How do you know it is time to settle down?
Replies
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When you don't want to have any more adventures.0
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I didn't know it was time, honestly. But I knew I felt differently about my husband, than all the others that came before him and felt like if I was going to make it work with anyone, it would be him. I was 27 at the time and lived been on my own enough and been in enough "this isn't going to work" relationships to know what I needed and what I didn't. Husband fit those requirements, so I jumped.
Didn't you mention in another thread that you got pregnant and then decided to get married? I'm sure this had to have at least a little influence in your decision to settle down.
As the other half of the story, I am going to go ahead and say that it didn't. We both had the option of either settling down with each other, or going our separate ways. We chose the former because we genuinely liked and loved one another. She didn't settle for me because she needed someone to help her, and I didn't settle for her out of some sense of obligation.
Always remember that when you assume, you end up making an a** out of you... but not me.0 -
omg! so excited for you gorgeusYou work with your own timeline. I dropped the big L word at 3 weeks, about a month in to it, I knew I would spend the rest of my life with him. . . the proposal came after about 2 months of him dropping hints that he was "making plans". Everyone thought we were crazy, but when you know you know. We had both been with the wrong people before.
Do not let anyone tell you that its too soon, or your are rushing it. When you know, you know. When its meant to be forever, you can start forever right now!
We have waited 18 month to get married (because even my 15 yr old said we were rushing it), but I would have married him the next day, we are 6 weeks away, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.
you will look amazing in that dress
Did you go see it? OMG, I'm dying over this dress!!! Fitting is Thursday. . . IT'S SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIE!!!!!!0 -
When you don't want to have any more adventures.
Aw, don't think like that. The adventures are so much better when there's someone to share them with.
Though truthfully, being with one other person isn't for everyone. Maybe not even for most people. But I don't think the adventures disappear.0 -
I always tell him "I am an actor, so if you want you can have sex with a different man every night... the only rule is, they all live in my body" and darling we have adventures (sex in the train Christmas' Eve for example).When you don't want to have any more adventures.
Aw, don't think like that. The adventures are so much better when there's someone to share them with.
Though truthfully, being with one other person isn't for everyone. Maybe not even for most people. But I don't think the adventures disappear.0 -
You don't seem like the kind of guy that would really have any other options anyway.
I for one find him really cute, and so is his wife, so I don't see anything wrong with them being together, accidental pregnancy or not, a baby does not force anybody to stay with somebody.
So don't be a douche, that is normally my job!0 -
I didn't know it was time, honestly. But I knew I felt differently about my husband, than all the others that came before him and felt like if I was going to make it work with anyone, it would be him. I was 27 at the time and lived been on my own enough and been in enough "this isn't going to work" relationships to know what I needed and what I didn't. Husband fit those requirements, so I jumped.
Didn't you mention in another thread that you got pregnant and then decided to get married? I'm sure this had to have at least a little influence in your decision to settle down.
As the other half of the story, I am going to go ahead and say that it didn't. We both had the option of either settling down with each other, or going our separate ways. We chose the former because we genuinely liked and loved one another. She didn't settle for me because she needed someone to help her, and I didn't settle for her out of some sense of obligation.
Always remember that when you assume, you end up making an a** out of you... but not me.
Is that the story she told you?
Sounds like you both had very few options. She either had the option of being a single mother or settling down with you. You don't seem like the kind of guy that would really have any other options anyway.
Good options are not in abundance here.
So she was right, you really are just a rude person with opinions you should just keep to yourself.
She could have had the baby and kept it as a single mother, or given it up for adoption, or had an abortion, or settled down with the father. That's four options, and she chose the one which worked best for her. How can you tell what kind of guy he is? He stayed with her and raised his baby, that makes him a pretty great guy in my book. Lots of guys don't.0 -
When you don't want to have any more adventures.
My hubs and I have had SO many adventures together. They were more fun and meant more because we shared them.0 -
I didn't know it was time, honestly. But I knew I felt differently about my husband, than all the others that came before him and felt like if I was going to make it work with anyone, it would be him. I was 27 at the time and lived been on my own enough and been in enough "this isn't going to work" relationships to know what I needed and what I didn't. Husband fit those requirements, so I jumped.
Didn't you mention in another thread that you got pregnant and then decided to get married? I'm sure this had to have at least a little influence in your decision to settle down.
As the other half of the story, I am going to go ahead and say that it didn't. We both had the option of either settling down with each other, or going our separate ways. We chose the former because we genuinely liked and loved one another. She didn't settle for me because she needed someone to help her, and I didn't settle for her out of some sense of obligation.
Always remember that when you assume, you end up making an a** out of you... but not me.
Is that the story she told you?
Sounds like you both had very few options. She either had the option of being a single mother or settling down with you. You don't seem like the kind of guy that would really have any other options anyway.
Good options are not in abundance here.
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OP, it sounds to me like you two have a great bond and IMHO, two months is definitely not too soon.
When Hubs and I first started dating we spent a ton of time together right off the bat. He started backing off 2-3 weeks in and in the past I would've been like "whatever, plenty of other fish in the sea" but there was something about "us" that I couldn't just let go. So I fought it, I went to see him and told him straight up how I felt and how I wanted to give this a real go and then I left. He called me the next day and was totally on board (claimed he was testing me but that just sounded convenient LOL). We continued to spend every waking moment together (and some sleeping moments) and two months after meeting, we moved in together.
There was another touchy spot about 2 years in when I felt like we weren't going anywhere so we sort of broke up for a month or so. Still lived together and even shared a bed some nights, but I had to seperate myself from him as much as I could to think. Lucky for me he loved me enough to have the patience to wait and in the end I just couldn't imagine living without him. And now 16+ years in (5 years married), we're still crazy about each other. Sure there are times when we get on each others nerves but the good outweighs the bad most of the time.
Best of luck to you!0 -
I didn't know it was time, honestly. But I knew I felt differently about my husband, than all the others that came before him and felt like if I was going to make it work with anyone, it would be him. I was 27 at the time and lived been on my own enough and been in enough "this isn't going to work" relationships to know what I needed and what I didn't. Husband fit those requirements, so I jumped.
Didn't you mention in another thread that you got pregnant and then decided to get married? I'm sure this had to have at least a little influence in your decision to settle down.
As the other half of the story, I am going to go ahead and say that it didn't. We both had the option of either settling down with each other, or going our separate ways. We chose the former because we genuinely liked and loved one another. She didn't settle for me because she needed someone to help her, and I didn't settle for her out of some sense of obligation.
Always remember that when you assume, you end up making an a** out of you... but not me.
Is that the story she told you?
Sounds like you both had very few options. She either had the option of being a single mother or settling down with you. You don't seem like the kind of guy that would really have any other options anyway.
Good options are not in abundance here.
Wow, you're an *kitten*0 -
I didn't know it was time, honestly. But I knew I felt differently about my husband, than all the others that came before him and felt like if I was going to make it work with anyone, it would be him. I was 27 at the time and lived been on my own enough and been in enough "this isn't going to work" relationships to know what I needed and what I didn't. Husband fit those requirements, so I jumped.
Didn't you mention in another thread that you got pregnant and then decided to get married? I'm sure this had to have at least a little influence in your decision to settle down.
As the other half of the story, I am going to go ahead and say that it didn't. We both had the option of either settling down with each other, or going our separate ways. We chose the former because we genuinely liked and loved one another. She didn't settle for me because she needed someone to help her, and I didn't settle for her out of some sense of obligation.
Always remember that when you assume, you end up making an a** out of you... but not me.
Is that the story she told you?
Sounds like you both had very few options. She either had the option of being a single mother or settling down with you. You don't seem like the kind of guy that would really have any other options anyway.
Good options are not in abundance here.
just to clarify, what kind of options would a guy like you have?0 -
I think a sign you have entered the point in your life when you are ready to settle down is when you are ok being alone. When you know you have a lot to live for and offer even when you are alone. Being "ok" with being independent and not have your happiness, contentment, *insert adjective of choice* rely on someone else. The person you are with (or the person you will find to settle down with) will be lucky to have someone who is strong and independent and stable in their own personhood. You realize your worth and all you have to offer after you realize the value in yourself. I think that makes a great partner for the long haul!0
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Well I am sure he is not even getting laid.You don't seem like the kind of guy that would really have any other options anyway.
Good options are not in abundance here.
just to clarify, what kind of options would a guy like you have?0 -
When you can envision your life 20, 30 or 40 years down the road and you can see that person sharing that future with you.
This. My current boyfriend is the first guy I have ever seriously wanted to spend years and years with without feeling freaked out or antsy about it.0 -
Well I am sure he is not even getting laid.You don't seem like the kind of guy that would really have any other options anyway.
Good options are not in abundance here.
just to clarify, what kind of options would a guy like you have?
if he is it's by girls too drunk to know better. actually, I'm 98% certain that is his M.O., but I'm curious to hear what he thinks he's able to pull.0 -
My theory of dating is, almost anyone can be the right one. It is more about timing and maturity than finding some one true love.0
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Well I am sure he is not even getting laid.You don't seem like the kind of guy that would really have any other options anyway.
Good options are not in abundance here.
just to clarify, what kind of options would a guy like you have?
if he is it's by girls too drunk to know better. actually, I'm 98% certain that is his M.O., but I'm curious to hear what he thinks he's able to pull.
*golf clap*0 -
Well I am sure he is not even getting laid.You don't seem like the kind of guy that would really have any other options anyway.
Good options are not in abundance here.
just to clarify, what kind of options would a guy like you have?
if he is it's by girls too drunk to know better. actually, I'm 98% certain that is his M.O., but I'm curious to hear what he thinks he's able to pull.
He just does the clean and jerk, no spotter.0 -
I didn't know it was time, honestly. But I knew I felt differently about my husband, than all the others that came before him and felt like if I was going to make it work with anyone, it would be him. I was 27 at the time and lived been on my own enough and been in enough "this isn't going to work" relationships to know what I needed and what I didn't. Husband fit those requirements, so I jumped.
Didn't you mention in another thread that you got pregnant and then decided to get married? I'm sure this had to have at least a little influence in your decision to settle down.
As the other half of the story, I am going to go ahead and say that it didn't. We both had the option of either settling down with each other, or going our separate ways. We chose the former because we genuinely liked and loved one another. She didn't settle for me because she needed someone to help her, and I didn't settle for her out of some sense of obligation.
Always remember that when you assume, you end up making an a** out of you... but not me.
Is that the story she told you?
Sounds like you both had very few options. She either had the option of being a single mother or settling down with you. You don't seem like the kind of guy that would really have any other options anyway.
Good options are not in abundance here.
Your class and intelligence are really shining though. You should go easy those of us who are so unfortunate as to have so few options in life.0 -
Your class and intelligence are really shining though. You should go easy those of us who are so unfortunate as to have so few options in life.
It is evident in abundance to everyone in the thread. Credibility is not just handed out, it's earned. The vast gulf between your credibility and his is clear to anyone reading this thread alone.0 -
Your class and intelligence are really shining though. You should go easy those of us who are so unfortunate as to have so few options in life.
It is evident in abundance to everyone in the thread. Credibility is not just handed out, it's earned. The vast gulf between your credibility and his is clear to anyone reading this thread alone.
Don't mind me, I am just here QFT.0 -
As a person that did everything in a truly effed up order, I realized it was time to settle down when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. My personal "it's time to settle down" moment had nothing to do with a spouse or boyfriend but everything to do with my child.0
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Your class and intelligence are really shining though. You should go easy those of us who are so unfortunate as to have so few options in life.
It is evident in abundance to everyone in the thread. Credibility is not just handed out, it's earned. The vast gulf between your credibility and his is clear to anyone reading this thread alone.
And also, QFT. A simple search will let anyone know all they need to know.
Signed,
A Single Mom with ever so many options.0 -
I used to work with a woman who married her husband six weeks after meeting him. When I knew her, they'd been together for 25 or 30 years and were still incredibly happy. Sometimes it's just right.
so it is not too soon if we have been together 2 months? great! whomever may see us would say we have been together for yearstake it from someone who never thought they would get married or have kids.....when you find someone worth it, you will do it......the best way to put it is you don't know until you know
^^THIS!
Never ever thought I would get married again. We talked on our first date about how we were never getting married again, lol. He proposed 3 months later. . . you just know!!0 -
Read through some of his older posts. He's quite picky, though I doubt what he thinks he can pull has any interest in him unless her self-esteem is lower than toilet level. Heck, any woman interested in him would have to be down there.
Well I am sure he is not even getting laid.You don't seem like the kind of guy that would really have any other options anyway.
Good options are not in abundance here.
just to clarify, what kind of options would a guy like you have?
if he is it's by girls too drunk to know better. actually, I'm 98% certain that is his M.O., but I'm curious to hear what he thinks he's able to pull.0 -
Your class and intelligence are really shining though. You should go easy those of us who are so unfortunate as to have so few options in life.
It is evident in abundance to everyone in the thread. Credibility is not just handed out, it's earned. The vast gulf between your credibility and his is clear to anyone reading this thread alone.
Don't mind me, I am just here QFT.And also, QFT. A simple search will let anyone know all they need to know.
Signed,
A Single Mom with ever so many options.
You people are all beautiful, just beautiful.
Except for that one guy.0 -
Your class and intelligence are really shining though. You should go easy those of us who are so unfortunate as to have so few options in life.
Looked at your photos. Assuming you have a good personality and some intelligence (you seem to), I think you'd have plenty of options. Certainly more than MikeM.
If we were both single and met, I'd date you before I'd give him the time of day.0 -
Your class and intelligence are really shining though. You should go easy those of us who are so unfortunate as to have so few options in life.
Looked at your photos. Assuming you have a good personality and some intelligence (you seem to), I think you'd have plenty of options. Certainly more than MikeM.
If we were both single and met, I'd date you before I'd give him the time of day.
Heh, why thanks. Though something tells me that a complex concept like time might escape his grasp.0 -
Your class and intelligence are really shining though. You should go easy those of us who are so unfortunate as to have so few options in life.
Looked at your photos. Assuming you have a good personality and some intelligence (you seem to), I think you'd have plenty of options. Certainly more than MikeM.
If we were both single and met, I'd date you before I'd give him the time of day.
Heh, why thanks. Though something tells me that a complex concept like time might escape his grasp.
True, true.
And after all, I'm a single mom and I probably don't have any other options, either.0
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