Weight loss jealousy

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  • airdiva1
    airdiva1 Posts: 198 Member
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    You will find that there are people who are unable to be happy for someone else. I have found this to be true with family members. True friends support and encourage you no matter what. They are with you when things are good or bad. You are doing what you want and what's right for you. If they cannot be happy for you then shame on them.
    So true! On Thanksgiving my uncle commented on that he could see my weight loss. Do you think that my parents said anything? Or even a great job? No! It hurts when those close to you should be the biggest cheerleaders. But I know that the only support is me and that's what I have to rely on during my journey to live a better life!
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    Girls are terrible.

    ^ That. And they also make me feel funny in my pants. :angry:
  • TheBoldCat
    TheBoldCat Posts: 159 Member
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    Laugh at them. They are jealous because you are much stronger and you have a self control. They have nothing so they gossip
  • triskaidekaphile13
    triskaidekaphile13 Posts: 92 Member
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    I also find the look of hate - and I am not joking - so awful it puts me off talking about healthy eating.... you know, when they ask how you lost the weight and when I say 'just watching what I ate, portion sizes etc' they look disbelieving at first..... they they say "did you not drink raspberry tea/do the 5:2 diet/drink shakes/live at the gym (or whatever is the fad atm) and when I sort of shake my head and shrug I have actually had women turn away and stalk off muttering..... and they don't look me in the eye for ages.
    I've had people asking me if I've had a gastric band fitted, others started a rumour that I had been seriously ill. When people ask me and I say I eat less and move more they seem extremely dubious and disbelieving. I work in a small team and have three male and one female colleague. They've been mostly fine although there has been some defensive comments when I get out my healthy packed lunch and they are eating deep fill sandwiches and two packets of crisps (each). However, it seems to be the wider group of women that mainly make the negative comments. The basic issue seems to be that they would like to lose weight but aren't prepared to do anything about it. When they find out that I don't have a miracle cure that involves no effort on their part they discount what I've done and decide I must not be telling the truth. Oddly the men have in the main been absolutely fine.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    okay, honest answer, ignore them.

    Not everyone cares about you. Most care only about their own problems. It's the way people are. Just move on and let it go.

    There's no sense in tying yourself in knots about things you cannot change.
  • Kevalicious99
    Kevalicious99 Posts: 1,131 Member
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    Honestly .. it is all jealously at work. They are pissed that you are getting fit, hot and trim and well they aren't.

    I have really good friends in real life and they all understand that this is not easy and they are all happy for me.

    Just ignore the negative people .. and there will be many. Be happy for the positive ones.
  • Cali_Chica
    Cali_Chica Posts: 895 Member
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    There are always going to be people in this world who can't be happy for others. They don't feel good about where they are so instead of building themselves up and doing something about it, they find it easier to just tear down others and diminish their success. It's THEIR problem, not yours. Ignore them and be glad you don't live in that state of mind. Congrats on your weight loss too. You look amazing.
  • linsey0689
    linsey0689 Posts: 753 Member
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    I don't really have an answer for you but I deal this all the time. I just try to next bring it up but when I wear new clothes that show my new body I'm bragging. What you want me to wear cloth 3 sizes too big forever no thanks. I just don't even comment anymore. Haters gonna hate
  • Amadbro
    Amadbro Posts: 750 Member
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    comes with the territory. Haters gon hate. They're jealous because they don't have the same drive and determination you do. Don't take it personally in reality, it's them being angry at themselves.
  • TropicalFlowerz
    TropicalFlowerz Posts: 1,990 Member
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    Hold your head up Beautiful!! You've worked so hard! Sometimes people are mean cause they're unhappy w/ themselves and just projecting.Brush your shoulders off! and keep smiling!!:drinker: :happy:
  • sugaspice999
    sugaspice999 Posts: 164
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    OMG, I'm going through the same thing (though I'm still not as fit as I'd like to be).

    Mostly with my sister! Especially because I fit into some of her clothes from before she gained some weight (shes 14). She's going through the same thing I did/am and I'm really want to be there for her, but she just kind of ignores me now and is extremely condescending to the point where I can't even connect with her anymore. But she's like this with the whole family most of the time, just more with me.

    You're already not boasting and talking 24/7 about working out/eating vegetables etc and how your life has changed for the better, so I don't really know what else you can even do. For me, I just try to not wear her clothes around her, and try to support her as much I can. Your coworkers are going to be jealous, because seems like they are not your true friends. If they were, they would stick by you and be proud of you!

    I lost a LOT of friends when I lost the weight! But I now realize they weren't really actual "friends". My parents were crazy slaphappy when I lost the weight and kept asking me tips/advice etc but it was weird for me because my ed had originally started from the abusive comments. It's actually funny when people say "oh, you look too skinny...anorexic...blah blah blah" but then they're also like "so how did you lose the weight...how much do you exercise...what type of exercise do you do?...can I come to the gym with you?....what are you eating?" LMAO I always get asked what I'm eating and if I'll take a gym buddy -_-

    Just be proud of your weight loss and let the haters hate and be jelly!!!

    (Ps, awesome transformation, you look amazing! :D )
  • marieskee
    marieskee Posts: 120 Member
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    They are secretly wishing it was then. They are laughing off the pain. It's hard for them to see you happy and a changed person. They are afraid of change. I don't know just a few options.
  • Cali_Chica
    Cali_Chica Posts: 895 Member
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  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
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    Just hold your head up high and be happy for you. Stay fabulous. Eventually, they'll get accustomed to the new you and forget about it. If not, oh well.
  • buffywhitney
    buffywhitney Posts: 172 Member
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    Thanks everybody! Your sweet comments and encouragement are appreciated :heart: .
  • pinkfanatic68
    pinkfanatic68 Posts: 25 Member
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    Sometimes as we get better..take steps to take care of ourselves.. others around us may get worse. Especially family members. You'd think they'd be the first ones to support you and cheer you on. :frown I learned this my first time going through inpatient treatment for my eating disorder. I think Dr. Phil refers to the person in need of treatment/therapy as the "identified patient". Example is my disorder and its symptoms were most obvious, and stirred up the dust and skeletons in my family's closet, so-to-speak. So they reacted in response to my disordered behavior. Then when I began working on myself, setting boundaries with them, etc... Well this caused a real shift in our relationships. During the times when I was/am refraining from my disordered behavior. They didn't have me for their scapegoat to blame all family problems on me. They had/have to look at themselves. We know how hard it is to get honest with ourselves about certain things. It's threatening to the status quo. It's like unburying family skeletons and secrets. It's hard to take, I know. :frown: It's so hard to accept that their reaction to your new healthy behavior is THEIR problem and they're trying to make it your problem. It doesn't lessen the hurt we feel when others turn on us. I'm glad you're reaching out for support from those (us) who have your best interest at heart.
  • pinkfanatic68
    pinkfanatic68 Posts: 25 Member
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    I almost feel sorry for those who can't be happy for someone else's achievements, etc... Misery loves company and they want to bring you down with them. I just don't understand feeling the need to bully/put others down to make myself feel good. Be proud of yourself for taking the necessary steps to take care of yourself.

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