Unhelpful work colleagues

mtikky
mtikky Posts: 53 Member
in Motivation and Support
Does anyone work with someone who, despite them thinking they are being helpful and keeping you cheerful by bringing in cakes, and despite them knowing you have been carefully eating for the last two weeks to keep within your respective calorie counts, still insist on putting them on your desk even after you've said "no thankyou"...?
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Replies

  • refuseresist
    refuseresist Posts: 934 Member
    Yes. I drop them in the bin and say 'you don't get to tell me when or what I eat.'
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    throw the stuff in the trash.. problem solved.

    trust me, people stop bringing you things after you said no thanks if you jut throw it in the garbage or if they see a bit later sitting on the work kitchen counter with a note that says "free to good home"
  • mtikky
    mtikky Posts: 53 Member
    trust me, people stop bringing you things after you said no thanks if you jut throw it in the garbage or if they see a bit later sitting on the work kitchen counter with a note that says "free to good home"

    The fact I gave said cookie (Marks & Spencer white chocolate, so the best part of 400 calories) away may make the hint go in.
  • refuseresist
    refuseresist Posts: 934 Member
    They know you are clearly not happy, that is why you are trying to change. So they are not doing it to be nice. They don't want you succeeding and reminding them of all the failures in their own lives.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    This will sound way more jerky than I mean for it to.

    If you rely on your coworkers to help you eat healthier, move more, and lose weight/fat...you will be waiting a very very long time to make any real changes.
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
    Does anyone work with someone who, despite them thinking they are being helpful and keeping you cheerful by bringing in cakes, and despite them knowing you have been carefully eating for the last two weeks to keep within your respective calorie counts, still insist on putting them on your desk even after you've said "no thankyou"...?

    Diet sabotage. I've seen it many times. Sometimes you have to step up and be stern when they won't back off.
  • Chagama
    Chagama Posts: 543 Member
    Put it in the breakroom for others to eat. Make sure the person who gave it to you knows you are doing it.
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,064 Member
    At my work, people bring in stuff and leave it in our lunchroom. It doesn't bother me...just because I'm watching what I eat doesn't mean no one else can enjoy themselves.
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,064 Member
    This will sound way more jerky than I mean for it to.

    If you rely on your coworkers to help you eat healthier, move more, and lose weight/fat...you will be waiting a very very long time to make any real changes.

    ^THIS
  • refuseresist
    refuseresist Posts: 934 Member
    At my work, people bring in stuff and leave it in our lunchroom. It doesn't bother me...just because I'm watching what I eat doesn't mean no one else can enjoy themselves.

    But when they offer it to you directly and you say 'no thank you' do they then menacingly drop it on your desk in front of you?
  • parkscs
    parkscs Posts: 1,639 Member
    We just keep all the sweets in the breakroom (today it's chocolate peanut butter butter cake :noway: ). If someone brought it to you directly, I'd just thank them and put it in the breakroom for people to share.
  • refuseresist
    refuseresist Posts: 934 Member
    We just keep all the sweets in the breakroom (today it's chocolate peanut butter butter cake :noway: ). If someone brought it to you directly, I'd just thank them and put it in the breakroom for people to share.

    I'm too angry. I want to shove it in their face shouting 'YOU EAT IT! YOU EAT IT'
    I think I may have problems
  • nikkida_tisdale
    nikkida_tisdale Posts: 2 Member
    I would put it back on their desk. They are just rude!
  • climbing_trees
    climbing_trees Posts: 726 Member
    I'll usually toss it.

    If I say no, and they still insist, then it is really my choice what I do with it!
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    To be completely honest, they don't need to be helpful. This is just a fact of life that we all have to get used to. Don't sweat it. Have the cake sometimes. Say "no thanks" sometimes. Cake is not inherently evil. In fact, it's quite lovely.
  • parkscs
    parkscs Posts: 1,639 Member
    We just keep all the sweets in the breakroom (today it's chocolate peanut butter butter cake :noway: ). If someone brought it to you directly, I'd just thank them and put it in the breakroom for people to share.

    I'm too angry. I want to shove it in their face shouting 'YOU EAT IT! YOU EAT IT'
    I think I may have problems

    Meh. I just do my thing. There's nothing wrong with eating foods like that if you make room for them, but given that I'm maintaining a fairly low carb macro, there's really no place in my diet for it. And, in my office, they do eat it. Pretty sure this place runs on dessert, haha.
  • MrsG31
    MrsG31 Posts: 364 Member
    Yup, happens all the time.

    I work with a lot women who are just, I dunno, food-nosy? When they are hungry, they annouce it to the whole office. When they are dieting and only eating soup, or things that are green, or cutting out all bread/soda/....or whatever else stupid thing they are trying, they annouce it. And when someone is eating a lunch that looks remotely good or smells good, someone will walk by and say loudy "ooh, what you eating?" or for example what JUST happened to me as I read your thread - "Look at you with your healthy lunch." The worst is when someone I don't really talk to will slide up to my desk and get too close for comfort and ask me where I got my lunch, or if I cooked it, or something. Like I said....food-nosy? I think a lot of them are suffering through some inane diet and can't help salivating over everyone else's food. It gets old though and is very annoying.

    Oh and when you say "no thanks" to something, like this morning I said "no thanks" to a donut, it never ends there. Someone has to say something "Oh, look at her, being so good" but in more of a condescending tone.
  • refuseresist
    refuseresist Posts: 934 Member
    I have had a brilliant idea. Get a can of that rotted shark stuff from Denmark/ Iceland or wherever, offer them the closed can. When they decline, open the can and throw it on their desk. Run away shouting 'I'm only trying to be nice!'
  • mtikky
    mtikky Posts: 53 Member
    To be completely honest, they don't need to be helpful. This is just a fact of life that we all have to get used to. Don't sweat it. Have the cake sometimes. Say "no thanks" sometimes. Cake is not inherently evil. In fact, it's quite lovely.

    I'm on 1690 cals a day. So I had room for the doughnut but not the cookie.
  • refuseresist
    refuseresist Posts: 934 Member
    I have had a brilliant idea. Get a can of that rotted shark stuff from Denmark/ Iceland or wherever, offer them the closed can. When they decline, open the can and throw it on their desk. Run away shouting 'I'm only trying to be nice!'

    DO IT DO IT
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
    Beware - these are the very same people who, when a time comes that you decide "yes, I will have a treat today" (for whatever your reasons may be), will then start with all the "I thought you were watching what you eat" blah blah blah ...

    Develop a thick skin and stick to your convictions.
  • kjoy_
    kjoy_ Posts: 316 Member
    lol yeah but i just put it back on the table. it happens. people think that they're being nice when they do things like that so i wouldn't worry too much about it. if it's a willpower issue, tell them exactly why you are not eating it instead of just "no thanks"
  • spickard34
    spickard34 Posts: 303 Member
    A coworker of mine does this she knows I always watch what I eat and kept bring them. I would just take it and give it to one of the guys at my work or go as far as throw it out. I am the type one sweet things especially early in the day throws my whole day off wack. I know its a head thing but it still messes with me. The last time she left it on my desk and I returned it to her and said sorry but I wont eat this but thanks for thinking of me. She responded but you aren't fat you don't need a diet who cares it is just one snack and I told her why do you think Im not fat now because I don't eat this stuff anymore and walked away.
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
    They aren't there to help you.

    But they shouldn't be intentionally trying to set you up for failure either; RUDE. Just throw it out. Or just eat it sometimes. :D
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    I have had a brilliant idea. Get a can of that rotted shark stuff from Denmark/ Iceland or wherever, offer them the closed can. When they decline, open the can and throw it on their desk. Run away shouting 'I'm only trying to be nice!'

    :laugh: You're awesome.

    If I didn't want whatever it was they put on my desk, I'd put it right back where they got it. Let someone else have it.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    Does anyone work with someone who, despite them thinking they are being helpful and keeping you cheerful by bringing in cakes, and despite them knowing you have been carefully eating for the last two weeks to keep within your respective calorie counts, still insist on putting them on your desk even after you've said "no thankyou"...?

    I think bringing cake to your co-workers is a nice thing to do. But "unhelpful" is another way to look at it, I suppose ...

    Look, I have been and am on both sides of this. I've lost a lot of weight, so I've had to say no to free food at the office on many occasions (and still do). I also love to bake, so I bring stuff to work all the time. So I'm going to explain to you what goes through the mind of someone who likes to bake things for other people. We are care-takers by nature. We enjoy giving things to people. We tend to consider the needs and wants and feelings of everyone. And we think that even though you've said "no, thanks" many times, there still might be a day when you wish we had brought enough for you. So we always bring enough for you, and we always make sure you know you are welcome to have some.

    While it is certainly possible to fit cake into your diet, I am not going to be that person who says "Oh, you can do it every now and then" because I understand that "every now and then" becomes "all the time." So you're under no obligation of any kind to eat the cake. Throw it away or leave it in the break room for someone else. But try to understand they aren't intentionally being "unhelpful" to you. They are trying to show kindness to you.
  • aNewYear123
    aNewYear123 Posts: 279 Member
    Does anyone work with someone who, despite them thinking they are being helpful and keeping you cheerful by bringing in cakes, and despite them knowing you have been carefully eating for the last two weeks to keep within your respective calorie counts, still insist on putting them on your desk even after you've said "no thankyou"...?

    I think bringing cake to your co-workers is a nice thing to do. But "unhelpful" is another way to look at it, I suppose ...

    Look, I have been and am on both sides of this. I've lost a lot of weight, so I've had to say no to free food at the office on many occasions (and still do). I also love to bake, so I bring stuff to work all the time. So I'm going to explain to you what goes through the mind of someone who likes to bake things for other people. We are care-takers by nature. We enjoy giving things to people. We tend to consider the needs and wants and feelings of everyone. And we think that even though you've said "no, thanks" many times, there still might be a day when you wish we had brought enough for you. So we always bring enough for you, and we always make sure you know you are welcome to have some.

    While it is certainly possible to fit cake into your diet, I am not going to be that person who says "Oh, you can do it every now and then" because I understand that "every now and then" becomes "all the time." So you're under no obligation of any kind to eat the cake. Throw it away or leave it in the break room for someone else. But try to understand they aren't intentionally being "unhelpful" to you. They are trying to show kindness to you.

    ^^This

    I tend to just bring in the baked goods and leave them in the break room, if you want it take it. If I did hand items out individually (which seems weird to me) I would offer to everyone, even if I know you are on a diet, because I am not the food police to tell you not to eat something and maybe today is the day you feel like a treat.
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
    They know you are clearly not happy, that is why you are trying to change. So they are not doing it to be nice. They don't want you succeeding and reminding them of all the failures in their own lives.
    I don't know if I'd go THAT far, maybe some people. I just think some people are truly clueless that what they do doesn't help. So just politely say no thank you, and if they say, well I'll just leave it here for you, let them. You can decide if you want to throw it out or give it away later.
  • therealblackdahlia
    therealblackdahlia Posts: 3,110 Member
    Yes, yes and yes. There are plenty of food pushers at work. I don't accept the food and I get 'it will personally offend me if you don't have something.'

    I don't eat white four and they continually try to get me to eat doughnuts! What gives?

    Sometimes I just except the item and throw it in the trash. I'd rather they respected that I eat what I want and when I want. I'm an adult!

    Best,
    BD
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
    Does anyone work with someone who, despite them thinking they are being helpful and keeping you cheerful by bringing in cakes, and despite them knowing you have been carefully eating for the last two weeks to keep within your respective calorie counts, still insist on putting them on your desk even after you've said "no thankyou"...?

    I think bringing cake to your co-workers is a nice thing to do. But "unhelpful" is another way to look at it, I suppose ...

    Look, I have been and am on both sides of this. I've lost a lot of weight, so I've had to say no to free food at the office on many occasions (and still do). I also love to bake, so I bring stuff to work all the time. So I'm going to explain to you what goes through the mind of someone who likes to bake things for other people. We are care-takers by nature. We enjoy giving things to people. We tend to consider the needs and wants and feelings of everyone. And we think that even though you've said "no, thanks" many times, there still might be a day when you wish we had brought enough for you. So we always bring enough for you, and we always make sure you know you are welcome to have some.

    While it is certainly possible to fit cake into your diet, I am not going to be that person who says "Oh, you can do it every now and then" because I understand that "every now and then" becomes "all the time." So you're under no obligation of any kind to eat the cake. Throw it away or leave it in the break room for someone else. But try to understand they aren't intentionally being "unhelpful" to you. They are trying to show kindness to you.

    ^^This

    I tend to just bring in the baked goods and leave them in the break room, if you want it take it. If I did hand items out individually (which seems weird to me) I would offer to everyone, even if I know you are on a diet, because I am not the food police to tell you not to eat something and maybe today is the day you feel like a treat.

    quite true. I've had coworkers who just love to bake (I do myself), and then bring in the goodies and leave 'em out for whoever chooses to partake. Those who are dieting choose not to. I do think it's rude to just put it on someone's desk after they've politely refused, though.

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