What to eat when you are invited for dinner

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  • tempehforever
    tempehforever Posts: 183 Member
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    I eat with others at least three times a week, typically.

    If someone's cooked for me in their home, I absolutely eat whatever they've prepared for me--just in reasonable quantities. I'd never refuse something offered unless I had an allergy or it was just one thing out of many (for instance, I might skip one or two of the side dishes). Or I might turn down alcohol if I didn't feel like drinking that night, etc.

    I don't believe in "good" or "bad" food. Even 3-5 meals out of the 21 main meals I eat per week really isn't that much, anyway. I eat pretty "healthy" when I cook for myself precisely so I can eat "less healthy" food when I'm out with others.

    If we're at a restaurant, I just order what I want--something light, like a salad or soup, if I need to.
  • twixlepennie
    twixlepennie Posts: 1,074 Member
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    Guys, it's fine! I don't have an unhealthy relationship with food :P To me it's just common sense to eat what makes you feel good. When I eat pizza and a lot of wheat I get headaches and stomach pains, I don't really like it either. It's okay once in a while but not more than that. It's just dead food, no wonder it does make people feel bad. If anyone loves a pizza once a week and has no problems with it that is totally fine, it's just not who I am..

    Not everyone likes things; that's understandable. I don't eat burgers or any red meat, personally, because of how sick I feel after.

    But you *did* call it "crappy." That's a judgmental word; you came off as "holier than thou" in your first post, and often orthorexics will give highly negative words to foods so they don't eat them. Ex: I'm not going to eat pizza occasionally, because it's full of toxins. Even in this explanation, you still said it's "dead food; no wonder it makes people feel bad." Don't you see how that comes off? Hell, I'm lactose intolerant AND have those issues with red meat, and pizza has never given me those issues.

    Add that to your profile saying you're thin (which you are), but want to lose TEN pounds to "feel better about myself" is all worrisome.

    Just letting you know.

    Orthorexia is the first thing that popped into my head after reading the Op's first post as well.

    I eat out all the time (usually Friday, Saturday and Sundays every week), and I've had no problem losing weight and now maintaining. There is no 'good' food or 'bad/crappy/dead' food. Food is food, calories in calories out.
  • dayone987
    dayone987 Posts: 645 Member
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    Okay, wait, I think we might have a little miscommunication here. I know MaritzK (IRL) and have the same problem as her. What she means is not really about being 'invited to dinner'. We are both in a student society (don't know the right translation, we're Dutch, but it's kind of like a sorority) and eat with them twice a week. This is a situation when the people who feels like cooking, cook, and we all pay the bill together monthly. It's not really a matter of being impolite by refusing their food because we usually make it together (which means we also have a say in what's on the table, making it easier for both me and MaritzK, however we don't always have time to cook with them etc).

    Also, to all the people saying she needs counseling: I understand you are trying to help, but don't you think that's a little quick to judge on your side? How much can you know of a person just by what they say in a forum post and on their profile?

    So what you're saying, it's communal preparation and dining, but the times you and Maritz aren't there to help out with cooking (but you are there for the eating!) , other people prepare food for you and you don't like it.

    Got it.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    I'm kind of shocked I have to say.. I judge bad food, I don't judge the people that make it. I would rather eat something than be impolite or rude but that doesn't work in long term so I was searching for some kind of balacing answer. Thanks to those who shared one of their own tips and to all others that were hatefull, I'm sorry in case my topic hurt you that wasn't my intention. Just looking for the same support and weightloss journey friends as you all do..

    "Bad" food.....goes right back to page 1. You are getting squirmier with each comment. Is it hateful to care about a stranger? hmmm
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    Food is a social event and there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with the food choices your friends make. You can either say 'no thanks' or go and make your own choices. There have been plenty of times where I've only ordered a side salad, or a small burger with no fries, or a chicken sandwich or some other half way decent choice that will be on the menu. There have also been other times where I've said I'll go, but I'm not eating there, and I just sit, enjoy the company and have a drink while they eat. Nothing wrong with that.

    ^^ Very healthy approach!
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    Wow, isn't MFP supposed to be a supportive and understanding community? What's up with all the people saying she's rude and just overall "not fun"? I know I won't be asking any questions anytime soon.

    Because a civil response to being invited for a meal is not to refer to the food on offer as 'crappy'.

    agreed.

    I didn't realize not wanting to go to food became a huge social quandary.

    just say no thanks I packed a lunch and don't want to waste the food. Why is this a crisis for SO many people?
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I'm kind of shocked I have to say.. I judge bad food, I don't judge the people that make it.


    I don't judge- I'm a solider in the clean army- I take action against sinful food and punish it. Slap- chop- hang- torture even.

    Judging is for hypocrites WE MUST UNIT IN THE MARCH AGAINST THE EVIL FOOD- THEIR EMPIRE SHALL NOT RISE!!!!
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    Does anyone have tips how to avoid making yourself a social outsider in terms of food and still stay with your own food choices?

    The simple answer is to get new friends, ones who eat and exercise the way you want to eat and exercise.

    No, it doesn't mean you have to completely drop your old friends.
  • RivenV
    RivenV Posts: 1,667 Member
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    I'm kind of shocked I have to say.. I judge bad food, I don't judge the people that make it.

    Sigh.

    This may have been more in kind with the type of answer she wanted, I think.

    original.gif

    Also maybe one of these babies, "Guuuuuurrrrrl, You just do what you want! Ain't nobody got time to be eating crappy food from some crappy friends who deigned to invite you over to their house. Shame on them for even trying to include you! Don't they know you have some so-very-particular attitudes about food?"
  • Sjenny5891
    Sjenny5891 Posts: 717 Member
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    So this is an issue I come across at least two times a week: eating with others. I get invited or go out for dinner or lunch and I just don't know how to say friendly: No thanks, I don't want to eat your crapy food. And by crapy I mean like french fries, burgers, pizza, ice cream, big three course dinners and so on, because that is what most of my friends like to eat. As it happens so often it really isn't an option to just forget about a healthy diet for once (once in a while a pizza is okay I think but then we're talking about once in a month or so). Are there any people experiencing the same problems? And what do you do? Does anyone have tips how to avoid making yourself a social outsider in terms of food and still stay with your own food choices?

    Thanks a lot! :)

    I can't handle over sweet or greasy food. Hamburgers, Hot Dogs, most Cookies etc... I simply tell the guys I'm allergic and cannot eat it.

    If you are eating at someones house you could bring a side dish you like. Take a respectfull ammount of the main dish and eat mostly your side. ( I do this at our company carry-ins)

    When I'm eating out at a place that doesn't offer enough options I will just get something small and visit.

    The only other option is to avoid everything but that could come across as standoffish or rude.
  • VaingloriousVictoria
    VaingloriousVictoria Posts: 137 Member
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    I tell people I can't eat foods like that, and a majority of my friends and coworkers understand my journey and relationship with food. I can always find something to eat. If I know it's going to be a really bad restaurant, I'll eat a snack before and have a light lunch/dinner. If I'm not hungry at all, I'll have a glass of wine. :)

    Planning beforehand doesn't really work for me at restaurants, but I know I can always have grilled meats, salads, and brothy soups. I would have fallback meals that you know you can eat wherever you go. Good luck!
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    So this is an issue I come across at least two times a week: eating with others. I get invited or go out for dinner or lunch and I just don't know how to say friendly: No thanks, I don't want to eat your crapy food. And by crapy I mean like french fries, burgers, pizza, ice cream, big three course dinners and so on, because that is what most of my friends like to eat. As it happens so often it really isn't an option to just forget about a healthy diet for once (once in a while a pizza is okay I think but then we're talking about once in a month or so). Are there any people experiencing the same problems? And what do you do? Does anyone have tips how to avoid making yourself a social outsider in terms of food and still stay with your own food choices?

    Thanks a lot! :)
    why dont you suggest the restaurant every now and then? also there are usually choices that can be made in most restaurants so i dont get what the big deal is. for instance, pizza places usually have things like chicken parmesan and if they make it there then you can ask for baked chicken with a salad. burgers can be served without cheese with a salad. just because a place serves fries doesnt mean you have to order the fries of the ice cream...

    i thought this was going to be about being invited to dinner at people's houses.

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