In need of advice: Stuck between 2 guys? Help...

kassiebby1124
kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
in Chit-Chat
In need of some serious advice. I'm stuck between two awesome guys. One of which I'm technically "dating" and the other whom I am like best friends with, but he likes me. Now, the guy I'm dating is 18 and a year younger than me. He's probably going to the marines in June. The other is 22, has a business degree, job, ans is probably going to major in neuroscience when he enrolls back into college. They are both athletic and love to lift, just as I do.

I just dunno what to do. The 22 year old doesn't know I'm dating the other guy because he and I are just friends for now. I made that clear. But he said that if he knew I was dating someone, he'd have to move on, which I don't want. I see potential with this guy but I like my current boyfriend. UGH. Help.
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Replies

  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    :huh: :noway:
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
    Seriously? YOU are stuck between two guys?
  • kassiebby1124
    kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
    :huh: :noway:
    That wasn't the advice I was going for but uh..thanks?

    I seriously am in a pickle /:

    In simple terms:
    I'm in a relationship with a guy I like very much, my best friend likes me and while I have feelings for him, I like my boyfriend. My best friend doesn't know I'm in a relationship.
  • kassiebby1124
    kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
    Seriously? YOU are stuck between two guys?
    What's the supposed to mean?
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    I seriously am in a pickle /:


    Yes you are... or rather you have 2 pickles in you.. :laugh:
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
    Been there done that back in high school 20 years ago! Honestly, just go with your heart. The only one who can make this decision is you. Go with the guy who treats you like the most important person in the world. Go with the guy who will go to the ends of the earth for you. Listen to your heart and you'll find the answer.

    Good luck hon! Makes me so glad I'm old and married!:laugh:
  • moya_rargh
    moya_rargh Posts: 1,473 Member
    You're stuck between two guys? Have you tried wriggling to get free?

    Sorry, I couldn't resist! :laugh:
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
    I seriously am in a pickle /:


    Yes you are... or rather you have 2 pickles in you.. :laugh:

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Use the pickle juice as a grease to un-jam you from those two guys!
  • vdubsl
    vdubsl Posts: 11
    Honestly in my opinion, if you're interested in your best friend it probably means your heart isn't in it with this current guy.
    You can try it out for a few weeks see if you're still interested in your best friend and then decide but it's kinda wrong imo to possibly lead one or the other on.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    stuck in between two guys that you like, kind of like a sandwich, sounds good to me :drinker:
  • xxnellie146xx
    xxnellie146xx Posts: 996 Member
    There is a reason you haven't told your best friend. My best friend should know who you are dating,
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
    I find if you grease the poles with a good lubricant you'll become unstuck and can continue to have fun playing piggy in the middle.
  • angex3333
    angex3333 Posts: 83 Member
    Umm a "best friend" knows everything about you! They would definitely know if you had a boyfriend. You dont keep things from a "best friend" especially the fact you have a boyfriend. Doesnt sound like this person is your "best friend!! Of course this depends on your perception of "best friend" and "boyfriend". Best to be honest with yourself before you can be honest with anyone else!!
  • clintondeterville
    clintondeterville Posts: 12 Member
    sounds to me like your not very loyal any ways got a bf already and some one else has show an intrest and now you can not make up your mind:noway: well this one is easy your current bf:love: when he goes in the marines he will be shagging behind your back and will brake up with you any way:laugh: so might as well pick guy #2:flowerforyou: he sounds like he with have a few quid and he lifts bonus :laugh: TRUE:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    This is not something that anyone here is going to be able to decide for you. Either choice is a risk. Do both guys a favor, choose quickly and let the other one go.

    eta: I know that you are only dating, but being in a military relationship is extremely tough. If you're finding that your heart is pulled in another direction already, before the guy you're dating even leaves for boot camp, then things don't look good for that relationship. Assuming you married him you'd have to endure months of being alone, possibly with little contact, and you have to be able to stay faithful in that scenario. It's not a lifestyle for the faint of heart.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    choose the guy who is NOT going into the military WHEN the guy goes to the military. it will be a good distraction from all the other women he sleeps with while he's gone.
  • melissaboyd2909
    melissaboyd2909 Posts: 1
    Speaking from experience, go with your heart. You don't want to end up 25 years later still pining for your true love.

    Also, is there really a future with the possible Marine? Really be honest with yourself. Talk with him about things. When my b/f at the time went to the military and promised me the moon before he left, well he didn't keep those promises during those 8 months we were apart but I kept forgiving him and like a dummy married him. It's led to a lot of heartache for me over the last 23 years.

    I'd also talk to the best friend after talking with the possible Marine. If he's your best friend then he should know what you are going thru. He should be there to help and support you. If he feels he needs to move on from being your friend because you have a boyfriend then he's not really your best friend. My best friend is a male whom I've carried a torch for for years. He feels the same but because I'm still married he respects that and he has a girlfriend and a baby on the way with her. But he's still my best friend. We text several times a day and talk on the phone at least once a week. We live 800 miles apart and didn't see or speak to each other for 25 years and when we reconnected it was like we had always been talking and in each others lives.
  • clarkeje1
    clarkeje1 Posts: 1,641 Member
    the 22 year old
  • BeccaBollons
    BeccaBollons Posts: 652 Member
    When you are in your thirties and beyond, probably married with kids and you get to thinking about the past, evaluating life etc, which one will you be considering as 'the one who got away'?
    Stringing along 2 guys is not nice and someone is going to get hurt. If you don't take decisive action you're going to end up with neither of them.

    You're pretty young yet, if you're not thinking about settling down (like your best friend sounds to be wanting), just let your current relationship run its course.
  • Beastmaster50
    Beastmaster50 Posts: 505 Member
    If you woke up in the middle of the night scared, which one would you call?
  • kassiebby1124
    kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
    Thanks everyone! I'm seeing my bf today so he and I are gonna have to have a talk. My best friend DOES want to settle down and honestly, I'm 19 and I'm tired of "dating" too. But I'm also in college, haha so I dunno if I can settle just yet. Thank you for all your advice.
  • jlschuh44
    jlschuh44 Posts: 218
    In need of some serious advice. I'm stuck between two awesome guys. One of which I'm technically "dating" and the other whom I am like best friends with, but he likes me. Now, the guy I'm dating is 18 and a year younger than me. He's probably going to the marines in June. The other is 22, has a business degree, job, ans is probably going to major in neuroscience when he enrolls back into college. They are both athletic and love to lift, just as I do.

    I just dunno what to do. The 22 year old doesn't know I'm dating the other guy because he and I are just friends for now. I made that clear. But he said that if he knew I was dating someone, he'd have to move on, which I don't want. I see potential with this guy but I like my current boyfriend. UGH. Help.
    Date the Marine.
  • Theahh
    Theahh Posts: 4
    Honestly, I'd recommend that you go with the older guy. It sounds like he has his life together and you probably have more of a future with him. The other guy.. clearly your eye is already wandering, and he is leaving soon. Don't lead him on and then leave him as soon as he leaves for the military. That's not fair to him.

    Though, I will say I find it difficult to believe that you consider the second guy your best friend, yet he doesn't know you well enough for you to tell him you have a boyfriend? I don't know how that works.

    The other option is always to have an open relationship with both men, assuming they would both be okay with that. My guess is that they wouldn't be though, unless they've already shown themselves as having an open minded lifestyle.

    Also, you're still SUPER young. Chances are you wont end up marrying either of these men. Try not to stress yourself out too much over it, just do whatever your instinct tells you.
  • vjohn04
    vjohn04 Posts: 2,276 Member
    just break up.
  • jlschuh44
    jlschuh44 Posts: 218
    choose the guy who is NOT going into the military WHEN the guy goes to the military. it will be a good distraction from all the other women he sleeps with while he's gone.
    That's not a fair quote. I know a little bit about this. There is little time...or opportunity..for most Marines.
  • JaxDemon
    JaxDemon Posts: 403 Member
    Hmm three sum? Then go with the better lover lol.

    Sorry I think you should ditch them both it's clear you have no idea what or who you want, and you will end up just playing them both anyway while in that state of mind.
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    Go with the one beter in bed....
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    choose the guy who is NOT going into the military WHEN the guy goes to the military. it will be a good distraction from all the other women he sleeps with while he's gone.
    That's not a fair quote. I know a little bit about this. There is little time...or opportunity..for most Marines.

    it wasn't a quote, it was just me saying. also it wasn't meant to be fair, just playing the odds in her favor.
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
    Honestly, this is some high school **** drama... I don't want to be mean, but people who generally don't know what they want need to be single. They need to be single to learn what they want, so they don't waste their and other people's time. This is coming from a conventional stand point... some people believe in polygamy (which I don't.).

    I'm sure you wouldn't want to be one of several girls dating one guy... or perhaps you might, but that's something that has to be mutual.
  • JJordon
    JJordon Posts: 857 Member
    You want your cake and eat it too, while no one else, is the wiser.

    Welp, eventually, this will catch up to you.

    You cannot hold onto both, in the way you wish, forever. Eventually, you will be found out. Better to choose now than later.

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