When to quit

don't stop until you feel it's the right time. you're the one that got yourself so overweight, and you're the one that finally decided to take control and do something about it. losing weight is about getting and staying in control. once you give the power to others to dictate what you do with your weight loss, you lose control.

Have you gotten input from a Dr, Dietician, or Trainer at a Gym? We are our own worst critic and I would NOT trust what I see in the mirror. As a good Friend of mine puts it "I have broken eyes" because we always see our flaws when we look in the mirror.
There will always be people in your life telling you that you have lost too much weight, or that you don't need to watch your diet anymore. It does concern me some that EVERYONE in your life is telling you that you look sick. If you feel good generally speaking, you are eating good, sleeping well and being active every day, you are probably OK where you are. I really would encourage you to check with a Dr who will be able to advise you on what to do.

A Trainer would be a great idea. Stop when you believe you can maintain a healthy weight in real life. You will still watch what you eat and exercise regularly (Did we really think it would change?). Your BMI is still in the overweight catagory - you can tell your family that you will stop when you hit normal. Good luck!

i would agree that i also prefer to have a few extra wrinkles but feel healthy and strong inside
Also dont get too hung up on BMI numbers, it can only be a guide. Trust me, you would be surprised how many athletes would come in as overweight or obese because of their muscle density. :noway: There are other measures available if you want to go down that route - not particularly pleasant but prob more accurate - fat callipers:laugh:
Also there are plenty of fitness tests you could do if you want to be reassured.
Maybe if you gave yourself another healthy/fitness goal such as a charity run/event you might channel all that negative feeling into something positive and show others what really is achievable.
well done on your progress so far, your children must be proud and you are a great role model for them :flowerforyou:

Asking a doctor and consulting a personal trainer are both probably adviseable. You might also consider weight training with your upper body to combat that "little upper half" thing. I've watched a lot of people lose weight with weight loss surgery fairly rapidly and they tend to look ill for a while. It will take time for your body to reach an equilibrium where it looks normal. The flabby skin is another story. Some of it will resolve itself, but for the most part it's just going to hang around and be flabby. One of my girlfriends showed me her belly after her 150 pound weight loss. She said "I look like a sharpei!" Muscle mass is your friend there, too.

do what you want not what others think you should BMI is a good guide if you are still over weight that would be what guides me

First of all, you're doing great -- especially doing it on your own, without a gym or trainer. Way to go!

I have had more than a few clients in precisely your shoes, and here's what I do with them.

The first thing I do is measure not their BMI, but their body fat. If it's high, we talk about why that's unhealthy (not just, from their perspective, something they don't like aesthetically).

We set a long term goal, and at least one interim goal that isn't based on their weight, but their body fat. Every week I check these folks in and record it on a special log I created that has three columns: body weight, lean weight, and fat weight. That's what we focus on -- not weight loss, but body composition improvement.

As you know, there is no such thing as spot reduction but if most of your fat is located in one region of your body, most of the fat stores used up will come from there. That said, I have a couple of clients that had plenty of storage in their lower body and started looking a little "skeletal" on their upper body. That called for some serious weight lifting/resistance training of their upper body to build muscle to improve the look of their upper body and lay down a layer of lean, attractive muscle (which also tightened up their skin) and which also helped burn calories (during and after the workout) off the areas where they stored too much fat.

So many ladies think they're going to get bulky from big muscles, but that just doesn't happen unless the "bulk" comes from a thickening fat layer due to a poor diet. So remember that and go for it. You can do push ups (starting by leaning against a sold surface about table high) and building those arms and shoulders. Get online and find some challenging upper body exercises and challenge yourself. I will admit though, that it takes a lot of lifting at challenging weights, to build muscle in us girls. We just don't have the testosterone necessary to make a big change, quickly!

Keep it up with your elliptical because you'll be using up those remaining fat stores you're not pleased with. And when folks ask you when you're going to stop, tell them it's when you and your doctor agree that you're at a healthy body fat level. That usually gets them to back off.

And I understand, first hand, how loose skin can be frustrating and it gets worse with age as my face gets thinner and doesn't have all that fat to fill it out. But for me, it's more about my healthy than my appearance so it's something I can totally live with. At some point, fat or heavy, if we're lucky enough to grow old, we have to contend with wrinkles and loose skin anyway. I find that many of my clients have friends and family who take the same approach and I'm convinced that many of them are simply jealous and find things they can draw attention to, as evidence supporting their argument that you should stop. It's interesting to note that those comments rarely coming from super fit, athletic and active folks.

So keep doing what you know is right. Build up the areas that you feel are becoming too slim with hard work, and stand tall and proud about what you've accomplished, Millions in this country would like to be able to say they've done what you have done. That's something to be very proud of!

At what point does a person decide that it's time to embrace your flaws and just try and stay healthy by maintaining weight?

Never!!!! You go till you are happy with what you see or you have exhausted all non surgical options to get what you want and then you decide if you want to take that next BIG step or not.

I know I have a spare tire that is shinking but I have fat on my inner thighs, butt cheeks, rear flanks and lower stomach that WILL LEAVE MY BODY one way or the other!!!

Hence why I shoot for 8% body fat and if not ill save and get a trunk lift. I am too young and too studdly to have saggy skin and a wrinklie butt that looks like the face of a baby pug.