Going on a date with someone I'm not interested in?

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135

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  • ModernNerd
    ModernNerd Posts: 336 Member
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    Downvoting this idea big time. I've got a twin brother so I've seen the guy's side of this, and in my opinion it's not particularly respectful. Man up, tell him clearly that you're not interested, and leave him be. You'd be playing him for a fool by leading him on (and telling yourself it isn't a date despite his obvious interest in you is just silly), and you'd be wasting both your time.

    Credentials: 21 years of experience as executive guard-dog twin sister :flowerforyou:
  • tumblyweed
    tumblyweed Posts: 416 Member
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    Just...say...no
  • thatonegirlwiththestuff
    thatonegirlwiththestuff Posts: 1,171 Member
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    tell him you can't because you're moving to yemen.

    tumblr_mrzqycHCXR1rb97lyo3_250.gif

    :laugh:
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
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    Just tell him straight up you're not interested. One shot to head and it will kill his hope to catch you and let me immediately move one. Sometimes girls try to be too nice in their rejections and end up letting the guy emotionally bleed to death over a couple or few months months before they'll let the feeling go

    He's asked me out multiple times over the past year I'd say. Makes me feel really crappy now lol.
  • vienna_h
    vienna_h Posts: 428 Member
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    Noooo. I've done that too, NOT WORTH IT.

    You don't have to be 'nice' to these kinds of people. You need to cut all ties. They get all obsessed and somehow it becomes 'your fault' and there is something wrong with 'you' instead of them. You've been nice already and have made yourself clear: you are not interested - yet they persist. It's a huge red flag alert of someone not mentally balanced.

    People like this are selfish and make you feel bad for doing nothing wrong. Stop communicating with him. Delete from facebook.
  • trainingman123
    trainingman123 Posts: 58 Member
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    I would break the news to him, and nip a potential problem in the bud. No point in leading him on if you are not interested. Same goes with other facts of life, like a salesman selling you stuff you don't want. Do you say "sure come in and tell me about the stuff you're selling that no one wants" or do you say "goodbye"? Same thing.
  • Tigg_er
    Tigg_er Posts: 22,001 Member
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    The last time I was honest with a guy about not being interested, he called me ugly and fat lol. I'm not too good at this.

    If he said that it should make you feel good that you made the right choice. What a dirtbag ! Trust yourself , you will be happier in the long run.
  • spacelump
    spacelump Posts: 233 Member
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    You never know. Try and be honest after you give him a chance, I say.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
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    usually when someone does not take my simple "no"

    I then tell them how not attracted to them I am so they leave me alone (but most of the time they insult my appearance like the vile maggot I knew they were ) and then stomp off ..confirming my initial feeling of them being disgusting
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
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    I would break the news to him, and nip a potential problem in the bud. No point in leading him on if you are not interested. Same goes with other facts of life, like a salesman selling you stuff you don't want. Do you say "sure come in and tell me about the stuff you're selling that no one wants" or do you say "goodbye"? Same thing.

    I actually let the salesman tell me about the product and then reply with something like, "maybe next time." lol. I'm too nice I guess. Thanks for all the replies though. (:
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
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    This means you're going to the date, right? :laugh: :laugh:

    I'm joking, I'm joking.
    Unless you're going to the date? :tongue:
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    well, what's wrong with him, why AREN'T you interested in him.

    She said he was a nice guy in the original post. That's the reason. Nice guys don't excite women from an emotional standpoint. They are the khaki pants of people.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    Considering the original question, don't bother going on the date. If you are not into him, and you've made up your mind already, it is going to be a waste of time for both of you. Just say that you are not interested and you are never going to be interested. Say you'd rather him spend his time focused on better prospects.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
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    She said he was a nice guy in the original post. That's the reason. Nice guys don't excite women from an emotional standpoint. They are the khaki pants of people.

    once again, you've missed another golden opportunity to keep your piehole shut.

    :yawn:
  • snowbear1005
    snowbear1005 Posts: 79 Member
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    Stop making excuses and just tell him you're not interested. Be direct, be clear, and be firm. Otherwise, you'll never see the end of him.
  • Sapphire3002
    Sapphire3002 Posts: 112 Member
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    In my opinion it is better to be clear that you are not interested instead of letting him get his hopes up by going out with him. If he has asked you out that many times you saying yes to the date will put him on a high and he may get frantic when you let him down on the date because of all the hope he's coming down off of. If you really do want to still go out let it be known you are going to hang out as friends so there's less pressure on both ends. You sound like a really nice person I'm sure that is why he's so into you, but don't feel bad about going for what you want as well. That is what he is doing right? :)
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
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    Don't go. Just be honest, it's so much better that way. Why make the guy think there might be a chance?
  • kelly_e_montana
    kelly_e_montana Posts: 1,999 Member
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    Don't do it, because it gives them hope when there isn't any. Then he starts to bother you even more because there's that glimmer of hope. I know from experience.

    ^^^^^^This.
  • kelly_e_montana
    kelly_e_montana Posts: 1,999 Member
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    I would break the news to him, and nip a potential problem in the bud. No point in leading him on if you are not interested. Same goes with other facts of life, like a salesman selling you stuff you don't want. Do you say "sure come in and tell me about the stuff you're selling that no one wants" or do you say "goodbye"? Same thing.

    I actually let the salesman tell me about the product and then reply with something like, "maybe next time." lol. I'm too nice I guess. Thanks for all the replies though. (:

    Having been in sales and having been on dates, that's not actually the nicest way to go about it. Being nice is helping other people avoid putting effort into something that isn't going to work. Be direct; it's much more kind.
  • MsJulielicious
    MsJulielicious Posts: 708 Member
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    It's not about being too nice. It's about a fear of confrontation.
    You don't want him. Be direct.
    That is "being nice"

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