I'm jealous of a friend that I inspired.

Ummm, no, never experienced wanting something bad for my friend...evah. I'm a lifer with friends and they have my heart until I'm gone from this earth. I always want the absolute best for them. You may need to get some help with this since it appears you do recognize it as an issue.

Maybe, its the first time I've felt like this. It's an odd feeling and I know it's not right. I know I'm competitive but I've never despised a friend like this before. I blame part of it on facebook, I see every day his posts on his progress as he posts pictures and his workouts on facebook every dang day.

It's time to stop logging into Facebook then.

Thats kind of crazy, I can see your point as I would be pissed if one of my chubby friends suddenly got skinnier than me after being inspired by me and I would be bummed, but I would be happy for them, and use that jealousy as fuel to better myself. Do it. Use your anger/jealousy to fuel you! AND FYI jealousy is not attractive so if you have a GF keep it to yourself lol.

Ok, I'll play armchair psychologist ;-)

Your jealousy isn't really about your friend. It's about what you think you *should* be, and knowing you're not there. Your friend's just a mirror, and right now you want to smash it because you don't like what you see.

And you get that it is your issue, which is an important first step. Now take that second step and see how it's really self-loathing. And work on that. I don't know what your goals are, so I can't advise you to one-up this guy. It's not about him anyway. It's about what YOU really want and where you are now, and how you feel about all that.

Re-focus. What do YOU want? Really? Okay. Now how are you going to get there?

And btw, pretty ballsy to put it out there in the forums like that.

Well damn, not only do you get calorie counting with this web site...you get free psych eval!

I luh this site!

In any competition, the victor usually outdid their opponent by preparation, practice and paying attention to detail. He wanted more than you did and accomplished those.
And you're jealous because you KNOW you can do it too, but for some reason haven't mustered up the guts to COMMIT to it. Till you do, you'll just keep on being green.
It's really just a decision and commitment you have to make on your own.
He didn't STEP on you on the way to success (like some people do in life), he just attained it through burning desire. Should be an inspiration instead of an exasperation.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Nothing is anon online. In other words the green eyed monster is out of the closet, let's slay it. The psychoanalysis done here was pretty good and in your heart you already knew what had to be done, so do it.

Not sure where to put this... Anyways... I'm jealous of a guy I inspired to lose weight.

A friend of mine 2 years ago saw me lose over 100lbs of weight, I was running 5k's and 10k's. He told me that it inspired him to take up a weight loss competition for a fitness magazine. He did awesome, he actually won his division and he in turn decided to change his focus on life and lost over 140 lbs in 10 months and is now trying to become a trainer. Now seeing how I bounced back into some bad habits I'm incredibly jealous of him.

I almost despise him for it and I know I shouldn't. He's a great guy and I really helped nudge him into making a better choice, sadly I didn't keep making those choices for myself.

Maybe you should be proud of the fact that it was you inspiring him in the first place that made him so successful? A teacher is never so proud as when the student surpasses him; it means he did a great job.

It's normal to envy him, but don't hate him. Instead feel happy that you helped change someone's life because YOU inspired someone else.

As for picking up bad habits STOP IT! remember how you lost the weight to begin with. How proud you were of yourself. Don't give up on yourself.

Ok, I'll play armchair psychologist ;-)

Your jealousy isn't really about your friend. It's about what you think you *should* be, and knowing you're not there. Your friend's just a mirror, and right now you want to smash it because you don't like what you see.

And you get that it is your issue, which is an important first step. Now take that second step and see how it's really self-loathing. And work on that. I don't know what your goals are, so I can't advise you to one-up this guy. It's not about him anyway. It's about what YOU really want and where you are now, and how you feel about all that.

Re-focus. What do YOU want? Really? Okay. Now how are you going to get there?

And btw, pretty ballsy to put it out there in the forums like that.

^This.Great response.

Part of my goal on this fitness quest is to inspire others if I can. Nothing can be cooler than knowing you inspired someone to make positive changes in their life because of you. He did all the work but you provided the spark and it's something you can add to your list of accomplishments even if he's never acknowledged that fact that you inspired him.

Facebook is the devil, my friend. Not everything you see is how things really are.

Try and look at it like this, while your getting jealous and having so many feels over his pics and what not, he is probably refreshing his page over and over to monitor the amount of "likes" his pics get. If they don't get as many as he feels validates the attention he is seeking from others, he probably feels just as bad as you do.

I may be completely wrong I'm sure he's probably a fantastic guy but in this day and age of social media and people's near obsession with getting validation in the form of a virtual thumbs up (given mostly out of a sense of obligation in most cases) it's definitely a possibility. Places like Facebook only show you what the poster wants you to see, not what is really going on.

Hope this helps

The problem isn't the guy and his success. The problem is you and your lack of success. It's no different than being jealous of a friend who got a new car while you're still driving around on your moped - it's not THEIR fault you're getting passed like you're standing still - it's YOURS. Instead of being jealous of the friend with the new car, why don't you work harder on yourself to get where you want to be. Stop comparing yourself to him. YOU aren't HIM. Being jealous of him is asinine and counterproductive. You can either wallow in self-pity and keep giving him the stink eye, or you can get off your duff and make the results you want to see. Simple as that. His ability to control his behaviors and exhibit discipline is no reason to be jealous - he's just better at it than you are. Channel that competitive nature into striving to have more self control and discipline than him if you must...

In other words, suck it up and drive on.