How do you know it is time to settle down?

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  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
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    When the cops show up, it's time to settle down now.

    If you mean marriage, it's up to you. I didn't feel even 1 inkling of regret or hesitation marrying my husband. I knew he was what I wanted, and the time was right. I married at 24. I'm 36.5 and still enjoying every minute I have with my honey.

    There's no way to tell when the time will be right for someone else, it's a very very personal decision you come to, when you decide to spend the rest of your life with someone you treasure. For some, it happens when you're 16. For others, it may not happen until you're 56 (like it did for my grandma). Stil for others, it may never happen.
  • hearthemelody
    hearthemelody Posts: 1,025 Member
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    When their credit score is higher than yours

    :heart: :heart: :heart:
  • tjfrisque
    tjfrisque Posts: 267 Member
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    I was told by someone (after I was married) that you should marry the person you can't live without not the person you can live with. Wish I was told that before I got married.
  • RodSuarez
    RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
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    She will tell you when.
    He will? I think he did in his own way.
  • PBsMommy
    PBsMommy Posts: 1,166 Member
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    I think it differs from person to person. I think a person who is an over thinker may know in a different way than some one who just rolls with the waves.

    For me, it was the person at the beginning of our relationship I didn't see it blossoming further than "fun while it lasted". That transformed into "dang, he is pretty awesome", to "ah dang I love this dude" all the way to " I am going to marry this guy and torture him for the rest of his life".

    I think the moment I realized that he was the one to settle down with was when I realized that no matter how much he pisses me off or no matter how much I wanted to shoot him in the foot, I was willing to work through it. That I was willing to compromise, and so was he, on certain things to take our relationship further and better it. I didn't know what exactly my future held, but I could see him in mine, getting married, having children, living every moment together like it was our last.
  • RodSuarez
    RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
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    wow quite a few beautiful answers! thank you very much.

    The thing is "I just know" I want him for the rest of my life and he has said the same thing, we talk about growing old together and some other romantic silly stuff that come with time, even children which turn to be a joke because none of us like to change diapers...

    I just ask because I was the type of guy who used to say would be single until his mid 30s and just **** whomever I wanted, but it all changed some time ago, and now that I have my partner I just picture Us in every situation (And position for those sexaholics out there).
  • hearthemelody
    hearthemelody Posts: 1,025 Member
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    wow quite a few beautiful answers! thank you very much.

    The thing is "I just know" I want him for the rest of my life and he has said the same thing, we talk about growing old together and some other romantic silly stuff that come with time, even children which turn to be a joke because none of us like to change diapers...

    I just ask because I was the type of guy who used to say would be single until his mid 30s and just **** whomever I wanted, but it all changed some time ago, and now that I have my partner I just picture Us in every situation (And position for those sexaholics out there).

    Awww, that is super sweet! Are you going to do anything about it?
  • tjfrisque
    tjfrisque Posts: 267 Member
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    wow quite a few beautiful answers! thank you very much.

    The thing is "I just know" I want him for the rest of my life and he has said the same thing, we talk about growing old together and some other romantic silly stuff that come with time, even children which turn to be a joke because none of us like to change diapers...

    I just ask because I was the type of guy who used to say would be single until his mid 30s and just **** whomever I wanted, but it all changed some time ago, and now that I have my partner I just picture Us in every situation (And position for those sexaholics out there).

    Thank you for your honesty and frankness. We need more of that. My son (25) is gay and has a wonderful partner unfortunately for them marriage isn't possible where we live. Soooo sad.
  • RodSuarez
    RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
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    wow quite a few beautiful answers! thank you very much.

    The thing is "I just know" I want him for the rest of my life and he has said the same thing, we talk about growing old together and some other romantic silly stuff that come with time, even children which turn to be a joke because none of us like to change diapers...

    I just ask because I was the type of guy who used to say would be single until his mid 30s and just **** whomever I wanted, but it all changed some time ago, and now that I have my partner I just picture Us in every situation (And position for those sexaholics out there).

    Thank you for your honesty and frankness. We need more of that. My son (25) is gay and has a wonderful partner unfortunately for them marriage isn't possible where we live. Soooo sad.

    Here we are allowed to have a "Civil Partnership" which pretty much is "the same" [rights are almost 90% the same, we are not allowed to use surrogacy though...] I would like it, I haven't asked him, because if I ask I would like to do it with a big Flashmob Musical Number (which takes time).
  • RaeLB
    RaeLB Posts: 1,216 Member
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    wow quite a few beautiful answers! thank you very much.

    The thing is "I just know" I want him for the rest of my life and he has said the same thing, we talk about growing old together and some other romantic silly stuff that come with time, even children which turn to be a joke because none of us like to change diapers...

    I just ask because I was the type of guy who used to say would be single until his mid 30s and just **** whomever I wanted, but it all changed some time ago, and now that I have my partner I just picture Us in every situation (And position for those sexaholics out there).

    I guess there can be people that come along that totally flip your direction around :smile:
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    It's interesting that everyone assumes "settle down" = "getting married".

    I know plenty of people I'd say have "settled down" but who aren't married (or permanently partnered up) on the other hand even if I do one day marry I hope it won't involve "settling down".

    Settling down doesn't equal settling.
  • mrsjones2point0
    mrsjones2point0 Posts: 332 Member
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    take it from someone who never thought they would get married or have kids.....when you find someone worth it, you will do it......the best way to put it is you don't know until you know

    ^^THIS!

    Never ever thought I would get married again. We talked on our first date about how we were never getting married again, lol. He proposed 3 months later. . . you just know!!
  • RodSuarez
    RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
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    take it from someone who never thought they would get married or have kids.....when you find someone worth it, you will do it......the best way to put it is you don't know until you know

    ^^THIS!

    Never ever thought I would get married again. We talked on our first date about how we were never getting married again, lol. He proposed 3 months later. . . you just know!!
    so it is not too soon if we have been together 2 months? great! whomever may see us would say we have been together for years
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    take it from someone who never thought they would get married or have kids.....when you find someone worth it, you will do it......the best way to put it is you don't know until you know

    ^^THIS!

    Never ever thought I would get married again. We talked on our first date about how we were never getting married again, lol. He proposed 3 months later. . . you just know!!
    so it is not too soon if we have been together 2 months? great! whomever may see us would say we have been together for years

    I married my husband after knowing him 6 months. I never thought I'd want to be married or have children. I got pregnant unexpectedly and we were like "let's do this". I wasn't 100% sure, but I don't think I would have been 100% with anyone. We've been married 5 years now and are pretty awesome together.
  • mrsjones2point0
    mrsjones2point0 Posts: 332 Member
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    You work with your own timeline. I dropped the big L word at 3 weeks, about a month in to it, I knew I would spend the rest of my life with him. . . the proposal came after about 2 months of him dropping hints that he was "making plans". Everyone thought we were crazy, but when you know you know. We had both been with the wrong people before.

    Do not let anyone tell you that its too soon, or your are rushing it. When you know, you know. When its meant to be forever, you can start forever right now!

    We have waited 18 month to get married (because even my 15 yr old said we were rushing it), but I would have married him the next day, we are 6 weeks away, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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    wow quite a few beautiful answers! thank you very much.

    The thing is "I just know" I want him for the rest of my life and he has said the same thing, we talk about growing old together and some other romantic silly stuff that come with time, even children which turn to be a joke because none of us like to change diapers...

    I just ask because I was the type of guy who used to say would be single until his mid 30s and just **** whomever I wanted, but it all changed some time ago, and now that I have my partner I just picture Us in every situation (And position for those sexaholics out there).

    That's pretty great. Sounds like you found the one. And hey, if you don't wanna change diapers, you can adopt a slightly older child who is already potty trained! My son and his bf have talked about having kids and are debating whether to try to have a biological or adopt. Years in the future for now, so they have time to figure it out.
  • RodSuarez
    RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
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    You work with your own timeline. I dropped the big L word at 3 weeks, about a month in to it, I knew I would spend the rest of my life with him. . . the proposal came after about 2 months of him dropping hints that he was "making plans". Everyone thought we were crazy, but when you know you know. We had both been with the wrong people before.

    Do not let anyone tell you that its too soon, or your are rushing it. When you know, you know. When its meant to be forever, you can start forever right now!

    We have waited 18 month to get married (because even my 15 yr old said we were rushing it), but I would have married him the next day, we are 6 weeks away, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.
    omg! so excited for you gorgeus <3 you will look amazing in that dress
  • RodSuarez
    RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
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    wow quite a few beautiful answers! thank you very much.

    The thing is "I just know" I want him for the rest of my life and he has said the same thing, we talk about growing old together and some other romantic silly stuff that come with time, even children which turn to be a joke because none of us like to change diapers...

    I just ask because I was the type of guy who used to say would be single until his mid 30s and just **** whomever I wanted, but it all changed some time ago, and now that I have my partner I just picture Us in every situation (And position for those sexaholics out there).

    That's pretty great. Sounds like you found the one. And hey, if you don't wanna change diapers, you can adopt a slightly older child who is already potty trained! My son and his bf have talked about having kids and are debating whether to try to have a biological or adopt. Years in the future for now, so they have time to figure it out.
    Oh yeah if we have babies they come in 10 years =) maybe then it will be possible to have an engineered baby with both or DNA's if not, we would ask his sister for an egg.
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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    wow quite a few beautiful answers! thank you very much.

    The thing is "I just know" I want him for the rest of my life and he has said the same thing, we talk about growing old together and some other romantic silly stuff that come with time, even children which turn to be a joke because none of us like to change diapers...

    I just ask because I was the type of guy who used to say would be single until his mid 30s and just **** whomever I wanted, but it all changed some time ago, and now that I have my partner I just picture Us in every situation (And position for those sexaholics out there).

    That's pretty great. Sounds like you found the one. And hey, if you don't wanna change diapers, you can adopt a slightly older child who is already potty trained! My son and his bf have talked about having kids and are debating whether to try to have a biological or adopt. Years in the future for now, so they have time to figure it out.
    Oh yeah if we have babies they come in 10 years =) maybe then it will be possible to have an engineered baby with both or DNA's if not, we would ask his sister for an egg.

    :flowerforyou: good idea!
  • JustYandy
    JustYandy Posts: 221 Member
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    You don't know.... you live & learn and just go with what you want

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