Commenting on a persons weight loss.

2456

Replies

  • runitskat
    runitskat Posts: 30
    It sounds like you lost weight just to throw it in everyone's face to get back at anyone who's said anything mean about you. And it's not going to well. Good luck with that.
  • Rage_Phish
    Rage_Phish Posts: 1,507 Member
    At Michele.........

    You know what is ironic about this whole situation?

    The people that do not give comments are the ones that used your weight against you when they could. The ones that do give compliments are the ones that never did.

    in your experience i guess. But based off your previous posts im guessing you have imagined some of these slights against you.
  • KrazyDaizy
    KrazyDaizy Posts: 815 Member
    Heeeeeeeeyyyyy! I just noticed no one congratulated you on your weight loss here! Great job your body is looking fit!


    Now let's work on your mind, mmmmkay. Not everyone is going to say something, just move on...it probably really doesn't have anything to do with you as to why they didn't say anything.
  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member
    At Michele.........

    You know what is ironic about this whole situation?

    The people that do not give comments are the ones that used your weight against you when they could. The ones that do give compliments are the ones that never did.

    People suck. The sooner you realize that the better off you will be. You made a decision to better yourself, good for you. You don't need reassurance from anyone else.

    Edited to add - life is much easier when you concentrate on the other 9 instead of the 1.
  • stephenryan758
    stephenryan758 Posts: 72 Member
    What I never understood is why someone would be upset if someone said "Wow you are not fat anymore."

    Isn't that the whole point to eating better and working out? To not be as fat as you once were?
  • AwesomelyAmber
    AwesomelyAmber Posts: 1,617 Member
    I get what you are trying to say. It is super awesome when people do voice their congrats and such... and it does make you pause a second when people whom you KNOW notice say nothing. You simply cannot let it get to you. Probably more THEM than YOU.

    and yes, some people are nervous to comment on the changes that others make for themselves for not knowing what the response will be.

    I live with the pleasure (for myself) of telling people when they look good, whether it's weight loss, a nice shirt, cute haircut, whatever it may be. No matter how THEY feel about the COMPLIMENT... giving the compliment makes my day brighter. To each their own.
  • Levesque_7
    Levesque_7 Posts: 104
    Cause its annoying to think about why people would be jealous enough to not comment on someones weight? How old are we here? 10? I'm not better than anyone but this is how I feel.......... Say a person walks in a room and 9 people say "Wow you look great! You lost a lot of weight."

    Then you have that one person who won't even say hi to you. As an adult that behavior comes off as "How dare everyone give him attention and not me!"

    Very childish and immature.

    sorry but it sounds like YOU are the one saying "how dare everyone not give me ALL the attention". Sounds childish on your part and need constant reassurance. who cares what they think? grow up
  • biggsterjackster
    biggsterjackster Posts: 419 Member
    Do you really need these compliments? What difference does it make. You lose weight for yourself, not for others.
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
    Why would you expect people to comment or congratulate you? I'm not saying it's a bad thing that people do so, I just don't understand why do you believe people should congratulate you. I personally don't like it when people comment about my weight loss... don't like it and don't need it.

    This.

    So much. Who cares? If it's that important that you get compliments you have other issues
  • dressagester
    dressagester Posts: 53 Member
    this is an oddly specific situation and since we don't know your history with this person, I can only assume that they've not been very nice to you in the past so in response you've decided to weirdly anonymously call them out on a public forum - where they will never find out about it - because you were expecting them to suddenly compliment you now that you've lost weight. The world does not revolve around you, and maybe that person knows it.

    I think you're on to something here.
  • runitskat
    runitskat Posts: 30
    You really don't see the problem with that?
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
    Maybe the people that are not commenting are just not happy with themselves.

    Maybe they aren't commenting because they do not tie a person's value to their weight.
  • stephenryan758
    stephenryan758 Posts: 72 Member
    I will admit the people that are not saying anything are the ones that always thought they were better than others. If you heard the stuff they said about people I can only imagine the things they said about me when I went from skinny to fat. Now Im not fat anymore so they are probably really upset their fat jokes don't make sense about me anymore. Yes it is annoying cause I never did anything to them.
  • creativerick
    creativerick Posts: 270 Member
    People don't always congratulate me on gaining 30+ lbs of muscle since high school... They don't tell me, oh man you look shredded, or damn man, you're so big. Okay maybe some do, but I don't expect any compliments. Why would I?
  • joesimtre
    joesimtre Posts: 48 Member
    Weight is such a touchy subject. You never know what peoples intentions are with how they look. You wouldn't want them to say "hey you look fat, are you gaining weight..." so some people take notice and then they will ask a friend or something. All that really matters is that you notice and you are happy. What everyone else thinks is like sprinkles on ice cream.... Some people need it, but most of us don't care if we get them or not because we appreciate the flavor we selected. Good luck in your journey.
  • AnotherOrangeCat
    AnotherOrangeCat Posts: 54
    I once told an acquaintance: "Have you lost weight? You look good". She gave me an incredibly dirty look and responded "I've been very ill". I apologized, but that relationship never recovered, she doesn't even say hello to me anymore.

    Not to mention that some people hate comments on their weight, no matter how positive.
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
    I will admit the people that are not saying anything are the ones that always thought they were better than others. If you heard the stuff they said about people I can only imagine the things they said about me when I went from skinny to fat. Now Im not fat anymore so they are probably really upset their fat jokes don't make sense about me anymore. Yes it is annoying cause I never did anything to them.

    What makes you think that if they ALREADY talk crap about people, they are going to give you any compliments?

    And they probably don't think about you as nearly much as you are thinking about them. You should let it go.
  • doIlhands
    doIlhands Posts: 349 Member
    Maybe they didn't like you before you started losing weight, they don't have to suck up to you now. I can see how that would happen....
  • sfbaumgarten
    sfbaumgarten Posts: 912 Member
    What makes you think that if they ALREADY talk crap about people, they are going to give you any compliments?

    Because he's entitled to them.
  • Shedding4Wedding2014
    Shedding4Wedding2014 Posts: 92 Member
    Welcome to real life....
  • lessofless
    lessofless Posts: 40 Member
    I don't think it is anyone's obligation to tell you that you look good. It is nice when it happens, but you shouldn't expect it.

    Personally, I don't like talking about my weight. I wouldn't want everyone in my life to say something. It's ok every now and then, but I don't want a running commentary from everyone in my life on my size. Because I feel this way, I would be reluctant to say something to someone else unless we are really close or they brought it up first. It's just not my place.
  • stephenryan758
    stephenryan758 Posts: 72 Member
    Because of this..........

    I was raised to always be happy for others if I notice them doing positive things. If I see a person make changes in their life for the better, I tell them about it and say Its really nice. I was raised to treat others the way you want to be treated.

    The only reasonable explanation that people would not say anything who know you and know you are proud of your accomplishments , is childish behavior. Im not better than anyone else so why would they be jealous of my weight loss? What in the world?

    Some people just can't ever be happy for anyone. That is true.
  • JONZ64
    JONZ64 Posts: 1,280 Member
    My weight my business, your weight your business.

    Weight loss shouldn't require the validation from others, it's a personal thing.

    This. I actually find compliments awkward because I have no idea what to say back to the person.

    I just posted a topic earlier about a Nurse saying "Have you been working out?" but she said it when she was standing behind me and my pants were down.............awkward (but funny!) for both of us
  • liloldDee
    liloldDee Posts: 92 Member
    At Michele.........

    You know what is ironic about this whole situation?

    The people that do not give comments are the ones that used your weight against you when they could. The ones that do give compliments are the ones that never did.

    Maybe they are not giving compliments because try think you shouldn't have had such a significant weight problem in the first place? Many people don't understand why people allow themselves to gain weight, they think it's unhealthy and self inflicted and for the most part they're right, I'm very overweight so I'm not one of these people but I can see their point of view. I'm very embarrassed to have let myself get to this point, I don't want or need praise for when I lose the weight, I would much rather people didn't comment and I'm absolutely determined that this time around I will not entertain long conversations about how I did it, how well I look, how big I was. You sound very immature.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
    Ummm... sometimes it has nothing to do with that.

    My 5ft tall mother went from 155 lbs to about 105 lbs in a short period of time. She wasn't trying to lose weight. she had liver cancer. :ohwell:

    I know that unless I know SPECIFICALLY that someone is working to lose weight, I try not to say anything because I don't want to congratulate someone on a weightloss that has to do with being on chemo for a life-threatening illness. I'm not being jealous or rude to the individual, I'm just being careful.

    Perhaps some of the folks who have remained silent about your weight loss have a similar mentality to mine.

    Exactly this. I don't comment on a person's weight loss usually because it has the potential to be awkward. I always feel awkward when someone comments on mine, and my weight loss was completely normal and healthy.

    And even if a person is choosing to lose weight, how do you know they're going about it a healthy way? I don't want to compliment someone if they're losing weight doing a juice fast. :noway:
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
    I would try to see if from myself and other repliers point of view. I hate it. Someone says "Wow, you've lost a ton of weight!" and I'm hearing "Wow, you used to be so fat!"
  • Phoenix_Warrior
    Phoenix_Warrior Posts: 1,633 Member
    Because of this..........

    I was raised to always be happy for others if I notice them doing positive things. If I see a person make changes in their life for the better, I tell them about it and say Its really nice. I was raised to treat others the way you want to be treated.

    The only reasonable explanation that people would not say anything who know you and know you are proud of your accomplishments , is childish behavior. Im not better than anyone else so why would they be jealous of my weight loss? What in the world?

    I didn't realize weight loss was purely for back pats and recognition. If you know you're doing great, then good for you. That's all that matters. I think it's a tad egotistical to be offended that someone didn't compliment you. Sounds like you're the one being childish.
  • brandnewsnickerpuss
    brandnewsnickerpuss Posts: 110 Member
    Not to mention the time that I told a colleague, "Wow, you did, like, a total makeover!" only to later find out that she'd been getting chemo and was wearing a wig, there is also the point that sometimes commenting on a person's weight can trigger their eating disorder behaviour, and I don't want to be responsible for that. I stick to things like, "You're looking great!" and leave it at that.

    Meanwhile, the person who doesn't say anything to you either didn't notice, doesn't care or doesn't have anything nice to say. Face it, not everyone likes everyone in this world. If all they have to say is, "About time you eased up on the pizza, fatty" would you really wanna hear that?
  • 1PatientBear
    1PatientBear Posts: 2,089 Member
    Because of this..........

    I was raised to always be happy for others if I notice them doing positive things. If I see a person make changes in their life for the better, I tell them about it and say Its really nice. I was raised to treat others the way you want to be treated.

    The only reasonable explanation that people would not say anything who know you and know you are proud of your accomplishments , is childish behavior. Im not better than anyone else so why would they be jealous of my weight loss? What in the world?

    Some people just can't ever be happy for anyone. That is true.

    Or maybe, just maybe, they don't care one way or the other. Get over yourself dude. No one owes you compliments just because you lost weight.
  • tibby531
    tibby531 Posts: 717 Member
    haters gonna hate.

Categories