Reaching out for help....I have a problem

Is it that you don't care, or you're resigned?

I'm confused, because accepting yourself and being happy as you are is WONDERFUL! That is to be celebrated!

And yet, you're here, you've set a goal, and you're calling it a problem...

So why are you here? What inspired the goal you chose?

I was resigned to my weight for a long time, never thinking I could get below it. I accepted my body, but I'm very happy to be seeing what was below the fat, so progress has helped keep me motivated, as well as the feeling I get from running every day.

So why are you here and how did you choose the goal you did?

I remember not seeing my size when I looked in the mirror. It was a trick of the mind I was particularly good at. I'd look in the mirror and concentrate on the little details, the hair, the outfit, the makeup, etc. instead of actually seeing the big picture.

You might be someone who benefits from setting a fitness goal instead of a weight loss goal. Or you might just not be "there" yet and that's okay too.

1st off - REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES AND SNAP PICTURES OF FRONT, BACK and SIDE VIEW then look at the pictures and see if you like what you see?

I remember not seeing my size when I looked in the mirror. It was a trick of the mind I was particularly good at. I'd look in the mirror and concentrate on the little details, the hair, the outfit, the makeup, etc. instead of actually seeing the big picture.

You might be someone who benefits from setting a fitness goal instead of a weight loss goal. Or you might just not be "there" yet and that's okay too.

This is a good point too. I don't think I saw how overweight I was until losing it and comparing old pictures to new ones. In some ways I still don't want/like to see.

You say you just avoid mirrors due to not liking what you see.....that could be a bit of motivation for you there. If you do not like what you see when you look in the mirror, don't stop looking in the mirror work to change the reflection you see. It is not going to be easy but with good support it is doable and at times can even be fun. Find what works for you for burning calories. And remember that exercise is not the only way to burn calories. You burn calories with everything you do in life. If you like to go shopping with friends, get to the nearest shopping center and browse away. If you like to swim hit the water...It is every movement some do not make a significant change in calories burned but even something as simple as chewing gum or fidgiting has some effect. So put your best foot forward and make your self happy to see you.

Nothing helps motivation like a goal to work toward. For me this time it is looking good in my friend's wedding.
Sometimes it takes a really bad or embarassing event. Sometimes people just wake up and decide.

But mostly... pick a goal, don't pick a day, and there is no better time than the present to get started.

Look at it this way; So you want to grow old in a wheel chair, because your weight ruined your knees and back? Do you want to your children or grandchildren to ask you why you are in that wheel chair, and will you answer them honestly? I know this may be harsh but it's a reality. I had a grandmother that she was so over weight that we had to visit her in her chair because she couldn't get up, her knees couldn't handle the excess weight. Before she passed away it became so that she couldn't leave her bed anymore because no one had the strength to pull her out of the bed and put her in her chair. See it that way and don't be resigned to stay the way you are if you are not happy.
There's a post that I read that I found very inspirational its called;
"ME? LOSE 100 POUNDS? Impossible, but I did it!"
you could read it if you like, it's given me another reason to keep going and not give up.

You seem happy with yourself so I'm puzzled why you're on here, as you don't really seem to want to lose weight. Am I missing something?

I wouldn't say I didn't care - but I didn't care enough to actually do anything about it. Then last year, I went to my doc for a physical. My blood pressure and cholesterol were through the roof, my blood sugar was out of control, I had sleep apnea, blah blah blah - the list went on and on. She finally just stopped and said look - I can prescribe medications for all of this, but it doesn't matter, the truth is that obesity is going to kill you no matter how many drugs I give you, and probably sooner rather than later. Do you want drugs or are you going to do something about this?

I decided I didn't want to die fat, sick, miserable, and relatively soon, if I could help it.

If you're that overweight, you're in the same boat. Even if you're young enough that you don't have all the bad labs yet, it really is just "yet". You're not sick YET. So it's really kind of up to you. What kind of quality of life do you prefer? Pick, then live with it.

I don't see anything wrong with not caring about how you look, but maybe you should think about the consequences of being overweight on your health. Maybe you have? I am a student in the medical field and it has really made me look at the impact of being overweight and unfit on my body and not just concerned how it looks. I may be no Jessica Alba, damnit, but all my body parts work, which is more than some can say. I'm going to keep them working!

Wow! You sound just like how I used to be. I know EXACTLY how you feel! I've been there. My heaviest was 252 although I never 'saw' that 252 in the mirror. I knew I was big but I didn't think I was that heavy. I had a very physically active fiance(he is a minor league baseball player) so when I couldn't keep up to him, I just chalked it up to him being more "hardcore" than me. It wasn't until I saw a Christmas photo in December of 2011 that I saw the true, physical me...I was morbidly obese. I was mortified and vowed to change. Blah, blah blah, and the rest is history. This isn't about me, it's about you. I just wanted to show you that I can relate to how you currently feel, but I am here to tell you that you CAN change this. It's not that you don't care. It's that you are lacking self love right now. Seriously. You may feel that you are happy and that you love yourself, but you don't. If you did, you wouldn't sabotage your health and your body. If you loved yourself, you would work hard on being the best version of yourself, everyday. Not just an 'okay' version, or a content version. You want to be the best and happiest you can be!

First off, start small. Portion control, and exercise. Work on those portions and educate yourself on a proper portion size. Seriously, a real portion can be shocking when you are oblivious to those facts. And exercise at least 30-60 minutes 3 times a week. Start off small so you don't burn yourself out. And try to find a workout regimen that you are going to like/love. That way you are more likely to stick with it. And keep it fresh! Change up that routine every 4-5 workouts to keep things fresh and exciting, and to prevent your body from falling into a routine.

This is a lifestyle, so yes, there are going to be days when maybe you fall off the healthy eating, or you just don't feel like working out, etc. Just fight through that, jump over those hurtles. Dust yourself off, and get back on the wagon. Accept the trial and errors and move on from them!

You can do this, girl!

Good luck!

PICTURES

I did not realize how big I was until I was going through pictures for a memory board. If you REALLY want that motivation - take a picture of yourself full body and place it everywhere you can...if you are sticking to your new lifestyle and working out (even a little walk here and there)..take another picture in a couple months to compare. Pictures have been my motivation since day one and still are!

You are here and that is a great start...once you get into the habit of things..it will be a smooth ride

You do care... it's just not an over night success story that we all wish it were. I think half of my problem is the waiting (most of my problem).

I think most people have a mental image of themselves that isn't accurate. Some see themselves as looking worse than they really do, and some think they look better. There are a ton of people on this forum who, despite their scale weight or clothing size, say they didn't think they looked "that big" until a photo or video shocked them. So you're not alone there. I'm one of those people that has to fight the "I look fine" or "What does it matter?" voice that always creeps in when I'm tempted to overeat. Logically I know those are only rationalizations, but it's so darn easy to go along with in the moment (funny how I'm at my most motivated AFTER my belly's full of calorific and carb-laden foods. But while I'm buying it and stuffing my face with it, I'm all excuses and justifications).

As for personal motivation, that can only come from within. Is being overweight worse than doing what you have to do to lose weight? Is consistently overeating more pleasurable and important to you than your health and appearance? I personally think it's your own decision to make - no one can force you change your priorities. Others will probably disagree with me, but I believe that it's a valid choice either way. It's your body and your life. I think what more people dislike is when fat people whine and complain about being fat but do nothing to change. We all have to decide how we want to move through life and then own it.