Food-Policing Boss

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  • tfleischer
    tfleischer Posts: 199 Member
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    Let us know how the job search goes for ya
    [/quote]

    That is probably solid, though snarky, advice. If the boss in question is willing to make these kinds of comments with others around, then she will not very likely take well to being called on the carpet about it, regardless of whether it is in private or not.
    She is not sexually harrassing you and unemployment boards (where you would file for benefits) have a tendency to lean toward the employer, not employee at times like this.
    Your job pays for the food that you put in your mouth. Develop a thicker skin and ignore the boss on these kinds of comments.
  • happysherri
    happysherri Posts: 1,360 Member
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    Make her a cupcake with laxative in it! Punch her in the face! Or you could ask to speak with her and let her know it bothers you (I guess).

    :-) goodluck
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
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    To make an assertive responce is 3 parts Facts, Feelings, Fair request.

    Speak to her alone tell her that her comments about how or what you eat make you feel judged and that you dont like it. Please refrain from commenting about my eating habbits.

    Keep it simple. Use your own words (I'm just guessing about what your most important feelings are). Only a few sentences are necessary and dont appologise for how you feel. You aren't wrong for having feelings.

    Edit: If you do this and she still makes a comment, you can say in the moment (infront of others) I've asked before, please dont comment about my eating habits.

    Go with this. But record what has been said, and write down names of who was present. If she is vindictive, it could get worse and you may need some documentation in case your job is threatened. This is worst case scenario, but it never hurts to cover your own butt.

    This right here. As your supervisor, she does not have the right to make ANY personal comments towards you. My old boss used to tell me I had my "tight pants on today" and that "a man would have to be rich to put a ring on YOUR finger". I wish, oh how I WISH I had the confidence at the time to confront her about it. She embarrassed the hell out of me on multiple occasions and in front of other employees with her comments.

    If the scenarios continue after speaking with her AND it's bothering you, take it higher. She does not have any right to make ANY comments on anything personal.
  • headofphat
    headofphat Posts: 1,597 Member
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    I have found that people who aren't happy with their own image or habits are the ones who tend to comment on your diet. They want to tear you down with little comments. Anyway, your boss is just one of those people who is insecure. There is absolutely no other reason for her/him to comment on your choices unless that is the case.
  • headofphat
    headofphat Posts: 1,597 Member
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    Make her a cupcake with laxative in it! Punch her in the face! Or you could ask to speak with her and let her know it bothers you (I guess).

    :-) goodluck

    ^^^the second idea.
  • notworthstalking
    notworthstalking Posts: 531 Member
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    This sounds like a tough situation . I know at my work we have just recently gone through the work place bullying policy. Basically some people have not being acting or speak appropriately to others. Now we are a small part of a pretty big company and these policies apply to everyone. A big one though is if. You don't like a joke or comment, say something. In your case I would say ' please stop commenting on everything I eat. I don't feel comfortable.' Polite and let's the person know. If you ignore comments it's possible the other person just doesn't know they are bothering you. It's like I am not a fan of dirty jokes at work. So if someone says something I am mildly annoyed about, I will say ' that's not funny mate '. I do tend to ignore them, but that's more because I am not offended, just think they are lame *kitten* jokes lol . It can be hard if your company doesn't have a workplace bullying policy in place. I know in Australia , they have too. Whatever you say, be polite. But I feel you shouldn't have to feel victimised at work. The main advice I tell my 7 year old is , ' don't be a bully yourself' . So as an adult, don't resort to name calling or copy your bosses bad behaviour . Also you need to decide if it's actually bothering you that match.
  • msbunnie68
    msbunnie68 Posts: 1,894 Member
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    Have you tried going with it a little - like when she comments on your gym rountine, give her a little flex and slap the muscle and a big smile and say 'ohh yeah...getting better every day - just started Zumba (or whatever you are doing now) have you tried it - it's awesome" Or slap your rear and say "no cupcake butt here baby". That's how I deal with the snarkies. Agree with them and highlight how well you are doing. The cupcakes usually slide back onto the plate pretty quick and the comments stop because your boss frankly do NOT want to hear how happy you are with yourself.

    Your boss has found a little weakness that she thinks she can exploit to bring you down a little so I am thinking she is not all that fit and likes to be in control of everything. Someone looking better than her is something she cannot control so she will try to erode you. Don't let her but don't get yourself fired in the process either.
  • egrusy
    egrusy Posts: 196 Member
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    This is a tough situation indeed. I would definitely suggest a PRIVATE talk with her unless she's the upper mucky-muck of the company. If she has higher-ups, and you tell her you really think she's going over the line in a personal way, she'll probably think twice about doing it again out of concern that you will go over her head with the complaint.

    If that's not an option, I would consider turning her on her head. She's obviously trying to be snarky and mean, and probably enjoys whatever reaction she gets from you, whether it's your facial expression or whatever that shows her she's hit her mark. Instead, pretend you don't realize it's a snark. If she says something like she has in the past, "She doesn't eat carbs" or "You're breaking her ban", just look all excited and say something like, "Oh, no, there are no foods that I can't eat!" or something similar. Perhaps after she stops getting a reaction she wants, as subtle a reaction as that might be, she'll lose her motivation to be such a .....
  • papayawhip0126
    papayawhip0126 Posts: 4 Member
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    You are so right. Her comments say much more about her than they say about me! Thank you.

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