Question is about my 7 year old daughter who weighs 80lbs
Pickle_Ninja
Posts: 13
So I guess its more I want direction on where to look..I know this site if for adults and I am a member here not my 7 year old of course. So I don't know what to do. I am doing my best to show by example how to eat. And I do as much as I can control what she's eating. But for as long as she could talk and walk she will want to eat constantly. Anytime a different person in the house wants a snack she needs a snack too. (not everyone wants a snack at the same time, so as you can imagine she's trying to double up on snacks constantly) I try my best to control this..but at the same time I don't want to make it into a big deal as if she has a problem. Don't want her with issues.. I mean I was once called chubby (when I wasn't) as a kid and I swear is scarred me for life.
So what do I do? She's in school 5 days a week and I know she must bum food from other kids...I don't want to bring it up to her teacher etc cause its embarassing. And I don't want her to feel singled out.
Anyways she is tall she's about 4ft so fairly tall, and she's 80 lbs. 80! is that really bad? see I don't even know she's got a fair amount of rolls.
Seems like it should be a simple solution, control control control..but how do I do that without singling her out?
So what do I do? She's in school 5 days a week and I know she must bum food from other kids...I don't want to bring it up to her teacher etc cause its embarassing. And I don't want her to feel singled out.
Anyways she is tall she's about 4ft so fairly tall, and she's 80 lbs. 80! is that really bad? see I don't even know she's got a fair amount of rolls.
Seems like it should be a simple solution, control control control..but how do I do that without singling her out?
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Replies
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Talk to her pediatrician, who is qualified to give you great advice and guidance on what's normal for your daughter and strategies to help her develop healthy eating habits, or rule out potential problems that could be making her hungry.0
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What is her paediatrician/family doc's opinion? Do they think she is overweight? There are dieticians/nutritionists who work with kids and they can give you great tips about how to handle this.
I wonder if you could take her with yourself for walks or bike rides. Sometimes being active curbs the appetite.0 -
Also another question is maybe getting her allergy tested a good idea...my husband has food senstivitys his mother also has wheat issues...could this be maybe a reason for weight?
and also what should I do to address constant hunger. She seriously would match how much my husband eats (he's 6'2) in one sitting if allowed.0 -
You need to check with a pediatrician and make sure your daughter doesn't have any metabolic disorders that are contributing to her weight.
Look at family history… Does obesity run in the family? If yes, she may have inherited the genetic tendency to gain weight.
Once you meet with a pediatrician and rule out any physical medical conditions, ask for a referral to a dietician who can set up a plan for you and your daughter.0 -
Well that usually doesn't lead to weight gain, usually causes weight loss. in any case her doctor can tell you if she needs any kind of test.0
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Also another question is maybe getting her allergy tested a good idea...my husband has food senstivitys his mother also has wheat issues...could this be maybe a reason for weight?
and also what should I do to address constant hunger. She seriously would match how much my husband eats (he's 6'2) in one sitting if allowed.
I'd recommend talking to her pediatrician about this. There are some disorders out there that cause excess hunger in kids. They're extremely rare, but wouldn't hurt to get her tested. If that's not the cause, it might just be that she's getting ready to hit a huge growth spurt and go up in height some more0 -
What is her paediatrician/family doc's opinion? Do they think she is overweight? There are dieticians/nutritionists who work with kids and they can give you great tips about how to handle this.
I wonder if you could take her with yourself for walks or bike rides. Sometimes being active curbs the appetite.
I did and he just told me to make sure there's healthy options " check" do that already...
Exercise "check" we go swimming, skating, I take kids to park all the time.
I will maybe ask if I can see a nutritionist about constant hunger, she's a very implusive person, and I think alot of it is that...she eats before she thinks. Just really likes food any food...0 -
Also another question is maybe getting her allergy tested a good idea...my husband has food senstivitys his mother also has wheat issues...could this be maybe a reason for weight?
and also what should I do to address constant hunger. She seriously would match how much my husband eats (he's 6'2) in one sitting if allowed.
Yes. She could have Celiac. It's determined by a simple blood test.0 -
My 7 year old son is 77 lbs. His pediatrician is in no way worried about his weight. He bulks up in the winter and thins out in the summer. Im sure she will be fine. I know it concerns you though. I have been concerned too but his Dr has reassured me not to worry or take any action.0
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My 7 year old son is 77 lbs. His pediatrician is in no way worried about his weight. He bulks up in the winter and thins out in the summer. Im sure she will be fine. I know it concerns you though. I have been concerned too but his Dr has reassured me not to worry or take any action.
Thanks yes it worries me so much. I want her to not have to struggle with weight starting at this young. And again I dont want her stressing this young either...just seems that since trying harder to control her trying to match what everyone else is eating, shes only gotten bigger0 -
OP: It'd be easier to answer the question if we had a picture of your daughter… you can crop out her face for obvious reasons. But if she is apple shaped (carries most of her weight in her stomach), that is more of a concern because it puts her at more of a risk for cardiovascular diseases and diabetes.0
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I try not to make a huge deal out of the amount of food my kids eat. I let them have snacks and junk but it is in limited portions. I try to make healthier options for cookies and muffins. They each have chips everyday but it is only a lunch snack, my kids know they can have junk but they don't abuse it in the house.
My 5 year old eats an absurd amount of food but I try to make it dense foods to help fill him up and keep him going. If I put a bowl of grapes out they go crazy quick. Not so quick if I leave them in the fridge. Same with popcorn. I can make a huge bowl and eveone is happy while waiting for dinner to finish!
Kids Ike to eat and need to eat! Those growing bodies need nourishment!0 -
Also another question is maybe getting her allergy tested a good idea...my husband has food senstivitys his mother also has wheat issues...could this be maybe a reason for weight?
and also what should I do to address constant hunger. She seriously would match how much my husband eats (he's 6'2) in one sitting if allowed.
You should talk to her pediatrician. Also, what does she eat? I'm not at all qualified to judge, nor am I trying to, but if she's eating calorie-dense foods (sweets, ice cream, etc.) then she won't feel as full.
However, I also would've eaten as much as possible when I was younger, and several times ate to the point of sickness. Try to get her to eat more slowly and really recognize signs of fullness vs. just liking the way food tastes.0 -
OP: It'd be easier to answer the question if we had a picture of your daughter… you can crop out her face for obvious reasons. But if she is apple shaped (carries most of her weight in her stomach), that is more of a concern because it puts her at more of a risk for cardiovascular diseases and diabetes.
Its really hard to tell when shes clothed otherwise I would...she is quite tall for her age, she's likely even taller that 4ft havent measured her height in awhile. but yes I can say she carries it all in her stomach, she hasnt even been able to wear jeans for a good two years...her belly is just too extended and I can't find ones big enough but with short enough legs And shes got mega rolls around her arms pits, breasts.0 -
maybe first you could concentrate on getting her more active and away from the snack area.
Don't have the junk snack around so much have fresh fruit available. With less junk snacks she might start reaching for an apple or banana instead. ......just ideas.0 -
Also another question is maybe getting her allergy tested a good idea...my husband has food senstivitys his mother also has wheat issues...could this be maybe a reason for weight?
and also what should I do to address constant hunger. She seriously would match how much my husband eats (he's 6'2) in one sitting if allowed.
You should talk to her pediatrician. Also, what does she eat? I'm not at all qualified to judge, nor am I trying to, but if she's eating calorie-dense foods (sweets, ice cream, etc.) then she won't feel as full.
However, I also would've eaten as much as possible when I was younger, and several times ate to the point of sickness. Try to get her to eat more slowly and really recognize signs of fullness vs. just liking the way food tastes.
I limit "junk" alot...I don't eat it...dont like it so its not in the house too much. And luckily she likes everything, even veggies, fruit. But I think she does raid others lunch boxes at school...not sure how to broach that or even if I should...its not really teachers job to patrol her food intake.0 -
So, according to the cdc website, her BMI is roughly 24.5 which does put her in an "obese" category (but don't put too much stock in this label or get disheartened, just start taking a few proactive steps). We came upon this same issue when my son was young, and we had to change some habits in our house, but now, years later, he's no longer overweight at all and has developed some reasonably good habits.
Try steering her to fruit and vegetables when she has a snack (in fact, do this for everyone in the household). We keep apples in the fridge and go through 3-5 pounds a week (mostly two boys eating them, 1 a day at least). Carrot sticks, raw broccoli or cauliflower, celery sticks, sweet pepper slices, etc. The crunch can be very satisfying, and most kids need more vegetables and fruits in their diet anyway.
I allow my kids to have a small amount of ranch dressing with their veggies. A bit of peanut butter on celery is good too. However, you do want to monitor this as the calories from those can add up quickly. Allow all the vegetable she wants, but only 1 serving of dip. Make it more about fair ("you had your serving already, you can't have someone else's for today too") rather than about weight or calories. Do the same thing for any non-veggie or fruit treats, like chips or cookies, that you allow. One serving. That's it. Otherwise it isn't fair to everyone else who gets less if one or two people eat more. (Help her count out the chips in a serving, and know how many cookies are a serving, and only allow that much … for anyone). But keep the not-so-healthy snacks to a minimum in the house.
Also increase her activity. Turn off the tv and computer and video games and send her outside to ride her bike or play on the swings or something. Take walks together. Go to the park and let her play on the playground. Even in the winter, she can wear a coat (unless it is in the negatives). If you have a game system, invest in Just Dance or a similar game and play together. For a lot of kids, activity is at least as big a factor as what they eat. Increase the activity level and you'll probably see a difference.
Since she's still growing, you probably don't need to worry about her losing weight, just slow down weight gain so that her height will catch up. I agree with the other poster who suggested talking to your pediatrician as well.0 -
I would talk to her doctor about your concerns. One thing to consider is that she is still growing, and certainly wouldn't be the first child in history who got heavier before shooting up in height. I was worried that my daughter still had some baby fat, and I swear she grew four inches in height overnight and now looks slimmer, even though she weighs the same amount.
And although she is only 7, could any of this be related to puberty or a pre-cursor to puberty?0 -
Other then what other have already said about checking with her DR. Maybe you could trick her into thinking she's getting more at meal times with a smaller size plate (lunch plate vs dinner plate). Also, if she says she's hungry, and you know she should be, offer her an apple or other fruit. If she is truly hungry she will eat it. If she doesn't want it she really isn't hungry. This actually works for me too when I think I want something to eat. Unfortunately, I don't think there is really anything you can do about when she is at school.0
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Why don't you get her active in sports like tee ball or dance outside of the home so she's got something else to focus on?0
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Also another question is maybe getting her allergy tested a good idea...my husband has food senstivitys his mother also has wheat issues...could this be maybe a reason for weight?
and also what should I do to address constant hunger. She seriously would match how much my husband eats (he's 6'2) in one sitting if allowed.
You should talk to her pediatrician. Also, what does she eat? I'm not at all qualified to judge, nor am I trying to, but if she's eating calorie-dense foods (sweets, ice cream, etc.) then she won't feel as full.
However, I also would've eaten as much as possible when I was younger, and several times ate to the point of sickness. Try to get her to eat more slowly and really recognize signs of fullness vs. just liking the way food tastes.
I limit "junk" alot...I don't eat it...dont like it so its not in the house too much. And luckily she likes everything, even veggies, fruit. But I think she does raid others lunch boxes at school...not sure how to broach that or even if I should...its not really teachers job to patrol her food intake.
Honestly, when a parent takes something away, a child usually wants it more. I assume this is the case with your daughter and junk food. Since you limit junk food in the house, she looks for it other places. Like at school, or when she goes to friends houses, birthday parties, etc. The best way to avoid this, would be to allow her one or two "junk" items a day. This way she isn't completely deprived of things every kid likes but she isn't consuming too much of it either.0 -
Definitely agree with all those encouraging you to seek a physician's advice...a professional is going to be the best qualified to answer any questions or concerns you have about her health. She is lucky to have a mom who takes a vested interest in her wellbeing0
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Let me just preface this by saying I don't have kids!
Assuming the doctor says there is nothing wrong, I have this little experiment that I thought would be a good thing to try with kids to teach them about moderation and self control.
Put together a little box with a weeks worth of snacks. Maybe a couple of those little lunch box packets of chips, a few cookies, pre-aliquoted crackers in little bags, whatever you deem appropriate. Tell the kids that these are their snacks for the week, and they can eat them all now or spread it out over the week, but once they're gone that's it until next week. Of course, have plenty of healthy options around (cut veges, fruit etc) that they can have unlimited amounts of, and you have adhere to it strictly and not cave in when they come begging for more tasty treats.
There are many potential flaws with this idea (eg: more than one kid: kids steal siblings snacks, or trade chores for snacks? etc...) and I'm sure a dozen other things I cant think of because I've never had to deal with sneaky children on a day to day basis, but still I'd definitely interested to see if it works one day. 7 would be old enough for something like this I would think?0 -
Weight is also not the only consideration. Some people are more muscular than others. My two nephews are technically overweight. Neither has any extra fat but that dense build seems to run in my family. We all are much heavier than we appear.
If your pediatrician isn't over worried then I wouldn't be. Kids eat differently. I had one who grazed all day and one who didn't snack much but ate big meals. Also many kids have what I call the plump and grow growth pattern. They store up some extra fat and then overnight shoot up a couple inches. Others eat like a horse when they are growing and eat less when they are not. I would primarily provide healthy choices.
The impulsivity can be part of the issue. At her age it may just be something she will grow out of or it could be a sign of ADHD.0 -
Get her moving! And you join her. That should help reduce her weight as well as her snacking patterns. Exercise reduces hunger signals. She may be eating out of boredom, so keep her busy physically.
And give her water. People eat when they're thirsty, thinking the signals they're getting are hunger pangs.
My best advice is to get snacks that she has to make herself--like peanut butter and bananas or crackers and cheese with some fruit. Buy oranges, for example. And don't peel it for her. Cut it in wedges or in half. Leave some of the work for her to do. Buy yogurt and some healthy sprinkles to put on it, but let her take the time to make it. Things that are ready to eat right out of the bag are too tempting and you can eat them by the handfuls before you know it. And supervise the amounts she uses.
But I'd definitely talk to her pediatrician first. 80 lbs. is on the heavy side for a 7 year old girl.
edited for spelling.0 -
This might already got said, but do things together, You said you dont want to single her out, sit down with her and ask her what her hobbies are, go for a bike ride, mother and daughter day, xbox has some good games for kinect, and ps4 is coming out with a camera.0
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At our house we've got a kiddo who would graze constantly too. I've had to be gentle but firm about eating when it's time to eat, and waiting till the next time. If I hear a whine of, "I'm hungry!", I say, "Good! That means you'll eat dinner well!"
I've got a seven-year-old who has to be on oral steroids periodically, which can triple a person's appetite. So we talk about portion control, and not needing the calories even if he feels hungry. When not on steroids, I often ask if he wants seconds because he's truly hungry or because he enjoyed eating the food. That can cause him to pay attention to his body's signals about fullness.
Often if a kiddo wants more than I give them, I will give them a choice of an apple or baby carrots. If they don't want those options, they can wait until it's time to eat again.
I think consistency is key - it's taken awhile, but I notice now my children not asking for snacks nearly so often, because it's an established routine and they know when snbacktime and mealtimes are.
Just my two cents - feel free to ignore what's not applicable to you!0 -
So I guess its more I want direction on where to look..I know this site if for adults and I am a member here not my 7 year old of course. So I don't know what to do. I am doing my best to show by example how to eat. And I do as much as I can control what she's eating. But for as long as she could talk and walk she will want to eat constantly. Anytime a different person in the house wants a snack she needs a snack too. (not everyone wants a snack at the same time, so as you can imagine she's trying to double up on snacks constantly) I try my best to control this..but at the same time I don't want to make it into a big deal as if she has a problem. Don't want her with issues.. I mean I was once called chubby (when I wasn't) as a kid and I swear is scarred me for life.
So what do I do? She's in school 5 days a week and I know she must bum food from other kids...I don't want to bring it up to her teacher etc cause its embarassing. And I don't want her to feel singled out.
Anyways she is tall she's about 4ft so fairly tall, and she's 80 lbs. 80! is that really bad? see I don't even know she's got a fair amount of rolls.
Seems like it should be a simple solution, control control control..but how do I do that without singling her out?
The trend among pediatricians now is to tell parents of chubby youngsters to completely cut out sugary foods except for rare special occasions and to even cut out fruit juice--only water or whole milk for beverages. This has been pretty successful in most cases. One young mom that I know has followed this advice and both of her formerly chubby kids have slimmed down.0 -
So much input, so many people who are supporting you! I agree with checking with her doctor - again as you already seem to have started that discussion. DO talk to the teacher. I can attest to the fact that teachers are more than willing to help their students succeed in every aspect of their lives. (I am a teacher).
As to snacks....that seems to be the problem. Obviously, fruit, veggies, small amounts of dipping items (peanut butter, ranch dressing, yogurt) I recommend taking her shopping with you. (I have 4 girls, 3 grown and living on their own, 1 at home and very healthy). I always included them in my shopping. Having 4 differing "favorite" after school snacks, I would buy enough for the week for each girl. I put the snacks in a bread box or fridge and labeled the containers they were stored in (fruit and veggie snacks were given if they were still hungry - and ONLY if dinner was over an hour away) I did not let them have food between meals other than that one snack + fruit/veggie. If there is snack time at school, make that a snack from home and make it healthy. (cheese stick and 1/2 an apple is great!)
When your daughter is given the ability to make choices about what is in the house, she feels heard and is already satisfied.
The next step - and this is the hard part - is to let her know that the snack she chooses is her ONLY snack for the week. If she wants and apple, pear, orange, grapes, broccoli, etc. let her get a little of all and label them with her name - no days of the week. If she indulges on day 1 and has nothing left for the rest of the week, she also learns consequences for her choices - a tough lesson but one often neglected with children are young (and there are plenty of young adults who believe they are entitled to games, phones, laptops or tablets, etc. Teach it early and you teach for life)
It will only take 1 time and she will not want to do that again. She will tell you it isn't enough to have one snack a day. She may say awful things like "you don't really love me" or "I'm telling everyone you are starving me!" Let her. It hurts you to hear it, but it will not truly affect her relationship with you.
in the long run, you are giving her the power to choose her foods - allow a special cookie or single serve ice cream once in a while, but not in a way to be expected such as every Saturday after playing at the park having ice cream. Only when you stop for a "treat" - not as a reward but just because - can she have one, too! Emulating mom is a good thing!
I had to do some of this with one of my girls. She had a hard time in school with a group of girls (sixth grade is awful!), and would come home and sneak food! I just bought apples, oranges and grapes until they were coimng out my ears. Everyone else in the house started to grumble after a week of repeat items, no carbs, no sugar! It took a couple of weeks for my daughter to complain (she ate most of the snacks, but didn't gain - I think she lost a few pounds!), and as she was whining, the reason for her eating came out. A quick call to the school and all was well with the world. She is beautiful and an amazing cook who only uses whole, fresh foods - no boxes or cans.
I hope all of our input helps you sort though and find options that work for you. In the long run, love and support will get you both through this.0 -
Thanks everyone, I think its time for another trip to our family dr. And I will try some of the other suggestions, we are very active so not sure if I can up that too much more. I might just casually check with her teach and ask if she's noticed if my daughter gets foods from other classmates. And if she is, try to deal with that at home explaining why I don't want her eating others lunches (their moms worked hard and would like their own kids to eat what they made etc, ... skirting around the real reason lol) And I do like the allowing her to pick out certain snacks and thats all she gets, I will do this with my son too (even though he truely eats soley when he's hungry) but if she eats hers and he hasn't then at least when he does want it I will say sorry but you ate yours already and then it wont become a unfair thing. Thanks0
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