good comebacks?!

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24

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  • JustYandy
    JustYandy Posts: 221 Member
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    "It's not my fault you got rapped 3 times...laid down spread your legs and 2 cows came"
  • chani8
    chani8 Posts: 946 Member
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    Well, just <hugs> to you!! Being a real person with real feelings was the best response!

    The goal is to learn to love yourself so much, that nobody can hurt you with their ugly words. Why should you be hurt to be called fat? I'm a lot of things, and if someone called me them, I'd be like, "Nu?"
  • silverraiyne
    silverraiyne Posts: 683 Member
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    I just blow kisses and give a cutsie way, seems to piss em off real good ;-)

    kelly-kapowski-wave_zpsb74333da.gif
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
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    Tell her, "Your nose is so big you can use all 5 fingers to pick it. "
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
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    "God bless you!"
  • paygep
    paygep Posts: 401 Member
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    "God bless you!"

    I like this... or "Jesus loves you!"
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
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    Man, all the above are good. I would have flipped her off and said "F**k you, b****!"
  • rieann84
    rieann84 Posts: 511 Member
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    Who cares what face you were making..the f**k would she even notice if she wasn't staring back at you? A good response to any "you're fat" bull**** is always that you can lose weight, but they'll always be ugly.

    "go f**k your mother" is another good, off-the-cuff one.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
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    "God bless you!"

    I like this... or "Jesus loves you!"
    Exactly, or "the Lord bless you!"
  • moya_rargh
    moya_rargh Posts: 1,473 Member
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    "That's because every time I f*** your husband he makes me breakfast."
  • paygep
    paygep Posts: 401 Member
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    "That's because every time I f*** your husband he makes me breakfast."

    Woo! ROFL
  • silverraiyne
    silverraiyne Posts: 683 Member
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  • youtalkfunny
    youtalkfunny Posts: 17
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    I've found that "Come here and say that!" usually shuts 'em up.

    That was the best part of being fat, nobody wanted to mess with me!
  • RN514
    RN514 Posts: 1,107 Member
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    When all else fails...I just put on the southern charm, smile sweetly, and give them a good ole "well bless your heart!"

    ETA:
    image_zps0f94514a.jpg
  • fozzie500
    fozzie500 Posts: 177 Member
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    "sorry,i must have been staring,i was just trying to figure out WHAT I was looking at". usually goes down well, or
    "I hear jim Henson and frank oz are auditioning,you should go for it!"
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
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    So I was at the gas station last night. When I got out of my car this lady rolls up in her Mercedes and yells " You got a problem? I don't like the way you looked at me!" So, I'm like "Excuse me?" And she says "You FAT!" and I was just like...

    I just could not think of a good comeback. :explode:

    Can anybody help me out for next time? I feel I need to be prepared in case this happens again.

    Anyone who rolls up to a stranger and says they don't like the way you looked at them and then calls a complete stranger fat on top of that, because they didn't like the way you looked at them as some REAL deep/serious issues going on in their life. We NEVER know how people get the things they have (the Mercedes) or what they've done or are doing to keep them. This lady obviously is going thru some real mess in her life, FOR SURE. I think you did the right thing by not engaging this foolish woman and getting down to her level.

    {{{{:heart: Hugs:heart: }}}}

    If a stranger were to say something bold and nasty like that to me, that is TRUE, I like to agree with them and ask them to pray for me--nothing throws water on fire like agreeing with a potential enemy. Example:

    "You're fat"...Girl, God bless you and me both richly. Ya know what, 1st of all I did give you a nasty look I'm sorry about that and as far as me being fat, you're right, which is one of the reasons I gave you a nasty look...I'm having a coffee Jones now--trying to feed my face something--will you forgive me and pray for me?

    You'd be surprised how people can/will humble themselves when you agree with them and ask them to forgive you and pray for you about the issues they rightly (or even wrongly sometime) accuse you of:flowerforyou:
  • the_dude00
    the_dude00 Posts: 1,056 Member
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    So I was at the gas station last night. When I got out of my car this lady rolls up in her Mercedes and yells " You got a problem? I don't like the way you looked at me!" So, I'm like "Excuse me?" And she says "You FAT!" and I was just like...

    tumblr_m7y05lA1tk1qzy5spo1_500.jpg


    I just could not think of a good comeback. :explode:

    Can anybody help me out for next time? I feel I need to be prepared in case this happens again.

    I would just laugh, and tell her she's funny. Then turn around and go back to my business. Wouldn't give her the time of day
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
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    When all else fails...I just put on the southern charm, smile sweetly, and give them a good ole "well bless your heart!"

    ETA:
    image_zps0f94514a.jpg


    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    That's what the old folks used to do/to say meaning "you're CRAZY"...:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • paygep
    paygep Posts: 401 Member
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    When all else fails...I just put on the southern charm, smile sweetly, and give them a good ole "well bless your heart!"

    Yes, a well-applied "bless your heart" is always perfect. This was just outside of Atlanta, so we all know exactly what this saying *really* means!
  • paygep
    paygep Posts: 401 Member
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    I've found that "Come here and say that!" usually shuts 'em up.

    That was the best part of being fat, nobody wanted to mess with me!

    I did notice that she did not get out of her car to talk **** to me!

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