fifty shades of grey

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  • licktat
    licktat Posts: 11 Member
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    I read it to try and gain insight into what turns women on. Strangely, I AM interested in that! I was hoping to find out some helpful nuggets to use, but I came away with the concept that women's fantasies don't even come close to anything real.
    You have a model handsome man in his 20's that is a billionaire that flies his own jet, helicopter etc.... He built his wealth on his own, and still has time to chase our heroine around the globe. Oh he has a very large penis AND he is philintropic, and very green in his business....Forgot that.... So far he sounds just like me, but I was in my 30's when I got there.
    Ladies....if your fantasy is of a guy that beats his girlfriend while wearing a t shirt and ripped jeans, then you should hang out in trailer parks.... Hehehehe
    Funny thing, I bought a new head board with slates and told my wife I was gonna tie her up....she said..."you better not!"
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
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    loved the first one, i thought they should have just ended it with anna remaining heart broken. It was real! and it doesn't get done normally.

    Then they hook up again, and all sorts of other crap, just no. He is craycray. She came off as wounded but a survivor in the first one. Then she puts on some ****ed up blinders. No.
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
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    I read it to try and gain insight into what turns women on. Strangely, I AM interested in that! I was hoping to find out some helpful nuggets to use, but I came away with the concept that women's fantasies don't even come close to anything real.
    You have a model handsome man in his 20's that is a billionaire that flies his own jet, helicopter etc.... He built his wealth on his own, and still has time to chase our heroine around the globe. Oh he has a very large penis AND he is philintropic, and very green in his business....Forgot that.... So far he sounds just like me, but I was in my 30's when I got there.
    Ladies....if your fantasy is of a guy that beats his girlfriend while wearing a t shirt and ripped jeans, then you should hang out in trailer parks.... Hehehehe
    Funny thing, I bought a new head board with slates and told my wife I was gonna tie her up....she said..."you better not!"

    the last part only. But yeah, he totally didn't deserve her!
  • HunterKiller_deleted
    HunterKiller_deleted Posts: 458
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    Crap. Ive been shown bit from girls i know but i could write way better stuff myself. Plus there are no pictures :)
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    The writing is atrocious…I’ve read horribly written books before & some are entertaining despite that. Plus, I could definitely get past the poor writing if it was good smut. But it wasn’t even that. The sex scenes weren’t that hot & it was the same thing over & over.

    Also, about half way through book one I was ready to throat punch her inner goddess and bury her in the desert somewhere just so I wouldn’t have to hear the term anymore. I told my friend I couldn’t stand reading the 2nd book if there was more of that…she said there wasn’t as much. She underestimated. I couldn’t even read the last book. I had her tell me what happened because I couldn’t stomach trying to read anymore.

    I was hoping the movie plans would fall through...alas...they press on. :grumble:
  • mank32
    mank32 Posts: 1,323 Member
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    Shlt. I can write better erotica than that.

    Seconded!

    +1. i am officially getting itchy for an MFP contest now...

    #1 offense: offensively terrible writing
    #2 offense: offensively lousy character development
    #3 offense: offensively inaccurate/incorrect representation of healthy D/s, BDSM relationship
    #4 offense: offensively lucrative

    mostly i am mad that i can't do my market research because i can't bear to finish reading that drivel. :angry:
  • Naina_Bug
    Naina_Bug Posts: 74 Member
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    I looove the books, but think they are doing a HORRIBLE job with the movie.
  • sue_stef
    sue_stef Posts: 194 Member
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    I would also love to see the writing of the various MFP posters here
    I wonder how many people have messaged to read some
  • michellemybelll
    michellemybelll Posts: 2,228 Member
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    . who, in fact, did the author sleep with to guarantee such success?

    Why do people only ask something like that when the author is a woman? I get that the book sucks, but sexist much? Geez
    excuse me? do you know me even one iota? not only do i not know whether the author of the 50 shades books is male or female, i don't give a damn. i'd make the same comment regardless. watch the conclusions you jump to. i predict you're mostly wrong, and living in ignorance.
  • DjinnMarie
    DjinnMarie Posts: 1,297 Member
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    My husband bought me the first book as a "going away to afghanistan" gag gift.

    I haven't read it yet.
  • DjinnMarie
    DjinnMarie Posts: 1,297 Member
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    . who, in fact, did the author sleep with to guarantee such success?

    Why do people only ask something like that when the author is a woman? I get that the book sucks, but sexist much? Geez
    excuse me? do you know me even one iota? not only do i not know whether the author of the 50 shades books is male or female, i don't give a damn. i'd make the same comment regardless. watch the conclusions you jump to. i predict you're mostly wrong, and living in ignorance.


    Oh_burn.gif
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,592 Member
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    nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonoooooooooooooooooooonoooooooooooooooooo
  • just_Jennie1
    just_Jennie1 Posts: 1,233
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    Worst. Book. Ever. Written.

    But of course it was a Twilight rip-off so it was bound to be horrible.

    I "read" the first book and by "read" I mean flipped through it looking for the hot and steamy sex scenes that everyone was talking about.

    Hmmmm. Lets see:

    Banged her in bed - Boring
    Banged her against the sink in the bathroom - oh how original. I mean really. That's like how I wake up every day
    Banged her in the beach house - *yawn*
    Spanked her - *snore*

    Seriously. Bad, bad, bad. I personally hated the email conversations that went back and forth. Seems like the author was trying to just use up pages. I also laughed -- and this is when I knew the book was going to be ridiculous -- at the fact that while she was a virgin (not really surprised at that) that she didn't know what the "tingling down THERE" was. Seriously? That's something a freaking 9 year old would say! I also find it hard to believe that she went all those years without ever getting hot and heavy with someone. Oh, and that being so inexperienced she could orgasm pretty much on command. Also the fact that Christian was "shocked" when he saw her wearing his underwear. Really? Dude, you're supposed to be a Dom and you're shocked that some chick is walking out in your boxers? MMkay.

    I also find the portrayal of that sort of lifestyle laughable. I have many friends who are in that lifestyle and they all said the same thing: No way would she have gotten away with all the rule breaking she did.

    And don't get me started on the fact that the book was obviously NOT edited. If it was then there wouldn't be so many redundancies.

    The one thing the author had on her side was an awesome marketing agent.
  • slw5X5
    slw5X5 Posts: 282 Member
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    It's also just a very badly written book.

    ^ This.

    Yup!
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
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    Hate it for this reason. Mind you I am Ina D/s relationship.......those book are not about a sane BDSM relationship, it romanticize abuse

    Following text not mine but reflex how I feel.
    Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.

    So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.

    Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive *kitten* who really can’t take no for an answer.

    Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN ****ING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should ****ing know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.

    Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a ****ing contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her *kitten* and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me ****ing started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.

    ****. This. book. It’s written in a ****ty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.
  • angel1776
    angel1776 Posts: 15 Member
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    Hate it!!!!

    I always said I would not read rubbish like that... but my cousin passed me a load of books and it was with them. (I read a LOT)

    One day, I decided to have a quick peek just to see what all the fuss is about... I got through about a page and a half and well, if that's what is really getting people going and saying it improved their love life... well... nowt else to say then!

    I read one bit that was supposed to be raunchy. It started with a teeny bit of mild tittilation, and then......... nothing!!!!

    I really can't understand what is missing in some of these women's lives, that this book is so talked about. But I do have a vague idea now, of why a few men do cheat.... cos if what they are getting at home makes this book so interesting from a sexual idealistic point of view, then there must be some really frustrated men out there.

    (sorry)
  • angel1776
    angel1776 Posts: 15 Member
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    Well said Yanicka!!!! (My first post... I just spent time on thoughts of what the woman on the street was saying about it in relation to improving their own sex life... rather than the contents..seeing as I didn't read it anyway)
  • Fitness_4_Jess
    Fitness_4_Jess Posts: 55 Member
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    Hate it for this reason. Mind you I am Ina D/s relationship.......those book are not about a sane BDSM relationship, it romanticize abuse

    Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.

    So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.

    Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive *kitten* who really can’t take no for an answer.

    Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN ****ING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should ****ing know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.

    Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a ****ing contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her *kitten* and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me ****ing started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.

    ****. This. book. It’s written in a ****ty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.

    ^^This. I don't live the lifestyle, but I have friends who do and this covers most things we cannot stand about the books. (Though I only read half of the first one; I just had to stop.) Bravo!
  • MorgueBabe
    MorgueBabe Posts: 1,188 Member
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    Hate it.
    It's "mom" porn. IMO it's for "vanilla" people who have no real true understanding or experience with BDSM/Kink.
    It's really a terrible portrayal of the lifestyle in SO many ways.
    There is much better kink out there.
  • ktrn0312
    ktrn0312 Posts: 723 Member
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    Very overrated. I have read much better erotica. I forced myself to finish reading book one. Can't seem to get myself to pick up book two & three.

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