Reducing parental concern over my diet
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intheaeroplaneoverthesea
Posts: 7
The other day, I went out to eat with my parents and was originally going to order a vegetable soup and a garden salad, however my parents became concerned and insisted that I had to get a pasta, which I ended up doing to avoid creating drama, however, this of course disrupted the meals I had planned out for the day and I ended up going over my caloric limit, and the only thing that saved me was that I had done more exercise than usual that day, reducing the adverse impact of the pasta. Since I go out to eat with them a lot, how can I stick to my diet without my parents becoming overly worried about the fact that I'm actually eating healthily?
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Sorry but parents will be parents. That being said are you in a position where you can cook them a meal? That way they can see that you can look after yourself.0
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Agreed that parents will be....parents. Would you be open to showing them your logs so they can see that you're getting a good balance of nutrients and not starving? Family means well so pulling up my logs in front of a few members of mine convinced them (especially on holidays) that I am actually ok and not hurting myself. I think dragging out my food scale freaked them out lol. Even as an adult family worries so it's got both the positive and negative sides.0
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A quick look at your profile and diary suggests that you are already a healthy body weight, and that you state you have a history of disordered eating and a desire to control your body. You are consistently eating below goal and missing (or not logging) meals.
As a parent I would be worried too.0 -
A quick look at your profile and diary suggests that you are already a healthy body weight, and that you state you have a history of disordered eating and a desire to control your body. You are consistently eating below goal and missing (or not logging) meals.
As a parent I would be worried too.
Agreed. You are eating below the 1200 bare minimum that anyone should ever eat, and then factoring in 300+ exercise calorie burns drops it even lower. You are not eating enough. You can eat enough and eat healthy as well.0 -
The other day, I went out to eat with my parents and was originally going to order a vegetable soup and a garden salad, however my parents became concerned and insisted that I had to get a pasta, which I ended up doing to avoid creating drama, however, this of course disrupted the meals I had planned out for the day and I ended up going over my caloric limit, and the only thing that saved me was that I had done more exercise than usual that day, reducing the adverse impact of the pasta. Since I go out to eat with them a lot, how can I stick to my diet without my parents becoming overly worried about the fact that I'm actually eating healthily?
Try printing out your meal plan for the day so that you can show them that you are eating enough and being healthy and whatever they want you to eat doesn't fit into your plan.0 -
At 18 years old, it is your choice whether to go out to dinner with your folks or not. If you're going out for the companionship or a celebration, then make a little leeway in your plan for a real meal. Many restaurants have lighter dishes with <600 calories. This can easily fit into a 1500 calorie per day plan (1200 + 300 exercise calories). Since you have said that your goal is to gain structure of your eating, this additional planning should help you feel more in control, not less.
If you're just going out with mom & dad because they're not cooking that night, then choose to stay home & make your own food. I'm sure they won't mind saving the $15 or $20 and having a night to themselves.0 -
The other day, I went out to eat with my parents and was originally going to order a vegetable soup and a garden salad, however my parents became concerned and insisted that I had to get a pasta, which I ended up doing to avoid creating drama, however, this of course disrupted the meals I had planned out for the day and I ended up going over my caloric limit, and the only thing that saved me was that I had done more exercise than usual that day, reducing the adverse impact of the pasta. Since I go out to eat with them a lot, how can I stick to my diet without my parents becoming overly worried about the fact that I'm actually eating healthily?
if your diary is accurate they have every right to be worried!
a goal weight of 115 is pretty low for your height (i say this because i am the same height as you)0 -
Your calories are often sub 500 for the day and you have entries where you enter food and then set them to zero calories which indicates that you ate it and "disposed of it". If your parents were not concerned they would be blind.
Seek help via a counselling service for your disordered eating.
1 cracker and water does not make a meal. Your body will begin to feed from it's organs including your heart. It's not a game. It's your life.0 -
As with all relationship issues, I'm an advocate of honest, gracious communication! If I were in your shoes, I would gently tell my folks that I love eating out with them but it's uncomfortable for me when they comment negatively on my food choices and try to get me to order specific things. I'd ask if they have any concerns about my health they'd like to talk to me about, and go ahead and talk about it, and at the end of the day take the stance that I appreciate their concern and I hope they can understand my desire to make my own dietary choices without a lot of criticism.
Now, if they DO have concerns about your health, take them seriously. Especially if you have a history of under-eating, they are probably legitimately worried for your well being. Maybe you can turn it into a teamwork, positive experience by coming up with some healthy guidelines together and being open with them in that way. That's up to you though.
Bottom line it's okay to tell someone if they are doing something that makes you uncomfortable, and set healthy boundaries.0 -
Stop going out to eat with them. (side note: even "healthy" options at restaurants are still pretty bad 9 times out of 10) Start inviting them on walks in scenic places, or hikes, or window shopping. That way you still get quality family time, but avoid awkward questions about your food choices.
And nobody forced you to have the pasta, get that idea out of your head. They pushed, you cracked. It's a simple case of you not sticking to your guns. All you're doing is enforcing that you can be bullied by them, and they will continue to exploit that, (however inadvertently) until YOU make it stop.0 -
My parents are both dead. So, I can't relate. Sorry, I got nothin'.0
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I was going to suggest that you show your parents your food log, but after viewing it myself, I personally think they have a reason to express concern. You don't have that much weight to lose, so it's not going to come off quickly. I saw that you had raised your calorie goal, but you were still consistently logging way under even then. Food is not your enemy. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to consult a nutrionist to learn healthy ways to consume the calories you need. That would set your parents a little more at ease, I'm sure.0
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After looking at your profile and diary, I think your parents should be worried...0
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If you're logging accurately, they may be right to be concerned. It shouldn't be to hard to find a healthy option when eating out, with a good balance of macros - I wouldn't like to see my daughter eating veggie soup and a salad as one of her main meals. You should try to find more protein option.
Apologies, if you actually eat more than you are logging.0 -
A quick look at your profile and diary suggests that you are already a healthy body weight, and that you state you have a history of disordered eating and a desire to control your body. You are consistently eating below goal and missing (or not logging) meals.
As a parent I would be worried too.
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Pretty much this. They are worried.A quick look at your profile and diary suggests that you are already a healthy body weight, and that you state you have a history of disordered eating and a desire to control your body. You are consistently eating below goal and missing (or not logging) meals.
As a parent I would be worried too.0 -
Do you live with your parents? If so, perhaps they have more insight into your eating habits than you think. And I realize this is probably a foreign concept to an 18-year-old, but they might be right.0
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Do you live with your parents? If so, perhaps they have more insight into your eating habits than you think. And I realize this is probably a foreign concept to an 18-year-old, but they might be right.
Looking at her diary, they are 100% right.
ETA: the older I get, the smarter my dad gets, somehow.0 -
This. All of this.Do you live with your parents? If so, perhaps they have more insight into your eating habits than you think. And I realize this is probably a foreign concept to an 18-year-old, but they might be right.
Looking at her diary, they are 100% right.
ETA: the older I get, the smarter my dad gets, somehow.
You need some counseling. And probably more pasta.0 -
Agree with all. Your diary is troubling, as is your profile saying you need "more control". Classic disordered eating. Please get help.0
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