When does it stop being 'watching what you eat' and become a
KillingAurora
Posts: 333
Hey everyone, there's something that has been bothering me and I wanted to get some opinions...
When does watching what you eat become an obsession? Is there anyway to tell when you have crossed the line from being careful into being obsessed? I ask because I've been having a lot of arguments with a person in my life who thinks that I am too obsessed with counting calories and, for lack of a better word, dieting. I've only recently joined myfitnesspal, but prior to joining I lost 13kgs in about 3 months. Because I lost the weight so quickly there has been a fairly noticable change in how I look and the clothes I wear (I literally bought a whole new wardrobe because nothing I owned fit). This person is forever telling me that I should gain some weight, or at the very least stop trying to lose more. I am towards the bottom end of my healthy weight range, but I want to drop another ten kilos. Technically this would put me in the 'underweight' category, but my frame is quite small so I won't look too thin. This person is telling me that I am unhealthily obsessed and that I need to stop thinking about numbers. Admittedly I am forever thinking about numbers and calories, and today I worked out that I spend an average of two - three hours a day looking up nutritional information and researching diets, bmi's, calories... I love doing it, it's like a hobby for me. Does anyone else do stuff like that? Or am I just a weirdo obsessed with counting calories?
When does watching what you eat become an obsession? Is there anyway to tell when you have crossed the line from being careful into being obsessed? I ask because I've been having a lot of arguments with a person in my life who thinks that I am too obsessed with counting calories and, for lack of a better word, dieting. I've only recently joined myfitnesspal, but prior to joining I lost 13kgs in about 3 months. Because I lost the weight so quickly there has been a fairly noticable change in how I look and the clothes I wear (I literally bought a whole new wardrobe because nothing I owned fit). This person is forever telling me that I should gain some weight, or at the very least stop trying to lose more. I am towards the bottom end of my healthy weight range, but I want to drop another ten kilos. Technically this would put me in the 'underweight' category, but my frame is quite small so I won't look too thin. This person is telling me that I am unhealthily obsessed and that I need to stop thinking about numbers. Admittedly I am forever thinking about numbers and calories, and today I worked out that I spend an average of two - three hours a day looking up nutritional information and researching diets, bmi's, calories... I love doing it, it's like a hobby for me. Does anyone else do stuff like that? Or am I just a weirdo obsessed with counting calories?
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There is a fine line. I my hubby says I on MFP too much- he doesn't mind or give me hell over it. Just kind of jests about it. BUT I have weight to loose. MY only question is............. you are eating right? that's the only concern I have. Also I'd like to make a suggestion that if you are so interested in this stuff that you study for 2-3 hours a day, make it with a purpose. Find out how you can become certified in nutrition or something like that. I think its GREAT to educate yoursef.0
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First and foremost, and other people will back me up on this, people are JEALOUS. Who knows if that's what's up with your friend, but they are, and success in any way will change how people treat you.
You're not obsessed. Obsession means placing an unhealthy amount of importance on things that aren't, and you're not doing that. You're changing how you live. Food is a huge part of how we live our lives, and changing how we use food changes many facets of our lives, many in ways we never foresee at the beginning.
I've also spent hours upon hours researching nutrition, as well as training methods. Just like you said, it's a hobby, and a hobby that can make our lives SO much better!
haters gon' hate.0 -
Hey everyone, there's something that has been bothering me and I wanted to get some opinions...
When does watching what you eat become an obsession? Is there anyway to tell when you have crossed the line from being careful into being obsessed? I ask because I've been having a lot of arguments with a person in my life who thinks that I am too obsessed with counting calories and, for lack of a better word, dieting. I've only recently joined myfitnesspal, but prior to joining I lost 13kgs in about 3 months. Because I lost the weight so quickly there has been a fairly noticable change in how I look and the clothes I wear (I literally bought a whole new wardrobe because nothing I owned fit). This person is forever telling me that I should gain some weight, or at the very least stop trying to lose more. I am towards the bottom end of my healthy weight range, but I want to drop another ten kilos. Technically this would put me in the 'underweight' category, but my frame is quite small so I won't look too thin. This person is telling me that I am unhealthily obsessed and that I need to stop thinking about numbers. Admittedly I am forever thinking about numbers and calories, and today I worked out that I spend an average of two - three hours a day looking up nutritional information and researching diets, bmi's, calories... I love doing it, it's like a hobby for me. Does anyone else do stuff like that? Or am I just a weirdo obsessed with counting calories?
You indicate that you have reduced your weight by 13 kilograms already and you have another 10 to go. What is your current weight, and your height. On your profile page you indicate that you want to attain BMI of 17. If you are already at a "healthy" weight and your body fat is in a good range - and still your behaviors are that of someone who is very focused on becoming "thinner" then there may be a problem. It is, as Jess has indicated, a fine line between being informed and disciplined and being obsessed. Do a realistic evaluation, see a medical professional and/or nutritionist to evaluate where you are and where you need to be to be healthy. Sometimes we become so focused on what is "ideal" that we lose sight of what is "healthy." But honestly, i get the "You have lost enough already. Don't lose any more. etc." too now. But the reality is that my Body Fat is still at 32%, so I still have a ways to go.
Vickie0 -
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While I don't think its anyone's business but yours how you feel in your own body I think if you are with in a healthy body wt already and are aiming to be underwt and you spend 3 hours a day thinking about food ect..this is dangerous behaviour. Food thoughts are dangerous whether its about eating or not eating them. I'm a food addict but I over ate....I know many people in my OA group that are like you..obsessing about how little they could eat, being the "perfect" size to a point were it controlled their lives just as much as my unhealthy binge eating controlled my life. I thank my god that I found a freedom from this and mfp is just a great tool to be accountable and thats it. I don't really obsess over it anymore.0
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MY only question is............. you are eating right? that's the only concern I have. Also I'd like to make a suggestion that if you are so interested in this stuff that you study for 2-3 hours a day, make it with a purpose. Find out how you can become certified in nutrition or something like that. I think its GREAT to educate yoursef.
This is excellent advice. Make that time productive!
Sounds like whoever is telling you this is someone who cares about you. And it sounds like you think that person may be right. Have you seen your doctor since the weight loss? Perhaps you should make an appointment and let your friend know you are going. You can ask your doctor what is a healthy weight for you. (emphasis on HEALTHY) Make an agreement with your friend that if the doc says you need to lose more weight, then he/she will stop bugging you. If the doc says you need to stop losing weight and learn to maintain, then agree that you will follow the doc's advice.0 -
As long as you are consuming the calories you are suppose to consume, I think you are still ok. I have been counting my calories for 35 days now, and in all honesty, it has led me to eat more healthy. I am more aware now when I consume unhealthy meals by the calorie count. I try my best to not go over or stay below by more than 500 calories my targeted daily calorie count, which is 400 calories above 1200! So normally I am eating at my recommended calorie limit for the target I have put on myself. So for the past 6 weeks, I have lost about 12 lbs, that's an average of 2 lbs a week, which is perfectly healthy., and that's with exercise as well.0
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Haha, yes, I am eating. This is my argument; I know so much about nutrition and calories now that I know exactly what I am doing when it comes to food. So I am eating a lot less than I was 6 months ago, but so what? I am eating enough, and I know what enough is. The person I argue with has never had a weight problem and so knows nothing about diets and calories etc, because they've never needed to know. I needed to know because I struggled with my weight for years. It is only now that I have it under control. Also, I have thought about doing something constructive with my knowledge, but I love my current career far to much to leave it (I'm a primary school teacher... so at the very least my students will know about good nutrition!!
) Thanks for the advice and the reply 
If you are eating, then plug your ears when your friend comes around. People may not be jealous of you weight loss (since they haven't had a problem before ) but jealous of your willpower, dedication and education.0 -
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I used to think I was obsessing too. But I think it's the excitement of learning how to live your life better. Studying the labels is so necessary now a days. There is so much garbage and if you want to eat healthy and still have a treat now and then you have to make your best choices by studying the labels and looking up what these funky new lab created sugars are and what they can do to you.
Even if you're friend is just looking out for you they are being more damaging by trying to make you feel guilty and wrong about the change. If this person is important maybe you should share what you've learned and what it is you look for in food and why it's important to you and your health.
If they're like my boyfriend they want to eat at a really yummy place and forget that there is more fat and calories packed in what you used to like to eat than what you should be eating.
I talked to my boy and now he's more vigilant to help me make healthy choices. We haven't stopped going to our favorite places. He's got weight to gain and I've got weight to lose. But we're now a team against the calories! :bigsmile:
Make your friend a partner in weight loss. Maybe they'll get it.
Don't lose your focus on staying healthy for a long beautiful life ahead!0 -
I'm not sure what 13kg is in pounds, but I lost 20 pounds in 12 weeks at an average of a healthy 1.8 pounds per week. I also dropped three full sizes with those 20 pounds.
I was eating plenty. I did it in a healthy way. And it was definitely noticeable.
I think it becomes an obsession when you start restricting your calories to an unhealthy point and exercising beyond exhaustion trying to drop as much weight as possible in a very short period. Or if you start binging and purging (or just purging).
If you're eating healthy, exercising normally and not overly-restricting (fewer than 1,200 calories a day) and you're eating to satisfaction when you're hungry, you're fine.
You pretty much have to track diligently in order to lose at all, so there's nothing wrong with that.0 -
Aside from all the healthy aspects that other members commented on I think that "watching what you eat" becomes an obsession when you obsess about it. When you begin to become unhappy and freak out/feel bad about what goes in your mouth. When you cry or feel horrible because you went over in calories one day rather then understand why you ate it or that you'll put more effort into exercise / watching tomorrow.0
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If you are 5' 3" tall or above, you will be clinically underweight, and most likely stop having a period, or your body will not function properly at 17.4 BMI. With exercise and proper diet, you can trim your body to look fit even if you're at 150.0
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Be very, very careful. Weight is a touchy subject for all of us, and we can quickly take a weight gain or loss very personally. Be careful that your weight loss isn't driving how you feel about yourself. Also, leave room to cut loose a little bit...just to give yourself a break. Then it's not an obsession.
As a former dancer, I've seen way too many people get underweight because they think that's how they should look (and, in fact, that's how they are told to look). Despite what you may think you look like, being underweight can cause hosts of medical problems, in addition to the fact that it's impossible to maintain without going to drastic measures.
You've been great so far, you've finally conquered your weight loss...but you don't need to control it. Continue to live healthily and happily and you'll find a balance between hobby and obsession (and your friend will shut up).0 -
The fact that you're asking makes me think that this other person's claims at least has you thinking. My suggestion would be to talk with your doctor or a nutritionist/dietitian. They can let you know. Remember a low number on the scale doesn't necessarily represent health. This subject is something that is dear to me as I have a friend who starves herself and really doesn't see that she is underweight. When everyone else around her sees how she looks. I'm not saying that's where you are, but I am saying that it's real, it can happen. You're best bet is to get an opinion from a non-biased, honest health professional to examine you physically by taking in consideration all of you, the outward appearance and the inside stuff. Good luck!!!0
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Never! Healthy Lifestyle will never end! Care enough about yourself you will treat your body like a temple! Eating is hard enough without putting excess crap in your mouth. Thats why they produced the food pyrimid to show what you need to eat daily for your body to achieve. Don't let anyone tell you your obsessing about MFP! If you don't take of your own body who wii?
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First and foremost, and other people will back me up on this, people are JEALOUS. Who knows if that's what's up with your friend, but they are, and success in any way will change how people treat you.
You're not obsessed. Obsession means placing an unhealthy amount of importance on things that aren't, and you're not doing that. You're changing how you live. Food is a huge part of how we live our lives, and changing how we use food changes many facets of our lives, many in ways we never foresee at the beginning.
I've also spent hours upon hours researching nutrition, as well as training methods. Just like you said, it's a hobby, and a hobby that can make our lives SO much better!
haters gon' hate.
unless you know KillingAurora in real life, you don't know her motives and heart. you know her by what she puts online.
...your real life friends and family know you better than any of us around here will. yes, we have something in common with you because we have a common goal that maybe your friends and family don't have if they are not concerned about their health.
you not posting a picture of yourself, only a picture of a flower sends a flag up to me. we can't see the real you.
are you eating fruits, vegetables, proteins? are you going for just skinny, or a healthy life that involves a well balanced eating plan and moderate exercise. i understand both extremes. i have been there. my prayer is that you will chose health and not a skinny body.0 -
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All I can say is its all about you and the goals you would like to obtain. You are what you eat? It is not an obsession:glasses:0
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OMG im on my fitness pal ALL the time, I look up diets and workouts every day. I read calories and nutrition facts on every thing ! Its called caring what goes in the the only body you have. It is shown in a million studies that the less calories you consume througout your life can have a direct impact on how long you live. Ingesting excess calories only stresses you body out and wears it down. Your fine as long as your not starving yourself or barfing it up! do what makes you happy 0
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Nicley said!0
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For those who don't know the conversion, 47kg is 103.4 pounds. That's pretty darned low. Especially when you consider that in order to be that weight and have a BMI of 17 she's got to be between 5'4 and 5'5. I'm 5'5 and I'm aiming for a BMI of about 22, which would put me at a weight of around 130-135.
I think if you're already at a healthy weight and losing more would put in the underweight category, it's time to stop. Yes, friends get jealous and don't really want to see you be successful. But there are friends and a point when jealous friends actually do care about your health and well being. It seems like if you've already lost a lot of weight and are at a healthy weight but are still spending hours a day researching weight loss and constantly thinking about your calories, you're heading into dangerous territory. There are other ways to change the way your body looks. Once you're at a healthy weight you may just need to tone your muscles with a little weight lifting or some exercise like Pilates.
In addition, your mind may not have adjusted to your weight loss yet. Since you've struggled with your weight for some time your perception of yourself is still fairly negative. You see all your flaws and still think you're fat. But in all honesty, you aren't. Give yourself some time to start seeing yourself the way you really are. It's very easy to go overboard with weight loss and to obsess with food. If you're constantly thinking about food in any fashion, it's bad. You should be in the maintenance phase now, not the weight loss phase. You should be able to eat what you want without worrying too much as long as you exercise a little.0 -
And your goal weight of 47kgs is 103lbs. That's pretty low even for a short, small framed girl. I know a couple girls that I'd consider naturally skinny but not unhealthy at 110 pounds, but I could not imagine them losing 7 pounds. We can only offer opinions here, but a little more info would be helpful, like as others have questioned, what is your height and also why don't you make your food diary public so we can see how many calories you are eating.Grrr... Wrote a post then lost it....
Thank you all for the advice and support I think some part of me worries that I may be toeing the line into something unhealthy, and that's why I posted this. I guess I'll just have to see how things go and see how I feel...
In answer to some points raised....
Yes, I have seen a doctor since the inital loss (though not about my weight). He commented on my weightloss, but not in a negative way, more like an observation. He did mention that I was dehydrated, but that was because I was sick
I have spoken to my friend a billion times and tried to explain things, but it always ends in an argument. I do understand and appreciate that they are just trying to look out for me, but I also suspect that there may be some other motives that make me questions their comments. Also I know for a fact that they have told other people that they looked fine, don't lose any weight etc etc and then called them fat after having a falling out. Which makes me seriously question how reliable their word is. Also, they are the only person in my life that is having a problem with me losing weight. The only one. Everyone else tells me that I look good
Also, 13kgs is 28.6lbs for our American friends (and anyone else who prefers things in pounds!)0 -
For those who don't know the conversion, 47kg is 103.4 pounds. That's pretty darned low. Especially when you consider that in order to be that weight and have a BMI of 17 she's got to be between 5'4 and 5'5. I'm 5'5 and I'm aiming for a BMI of about 22, which would put me at a weight of around 130-135.
I think if you're already at a healthy weight and losing more would put in the underweight category, it's time to stop. Yes, friends get jealous and don't really want to see you be successful. But there are friends and a point when jealous friends actually do care about your health and well being. It seems like if you've already lost a lot of weight and are at a healthy weight but are still spending hours a day researching weight loss and constantly thinking about your calories, you're heading into dangerous territory. There are other ways to change the way your body looks. Once you're at a healthy weight you may just need to tone your muscles with a little weight lifting or some exercise like Pilates.
In addition, your mind may not have adjusted to your weight loss yet. Since you've struggled with your weight for some time your perception of yourself is still fairly negative. You see all your flaws and still think you're fat. But in all honesty, you aren't. Give yourself some time to start seeing yourself the way you really are. It's very easy to go overboard with weight loss and to obsess with food. If you're constantly thinking about food in any fashion, it's bad. You should be in the maintenance phase now, not the weight loss phase. You should be able to eat what you want without worrying too much as long as you exercise a little.
I totally agree!!! It's sounds like you're at a really good place now, try maintaining for a few months and see if you change your mind.0 -
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I wouldn't praise a celebrity for any reason much less being waif thin as I don't put much stock in celebrity. But, I actually sympathize with you. Most people who see me, and then hear me say something at lunch like I can't eat this or that I need to know the calories, etc., kinda freak out and are uber judgemental because I look like I am in shape. In fact, I am in shape. Every part of my body is pretty ripped and lean, except the excess belly fat. This belly fat by the way hides really well under normal clothing, especially work clothes, so I hear all the crap from people too and it just goes in one ear and out the other. Hell I ate nearly 3000 calories yesterday and was still under my goal, and save for a few glasses of wine last night (yes I counted the calories) my diet is super nutritious.
All that being said, I think what people are posting, including me, is concern not criticism. Plus, i think you have been a little vague. You've posted some numbers but what people really want to know is how tall are you and how many calories are you eating. That would fill in some blanks. You came here asking for advice so be prepared to get it, and if your questions are lacking key information that advice will run the gamut.My BMI now is 21.8. I've had a BMI of 19.5 before and loved it. That was quite recent actually (bonus weightloss due to illness... but sadly it came back when I was better and eating again) That's how I know that I won't look underweight or whatever, because I've been 5kgs off my goal already. You know what bothers me? The fact that celebrities can get down to stupid weights and everyone praises them and wants to know how they did it, but the second a 'normal' person wants to then they have a problem. Double standards anyone?
This is not meant to insult anyone who has replied to me, I love the fact that people have replied so fast and I appreciate all responses This is just an observation on society in general 0 -
When I started at MFP I was already losing weight and working out to train for a marathon. I was countng calories in my head etc and doing pretty well. One thing I found, however is that I felt like I obsessed more over choices before I could see them all on paper etc. If I were to have eaten some Halloween candy before MFP I would give myself a mental beating and probably walk my basement stairs a zillion times as a means of "exercise purging" Now that I have such a clear picture of what I have eaten and what I have burned I can sometimes eat that reese without guilt. I can see how healthful or not the rest of my day has been, the benefits of my exercise etc and if the snack fits in the cals I eat it and enjoy it without guilt instead of hating myself for enjoying it.
I have lived in that obsessive place before about my weight and been quite unhealthy in my past. MFP is helping keep me accountable as well because I feel like I can make sure I am eating enough, especially during training season. If I am more than 150 cals under my goal for the day I eat something. I try to make sure I am right on target. I was starting to get concerned that I was dropping to much weight (5' and 111 lbs/50.5 kg) I looked fit as hell and tiny but at the end of the day when I was tired, my coloring and my face just looked sickly. Since the marathon I am still working out and running long distances but my long runs are a bit shorter I have maintained that 111-113 lbs. I still look fit as hell and tiny but my body is adjusting to it and I don't look sickly anymore. I am content here but don't want to get smaller as need to be healthy first before skinny.
I would give yourself some time maintaining where you are at. Use MFP as a tool. If in a month's time you still want to drop some more kg's I would say start with 5 kg and maintain that for a while. If you can maintain that weight with work but not too much sacrifice then consider the next 5 kg If maintaining any weight requires CONSTANT diligence with no room for a snack or constant hunger then it is too much.0 -
It's obcessive to diet. You have to work hard at it and try all day. So, of course you have to obcess. It's called trying, not obcessing.
Once you reach a healthy weight, It's time to try and switch to obcessing over how to keep loosing and what your eating to having a life. And a lifestyle. Not thinking about food and loosing constantly, but thinking about living and keeping healthy.
Food should be enjoyed, life should be enjoyed, and it's the living life, not the food and exercise, that are the focus after you succeed in getting healthier. That's a tricky transition! Better I learn to love living than spending the entire rest of my life trying to get and stay thin. The process takes focus, but the result should be living healthier, and living life.0 -
How tall are you? 103lbs is very small for anyone who is not really short.
Anorexics think that they don't look too small for their frame. (I'm not calling you this, I am just saying. What you see or think may not be what others see.)
My only concern with this is that in your posts and in your profile (you mention wanting to be so thin you don't leave a shadow) you focus seems to be on how small you can get or how small you can look. I don't see you saying you want to eat healthy so that you can have endurance, more energy etc. This is all part of being healthy overall, and what SIZE you are is really only part of the story.
Don't be defensive with the person who is saying this to you. There is a good chance that they are NOT jealous, but have your best interest in mind and may be concerned for your health.
I would suggest, if you are worried, if you are asking are you obsessed, that the good chance is the answer is yes. Now, decide if it is a healthy or unhealthy obsession and see how you feel if you back off. If you stop logging for say a week, do you get anxious, depressed - this could be a very important answer.
Also, I encourage you to talk to a neutral third party. Can you see a nutritionist or a doctor? Just one appointment for a consult to get another outside opinion?
Be very careful. Be realistic. Be healthy. Know that this whole thing is not about being a certain size or weight.0 -
You know what bothers me? The fact that celebrities can get down to stupid weights and everyone praises them and wants to know how they did it, but the second a 'normal' person wants to then they have a problem. Double standards anyone?
I don't agree with anyone getting down to a "stupid weight"0
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