Which one is harder?

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  • Jillian0708
    Jillian0708 Posts: 43
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    i would say definatly being a PARENT bc most days my husband acts like a child anyway ...

    :laugh: Jill
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
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    i would say definatly being a PARENT bc most days my husband acts like a child anyway ...

    :laugh: Jill

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Jessica68
    Jessica68 Posts: 2,419 Member
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    Definitely being a parent - mainly when they get older and are teens or young adults. Under 10 easy! But when they get older your life is filled with worry and battling them on issues. I mean some teens are GREAT - but some like to push their limits.

    Marriage: Bad marriage is DIFFICULT but Good Marraige - LOVE IT! I was married before and what misery it brought. But now that i have met a GREAT partner I so need him there is no way I could be without him. Sure at times he can give me a headache - but for the most part - he's my best friend. And there for me when I have those difficult times with my grown kids..well 18 & up.
  • amysj303
    amysj303 Posts: 5,086 Member
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    I read all these responses curiously because I am newly married and I give a lot of thought to whether or not to have children. Most of the time I think it will not happen, it would be a conscious decision and there will never be enough time or money, will never have done all that we wanted to, and even the choices between going back to work and leaving my baby with strangers, or not going back to work and spending all day with baby both sound horrible. I am not sure why anyone does it!
    I also considered what an earlier post said, either would be easier than both. I already picked husband:) I can't probably imagine how children would change our relationship.
    Oh, and I am not young, I'll be 35 in Feb and my ob/gyn said 35 was too late!
  • CroakerNorge
    CroakerNorge Posts: 165 Member
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    My boyfriend cooks, he used to be a chef. But, I could just see him becoming so overwhelmed and thusly paralyzed to the point of inaction. I know dogs are different than kids, but he barely takes care of our dog, that is not to say he doesn't love her and give her affection and he is happy she's with us. But, he has no idea what brand of food she eats, how much she eats, what her schedule is, where her vet is. It's scary how oblivious he is. Of course, if he were ever curious and asked, I'd tell him anything he wanted to know. It's just, he doesn't want to know because he knows I'll deal with all that stuff, so I guess it's partly my fault? I'm not angry about it though, I love being a dog owner, this is what I signed up for when we adopted our dog. It's just an observation. I happen to come from the place if it's your responsibility (like our dog and non-future kids would be), you should show an interest and engage yourself.

    Gabriel Garcia Marquez said it best, and I believe it applies to my boyfriend "If men gave birth, they'd be less inconsiderate."

    Though, he's not incosiderate so much as he's oblivious, which can often be mistaken for being inconsiderate.
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    having kids for sure...i can dump my fiance's sorry @ss, you can't walk away from your children...and my child isn't even biologically mine.
  • edorice
    edorice Posts: 4,519 Member
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    parenting
  • MisdemeanorM
    MisdemeanorM Posts: 3,493 Member
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    i can dump my fiance's sorry @ss, you can't walk away from your children...

    that's exactly what makes marriage harder! it's more work!

    i would say that parenting is more stressful and more time consuming, but marriage is more "work". i am sure this depends greatly on your spouse though! mine, is a lot more work!
  • BughaBear
    BughaBear Posts: 201
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    I would say bein a parent cause marriage is a 50/50 thing so u can give but so much and u should get it in return but bein a parent u have to live for the kids for a long time and make sure u teach them well so they can become great adults. A husband can go and u can find another but u will always have that child in ur life.
  • Laceylala
    Laceylala Posts: 3,094 Member
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    Being married is much much much harder for me.

    I have a four year old. The first two years were super hard and terrible at times and I still say being married is harder. Knowing you have to work at being married and make it work, whereas having kids there is no choice but to raise them and take care of them...even when marriage is good it is hard.
  • Laceylala
    Laceylala Posts: 3,094 Member
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    Oh and I agree - either would be easier than both. And perhaps that is why marriage and children at the same time is so crazy!
  • CricketKate
    CricketKate Posts: 3,657 Member
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    Being a parent makes being married harder. I have a fantastic husband and four wonderful children. I find that I have to work a lot harder at things that used to come easily with my spouse just because the children take up so much time and energy. It is harder to make time for dating and watching football and cooking things for work parties. My husband will ask me to come watch a game with him and he's trying to tell me to relax but all I can see is the unfolded laundry and the dirty dishes. I know that I was a better and more easy going wife before I became a mother.
  • CricketKate
    CricketKate Posts: 3,657 Member
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    Bump
  • sayuri1
    sayuri1 Posts: 111
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    I feel the same way!! I mean babies are so cute and you want to have the experience but it's a lifelong commitment and all the pressure it puts on your marriage. I've been with my happy for six years and people always asks us when we are going to start having children but we are happy like we are for now. Besides I don't like having to sacrifice my sleep. =)

    I read all these responses curiously because I am newly married and I give a lot of thought to whether or not to have children. Most of the time I think it will not happen, it would be a conscious decision and there will never be enough time or money, will never have done all that we wanted to, and even the choices between going back to work and leaving my baby with strangers, or not going back to work and spending all day with baby both sound horrible. I am not sure why anyone does it!
    I also considered what an earlier post said, either would be easier than both. I already picked husband:) I can't probably imagine how children would change our relationship.
    Oh, and I am not young, I'll be 35 in Feb and my ob/gyn said 35 was too late!
  • Laceylala
    Laceylala Posts: 3,094 Member
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    I feel the same way!! I mean babies are so cute and you want to have the experience but it's a lifelong commitment and all the pressure it puts on your marriage. I've been with my happy for six years and people always asks us when we are going to start having children but we are happy like we are for now. Besides I don't like having to sacrifice my sleep. =)

    I read all these responses curiously because I am newly married and I give a lot of thought to whether or not to have children. Most of the time I think it will not happen, it would be a conscious decision and there will never be enough time or money, will never have done all that we wanted to, and even the choices between going back to work and leaving my baby with strangers, or not going back to work and spending all day with baby both sound horrible. I am not sure why anyone does it!
    I also considered what an earlier post said, either would be easier than both. I already picked husband:) I can't probably imagine how children would change our relationship.
    Oh, and I am not young, I'll be 35 in Feb and my ob/gyn said 35 was too late!

    Lack of sleep the first two years, like little to none because my daughter was sick, is why I will not have any more of them.
  • asallen7
    asallen7 Posts: 301
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    LOL All of the above. They both require great patience and commitment--sometimes without reward.
  • LilynEdensmom
    LilynEdensmom Posts: 612 Member
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    I definately think being a parent is harder (not worse)..My girls are pretty good, but so much stress and worry...Me and my husband have a great relationship and friendship so being married is a piece of cake for me atleast.
  • cardbucfan
    cardbucfan Posts: 10,417 Member
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    Being a parent makes being married harder. I have a fantastic husband and four wonderful children. I find that I have to work a lot harder at things that used to come easily with my spouse just because the children take up so much time and energy. It is harder to make time for dating and watching football and cooking things for work parties. My husband will ask me to come watch a game with him and he's trying to tell me to relax but all I can see is the unfolded laundry and the dirty dishes. I know that I was a better and more easy going wife before I became a mother.

    This, this, this! Add in the conflicts when my husband and I disagree about something with the kids and it can make marriage incredibly difficult. We only have 2 kids and they are awesome and truly as they get older, I enjoy them so much more than I did when they were younger. But, their problems get bigger too and have more serious repercussions on the type of life they can have as adults. One of my friends said "you are only as happy as your saddest child" and it is absolutely the truth!
  • CricketKate
    CricketKate Posts: 3,657 Member
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    I'm really curious what people think . . . .bump

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