Unhelpful work colleagues

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Replies

  • Make yourself look skinny by making the people around you fat :D

    I have learned the art of pawning my goodies to other people especially during the holidays. If I got the goodies from work, I'd bring it home for everyone else to eat. If I got the goodies from home, I'd bring it to work for my co-workers to eat. Problem solved! :D
  • chopper_pilot
    chopper_pilot Posts: 191 Member
    Part of changing your lifestyle is accepting personal responsibility.

    You ever see someone practicing shooting a bow and arrow- i mean when they first learn?

    There is always a teacher there standing on their right, watching them aim... breathe.... and just before they let loose... the instructor leans in and blows on their ear or makes a noise or startles them... and they miss their mark on their shot.

    And this happens over and over and over until the apprentice can aim shoot and hit their target amid distraction.

    Because you don't live in a controlled environment, whether at war or on a diet. There will be distractions always. You have to learn how to aim, shoot and hit your mark, no matter who is distracting you.

    You have to hone your own skills so that you can still thrive and advance amid distractions.

    Because if you concentrate on eliminating all the distractions or blaming all the distractions, instead of learning to work with them... then you'll never run out of enemies.

    Stop fighting distraction. Spend that effort perfecting your focus and determination.
  • jennybennypenny
    jennybennypenny Posts: 90 Member
    I have a coworker/friend who bakes A LOT, and she's really good at it--I mean, salted caramel brownie cookie sandwiches? And made from scratch? Wow. Generally she's really proud of whatever she bakes, and will tell me about it and then bring me in one the next day. Sometimes these things are HUGE calorie bombs. What do I do? *If* I want to eat it I check my diary to see if I can swap out a few things to make it fit. Or even half of whatever it is to make it fit and leave the other half at work to eat the next day. (I'll put it in my desk drawer or the office fridge or something so it's not staring me in the face all day.) Or take it home and give it to my husband. Or take it to [sports] and give it to a teammate. If I don't think it's worth it or I don't really like whatever it is she baked, I won't eat it. You ultimately control what goes in your mouth.

    The person who's giving you food is doing it because that's what they used to do and you used to like them doing it. You need to figure out how you are you going to handle it. If that means throwing it away, throw it away. If that means taking one bite and throwing it away, do that. It was really hard for me at first, but don't feel like the food is taking you hostage :)
  • JasonAxelrod
    JasonAxelrod Posts: 58 Member
    If you've made it very clear to this person that this is not acceptable because it does the exact opposite of support your efforts, and they are STILL doing it, go and speak with HR and let them handle it.

    No, that is not an overreaction.

    You don't need to deal with this and if you can't get it through their head that they are being disruptive to your comfort of living and your workplace environment, HR definitely will.
  • chopper_pilot
    chopper_pilot Posts: 191 Member
    SMDH

    SMDH
  • chopper_pilot
    chopper_pilot Posts: 191 Member
    people will use any excuse to blame others for their own lack of willpower.
  • 9chimera11
    9chimera11 Posts: 40 Member
    No one really understand what it is like to be on a weight-loss journey unless they have taken it themselves. So don't be too harsh on your colleagues if they do a nice thing such as sharing a piece of cake with you.

    Instead why not just take it, say 'thank you' and then just throw it away discreetly. This way everyone's happy. :)
  • Chezzie84
    Chezzie84 Posts: 873 Member
    Does anyone work with someone who, despite them thinking they are being helpful and keeping you cheerful by bringing in cakes, and despite them knowing you have been carefully eating for the last two weeks to keep within your respective calorie counts, still insist on putting them on your desk even after you've said "no thankyou"...?

    Fortunately I have extremely supportive colleagues who do not tempt me with things I don't want to have.
    Unfortunately I am not so lucky with members of my family.
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
    No idea what your stats are but if you're too skinny, it could be a polite attempt at a hint.
  • mtikky
    mtikky Posts: 53 Member
    No idea what your stats are but if you're too skinny, it could be a polite attempt at a hint.

    5' 10", 279lb when I weighed myself six days ago, XXXL polo shirts.

    Thanks for the mostly positive feedback from everyone. "Just say no" seems to be the predominant answer.

    chopper_pilot I have no issue with willpower... it's when cakes are brought in and put directly onto your desk even after saying no thankyou, is what I was debating about. I know I don't need or want cake, I want less X's in my shirt size. I can however understand that you may have been sceptical about my OP. Since I ended up speaking to my work colleague, I haven't been offered any more 'bad' foods, and it seems to have cleared the air and made for a better working environment. Plus I cut another 25 seconds off my 2000m row time in the office gym this morning...
  • mtikky
    mtikky Posts: 53 Member
    people will use any excuse to blame others for their own lack of willpower.

    Putting a cake directly on the desk in front of someone is, I will admit, a big test of will power.

    I was half beaten in my OP.

    It will not defeat me again.
  • LivingJuicy
    LivingJuicy Posts: 54 Member
    It is one thing to leave it in the breakroom for everyone to enjoy, it is quite another to put it directly on your desk, even after you've said "No, thank you." I have found that most of the time, saying "I can't, doctor's orders." stops even the food pushers in their tracks.
  • mortuseon
    mortuseon Posts: 579 Member
    Worse than coworkers are family members, imo, because they usually get personally offended/concerned if you don't accept the mountains of gluttony they bestow upon you in an attempt to show that they care.
  • Ughhggg Sabotage.. I hate it. My supervisor bought Pizza Hut for everyone last week. It's hard to turn down greasy goodness :(
  • chopper_pilot
    chopper_pilot Posts: 191 Member
    must suck having family that loves you.
  • anro86
    anro86 Posts: 790 Member
    Yup, happens all the time.

    I work with a lot women who are just, I dunno, food-nosy? When they are hungry, they annouce it to the whole office. When they are dieting and only eating soup, or things that are green, or cutting out all bread/soda/....or whatever else stupid thing they are trying, they annouce it. And when someone is eating a lunch that looks remotely good or smells good, someone will walk by and say loudy "ooh, what you eating?" or for example what JUST happened to me as I read your thread - "Look at you with your healthy lunch." The worst is when someone I don't really talk to will slide up to my desk and get too close for comfort and ask me where I got my lunch, or if I cooked it, or something. Like I said....food-nosy? I think a lot of them are suffering through some inane diet and can't help salivating over everyone else's food. It gets old though and is very annoying.

    Oh and when you say "no thanks" to something, like this morning I said "no thanks" to a donut, it never ends there. Someone has to say something "Oh, look at her, being so good" but in more of a condescending tone.

    I didn’t know you worked in my office! What a coincidence!!!
  • jzs20
    jzs20 Posts: 58 Member
    I deal with that @ my job pretty much everyday...
    they gather around and look and comment on my lunch. "what are u rabbit" "what kind of kids meal did u pack today?"
    dumb **** like that... i shrug it off and just let them get off.

    People love to drag u down if u let them.
    stay focused and keep doing what ur doing.

    f all of those who don't support u
  • Karen_LM
    Karen_LM Posts: 61 Member
    This will sound way more jerky than I mean for it to.

    If you rely on your coworkers to help you eat healthier, move more, and lose weight/fat...you will be waiting a very very long time to make any real changes.

    I dont think it is so much relying on them for help, as finding them to be actively unhelpful. Wait kind of person gives junk food to someone they know is watching their diet, as 'encouragement'? That is way jerky.
  • Karen_LM
    Karen_LM Posts: 61 Member
    I deal with that @ my job pretty much everyday...
    they gather around and look and comment on my lunch. "what are u rabbit" "what kind of kids meal did u pack today?"
    dumb **** like that... i shrug it off and just let them get off.

    Idiots. You are the better man. Keep it up!
  • CipherZero
    CipherZero Posts: 1,418 Member
    Yes, yes and yes. There are plenty of food pushers at work. I don't accept the food and I get 'it will personally offend me if you don't have something.'

    "Be prepared to be offended then."

    Seriously, there's no reason to be civil to total *kitten*.
  • MyFoodGod
    MyFoodGod Posts: 184 Member
    When they put it on your desk, reply with a big smile "no thanks, doctor's orders," and let them watch you dump it in the trash. Then throw some water or coffee in top of it so no one can eat it. Then maybe get up and head for the men's room.

    Take a little power away from them and give them something to talk about.

    If an overweight person is giving you food add "I don't want a bigger butt than I already have." Engage them in some diet talk, like "have you ever gone to weight watchers?" Simple question without being too direct about their own food issues. Put them on the defensive in a passive aggressive way.

    Sounds like you work with a bunch of adults acting like they are still in high school.
  • MyFoodGod
    MyFoodGod Posts: 184 Member
    Part of changing your lifestyle is accepting personal responsibility.

    You ever see someone practicing shooting a bow and arrow- i mean when they first learn?

    There is always a teacher there standing on their right, watching them aim... breathe.... and just before they let loose... the instructor leans in and blows on their ear or makes a noise or startles them... and they miss their mark on their shot.

    And this happens over and over and over until the apprentice can aim shoot and hit their target amid distraction.

    Because you don't live in a controlled environment, whether at war or on a diet. There will be distractions always. You have to learn how to aim, shoot and hit your mark, no matter who is distracting you.

    You have to hone your own skills so that you can still thrive and advance amid distractions.

    Because if you concentrate on eliminating all the distractions or blaming all the distractions, instead of learning to work with them... then you'll never run out of enemies.

    Stop fighting distraction. Spend that effort perfecting your focus and determination.

    Once they know you are dieting, pushing food is as bad as offering an alcoholic a beer or a Muslim a ham sandwich. Coworkers should show some respect and back off.
  • chopper_pilot
    chopper_pilot Posts: 191 Member
    Part of changing your lifestyle is accepting personal responsibility.

    You ever see someone practicing shooting a bow and arrow- i mean when they first learn?

    There is always a teacher there standing on their right, watching them aim... breathe.... and just before they let loose... the instructor leans in and blows on their ear or makes a noise or startles them... and they miss their mark on their shot.

    And this happens over and over and over until the apprentice can aim shoot and hit their target amid distraction.

    Because you don't live in a controlled environment, whether at war or on a diet. There will be distractions always. You have to learn how to aim, shoot and hit your mark, no matter who is distracting you.

    You have to hone your own skills so that you can still thrive and advance amid distractions.

    Because if you concentrate on eliminating all the distractions or blaming all the distractions, instead of learning to work with them... then you'll never run out of enemies.

    Stop fighting distraction. Spend that effort perfecting your focus and determination.

    Once they know you are dieting, pushing food is as bad as offering an alcoholic a beer or a Muslim a ham sandwich. Coworkers should show some respect and back off.

    Why? they're not the ones trying to lose weight. They arent the ones that neglected their health levels. They're not the ones who promised a lifestyle change. They just live on the planet with us.

    You want a change? it is entirely 100% up to you and you cannot babyproof the entire world to be more convenient for your personal make-up work, to get back to where you need to be. Where you are in control enough to not have to eat everytime there is a person holding food near you, eating near you, offering you a bite.

    You are responsible for saying No.

    And it isnt as though someone is tying you down and cramming food into your mouth, you are a legal adult and allowed to say No.

    Unless they are force feeding you food, in which you should call the police now, while your hands are free.

    You cannot DEMAND respect because you dont have willpower.

    You can only EARN respect by displaying your willpower to stick to your own guns.
  • Crateria_
    Crateria_ Posts: 253 Member
    Yes yes. They come in with Pizza, Candy, Cake, etc and always offer me some. Then they say "Ohhhhh. I forgot... you're on a diet"

    :(
  • MyFoodGod
    MyFoodGod Posts: 184 Member
    Part of changing your lifestyle is accepting personal responsibility.

    You ever see someone practicing shooting a bow and arrow- i mean when they first learn?

    There is always a teacher there standing on their right, watching them aim... breathe.... and just before they let loose... the instructor leans in and blows on their ear or makes a noise or startles them... and they miss their mark on their shot.

    And this happens over and over and over until the apprentice can aim shoot and hit their target amid distraction.

    Because you don't live in a controlled environment, whether at war or on a diet. There will be distractions always. You have to learn how to aim, shoot and hit your mark, no matter who is distracting you.

    You have to hone your own skills so that you can still thrive and advance amid distractions.

    Because if you concentrate on eliminating all the distractions or blaming all the distractions, instead of learning to work with them... then you'll never run out of enemies.

    Stop fighting distraction. Spend that effort perfecting your focus and determination.

    Once they know you are dieting, pushing food is as bad as offering an alcoholic a beer or a Muslim a ham sandwich. Coworkers should show some respect and back off.

    Why? they're not the ones trying to lose weight. They arent the ones that neglected their health levels. They're not the ones who promised a lifestyle change. They just live on the planet with us.

    You want a change? it is entirely 100% up to you and you cannot babyproof the entire world to be more convenient for your personal make-up work, to get back to where you need to be. Where you are in control enough to not have to eat everytime there is a person holding food near you, eating near you, offering you a bite.

    You are responsible for saying No.

    And it isnt as though someone is tying you down and cramming food into your mouth, you are a legal adult and allowed to say No.

    Unless they are force feeding you food, in which you should call the police now, while your hands are free.

    You cannot DEMAND respect because you dont have willpower.

    You can only EARN respect by displaying your willpower to stick to your own guns.

    Bringing to someone's desk is different than leaving out in the kitchen etc for those who want to go get it.
  • fluffy_fuwa
    fluffy_fuwa Posts: 5 Member
    CRABS IN A BUCKET

    It' a idiom...

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_mentality
  • Indiri13
    Indiri13 Posts: 104 Member
    I have a person at work who does that but we are in an active competition where he fully admits to trying to sabotage me. This person knows exactly what they are trying to do to you so you are not required to worrying about "offending" them. Putting it straight into the trash in front of them once or twice will get the point across.
  • I have my coworkers and friends do this. I tell my friends I have an unhealthy relationship with food, and that I sometimes feel excessive guilt concerning food, and every time I see them, they say "Let's go get ice cream!" or offer me a cookie, or wants to go to a place where everything is fried and I sit there feeling awful eating a veggie burger (again) and cursing myself for ever agreeing to go. They know I have a history with unhealthy restrictive eating habits and obsessing about my weight and food, but whenever I mention a place that has healthy options, they complain that "That's not food, that's what food eats" and wants to go to the burger place where she can get the 1/2 bacon burger (meaning the actual patty is made half out of bacon) and then want to go to ice cream after, or to the pasta place and tease me for ordering minestrone. Because usually I'm one in a group and the only one who wears herself into a panic over her weight, I get outvoted

    I also work at a casino, and the employee entrance is right next to the kitchen, so I'm constantly smelling cakes and food and all manner of fattening stuff. The employee cafeteria usually has about 6 options, at least four of which are usually fried or slathered in some sort of fatty sauce. It's like they're trying to kill us. They also leave massive trays of cupcakes in the center of the employee dining room for us every other week.

    Then, when I bring home-made salad dressing and eat little to none of what's offered at work (save for lettuce and occasionally a bit of rice or an egg white or some avocado), people ask me what kind of diet I'm on.

    There's nothing for it, unfortunately. Just have to accept that they're on a different page and forage ahead on your own. If your life is like mine, there will be very few people who are actually supportive and really make effort to help. Count the others as speed-bumps.