How do you know it is time to settle down?

My inbox is there if you need, friend .

I knew before, but things got in the way and I'm questioning everything now.
Hope that's not the case for you.

When the thought of being without the person is unimaginable...

When you can envision your life 20, 30 or 40 years down the road and you can see that person sharing that future with you.

When you can envision your life 20, 30 or 40 years down the road and you can see that person sharing that future with you.

Pretty much this.

Although people do change in those time spans as well & sometimes grow in different directions but that is just life.

I want to settle down because I like feeling settled. I miss absolutely everything about my marriage, except my husband. I miss having a best friend, someone to always talk to, someone to wake up to, to got to bed with, to come home to, to share my day with, good and bad. I loved the feeling of being the other half of a whole, being someone else's whole world, and he mine.

Too bad the one I had turned out to be a liar and a cheater. But I really do love being married, and hate dating. But I think I'll be dating for a LONG time, because there's been no one I envision spending the rest of my life with. And I do want that, the whole forever thing, next time I fall in love.

The title says it all:

How do you know it is time to settle down?

Won't go into any more deep emotional facts, just that question, so people won't be like "Too Long Didn't Read"

You know. if the thought of not being with the other person is painful, and you can't imagine that person not being a part of your life. You should be comfortable with each other and want to make each other happy. Making the relationship work doesn't feel like work because you want to do it.

I knew it was time when even when things were hard it was still easy to be with my husband. I kew that we would work things throuh together and that my life was better with him in it.

I want to settle down because I like feeling settled. I miss absolutely everything about my marriage, except my husband. I miss having a best friend, someone to always talk to, someone to wake up to, to got to bed with, to come home to, to share my day with, good and bad. I loved the feeling of being the other half of a whole, being someone else's whole world, and he mine.

Too bad the one I had turned out to be a liar and a cheater. But I really do love being married, and hate dating. But I think I'll be dating for a LONG time, because there's been no one I envision spending the rest of my life with. And I do want that, the whole forever thing, next time I fall in love.

This. x1,000,000

Could not have said it any better myself.

I didn't know it was time, honestly. But I knew I felt differently about my husband, than all the others that came before him and felt like if I was going to make it work with anyone, it would be him. I was 27 at the time and lived been on my own enough and been in enough "this isn't going to work" relationships to know what I needed and what I didn't. Husband fit those requirements, so I jumped.

Every poster above me assumed you can only answer that question if you are already in a relationship. I think that is a fallacy. I think you can know it is time to settle without already being in a relationship, and you can date with that in mind. It's a more comprehensive dating approach than just looking for someone good in the moment.

If you are tired of the dating scene, that's a good reason to settle down.

If you have a good relationship and multifaceted attraction that will stand the test of time, that's a good reason to settle down.

I didn't know it was time, honestly. But I knew I felt differently about my husband, than all the others that came before him and felt like if I was going to make it work with anyone, it would be him. I was 27 at the time and lived been on my own enough and been in enough "this isn't going to work" relationships to know what I needed and what I didn't. Husband fit those requirements, so I jumped.

Didn't you mention in another thread that you got pregnant and then decided to get married? I'm sure this had to have at least a little influence in your decision to settle down.

Except that probably really isn't a very good reason to settle down... any two people can make a baby, that doesn't mean they will be good together in a long-term relationship. Relationships where people stay together because they think they should don't usually last all that long.

I didn't know it was time, honestly. But I knew I felt differently about my husband, than all the others that came before him and felt like if I was going to make it work with anyone, it would be him. I was 27 at the time and lived been on my own enough and been in enough "this isn't going to work" relationships to know what I needed and what I didn't. Husband fit those requirements, so I jumped.

Didn't you mention in another thread that you got pregnant and then decided to get married? I'm sure this had to have at least a little influence in your decision to settle down.

I was pregnant, but luckily for me, I own my own business and have several degrees so taking care of myself and my daughter without help from some dude was pretty viable option. Like if I'd gotten really drunk and had sex with somebody similar to you, there would have been no need to settle down into a life a misery.

Wow, that was pretty harsh. Do you know that guy? Kind of making an assumption there that he would be a bad fit...... and lots of people get pregnant without getting drunk. And lots of people who have degrees are looking for work. That's not a guarantee that you can support yourself.

I didn't know it was time, honestly. But I knew I felt differently about my husband, than all the others that came before him and felt like if I was going to make it work with anyone, it would be him. I was 27 at the time and lived been on my own enough and been in enough "this isn't going to work" relationships to know what I needed and what I didn't. Husband fit those requirements, so I jumped.

Didn't you mention in another thread that you got pregnant and then decided to get married? I'm sure this had to have at least a little influence in your decision to settle down.

Except that probably really isn't a very good reason to settle down... any two people can make a baby, that doesn't mean they will be good together in a long-term relationship. Relationships where people stay together because they think they should don't usually last all that long.

Many people do end up either married or stay together because of a pregnancy. It's not a great reason to stay with someone but single parent households are not ideal circumstances for child rearing. And there are plenty of ill fitting people who get together and pregnancy occurs.

I didn't know it was time, honestly. But I knew I felt differently about my husband, than all the others that came before him and felt like if I was going to make it work with anyone, it would be him. I was 27 at the time and lived been on my own enough and been in enough "this isn't going to work" relationships to know what I needed and what I didn't. Husband fit those requirements, so I jumped.

Didn't you mention in another thread that you got pregnant and then decided to get married? I'm sure this had to have at least a little influence in your decision to settle down.

I was pregnant, but luckily for me, I own my own business and have several degrees so taking care of myself and my daughter without help from some dude was pretty viable option. Like if I'd gotten really drunk and had sex with somebody similar to you, there would have been no need to settle down into a life a misery.

I'm not doubting that you have numerous undergraduate and graduate degrees (and even a J.D. and M.D.) from top tier schools, you're just so well spoken and intelligent in all your posts.

But let's be honest, someone like me would never sleep with you.

Which is the highest complement you could possibly give me, truly.

I too have actually been wondering that lately too BUT I'm only 22 so I don't think I should be worrying about it right now :P Especially since I've yet to find the right one, they say you will know when you do so I'm not really sure...

I don't think it matters how old you are, it's just a matter of figuring out what's right for you. I got married when I was 17 and will celebrate my 24th wedding anniversary this year. My son is 23 and has been married for a year and a half. My SIL didn't get married until she was nearly 30. Everyone is different, and you never know when you'll find the right person.