4 days in and already confronted with a cheat dilemma

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  • CurlyGlitterChicken
    CurlyGlitterChicken Posts: 11 Member
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    In your shoes, I'd get in a good workout for the day. It sounds like the beer is much more of a draw than the burger and fries, so I would eat before you go out to avoid the temptations of the burger. Then I would go out and enjoy one or two or three beers and log the calories. That might leave me over for the day, but my personal rule for myself is that I can eat anything I want, as long as I track it.

    Then maybe you scale back your calories and get a good workout the next day.

    I can see where you'd want to avoid the cheat when you're only 4 days in; on the other hand, if you're trying to adopt habits that you will keep over the long term, you need to make sure you can still enjoy the things you really enjoy while maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
  • Susan923
    Susan923 Posts: 61
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    :)
  • Susan923
    Susan923 Posts: 61
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    You MUST work out and lift weights if you like beer and bar food like me.

    If you choose to cut down calories and just diet without exercise,

    then you MUST give up beer and bar food while you diet and stick to it.

    Simple as that.

    You seem to enjoy going out with friends/drinking beer/eating bar food while watching a good football game every week or often enough.

    If you don't want to give up that life style, you MUST start working out to put on muscle mass so you can burn more kcal.

    Otherwise, even if you lose weight, you will be skinny fat and flabby AND regain all your weight in no time.
  • Susan923
    Susan923 Posts: 61
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    Yeah, What he said!
  • rem10210
    rem10210 Posts: 40 Member
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    I also LOVE craft beer. I budget them into my day/week. I disagree they are "empty", I light beer yes, but there are nutrients in real beer, and you do feel full after drinking them. Just limit yourself to the calories you have budgeted and keep your meal on the light side.
  • ladynocturne
    ladynocturne Posts: 865 Member
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    I know how you feel, I'm an IPA girl myself and I love getting local craft beers at the pubs in Cali.

    Lucky for me, I don't have a lot of friends who frequent bars with me, I usually go 3 times a month and it's easy to just save some extra calories + work out and be able to have 400+ calories of beer out.

    Maybe you could let your friends know that you will only go out drinking once per week and that maybe you guys could meet up somewhere else so you aren't as tempted? I know what it's like to make a bad food choice after a few beers, and I'm sure that if you make them know you're concerned about your health, they won't mind.
  • hep26000
    hep26000 Posts: 156 Member
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    Have a beer... enjoy it. Try to get in some exercise before though.

    Either split the burger and fries with a friend OR make a couple swaportunities. Veggies and a burger OR a grilled chicken sandwich (with mayo and yummy stuff) and some fries. Just a couple swaps to help will add up to a lot.

    You can tell your buddies what you are going to eat ahead of time and tell them you are not allowed to change it. If they are good friends- they won't give you crap and will help if you start to lose your willpower.
  • LVCeltGirl
    LVCeltGirl Posts: 473
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    I'm agreeing with a lot of people out there (my problem is a good hard cider rather than beer). If you want to do this, have a beer or two (or even more), then you've got to give up something during the day you're doing this or you've got to earn it (I vote for earn it, the long term benefits of exercising is well worth the effort of exercising). Simple as that. If you're not willing to do the work (it's about changing your lifestyle and that does need to include exercise at some point or you'll get to goal but not stay there, unless you happen to be one of the select few that don't go back and gain the weight after reaching goal), then you don't want the goal bad enough.

    I also am in the same boat. I know what I need to do but there have been times in my past that the divide between knowing what I need to do and wanting to do what I need to do is the size of the Grand Canyon. You have to want to do what you know you need to and that could be the biggest hurdle you face in this struggle with weight loss. Wouldn't it be safe to say if you're changing your lifestyle (instead of on a diet) that you don't really have "cheat" days. You have good days where you're on track and bad days when you're not, just like every other person out there (overweight, underweight or ideal weight). And there's always tomorrow to improve on what you did today.
  • no_day_but_2day
    no_day_but_2day Posts: 222 Member
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    So, I've been working out like Crazy for a year now. They only time I stopped was a month after my first half marathon because I hurt myself during the race and couldn't hardly walk afterwards. I even worked out during my vacation in Florida with the gym they had on the island. That's nuts! And what do I have to show for it?? Nothing except maybe more endurance. You know what my conclusion is? Because of my drinking. I don't drink during the week.. EVER! I constantly watch what I am eating with MFP and I don't eat my exercise. (So, if I burn 500 calories at cycling I don't give myself that excuse to eat those 500 calories). I also use a heart rate monitor that is attached to my chest to measure my calories so I'm not just guessing. So, this is my conclusion. I do go out on the weekends from time to time. Whether it's for a girls night out, or with my boyfriend and if it's a crazy night, it will consist of lots of bud lights/ bud selects. Then, I feel like crap the next day and usually eat whatever I have in my house, or I make it a point to get Chinese food. This is usually only on a Saturday night to Sunday day when this happens. Therefore, all because of drinking on that 1 day a week with the added calories from the crappy food from feeling like crap, I have lost NOTHING but maybe a pound or two that keeps fluctuating. It makes me feel like all that hard work, the time on my freaking vacation that I used to workout instead of sleep in, was a total waste of time. So, here is goes. I had a friend come in town from Chicago last Friday and last Saturday was the beginning of no drinking for two months. This means I will no longer be drinking those extra calories, and this means no more crazy cheat days with Chinese food or whatever. I have made my "diet" a way of life, but sometimes, a good burger is what my body craves and I will not give that up. But, I have been told if you crave it, then wait until it's the end of the week and only eat it for one meal and be smart about it. If I want that burger, I will eat it with half the bun and no fries, etc etc.
    Sorry for venting, but since I was in the same boat, I wanted to give my input. Also, I know everyone's body is different so you may have better luck, but I would try and just cut out how much you drink since you won't give up the taste aspect of the beer. I am still going to go out with my friends, I won't give that up. I just will drinking soda water on the rocks to get me through! :)

    Good Luck,:smile:
    Rachel B.
  • zootiesgroove
    zootiesgroove Posts: 26
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    My biggest factor is CHANGING my way of thinking. I've decided (on my 40th birthday a couple weeks ago), that I need to be okay with being single and to start living for me, rather than looking for someone to "complete" me or being a victim of my environment. Making these decisions in the moment; living for today - not worrying about tomorrow or yesterday. I'm never going to give up drinking good beer, but I've already changed from going out (or buying a six-pack) every night. I've made the effort to pack my breakfast and lunch so I make healthy food choices during the workday. Because of these changes, I've been happier, healthier and I've already dropped more than 15 lbs since Christmas.

    But I have to militantly regimented in order to be consistent but I also have to understand that one night out is not going to ruin it all. I shouldnt pour the entire gallon on the floor if I spill a little milk. But that is my struggle. I am an "all or nothing" guy. It's black or its white. There is no gray in my life. Right now, if I eat right and stick to my calories, 9 days out of 10 I will see the scale go down. That is a HUGE motivation for me because I have started and stopped several diets last year. I get discouraged quickly and if I am strict but the scale doesnt move in the morning, then I say eff it and have a beer or 12 and eat a whole pizza.

    So the bottom line is, I really cant allow myself to give in so soon... and definitely not twice in one week. I agree with substituting a "cheat" with more exercise or less calories elsewhere in the day, but for me, its not about staying under calories, its about avoiding the dependency of alcohol, specifically when I'm out with my crew. Its about breaking that habit that I have to drink when I go to a bar. Its about rewarding myself further down the road when I have reached my goals. Its about slowly introducing the foods and drinks I enjoy when I can make accommodations for it. Its about repairing my metabolism and achieving better fitness. This is all more important than any craft beer.

    Thanks to everyone who responded - because you've helped me put this into perspective. I say this now and of course the true test will be when I'm standing at the bar in front of all those taps. Will I choose to drink water or will I have 1 beer? If I have a beer will I stop at 1 or will I have 2, or 3, or 4? Right now, I dont want to have the beer or the burger and fries... but peer-pressure and force of habit is a hard thing to break. Guess I'll know what my testicular fortitude is come 6pm this evening.
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
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    Am I the only one that's noticed this guy's goal is under 1600 cals?

    OP, unless a doctor has advised you that you need to get the weight off ASAP for health reasons, why not pick a more reasonable amount to allow yourself? 1600 cals is very low for a guy.

    Personal opinion, but you'll do better in the long run picking a more moderate deficit that will allow you to fit in the foods and drinks you enjoy while still losing weight. You should be able to fit in a beer, a hamburger, and some fries and still be able to have more than just water for the rest of the day. I'll also throw in a plug for strength training. It's a big benefit for relatively little time investment.

    EDIT: NM, just saw your last post - if it's about avoiding alcohol, that's a whole 'nother animal. I still stand by choosing a more moderate deficit, though. All or nothing efforts have a tendency to leave you with .... nothing.
  • cuinboston2014
    cuinboston2014 Posts: 848 Member
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    Hey - I'm trying to avoid alcohol for different reasons than you AND to aid in weight loss. And it's HARD!! I've only been alcohol free for 9 days and I am craving a glass of wine. No, wine does not have 300 calories in a glass (OK some of my pours might :)) but it still adds up. Plus then I want to snack, like many people after a few glasses.

    However, night time instead of wine, I try to keep myself busy doing ANYTHING and then drink tea. Ugh, OK not the best substitute but whatever. I pretend I love it.

    When I was just cutting back on how much I had I would go to the bar, drink water and really think about if I was missing out on something by not drinking. Most of the time, the answer was no. I would rather sacrifice my beloved wine than to see the scale go up in the next day or two.

    It is hard, but keep your goals in mind. My best advice for tonight would be to drink water or a low-cal alcohol free beverage sicne you are going to a brewery tour on Saturday. And let's be honest - it's silly to go to a brewery tour and not drink a thing. If you do want one beer tonight, make sure you earn it. Hopefully you don't spend money you don't have so don't spend calories you dont' have either!
  • zanne54
    zanne54 Posts: 336 Member
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    I agree that you're a little too early into your lifestyle change to be putting yourself in a couple of very "testing" situations.

    I'm also in my 40's and I made the lifestyle change last January. Those "experts" who say it takes a month to break old/make new habits? Liars. At 30 days, it was still a novelty (and the weight-loss results were intoxicatingly motivating). It was the 2-3 month point that was the hardest for me. The novelty had worn off, and I really wanted to revert to my old ways. I had a couple of bumps in the road where I fell off the wagon, but (and this is the key) rather than go down the rabbit hole with a case of beer and a pizza, I restarted the next day, meal, whatever. Gradually it got easier, and the urge to justify why I should have that burger & fries, beer, cheese, wine, whatever because I had a hard day, a good day, was hungry (insert laundry list of justifications here), well that urge is pretty much gone.

    I am still a foodie. I just don't indulge in my food choices every. single. meal. anymore. I still love to drink beer, wine, vodka, whatever. I just don't drink as much nor as frequently. Look at my food diary yesterday: I ate lean for breakfast & lunch so I could go up to the bar with the team after our game and eat some pizza. Last night, I chose food over beer. Sometimes I choose beer over food. And the best times are weekend when I can go do crazy amounts of exercise to earn enough calories to indulge in food and booze and dessert. My Saturday plans are to go to my power skating lesson, then go cross-country skiing for 2-3 hours (or as long as my legs can stand it), eat super light for breakfast & lunch so that I can go to my local sports bar to watch the Leafs vs. Habs and eat 2 lbs of chicken wings with a jug (or two) of beer. I can't do this once or twice a week (that's how I got fat in the first place), but I didn't have to cut it out entirely.

    It's all about finding that balance. Expect to fail a few times until you get the hang of it. Nobody is perfect at anything new without lots of practise. And even then, the pros still make mistakes, so don't set unrealistic expectations for yourself - failing doesn't equal quitting; it means sometimes *kitten* happens, you fall down, then you get up, dust yourself off and move on.
  • zootiesgroove
    zootiesgroove Posts: 26
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    Am I the only one that's noticed this guy's goal is under 1600 cals?
    OP, unless a doctor has advised you that you need to get the weight off ASAP for health reasons, why not pick a more reasonable amount to allow yourself? 1600 cals is very low for a guy.

    I base my calories on the weight I want to be, not the weight I am. I've actually had my metabolism tested several years ago when I was working out 4-5 days/week and at my goal weight and at that time, I was only burning 1800 cals (resting). You have to do what works for you. This works for me right now with a sedentary lifestyle and little to no exercise. When I start moving more (or working out more than a couple days/week), I will adjust my intake.
  • Indiri13
    Indiri13 Posts: 104 Member
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    You said the beer is on tap. Instead of ordering a whole pint, why not order a taster? They are much smaller and therefore less calories. Look up their website ahead of time and find some lower calorie options for food and preplan it out.

    Also, there is no reason that you can't have a maintenance day every once in a while. Don't go crazy on food, just eat to your current maintenance level (just remember that high sodium foods may cause a little water retention for a few days and don't freak out about the scale jump). For example, yesterday I was feeling totally wiped out and super hungry so I made it a maintenance day as a conscious decision. Since I had a carb heavy day (bread and lasagna) I am up .5 pound today but it's not "real" weight and will go away in a couple of days. Because I took a day off I feel so much better and I jumped back in this morning on the deficit.
  • jlcrph
    jlcrph Posts: 41 Member
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    I only have a beer if I have worked out that day to EARN it!
  • jos05
    jos05 Posts: 263 Member
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    I only have a beer if I have worked out that day to EARN it!

    This is exactly how I operate!! I used to really go out and drink... but I have noticed in the last couple of years that I don't have the tolerance that I once had... and why waste 4-10-15 days of hard work... on ONE night out on a the town...

    Honestly... I've cut back to 2 drinks at any one time... and I am trying to keep those times down to no more than 2 days a week. It's super hard!!

    But I have seriously noticed that it takes days to recover in the gym what ONE drink will do to my body!! .... as you go further along.. you'll either fall off the wagon like a lot of people do... or you'll finally come to the point that even you mentioned!!

    You want to live life on your terms... "complete yourself"... DO THIS FOR YOU!!! Make the decision... Ok! ONE BEER if I am going to be there for 2 hours... then water! Tell your waiter or bartender... no matter what I order... I am having one beer and then its water... basically have them cut you off! I have done that a few times...

    I know this advice is just pointless unless you are truly ready to make those changes... DON'T DEBATE IT!! STICK WITH YOUR CHANGES!!!

    The only person that can do this is YOU!


    I sincerely hope you make the right decision... cutting it out completely is never the answer... its life! It was meant to be lived... but you have to learn...

    Discipline is the only way... and the only one that can do that is you!

    ---love what you said in your post about not worrying about finding someone... I have recently come to that decision myself... feel free to friend me if you'd like support or accountability! I'm always looking for "like-minded" friends! :)


    GOOD LUCK TO YOU!
  • LINIA
    LINIA Posts: 1,109 Member
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    In reading between the lines, you really have to face the fact of either giving up something or doing without something ---and not occasionally. At this point, you can't afford, even one evening to go out drinking and eating so much.
    It doesn't sound like you have yet reached the stage where you can " budget in" the calories and continue to lose so nicely. One of the problems is nutrients...your body is craving nutrition from food. If you are enjoying the beer and you are out with friends, it is likely that you will overdo food and beer.

    In a perfect world ( i know- i know ) i'd ask you to begin to run, jog, do very aggressive bike riding, etc ......take two months of a calorie deficit and really retrain your body thru discipline--- any of that cardio would help so much in the long term. You do exercise but not enough to take in a true splurge every week. The temptation is great that you'll consume 4,000 calories grazing with good friends.

    Keep us updated and Good Luck!
  • SandraD1424
    SandraD1424 Posts: 81 Member
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    I have the SAME problem. I love beer. But I haven't had any in 9 days, I may sound like an alcoholic but 9 days is a long time for me. I say exercise so that you may have 1-2 but also make sure that you eat less calories today. And do not eat anything at the bar or afterwards. Enjoy yourself but do not overdue.
  • eat_run_play
    eat_run_play Posts: 30 Member
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    wow some of you all are pretty harsh. my experience after being into fitness for several years is if you want to have something you enjoy, have it! just have it in moderation. it takes practice to learn that. restrictive dieting for a long time usually results in the binge mentality. when you deprive yourself forever, you go hog-wild when you finally have it. however, you can have one beer and it won't sabotage your diet. just dont' let it continue and maybe eat something healthy before you go. don't get the burger and fries unless you've planned accordingly. i enjoy a variety of treats on the weekends and stick to my plan on the weekdays. without giving myself these things now and then, for a while i turned into a person who was angry and irritated all the time due to having to deprive myself of what i wanted. i judged others for their food choices (mostly over jealousy because i convinced myself i "couldn't" eat those things). i never want to be there again and i feel like in some ways very restricted diets and calorie counting can do that. it's ok to enjoy the things you like as long as you can do so in moderation. one beer. not 3. maybe the meat of the burger and part of the bun (cut in half), no fries. you have to learn what will work for you. do what works and you will feel happy and not deprived. look at your diary and think about what you are willing to do. if you go over calories 1 day but then back on track the other 6, it's not the end of the world about that 1 day. took me a long time to learn this.

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