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    How do you know it is time to settle down?

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    • Posts: 7,001 Member
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      You may be asking a little too much of marriage. Not a lot too much, but one's partner is only one's whole world when one's world is too small.

      nearly 26 years together prompts me to tell you that this is not true. My hubs and I are each other's whole world. We still make time for friends and family but since those people have their own lives, we can't be all about them. Our children are out in the world, making their own way and involved in their own relationships. We recently moved for new jobs and knew no one and the strength of our relationship certainly made it easier to be in a new place and be happy.
    • Posts: 3,945 Member
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      You may be asking a little too much of marriage. Not a lot too much, but one's partner is only one's whole world when one's world is too small.

      Well, it's how I felt for a very long time. I'd like to feel it again some day.
    • Posts: 1,146 Member
      When their credit score is higher than yours
    • Posts: 328 Member
      If you ask it, the time hasn't come

      qft

      when you think they're the most exquisite, beautiful person in the world, when the thought of being without them gives you a queasy, uneasy, sick feeling. when they bring you soup when you're sick. when you bring THEM soup when they're sick. when you want to lock that **** down.

      its a great feeling.
    • Posts: 328 Member
      show previous quotes

      Well, it's how I felt for a very long time. I'd like to feel it again some day.

      i agree with her. it doesnt mean her world is too small. it means she was in love. and that is better than a wide open expanded worldliness
    • Posts: 302 Member
      If you ask it, the time hasn't come

      What the frog said.
    • Posts: 1,216 Member
      I think that’s something that’s totally unique to an individual.

      I think most people are caught up in this idea that there are these life stages that everyone goes through, including getting married and having kids. I don’t buy that. I don’t think there is one path in life and I don’t think there is one type of relationship or family to have.

      At this time, I can’t see myself “settling down”. Sure, I enjoy romance and sex but I don’t believe we have to have a life partner to have those things. There are other things that are at the top of my priority list and I see romantic and sexual partners as something that comes and goes. I put no effort into it.
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    • Posts: 470 Member
      When you have fantasies about that person all the time instead of some celebrity.
      When all you think about is them.
      When you can't imagine your life without them in it.
      When you find that person who you could say anything to and they wouldn't judge you only love you more for being honest.
    • Posts: 855 Member
      It's interesting that everyone assumes "settle down" = "getting married".

      I know plenty of people I'd say have "settled down" but who aren't married (or permanently partnered up) on the other hand even if I do one day marry I hope it won't involve "settling down".
    • Posts: 2,270 Member
      When the cops show up, it's time to settle down now.

      If you mean marriage, it's up to you. I didn't feel even 1 inkling of regret or hesitation marrying my husband. I knew he was what I wanted, and the time was right. I married at 24. I'm 36.5 and still enjoying every minute I have with my honey.

      There's no way to tell when the time will be right for someone else, it's a very very personal decision you come to, when you decide to spend the rest of your life with someone you treasure. For some, it happens when you're 16. For others, it may not happen until you're 56 (like it did for my grandma). Stil for others, it may never happen.
    • Posts: 1,025 Member
      When their credit score is higher than yours

      :heart: :heart: :heart:
    • Posts: 267 Member
      I was told by someone (after I was married) that you should marry the person you can't live without not the person you can live with. Wish I was told that before I got married.
    • Posts: 6,309 Member
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      He will? I think he did in his own way.
    • Posts: 1,166 Member
      I think it differs from person to person. I think a person who is an over thinker may know in a different way than some one who just rolls with the waves.

      For me, it was the person at the beginning of our relationship I didn't see it blossoming further than "fun while it lasted". That transformed into "dang, he is pretty awesome", to "ah dang I love this dude" all the way to " I am going to marry this guy and torture him for the rest of his life".

      I think the moment I realized that he was the one to settle down with was when I realized that no matter how much he pisses me off or no matter how much I wanted to shoot him in the foot, I was willing to work through it. That I was willing to compromise, and so was he, on certain things to take our relationship further and better it. I didn't know what exactly my future held, but I could see him in mine, getting married, having children, living every moment together like it was our last.
    • Posts: 6,309 Member
      wow quite a few beautiful answers! thank you very much.

      The thing is "I just know" I want him for the rest of my life and he has said the same thing, we talk about growing old together and some other romantic silly stuff that come with time, even children which turn to be a joke because none of us like to change diapers...

      I just ask because I was the type of guy who used to say would be single until his mid 30s and just **** whomever I wanted, but it all changed some time ago, and now that I have my partner I just picture Us in every situation (And position for those sexaholics out there).
    • Posts: 1,025 Member
      wow quite a few beautiful answers! thank you very much.

      The thing is "I just know" I want him for the rest of my life and he has said the same thing, we talk about growing old together and some other romantic silly stuff that come with time, even children which turn to be a joke because none of us like to change diapers...

      I just ask because I was the type of guy who used to say would be single until his mid 30s and just **** whomever I wanted, but it all changed some time ago, and now that I have my partner I just picture Us in every situation (And position for those sexaholics out there).

      Awww, that is super sweet! Are you going to do anything about it?
    • Posts: 267 Member
      wow quite a few beautiful answers! thank you very much.

      The thing is "I just know" I want him for the rest of my life and he has said the same thing, we talk about growing old together and some other romantic silly stuff that come with time, even children which turn to be a joke because none of us like to change diapers...

      I just ask because I was the type of guy who used to say would be single until his mid 30s and just **** whomever I wanted, but it all changed some time ago, and now that I have my partner I just picture Us in every situation (And position for those sexaholics out there).

      Thank you for your honesty and frankness. We need more of that. My son (25) is gay and has a wonderful partner unfortunately for them marriage isn't possible where we live. Soooo sad.
    • Posts: 6,309 Member
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      Thank you for your honesty and frankness. We need more of that. My son (25) is gay and has a wonderful partner unfortunately for them marriage isn't possible where we live. Soooo sad.

      Here we are allowed to have a "Civil Partnership" which pretty much is "the same" [rights are almost 90% the same, we are not allowed to use surrogacy though...] I would like it, I haven't asked him, because if I ask I would like to do it with a big Flashmob Musical Number (which takes time).
    • Posts: 1,216 Member
      wow quite a few beautiful answers! thank you very much.

      The thing is "I just know" I want him for the rest of my life and he has said the same thing, we talk about growing old together and some other romantic silly stuff that come with time, even children which turn to be a joke because none of us like to change diapers...

      I just ask because I was the type of guy who used to say would be single until his mid 30s and just **** whomever I wanted, but it all changed some time ago, and now that I have my partner I just picture Us in every situation (And position for those sexaholics out there).

      I guess there can be people that come along that totally flip your direction around :smile:
    • Posts: 2,518 Member
      It's interesting that everyone assumes "settle down" = "getting married".

      I know plenty of people I'd say have "settled down" but who aren't married (or permanently partnered up) on the other hand even if I do one day marry I hope it won't involve "settling down".

      Settling down doesn't equal settling.
    • Posts: 332 Member
      take it from someone who never thought they would get married or have kids.....when you find someone worth it, you will do it......the best way to put it is you don't know until you know

      ^^THIS!

      Never ever thought I would get married again. We talked on our first date about how we were never getting married again, lol. He proposed 3 months later. . . you just know!!
    • Posts: 6,309 Member
      show previous quotes

      ^^THIS!

      Never ever thought I would get married again. We talked on our first date about how we were never getting married again, lol. He proposed 3 months later. . . you just know!!
      so it is not too soon if we have been together 2 months? great! whomever may see us would say we have been together for years
    • Posts: 5,214 Member
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      so it is not too soon if we have been together 2 months? great! whomever may see us would say we have been together for years

      I married my husband after knowing him 6 months. I never thought I'd want to be married or have children. I got pregnant unexpectedly and we were like "let's do this". I wasn't 100% sure, but I don't think I would have been 100% with anyone. We've been married 5 years now and are pretty awesome together.
    • Posts: 332 Member
      You work with your own timeline. I dropped the big L word at 3 weeks, about a month in to it, I knew I would spend the rest of my life with him. . . the proposal came after about 2 months of him dropping hints that he was "making plans". Everyone thought we were crazy, but when you know you know. We had both been with the wrong people before.

      Do not let anyone tell you that its too soon, or your are rushing it. When you know, you know. When its meant to be forever, you can start forever right now!

      We have waited 18 month to get married (because even my 15 yr old said we were rushing it), but I would have married him the next day, we are 6 weeks away, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.
    • Posts: 7,001 Member
      wow quite a few beautiful answers! thank you very much.

      The thing is "I just know" I want him for the rest of my life and he has said the same thing, we talk about growing old together and some other romantic silly stuff that come with time, even children which turn to be a joke because none of us like to change diapers...

      I just ask because I was the type of guy who used to say would be single until his mid 30s and just **** whomever I wanted, but it all changed some time ago, and now that I have my partner I just picture Us in every situation (And position for those sexaholics out there).

      That's pretty great. Sounds like you found the one. And hey, if you don't wanna change diapers, you can adopt a slightly older child who is already potty trained! My son and his bf have talked about having kids and are debating whether to try to have a biological or adopt. Years in the future for now, so they have time to figure it out.
    • Posts: 6,309 Member
      You work with your own timeline. I dropped the big L word at 3 weeks, about a month in to it, I knew I would spend the rest of my life with him. . . the proposal came after about 2 months of him dropping hints that he was "making plans". Everyone thought we were crazy, but when you know you know. We had both been with the wrong people before.

      Do not let anyone tell you that its too soon, or your are rushing it. When you know, you know. When its meant to be forever, you can start forever right now!

      We have waited 18 month to get married (because even my 15 yr old said we were rushing it), but I would have married him the next day, we are 6 weeks away, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.
      omg! so excited for you gorgeus <3 you will look amazing in that dress
    • Posts: 6,309 Member
      show previous quotes

      That's pretty great. Sounds like you found the one. And hey, if you don't wanna change diapers, you can adopt a slightly older child who is already potty trained! My son and his bf have talked about having kids and are debating whether to try to have a biological or adopt. Years in the future for now, so they have time to figure it out.
      Oh yeah if we have babies they come in 10 years =) maybe then it will be possible to have an engineered baby with both or DNA's if not, we would ask his sister for an egg.
    • Posts: 7,001 Member
      show previous quotes
      Oh yeah if we have babies they come in 10 years =) maybe then it will be possible to have an engineered baby with both or DNA's if not, we would ask his sister for an egg.

      :flowerforyou: good idea!
    • Posts: 221 Member
      You don't know.... you live & learn and just go with what you want
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