My family eating schedule sucks for me
Francl27
Posts: 26,371 Member
Situation - I'm a stay at home mom. I typically wake up early (anytime between 5am and 7am) and go to bed early (9-10pm). Typically I'm hungry by 7am so I have an early breakfast, then an early lunch (often 11.30am or earlier, with sometimes a snack in between after my workout)... I pretty much eat most of my calories in the morning.
Unfortunately hubby doesn't get home until 6pm, sometimes even later (he never tells me). And there's just no way most days that I can wait until 6.30pm to have dinner. I'm totally fine if I have dinner at 5pm (and typically, less than 300 calories worth) and usually don't get hungry after (except those days, you know). I don't always have many calories left for a snack in the afternoon either.
So I don't really know what to do. I'd like us all to eat together, but frankly it's tough. The kids are often hungry by 5.30pm too, and hubby is not making any effort to go to work earlier in the morning so he can go home earlier at night (it's flexible, he could totally do it, but he stays up until 1-2am, then sleeps in until 8am, then doesn't leave for work until 10am sometimes).
Should I just go with 'sorry dude, you're on your own'' and forget family time so I don't have to starve? I've been trying to have my lunch later and leave calories for a snack in the afternoon but mostly been failing miserably.
Unfortunately hubby doesn't get home until 6pm, sometimes even later (he never tells me). And there's just no way most days that I can wait until 6.30pm to have dinner. I'm totally fine if I have dinner at 5pm (and typically, less than 300 calories worth) and usually don't get hungry after (except those days, you know). I don't always have many calories left for a snack in the afternoon either.
So I don't really know what to do. I'd like us all to eat together, but frankly it's tough. The kids are often hungry by 5.30pm too, and hubby is not making any effort to go to work earlier in the morning so he can go home earlier at night (it's flexible, he could totally do it, but he stays up until 1-2am, then sleeps in until 8am, then doesn't leave for work until 10am sometimes).
Should I just go with 'sorry dude, you're on your own'' and forget family time so I don't have to starve? I've been trying to have my lunch later and leave calories for a snack in the afternoon but mostly been failing miserably.
0
Replies
-
Might sound over simplistic but... If It were my bf I'd say, that if he wants to eat with the family (which I would make sure he understood that is what I would STRONGLY prefer) that he needs to be home by at the latest 5:30, otherwise you'll keep a plate in the fridge for him to heat up when he get home.
I might also mention why it's important to me and let him know how his sleeping/work schedule, (especially since he has control over it) makes you feel that he doesn't care about your family's needs for a steady dinner time.0 -
Similar problem since my hubby's schedule can fluctuate. As stated before the family meal time should be consistent. If he misses family time he will make provisions to be there. We don't always eat together during the week but always have family dinner on the weekends.0
-
Is there a way you could move your family meal to the morning? Then you and the kids could eat at 5:30 pm and your husband could eat when he gets home without missing out on that family time. It's a lot easier to control what happens before you go to work then when you get home.0
-
Since it sounds like he's choosing to be home late instead of coming home earlier when it's a simple change on his part, I'd just eat when you and the kids are hungry. My dad did the same thing when I was a kid.0
-
Eat dinner when it is convenient for you and the kids. Family time does not have to revolve around the dinner table. You could always do something else as a family when your husband does get home - play games, read bedtime stories....anything really.
My kids eat around 5:30pm. I eat at 7pm, and my husband eats at 8pm. It doesn't have a negative impact on our relationship. We make it work.0 -
Is there a way you could move your family meal to the morning? Then you and the kids could eat at 5:30 pm and your husband could eat when he gets home without missing out on that family time. It's a lot easier to control what happens before you go to work then when you get home.
Haha no. I have to wake him up before I take the kids to school.0 -
Meh. Depends on why he is getting home late. Does he have control of his schedule or is he at somebody else's mercy?0
-
These pesky men just don't seem to do what their women tell them to do . . .
If you can't wait until 6:00 for dinner then there's something just as wrong with you as there is with your husband staying up late. Grow up and learn to discuss your issues with your spouse and find a compromise.0 -
Make dinner and eat when you're hungry. Put his in the fridge and have him heat it up when he gets home. Sit with him at the table (or wherever he eats) when he gets home and talk about his day.0
-
Does dinner have to be your family time? Feed your kids and yourself when you get hungry - just save him a portion. Why does eating need to be family time? Maybe try something else that can be done with you, husband, and kids before their bedtime.0
-
These pesky men just don't seem to do what their women tell them to do . . .
If you can't wait until 6:00 for dinner then there's something just as wrong with you as there is with your husband staying up late. Grow up and learn to discuss your issues with your spouse and find a compromise.
This is overly simplistic. I don't wait until 6:00 for dinner most nights either and there isn't anything wrong with me at all. I agree that OP needs to find a compromise with her spouse.
However, this: "hubby is not making any effort to go to work earlier in the morning so he can go home earlier at night (it's flexible, he could totally do it, but he stays up until 1-2am, then sleeps in until 8am, then doesn't leave for work until 10am sometimes)" is a load of crap. Either (A) he gets to work earlier or (B) he misses dinner with the family. Quit enabling him.0 -
I like the idea of a family meal in the AM if that is possible.
Normally...and this will sound so horribly dated and possibly even sexist...I'd say a SAHP should work around the WOHP's schedule if they can.
I'd also talk to your husband about this.
I eat at roughly the same times as you do...7 am, 11:30 am, 5:30 pm so I understand how difficult it can be to wait til 6:30 and later for dinner. That would throw me off, too, especially if it was a frequent thing.
Couples/families sometimes have to work around this stuff. My husband and I were separated Mon-Thurs by circumstances for the past year and he moved in full-time at the beginning of December. I was used to having ALL of my "leftover" calories around 5:15-5:45 pm for dinner. He was used to eating dinner around that time and then having a sizable evening snack. So I tried to go with that, and it was a wreck. I didn't feel satisfied at dinner and the evening snack seemed "off" as well, or like I was eating when I wasn't even hungry. Now I have extra stuff at dinner, a treat or a little more of the entrée or whatever...and don't snack later. Sometimes he does, other times not. You have to do what really works for you, as I see it.0 -
Meh. Depends on why he is getting home late. Does he have control of his schedule or is he at somebody else's mercy?
True.0 -
These pesky men just don't seem to do what their women tell them to do . . .
If you can't wait until 6:00 for dinner then there's something just as wrong with you as there is with your husband staying up late. Grow up and learn to discuss your issues with your spouse and find a compromise.
This is overly simplistic. I don't wait until 6:00 for dinner most nights either and there isn't anything wrong with me at all. I agree that OP needs to find a compromise with her spouse.
However, this: "hubby is not making any effort to go to work earlier in the morning so he can go home earlier at night (it's flexible, he could totally do it, but he stays up until 1-2am, then sleeps in until 8am, then doesn't leave for work until 10am sometimes)" is a load of crap. Either (A) he gets to work earlier or (B) he misses dinner with the family. Quit enabling him.
I'm pretty damn sure that there are two sides to this story, and 30 minutes isn't exactly a long time. I said "just as wrong" but not sure you got that . . .0 -
Have you ever tried intermittent fasting. Not the crazy 24 hour fast either before anyone goes crazy. I myself like having calories at the end of the evening instead of early. I drink water all morning and eat my first meal at noon. I eat all my calories between 12pm-8:30pm. Then I fast till noon the next day. That is a typical 16 hour daily fast. For women it is recommended that they don't fast for more than 14 hours. You could hold off till 10am and have your first meal and go from there. Now you have calories to eat later. Just a thought.0
-
I think you just need to discuss it with your HUSBAND and not the Internet.
Good luck! :flowerforyou:0 -
These pesky men just don't seem to do what their women tell them to do . . .
If you can't wait until 6:00 for dinner then there's something just as wrong with you as there is with your husband staying up late. Grow up and learn to discuss your issues with your spouse and find a compromise.
This is overly simplistic. I don't wait until 6:00 for dinner most nights either and there isn't anything wrong with me at all. I agree that OP needs to find a compromise with her spouse.
However, this: "hubby is not making any effort to go to work earlier in the morning so he can go home earlier at night (it's flexible, he could totally do it, but he stays up until 1-2am, then sleeps in until 8am, then doesn't leave for work until 10am sometimes)" is a load of crap. Either (A) he gets to work earlier or (B) he misses dinner with the family. Quit enabling him.
I'm pretty damn sure that there are two sides to this story, and 30 minutes isn't exactly a long time. I said "just as wrong" but not sure you got that . . .
There are two sides to every story. And yeah, I got that. Or did you not read the rest of post where I said her husband's lack of effort is crap? It's ok. Sound out the big words, chief.0 -
I'm starving in the morning. That's why I eat most of my calories then. Maybe if I was eating at maintenance I could last longer (I used to skip breakfast when I was obese, but obviously I was eating way more), but right now I can't see it happening. I just feel weak and dizzy if I don't eat something, especially as I work out in the morning and I need to eat something before or it doesn't work. Typically I wait until I'm hungry to eat anyway, but it's harder when I'm up too early (which happens a lot when you're in bed by 9.30pm).
I should probably have mentioned that he couldn't care less if we don't all eat together though. Plus half the time he eats all afternoon and isn't even hungry at 6pm. And it's not just 30 minutes, as I said, I'm usually hungry by 5pm... I could compromise 5.30pm but later and I get hangry.
So yeah... I'll just make dinner for us I think.0 -
5 or 5:30 is pretty early for dinner. How about setting a strict 6pm dinner time? If he's not home, his will be cold. Have a snack if you are hungry.0
-
Just break up.0
-
These pesky men just don't seem to do what their women tell them to do . . .
If you can't wait until 6:00 for dinner then there's something just as wrong with you as there is with your husband staying up late. Grow up and learn to discuss your issues with your spouse and find a compromise.
This is overly simplistic. I don't wait until 6:00 for dinner most nights either and there isn't anything wrong with me at all. I agree that OP needs to find a compromise with her spouse.
However, this: "hubby is not making any effort to go to work earlier in the morning so he can go home earlier at night (it's flexible, he could totally do it, but he stays up until 1-2am, then sleeps in until 8am, then doesn't leave for work until 10am sometimes)" is a load of crap. Either (A) he gets to work earlier or (B) he misses dinner with the family. Quit enabling him.
I'm pretty damn sure that there are two sides to this story, and 30 minutes isn't exactly a long time. I said "just as wrong" but not sure you got that . . .
There are two sides to every story. And yeah, I got that. Or did you not read the rest of post where I said her husband's lack of effort is crap? It's ok. Sound out the big words, chief.
Real jobs don't come in pretty packages where people can just leave when they want to have family dinner a whole 30 minutes earlier on a wife's arbitrary eating schedule.
OP, eat a couple carrots or something while you wait for dinner time. And teach your kids to respect their father's job that keeps him from coming home before 6. Make dinner time 6 pm, build some patience in yourself and your kids, and if he has to work later than that, discuss it with him that his dinner will be served heated up when he gets home. Good lord, even waiting until 6:30 isn't going to starve anyone.0 -
5 or 5:30 is pretty early for dinner. How about setting a strict 6pm dinner time? If he's not home, his will be cold. Have a snack if you are hungry.
Then I usually don't have enough calories for dinner, lol.0 -
These pesky men just don't seem to do what their women tell them to do . . .
If you can't wait until 6:00 for dinner then there's something just as wrong with you as there is with your husband staying up late. Grow up and learn to discuss your issues with your spouse and find a compromise.
This is overly simplistic. I don't wait until 6:00 for dinner most nights either and there isn't anything wrong with me at all. I agree that OP needs to find a compromise with her spouse.
However, this: "hubby is not making any effort to go to work earlier in the morning so he can go home earlier at night (it's flexible, he could totally do it, but he stays up until 1-2am, then sleeps in until 8am, then doesn't leave for work until 10am sometimes)" is a load of crap. Either (A) he gets to work earlier or (B) he misses dinner with the family. Quit enabling him.
I'm pretty damn sure that there are two sides to this story, and 30 minutes isn't exactly a long time. I said "just as wrong" but not sure you got that . . .
There are two sides to every story. And yeah, I got that. Or did you not read the rest of post where I said her husband's lack of effort is crap? It's ok. Sound out the big words, chief.
Real jobs don't come in pretty packages where people can just leave when they want to have family dinner a whole 30 minutes earlier on a wife's arbitrary eating schedule.
OP, eat a couple carrots or something while you wait for dinner time. And teach your kids to respect their father's job that keeps him from coming home before 6. Make dinner time 6 pm, build some patience in yourself and your kids, and if he has to work later than that, discuss it with him that his dinner will be served heated up when he gets home. Good lord, even waiting until 6:30 isn't going to starve anyone.
Thought I mentioned he has a flexible schedule, all that matters is that he gets his work done, doesn't matter how long it takes, when he gets to work or when he leaves.0 -
Not when you're up at 5 a.m.5 or 5:30 is pretty early for dinner.
On weekends when I sleep in, I usually don't eat anything at all until at least 3. But during the week, when my day starts between 5:30 and 6 a.m., I'm STARVING at 5 p.m.
Anyway, I say either try spreading your daytime meals out a bit more, leave room for a snack, choose foods that fill you up better and longer and wait that extra half hour or don't and don't worry about him eating with the family. He'll adjust or he won't.0 -
These pesky men just don't seem to do what their women tell them to do . . .
If you can't wait until 6:00 for dinner then there's something just as wrong with you as there is with your husband staying up late. Grow up and learn to discuss your issues with your spouse and find a compromise.
This is overly simplistic. I don't wait until 6:00 for dinner most nights either and there isn't anything wrong with me at all. I agree that OP needs to find a compromise with her spouse.
However, this: "hubby is not making any effort to go to work earlier in the morning so he can go home earlier at night (it's flexible, he could totally do it, but he stays up until 1-2am, then sleeps in until 8am, then doesn't leave for work until 10am sometimes)" is a load of crap. Either (A) he gets to work earlier or (B) he misses dinner with the family. Quit enabling him.
I'm pretty damn sure that there are two sides to this story, and 30 minutes isn't exactly a long time. I said "just as wrong" but not sure you got that . . .
There are two sides to every story. And yeah, I got that. Or did you not read the rest of post where I said her husband's lack of effort is crap? It's ok. Sound out the big words, chief.
Another poster confused by real jobs telling those of us with them about big words. Well done0 -
These pesky men just don't seem to do what their women tell them to do . . .
If you can't wait until 6:00 for dinner then there's something just as wrong with you as there is with your husband staying up late. Grow up and learn to discuss your issues with your spouse and find a compromise.
This is overly simplistic. I don't wait until 6:00 for dinner most nights either and there isn't anything wrong with me at all. I agree that OP needs to find a compromise with her spouse.
However, this: "hubby is not making any effort to go to work earlier in the morning so he can go home earlier at night (it's flexible, he could totally do it, but he stays up until 1-2am, then sleeps in until 8am, then doesn't leave for work until 10am sometimes)" is a load of crap. Either (A) he gets to work earlier or (B) he misses dinner with the family. Quit enabling him.
I'm pretty damn sure that there are two sides to this story, and 30 minutes isn't exactly a long time. I said "just as wrong" but not sure you got that . . .
There are two sides to every story. And yeah, I got that. Or did you not read the rest of post where I said her husband's lack of effort is crap? It's ok. Sound out the big words, chief.
Real jobs don't come in pretty packages where people can just leave when they want to have family dinner a whole 30 minutes earlier on a wife's arbitrary eating schedule.
OP, eat a couple carrots or something while you wait for dinner time. And teach your kids to respect their father's job that keeps him from coming home before 6. Make dinner time 6 pm, build some patience in yourself and your kids, and if he has to work later than that, discuss it with him that his dinner will be served heated up when he gets home. Good lord, even waiting until 6:30 isn't going to starve anyone.
Read the part I quoted from the original OP where she talks about her husband's flexible work schedule. Thanks for playing though. We have some lovely parting gifts for you.0 -
These pesky men just don't seem to do what their women tell them to do . . .
If you can't wait until 6:00 for dinner then there's something just as wrong with you as there is with your husband staying up late. Grow up and learn to discuss your issues with your spouse and find a compromise.
This is overly simplistic. I don't wait until 6:00 for dinner most nights either and there isn't anything wrong with me at all. I agree that OP needs to find a compromise with her spouse.
However, this: "hubby is not making any effort to go to work earlier in the morning so he can go home earlier at night (it's flexible, he could totally do it, but he stays up until 1-2am, then sleeps in until 8am, then doesn't leave for work until 10am sometimes)" is a load of crap. Either (A) he gets to work earlier or (B) he misses dinner with the family. Quit enabling him.
I'm pretty damn sure that there are two sides to this story, and 30 minutes isn't exactly a long time. I said "just as wrong" but not sure you got that . . .
There are two sides to every story. And yeah, I got that. Or did you not read the rest of post where I said her husband's lack of effort is crap? It's ok. Sound out the big words, chief.
Real jobs don't come in pretty packages where people can just leave when they want to have family dinner a whole 30 minutes earlier on a wife's arbitrary eating schedule.
OP, eat a couple carrots or something while you wait for dinner time. And teach your kids to respect their father's job that keeps him from coming home before 6. Make dinner time 6 pm, build some patience in yourself and your kids, and if he has to work later than that, discuss it with him that his dinner will be served heated up when he gets home. Good lord, even waiting until 6:30 isn't going to starve anyone.
Read the part I quoted from the original OP where she talks about her husband's flexible work schedule. Thanks for playing though. We have some lovely parting gifts for you.
Well, bless your heart.
She's still being arbitrary and making a big deal over 30 teensy minutes.0 -
These pesky men just don't seem to do what their women tell them to do . . .
If you can't wait until 6:00 for dinner then there's something just as wrong with you as there is with your husband staying up late. Grow up and learn to discuss your issues with your spouse and find a compromise.
This is overly simplistic. I don't wait until 6:00 for dinner most nights either and there isn't anything wrong with me at all. I agree that OP needs to find a compromise with her spouse.
However, this: "hubby is not making any effort to go to work earlier in the morning so he can go home earlier at night (it's flexible, he could totally do it, but he stays up until 1-2am, then sleeps in until 8am, then doesn't leave for work until 10am sometimes)" is a load of crap. Either (A) he gets to work earlier or (B) he misses dinner with the family. Quit enabling him.
I'm pretty damn sure that there are two sides to this story, and 30 minutes isn't exactly a long time. I said "just as wrong" but not sure you got that . . .
There are two sides to every story. And yeah, I got that. Or did you not read the rest of post where I said her husband's lack of effort is crap? It's ok. Sound out the big words, chief.
Another poster confused by real jobs telling those of us with them about big words. Well done
Lol. I have a great job and it is a real career (not just a job) for a Fortune 500 company. But thanks for assuming something you know nothing about.0 -
And his gamertag is ZombieSlayer899 right?he stays up until 1-2am, then sleeps in until 8am, then doesn't leave for work until 10am sometimes).
I think you're confusing starvation with mild hunger. Oh, and pick and choose your battles. This really doesn't sound like it's a war worth having. My 2 cents.Should I just go with 'sorry dude, you're on your own'' and forget family time so I don't have to starve?0 -
I would suggest a little compromise. You try to eat on a schedule slightly later than normal and pick foods that are filling for long periods of time (high protein, fiberous carbs, good fats) and then have dinner ready and on the table by 6:15. If he isn't home by then, you can leave his on a plate in the microwave and he can reheat if necessary when he gets home.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 427 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions