Stop Making Excuses, Start Making Choices

I am posting an old blog of mine here for the community. Changing my mindset in this way has helped me immensely and it may help you too. I re-read it this morning because I needed to be reminded that I am the only person in control of my actions. I have to make the right choices.

Please note, injury, illness, and disability do not fall under the umbrella of excuses.


Stop Making Excuses, Start Making Choices (Edit Post)
Posted on 1/28/2013 by Desterknee



In order to make better choices, we first have to realize that with everything we do, we make a choice. There are so few, very extreme, circumstances in which we are forced to do something against our will. You got up to go to work today? You made a choice to do so. You fed your children breakfast? You made a choice to do so. You took a shower this morning? You made a choice to do so. We've conditioned ourselves to think these are things we have to do, and in a way they are, but we still have the choice not to do them.

There is an undeniable power in one's mindset. Mindset changes everything. The language of excuses implies a powerlessness in the speaker.

"I can't do this."
"I couldn't do that."
"X stopped me from doing this."
"Y won't let me do that."

Do you want to be powerless or do you want to be in control of what happens in your life? Change your mindset. Change your language. Who sounds more in control?

Person A: "I couldn't work out because I had to visit my relative in the hospital."

or

Person B: "I decided visiting my sick relative was more important than today's work out."

Both people are doing the same thing: skipping a workout in favor of visiting a sick relative. However, their mindset about the situation is completely different. You may say it's just semantics, you may say it makes no difference but there is a huge difference. It's the language of someone who is consciously making decisions versus a victim of circumstance. Let's look at a few more examples:


Person A: "I had to get fast food for the kids last night because after karate practice we were all so tired and I had to get the kids to bed."

Person B: "I chose to get fast food last night because I decided that convenience and getting the kids to bed on time was more important than a home cooked meal."


Person A: "I can't work out tonight because I have to spend time with my wife/husband/GF/BF since we don't get much time together."

Person B: "I decided that caring for my relationship takes priority over my work out tonight."


Person A: "I can't join a gym because I am too scared of people." <

---

(totally me, BTW)

Person B: "I am choosing to stay in my emotional comfort zone because I've decided it's not a priority to challenge myself in ways that are not physical."


Person A: "I can't 'eat healthy' because it's too expensive."

Person B: "I've decided not to change my eating habits because I don't want to put the time or effort in researching how to do it in an affordable way."


I hope you see where I am going with this. Person A is going to have a harder time making better choices because Person A does not feel that he is making choices at all. Person B on the other hand understands that he is always making choices and is able to better assess the situation at hand, and see where his priorities lie by looking at the choices he's made. Person A will probably be quicker to complain about his lack of progress. Person B may also complain but understands that it's in his power to change the decisions he is making. Things always happen to Person A. Person B makes things happen by his choices. Like I said, mindset changes everything.

Once we start recognizing that we have a choice in everything we do, we can start changing our choices. We are better equipped to analyze our situations.

"I couldn't work out tonight, the season finale of my favorite show was on."
"I decided that a television show has priority over my body."

Now that we've changed the language we can better analyze the situation: Is that TV show really more important than taking care of my body? How important is it to watch this show as it airs? What will be more easy, watching the re-run or fitting in a make-up work out where there isn't usually one?

We also have to remember to test ourselves and make sure we are being honest about how we view our choices. I'll use a real example I've dealt with lately. I'm not a tidy person, and neither is my boyfriend, so cleaning would sometimes interfere with my ability to work out.

So at first it was:

"I can't work out tonight because I have to clean."

Then it became:

"I've decided that it's a higher priority to clean my home than to improve my body."

I was happy thinking I wasn't making excuses. Then came a day when I was badly in need of a work out, and my apartment was a freaking mess. This time I chose to work out because my brain desperately needed it. So I didn't clean and I worked out. Then, I cleaned after the work out. As it turns out, I had been lying to myself the whole time when I thought I had to choose between the two. When I chose to clean first, by the time I was done I had no energy for working out. After working out I had extra energy to clean and did an overall better job of cleaning. The point of this anecdote is to show that sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking we have to choose at all. Now I won't ever think I have to choose between the two. I debunked my own excuse. I WIN.

This is how we come to make better choices by changing our mindset.

Own your actions. Own your choices. Own your body.