Reducing parental concern over my diet

2»

Replies

  • Vegan_85
    Vegan_85 Posts: 40 Member
    You have a BMI of 23.3, so you're already in the healthy range.

    These statements on your profile concern me:

    "i'm tired of the lack of control i feel over my body. i've dealt with unhealthy eating patterns my entire life"

    and:

    "when my metabolism slows down the dietary adjustments needed will be smaller"

    - Your parents are probably just being cautious because they know you have a history of (potentially) disordered eating. It's a good thing that they're looking out for you.

    EDIT: You ate only 182 calories one day. You appeared to log some food for every meal. Then 212 calories worth of exercise on top of that: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/intheaeroplaneoverthesea?date=2014-01-08
  • twixlepennie
    twixlepennie Posts: 1,074 Member
    The other day, I went out to eat with my parents and was originally going to order a vegetable soup and a garden salad, however my parents became concerned and insisted that I had to get a pasta, which I ended up doing to avoid creating drama, however, this of course disrupted the meals I had planned out for the day and I ended up going over my caloric limit, and the only thing that saved me was that I had done more exercise than usual that day, reducing the adverse impact of the pasta. Since I go out to eat with them a lot, how can I stick to my diet without my parents becoming overly worried about the fact that I'm actually eating healthily?

    From your profile it sounds like you may have had issues with an ED in the past? If so, then they're probably just worried about you.

    ETA: just looked at your food diary. ED counseling would probably be a really good idea.
  • intheaeroplaneoverthesea
    intheaeroplaneoverthesea Posts: 7
    Keep in mind that I do have a busy schedule, so many days I don't actually get to log all of my meals, and when something says it has zero calories, it's mainly just me calculating things on my phone and then not knowing how to delete them on iOS. So it seems worse than it is, but any illusion that I'm consistently under my goal is mainly caused by the fact that I don't always get the opportunity to log everything. Also, I have a binge eating disorder, so my weight loss goal is a means of monitoring my portion sizes while also being able to look good in a swimsuit instead of eating thousands of calories a day, because that could lead to obesity in the future and has already caused me to gain significant amounts of weight. I have a small frame, and many of my family members are also in that height-weight range, so it's pretty normal for my build, and at the weight I'm at right now I have significant amounts of extra chub that I'd like to see go away. Anyways, I do live with my parents, but they can be pretty overbearing about food with us, which is why I like to cook my own food, and I was wondering what to do because on Friday I'm going out with them for pizza and I know they'll want me to eat a full pizza, whereas I'd rather eat a soup or a salad.
  • 19TaraLynn84
    19TaraLynn84 Posts: 739 Member
    Tell them you don't want pizza and would prefer a salad and soup? Seems oddly simple for an 18-year-old to tell her parents she doesn't want to eat a whole pizza. I'm not trying to be snarky. Please don't read it that way. But in all seriousness, if you are really 18, this shouldn't be that hard.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I'm certainly not an expert on what other people should or shouldn't eat, and I am not a parent. I suppose you may well have disordered eating that needs to be addressed.

    However, with that said...I am curious about your parents' involvement in your life. Are they extremely controlling? Do you live with them? Perhaps a change of scenery and becoming more independent, whether living on your own, with roommates, or in a school/dorm situation, would help you feel more in control.

    There's a lot of concern in this thread and I'd imagine it sounds like judging to you. Please understand that the majority of people (MFP posters and quite possibly your parents) really DO have your best interests in mind.

    I wish you the best.
  • Arydria
    Arydria Posts: 179 Member
    *deleted* once I read your response.

    You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Your parents are concerned because they love you.

    For pizza... eat 1 slice.. make them happy. Then enjoy salad and soup.
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
    I have a binge eating disorder

    This is the important part.

    Your parents will worry. They are concerned about your eating habits, as they should be.

    The best way to ease their concern is to involve them in your disorder and what you are doing about it. The more they know, and the more they are convinced that you are doing everything in your power to fight your disorder, the less concerned they will be. If you keep them locked out, and they see you starving yourself at dinner, they will rightly be very concerned.
  • Nessiechickie
    Nessiechickie Posts: 1,392 Member
    My parents tell me to go to the gym if I gain 5 lbs
    and if I lose 5 lbs they tell me to eat more.
    Its a lose-lose battle.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    *deleted* once I read your response.

    You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Your parents are concerned because they love you.

    For pizza... eat 1 slice.. make them happy. Then enjoy salad and soup.

    I think this is good advice and if that doesn't satisfy OP's parents, they are being a bit ridiculous.

    Maybe I'm wayyy off target but to me it sounds like the problem is more with the dynamics of family. It can be extremely difficult to live with your parents beyond the onset of adulthood if you're very independent and they are very controlling.
  • Smashley1947
    Smashley1947 Posts: 129
    I would highly recommend going to a registered dietician or find a counselor through school or your parents employee assistance program (EAP). I stress a registered dietician and one that is familiar with working with people who have struggled with ED's. There is also a lot of misinformation available online and available through 'nutritionists' who are not registered on what exactly is healthy eating.

    With them you can sit down and go through your meal plan and find out if it is right for you. As someone who struggles with ED it is important to remember to eat a balanced diet.

    You may or may not be eating healthy and you may struggle to find the right balance of healthy eatings vs weight control.

    Also a very important part of losing fat is actually increasing your muscle. I would add weight training to your exercise regimen (and with that added calorie (fats and protein)).

    With the information from the dietican/counselor you will be able to go to your parents and be able to show them that they have nothing to worry about.

Categories