The day after - who should contact who?

wanna_b_there
wanna_b_there Posts: 295 Member
in Chit-Chat
Yeah yeah, in a perfect world it wouldn't / shouldn't matter but it does. The day after the first time sleeping with a guy, if she texts him, she's needy. If he texts her, he's demanding. So they just ignore each other.

I'm sure there will flow a stream of posts "I don't play games like that," but you can say what you want, the games are there like 'em or not.

So really now. What are the rules?
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Replies

  • MM_1982
    MM_1982 Posts: 374
    Depends who wants it more. I've called after spending the night together because I was interested in seeing them again. Women have called me after because they wanted to see me again.

    Basically, if you want to see the person again, call or text them the next day.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    I don't play games. If it was good I will call them, if it sucked I won't. Very simple. :flowerforyou:
  • Teddy_B
    Teddy_B Posts: 69 Member
    I text / call the next morning because I feel like it's pretty freaking rude not to


    even if it's just "hey thanks for a great time last night"

    or "hey, last night was fun, but you should probably be aware that they're shipping me out today. I can't reveal much but... aliens."



    wait no don't use that second one
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    Yet another reason I am glad that I am not out in the dating game!

    When I slept with my (now) husband, I had no doubt he would be calling me the next day. I just knew. Back then (23 years ago), it wasn't expected that the woman would call the next day. Or if it was, I missed that memo.
  • DeltaZero
    DeltaZero Posts: 1,197 Member
    This is after a good workout at the gym, right?

    Couples tennis?

    What are the parameters here.
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    Unless it's totally casual, or ONS, there's usually some sort of relationship already established. Whoever picks up the phone first, really. I don't think it makes sense to wait 23.5 hours to call someone, or a week, or whatever the "rule" is.
  • bperkins88
    bperkins88 Posts: 357 Member
    Yeah yeah, in a perfect world it wouldn't / shouldn't matter but it does. The day after the first time sleeping with a guy, if she texts him, she's needy. If he texts her, he's demanding. So they just ignore each other.

    I'm sure there will flow a stream of posts "I don't play games like that," but you can say what you want, the games are there like 'em or not.

    So really now. What are the rules?

    I usually stick around for some Morning sex if it was fun. -Shrugs-

    I usually text the girl back the next day if I liked her. I usually do not get texts from a woman unless she is a little obsessive or needy the next day.

    Example (5 minutes after leaving)

    "Heyyyy baby. Had so much fun last night. I can't wait to see you again. I miss your smell, I've been sleeping on the pillow you passed out on last night LOL XD. I know.. a little weird, but its true!! Text me back baby! Miss you"
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I don't find it demanding for a guy to text or (preferably) call the day after the first time sleeping together.

    However, I would wait for him to contact me because men (no matter how much they deny it) like the chase and being too easily available turns them off.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    So really now. What are the rules?

    rule 1: you do not talk about fight club
  • TX_Rhon
    TX_Rhon Posts: 1,549 Member
    I don't play games. If it was good I will call them, if it sucked I won't. Very simple. :flowerforyou:

    ^^This!! :flowerforyou:
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    Lulz - is this Beverly Hills 90210 or some teen drama?

    There are no rules. Do what you want to do.
  • Nettabee
    Nettabee Posts: 296 Member

    or "hey, last night was fun, but you should probably be aware that they're shipping me out today. I can't reveal much but... aliens."



    wait no don't use that second one

    HA! Too late :wink:
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    Yeah yeah, in a perfect world it wouldn't / shouldn't matter but it does. The day after the first time sleeping with a guy, if she texts him, she's needy. If he texts her, he's demanding. So they just ignore each other.

    I'm sure there will flow a stream of posts "I don't play games like that," but you can say what you want, the games are there like 'em or not.

    So really now. What are the rules?

    I usually stick around for some Morning sex if it was fun. -Shrugs-

    I usually text the girl back the next day if I liked her. I usually do not get texts from a woman unless she is a little obsessive or needy the next day.

    Example (5 minutes after leaving)

    "Heyyyy baby. Had so much fun last night. I can't wait to see you again. I miss your smell, I've been sleeping on the pillow you passed out on last night LOL XD. I know.. a little weird, but its true!! Text me back baby! Miss you"

    mc3ckm.gif
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    Tom-Hanks-orly.gif.pagespeed.ce.SlMCwNI-Vk.gif
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Tom-Hanks-orly.gif.pagespeed.ce.SlMCwNI-Vk.gif

    This gif should be site wide.
  • rubixcyoob
    rubixcyoob Posts: 395
    I've never had a ONS but with my now fiance he text me. He had asked me about where it was going, wanted to keep seeing me exclusively etc the night we slept together, and the next day I was worried he would change his mind (I have extremely low self-confidence and couldn't believe he meant it). We spent the morning together until we both had to go, and when I left him he text simply saying "I hope you get your train on time :) I miss you and wish we had more time togather today xxx". Nothing wrong with that.


    My fiance has had a few ONS before he knew me, and if he was interested in dating them (even if just for a few weeks) he'd text them first. If not he'd just let it be.
  • rungirl1973
    rungirl1973 Posts: 2,559 Member
    It's true, the games are there.

    But, when you find the right one, there are no games. I never would have believed it.
    I'm 40 years old and finally engaged to a man who doesn't play those stupid games.
  • vjohn04
    vjohn04 Posts: 2,276 Member
    Call me old fashioned... but a text? No way.


    Sex or a good date deserves a phone call if there is an interest in seeing someone again. No interest? No call. End of story.
  • MG_Fit
    MG_Fit Posts: 1,143 Member
    Tom-Hanks-orly.gif.pagespeed.ce.SlMCwNI-Vk.gif

    43591-THIS-gif-ECaV.gif
  • FindingMyPerfection
    FindingMyPerfection Posts: 702 Member
    If you want to call, call. Don't play games and you will find someone else who doesn't play games, eventually.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    It's true, the games are there.

    And the cool thing is that you can choose not to play them.

    I choose to not play games at all after the age of about 24 / 25. If I wanted to buy a girl flowers on the first date that's exactly what I did. If I wanted to call the next day I did. If I wanted to buy her dinner before I slept with her I did. The worst that happened is I weeded out girls who were simply not right for me and found more who were and I had a great time with.

    I guess if you only want to get laid then games are fine. If you want a decent relationship then I say start as you mean to go on....
  • runningincognito
    runningincognito Posts: 34
    I really don't think you should call. Men like to pursue. If he wants to see you again he'll call you.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    It's true, the games are there.

    And the cool thing is that you can choose not to play them.

    I choose to not play games at all after the age of about 24 / 25. If I wanted to buy a girl flowers on the first date that's exactly what I did. If I wanted to call the next day I did. If I wanted to buy her dinner before I slept with her I did. The worst that happened is I weeded out girls who were simply not right for me and found more who were and I had a great time with.

    I guess if you only want to get laid then games are fine. If you want a decent relationship then I say start as you mean to go on....

    Thank you. This is called being a grown-up.
  • arrseegee
    arrseegee Posts: 575 Member
    If you like him and want to see him again, then call. If he gets freaked out by that then there is a very definite signal that that's someone you don't need in your life. Don't start planning your wedding or asking him whether he wants to come home with you next Christmas already, but keep the communication open and if he's a decent guy (or girl if it's the other way round) then you can work out whether you want the same thing. If not, then you still had a night of good sexytime and you haven't lost anything....

    Except maybe your favourite bra, that's always to be avoided.
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
    After our first time, I got up in the morning and made him a full English breakfast in bed. We are getting married in 4 months. :laugh:
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    I really don't think you should call. Men like to pursue. If he wants to see you again he'll call you.

    Gah. Perpetuating the games.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    games are for children.

    do what feels right to you.

    life is too short to always worry about how others will perceive you.
  • rexiecatmeow
    rexiecatmeow Posts: 43 Member
    lmaooooo @ option 2.. something tells me if you text that you're pretty scott free on them pursuing you haha so its a good out!
    I text / call the next morning because I feel like it's pretty freaking rude not to


    even if it's just "hey thanks for a great time last night"

    or "hey, last night was fun, but you should probably be aware that they're shipping me out today. I can't reveal much but... aliens."



    wait no don't use that second one
  • Danny_Boy13
    Danny_Boy13 Posts: 2,094 Member
    So really now. What are the rules?

    Is this really a topic for discussion??? I mean we are all adults... If someone has issues with this then I worry about how our society is doing downhill fast. *SMH
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
    i try not to call cause most of those russians on the website charge like $4.95 + a minute

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