The day after - who should contact who?

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  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
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    It's true, the games are there.

    And the cool thing is that you can choose not to play them.

    I choose to not play games at all after the age of about 24 / 25. If I wanted to buy a girl flowers on the first date that's exactly what I did. If I wanted to call the next day I did. If I wanted to buy her dinner before I slept with her I did. The worst that happened is I weeded out girls who were simply not right for me and found more who were and I had a great time with.

    I guess if you only want to get laid then games are fine. If you want a decent relationship then I say start as you mean to go on....
  • runningincognito
    runningincognito Posts: 34
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    I really don't think you should call. Men like to pursue. If he wants to see you again he'll call you.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    It's true, the games are there.

    And the cool thing is that you can choose not to play them.

    I choose to not play games at all after the age of about 24 / 25. If I wanted to buy a girl flowers on the first date that's exactly what I did. If I wanted to call the next day I did. If I wanted to buy her dinner before I slept with her I did. The worst that happened is I weeded out girls who were simply not right for me and found more who were and I had a great time with.

    I guess if you only want to get laid then games are fine. If you want a decent relationship then I say start as you mean to go on....

    Thank you. This is called being a grown-up.
  • arrseegee
    arrseegee Posts: 575 Member
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    If you like him and want to see him again, then call. If he gets freaked out by that then there is a very definite signal that that's someone you don't need in your life. Don't start planning your wedding or asking him whether he wants to come home with you next Christmas already, but keep the communication open and if he's a decent guy (or girl if it's the other way round) then you can work out whether you want the same thing. If not, then you still had a night of good sexytime and you haven't lost anything....

    Except maybe your favourite bra, that's always to be avoided.
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
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    After our first time, I got up in the morning and made him a full English breakfast in bed. We are getting married in 4 months. :laugh:
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
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    I really don't think you should call. Men like to pursue. If he wants to see you again he'll call you.

    Gah. Perpetuating the games.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
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    games are for children.

    do what feels right to you.

    life is too short to always worry about how others will perceive you.
  • rexiecatmeow
    rexiecatmeow Posts: 43 Member
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    lmaooooo @ option 2.. something tells me if you text that you're pretty scott free on them pursuing you haha so its a good out!
    I text / call the next morning because I feel like it's pretty freaking rude not to


    even if it's just "hey thanks for a great time last night"

    or "hey, last night was fun, but you should probably be aware that they're shipping me out today. I can't reveal much but... aliens."



    wait no don't use that second one
  • Danny_Boy13
    Danny_Boy13 Posts: 2,094 Member
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    So really now. What are the rules?

    Is this really a topic for discussion??? I mean we are all adults... If someone has issues with this then I worry about how our society is doing downhill fast. *SMH
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
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    i try not to call cause most of those russians on the website charge like $4.95 + a minute
  • Dgydad
    Dgydad Posts: 104 Member
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    Who cares? Not me; I've been married almost 34 years! And what, pray tell, has this to do with fitness or weight loss? Maybe you should take this to Facebook........
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    Who cares? Not me; I've been married almost 34 years! And what, pray tell, has this to do with fitness or weight loss? Maybe you should take this to Facebook........

    You must be new around here. This is the chit-chat section. Maybe you should stick to the other sections. :flowerforyou:
  • ImpishVanity
    ImpishVanity Posts: 224 Member
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    If I like the guy and actually want to continue the relationship, be it romantic or just a casual situation, I will call or text the next day, unless he beats me to it. Honestly I don't care if it makes me seem "needy". So what? I have needs. If the guy doesn't want to fulfill them, he won't reply. A good guy won't care if you called first.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    So really now. What are the rules?

    Is this really a topic for discussion??? I mean we are all adults... If someone has issues with this then I worry about how our society is doing downhill fast. *SMH
    No matter your age, relationships -- especially new ones -- are difficult to navigate. People give mixed signlas, they bring previous experiences into it ...

    It's a mess.

    If it were easy, everyone would be happily married and no one would ever get divorced.

    And for what it's worth, I will fight to hold onto my relationship because I sure as hell don't want to date again!
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
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    Don't text first.

    Never text first.
  • GetSoda
    GetSoda Posts: 1,267 Member
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    The rule is this:

    You're 35, not 19. Assuming he isn't 19 either, then text/call whenever.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    guys do like to persue, and women do want to be wanted. but guys also like to be wanted. and women also like the chase. if it was fun, and you'd like to have sex again, does it really matter who texts who first?
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
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    I usually do not get texts from a woman unless she is a little
    -Doesn't text-
    Call me old fashioned... but a text? No way.


    Sex or a good date deserves a phone call if there is an interest in seeing someone again. No interest? No call. End of story.
    Hear hear, vj! Another reason why vj rocks!
    If you want to call, call. Don't play games and you will find someone else who doesn't play games, eventually.
    Wish the rest of the world thought like you!
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,643 Member
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    Maybe its just me.........but I don't **** just anything so I dont have to worry about this.......

    sad, that I am a guy saying this....

    seriously....
  • tibby531
    tibby531 Posts: 717 Member
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    the rules change, depending on which game you're playing.

    if it's "just for fun," typically the first person who wants another round makes contact.

    if it's something more emotionally attached, like you were talking (not just flirting, but actually talking) beforehand, then just stick to the same routine.

    and women seem to be famous for being fickle, so don't worry about seeming "clingy" now, you can always seem "detached" later. ;)

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