I'm a Chauvinist?

I'm a student, and around many young adults, I can tell you that there is much holding doors open for people going on here. The young'uns are just as likely to be polite as the older people. However, nobody stands when I enter a room. That would be a bit off-putting for me. Lots of "oh, please, don't get up!", etc. instead of the normal greetings of griping about the weather.

I always stand to attention when you enter a room.

I'm a door holder no matter the sex and if I get a thank you that's nice and if I don't well then I still did the right thing.

This

I live in the midwest and this is incredibly commonplace tho. That's just what we do here.

Eh, I'm not a fan of guys who open doors specifically for women only. Why not open doors for EVERYONE who seems in need of help?

Because it's nicer to watch a woman walking through the door than a man...

Ooooo. :laugh: Truth comes out?

Ha! Well, that further confirms why I dislike it, then.

I'm in the South, and in general, people hold doors for each other. I've a had a few instances where someone has dropped a door right on me, I just open it up and say loudly "thank you so much for holding the door". Normally they ignore me, but I feel better because I feel like I've made my point.

I am an equal opportunity door holder. Male, female, young or old, I don't care. It's just plain common courtesy. My husband and I raised our son (our only child) to hold doors for people, too. It was cute when he was about 5 years old because he LOVED to play doorman. It usually made us late, but he really liked doing it and people got a kick out of it.

I can only say that I appreciate it when someone holds the door for me. I have 3 (grown) sons, they had better hold the door for a woman. If not, "Momma's gonna get ugly."

I am raising my sons to be couteous and polite (they are 7) so I fully appreciate your statement!!

I can only say that I appreciate it when someone holds the door for me. I have 3 (grown) sons, they had better hold the door for a woman. If not, "Momma's gonna get ugly."

I am raising my sons to be couteous and polite (they are 7) so I fully appreciate your statement!!

Okay so I'm at risk of sounding extremely chauvinistic here, but so many women I know on MFP and in real life always feel obligated to show their sons the importance of being a gentleman. In my opinion, this is the father's responsibility to show them how to be a man.

I always hold the door open for women. Then when they pass me I give them a nice slap on the *kitten* :laugh: :laugh:

I am appreciative when people open a door for me when my hands are full; in recent memory, I believe the exact phrase I used in all earnestness was "Thank you very much indeed." I try to extend the same courtesy to others every time I can.

However, I would like to throw in one teeny tiny wrinkle y'all may not have thought of, that may allow you to think more generously of people who don't hold the door sometimes.

They may have some level of hidden disability. I sometimes have chronic shoulder problems, and if I under-do it or over-do it with physical therapy or heavy lifting, it really hurts to hold a door open for the person behind me, so I have to let it shut and I feel really, really sheepish about that. And if I'm coming up to the door first when I would normally hold it to let someone else pass, sometimes I have to just do the minimum amount of pulling to let myself squeak through in order to minimize the time my shoulder is under load.

Some of them are just boorish louts, no doubt about it, but please consider being charitable in your thoughts, because some of them might just be temporarily or permanently incapacitated and you just can't tell by looking.

I can only say that I appreciate it when someone holds the door for me. I have 3 (grown) sons, they had better hold the door for a woman. If not, "Momma's gonna get ugly."

I am raising my sons to be couteous and polite (they are 7) so I fully appreciate your statement!!

Okay so I'm at risk of sounding extremely chauvinistic here, but so many women I know on MFP and in real life always feel obligated to show their sons the importance of being a gentleman. In my opinion, this is the father's responsibility to show them how to be a man.

Absolutely. Meanwhile, mothers should focus their efforts on their daughters and teach them how to properly scrub pots and pans and pump out babies.

Okay so I'm at risk of sounding extremely chauvinistic here, but so many women I know on MFP and in real life always feel obligated to show their sons the importance of being a gentleman. In my opinion, this is the father's responsibility to show them how to be a man.

Yep, you sure do. Not everybody has a father in their life (for a variety of reasons, none of which require you to pass judgment on), and not every mother has the luxury of delegating the responsibility of teaching human decency to their children. I'm pretty sure you don't need a penis to teach someone how to behave like a gentleman. Are girls raised by their fathers doomed to a lifetime of un-ladylike behavior (whatever TF that means...)?

I can only say that I appreciate it when someone holds the door for me. I have 3 (grown) sons, they had better hold the door for a woman. If not, "Momma's gonna get ugly."

I am raising my sons to be couteous and polite (they are 7) so I fully appreciate your statement!!

Okay so I'm at risk of sounding extremely chauvinistic here, but so many women I know on MFP and in real life always feel obligated to show their sons the importance of being a gentleman. In my opinion, this is the father's responsibility to show them how to be a man.

Absolutely. Meanwhile, mothers should focus their efforts on their daughters and teach them how to properly scrub pots and pans and pump out babies.

Often times mothers need to show their sons how to be a man because the father is nowhere to be found...

Okay so I'm at risk of sounding extremely chauvinistic here, but so many women I know on MFP and in real life always feel obligated to show their sons the importance of being a gentleman. In my opinion, this is the father's responsibility to show them how to be a man.

Yep, you sure do. Not everybody has a father in their life (for a variety of reasons, none of which require you to pass judgment on), and not every mother has the luxury of delegating the responsibility of teaching human decency to their children. I'm pretty sure you don't need a penis to teach someone how to behave like a gentleman. Are girls raised by their fathers doomed to a lifetime of un-ladylike behavior (whatever TF that means...)?

Don't be so haste to say that I'm passing judgement. I do correct myself in that I should have noted that "if there is a father figure" in the son's life.

I didn't really feel the need to write an entire essay on listing all the other factors...just a quick forum post. We're being nice here people : )

Then here's a helpful tip. If you preface what you're saying with "at the risk of sounding whatever", that's your red flag that other people are going to think that you sound whatever. What inevitably follows "I don't mean to sound racist, but..."?

Okay so I'm at risk of sounding extremely chauvinistic here, but so many women I know on MFP and in real life always feel obligated to show their sons the importance of being a gentleman. In my opinion, this is the father's responsibility to show them how to be a man.

Yep, you sure do. Not everybody has a father in their life (for a variety of reasons, none of which require you to pass judgment on), and not every mother has the luxury of delegating the responsibility of teaching human decency to their children. I'm pretty sure you don't need a penis to teach someone how to behave like a gentleman. Are girls raised by their fathers doomed to a lifetime of un-ladylike behavior (whatever TF that means...)?

Don't be so haste to say that I'm passing judgement. I do correct myself in that I should have noted that "if there is a father figure" in the son's life.

I didn't really feel the need to write an entire essay on listing all the other factors...just a quick forum post. We're being nice here people : )

Then here's a helpful tip. If you preface what you're saying with "at the risk of sounding whatever", that's your red flag that other people are going to think that you sound whatever. What inevitably follows "I don't mean to sound racist, but..."?

You are correct. I should have done a better job with my wording.

he probably thought your wife was a strong independent woman who don't need no man opening doors for her.

Last night my wife travelled about 80 miles to help my daughter pack up her apartment in preparation for moving. As my wife was walking up the walkway to the apartment building, a College student (male) walked ahead of her, opened the door, entered, and let it shut on my wife. My wife had a vacuum cleaner in one hand and a carpet cleaner in the other.

I know the kid didn't do anything wrong, but, when my wife called last night and told me, it plssed me off.

What happened to manners? Opening doors for other people? Giving up your seat to a woman or an older person? Standing when a woman enters the room?

These are just common courtesies that we were raised to practice. Does showing courtesy and/or deference make me a Chauvinist?

One thing that I have noticed over tha last few years is that when I open a door for someone and let them enter ahead of me, they are surprised. Is it that uncommon now?

I'm a little dissappointed. People are so self-involved. Half the younger people I see these days have ear buds in and are looking down at their cell phone, texting. They don't even know what is going on around them. But, I guess, I prefer to thing that they are unaware than intentionally rude.

I am replying to this before even reading the replies But I just had to say that I totally agree with you on the lack of manners and self-involvement. I come from a very old-fashioned southern upbringing, and I think it's sad that people, and largely, but not exclusively, young people do not know how to interact with others courteously. And I don't think it's a male/female issue. I ALWAYS open a door for someone with their hands full, and about half the time, I'll get a thank you. I don't do it to be thanked. I do it to be kind.

I can't tell you, though, how many times I've had a door slammed in my face when my hands were full, by older men.

My siblings and I were just taught to be kind, considerate, and help out when we could. And it's stuck. That's not being taught much anymore (and I'm not saying never. But it certainly isn't as prevalent.)

You're not a chauvinist, RD. Well, not because of THAT!