In need of advice: Stuck between 2 guys? Help...

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  • kassiebby1124
    kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
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    Thanks everyone! I'm seeing my bf today so he and I are gonna have to have a talk. My best friend DOES want to settle down and honestly, I'm 19 and I'm tired of "dating" too. But I'm also in college, haha so I dunno if I can settle just yet. Thank you for all your advice.
  • jlschuh44
    jlschuh44 Posts: 218
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    In need of some serious advice. I'm stuck between two awesome guys. One of which I'm technically "dating" and the other whom I am like best friends with, but he likes me. Now, the guy I'm dating is 18 and a year younger than me. He's probably going to the marines in June. The other is 22, has a business degree, job, ans is probably going to major in neuroscience when he enrolls back into college. They are both athletic and love to lift, just as I do.

    I just dunno what to do. The 22 year old doesn't know I'm dating the other guy because he and I are just friends for now. I made that clear. But he said that if he knew I was dating someone, he'd have to move on, which I don't want. I see potential with this guy but I like my current boyfriend. UGH. Help.
    Date the Marine.
  • Theahh
    Theahh Posts: 4
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    Honestly, I'd recommend that you go with the older guy. It sounds like he has his life together and you probably have more of a future with him. The other guy.. clearly your eye is already wandering, and he is leaving soon. Don't lead him on and then leave him as soon as he leaves for the military. That's not fair to him.

    Though, I will say I find it difficult to believe that you consider the second guy your best friend, yet he doesn't know you well enough for you to tell him you have a boyfriend? I don't know how that works.

    The other option is always to have an open relationship with both men, assuming they would both be okay with that. My guess is that they wouldn't be though, unless they've already shown themselves as having an open minded lifestyle.

    Also, you're still SUPER young. Chances are you wont end up marrying either of these men. Try not to stress yourself out too much over it, just do whatever your instinct tells you.
  • vjohn04
    vjohn04 Posts: 2,276 Member
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    just break up.
  • jlschuh44
    jlschuh44 Posts: 218
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    choose the guy who is NOT going into the military WHEN the guy goes to the military. it will be a good distraction from all the other women he sleeps with while he's gone.
    That's not a fair quote. I know a little bit about this. There is little time...or opportunity..for most Marines.
  • JaxDemon
    JaxDemon Posts: 403 Member
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    Hmm three sum? Then go with the better lover lol.

    Sorry I think you should ditch them both it's clear you have no idea what or who you want, and you will end up just playing them both anyway while in that state of mind.
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
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    Go with the one beter in bed....
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    choose the guy who is NOT going into the military WHEN the guy goes to the military. it will be a good distraction from all the other women he sleeps with while he's gone.
    That's not a fair quote. I know a little bit about this. There is little time...or opportunity..for most Marines.

    it wasn't a quote, it was just me saying. also it wasn't meant to be fair, just playing the odds in her favor.
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
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    Honestly, this is some high school **** drama... I don't want to be mean, but people who generally don't know what they want need to be single. They need to be single to learn what they want, so they don't waste their and other people's time. This is coming from a conventional stand point... some people believe in polygamy (which I don't.).

    I'm sure you wouldn't want to be one of several girls dating one guy... or perhaps you might, but that's something that has to be mutual.
  • JJordon
    JJordon Posts: 857 Member
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    You want your cake and eat it too, while no one else, is the wiser.

    Welp, eventually, this will catch up to you.

    You cannot hold onto both, in the way you wish, forever. Eventually, you will be found out. Better to choose now than later.
  • mrdexter1
    mrdexter1 Posts: 356 Member
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    Its beyond me why any man cant see straight through you bar the fact they are both so young and in experienced ...

    Do the 22 year old friend a favour and let him walk away as I m sure you realise if the boot were on the other foot you wouldn't want to be saddled with a partner like yourself...

    ( Wish men would grow more nuts and hate to see us being taken advantage of , used and abused by women !)
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    So you are 19 and like two guys?

    This is the more normal advice question I have ever seen in the forums.

    This is what you do: You break up with your boyfriend. I get it, you like him. That's why when you break up with him you tell him you like him but that you are 19 and not ready to be in a relationship. Then you explore other options and discover what you actually want in a partner. All of this should be done outside of a relationship, so you have the freedom to explore whatever interests you. Once you have gotten to the point where you know what you want, you can seek it (and a relationship) out.

    The end.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    Its beyond me why any man cant see straight through you bar the fact they are both so young and in experienced ...

    Do the 22 year old friend a favour and let him walk away as I m sure you realise if the boot were on the other foot you wouldn't want to be saddled with a partner like yourself...

    ( Wish men would grow more nuts and hate to see us being taken advantage of , used and abused by women !)

    This!!
  • andreahanlon
    andreahanlon Posts: 263 Member
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    If you like them both the same, I say pick the one you have the most similar long term goals with. For example, are you willing to move wherever the marine is stationed? Or be away from him long periods of time if he is stationed abroad? Or would you rather be with the older fellow and accept that he will be super busy when he is in college and working? Is guy #2 going to relocate for neuroscience and tell you just to stay where you are while he starts his next phase? I would think about how you would see it working out best in the longrun. Also consider if either of these boys is looking for what you want (which I'm assuming is a longer term relationship). You don't want to break off something you know is good if the other fellow isn't looking for something real.
  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
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    mfpdeathmatch.jpg

    Or... which one do you think you'd still want to be with in 5 years time and such like.
  • CherylP67
    CherylP67 Posts: 772 Member
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    I didn't read through all of the replies, but here is my take on the situation.

    You are dating a guy and have feelings for another, there is something missing in your relationship if you are interested in someone else. Also, the guy you are dating said he would move on if there was another guy, and there is but you're not telling him. That is a big secret and something that will hamper your relationship. Safety and intimacy are based on trust, and you're not being trustworthy.

    I'm not being mean to you, just telling you what I see.
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
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    I'm 19 and I'm tired of "dating" too. But I'm also in college, haha so I dunno if I can settle just yet.

    Seriously?? You haven't even lived yet.
  • JingleMuffin
    JingleMuffin Posts: 543 Member
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    TOPIC: In need of advice: Stuck between 2 guys? Help...

    i had a dream where that happened once- it was AWESOME
  • jothekid
    jothekid Posts: 230 Member
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    Go for the 2nd one, cause if you'd love the 1st one, you wouldn't look elsewhere...
  • kassiebby1124
    kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
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    Go for the 2nd one, cause if you'd love the 1st one, you wouldn't look elsewhere...
    Well I know I don't love my boyfriend. We haven't even been dating for a month.

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