Women..(or men) Worst pickup lines USED ON U...

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Replies

  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
    Many years ago when I was in the Army (IE: young and good looking), a girl walked up to me and said " Hey, I made a bet with my friends. They say that I can't get you to make out with me. I say that I can".
    Since I was married, I said "I am sorry but, you are going to lose that bet. I am married".
    She didn't believe me (I wasn't wearing my ring) so I finally had to call my wife over to prove it.
  • sally_jeffswife
    sally_jeffswife Posts: 766 Member
    If I told you that you had a nice body would you hold it against me?
  • arzu726
    arzu726 Posts: 39
    works every time...

    6756300_700b_v1.jpg

    Omg lmfaoooooo. That's amazing.
  • RockWarrior84
    RockWarrior84 Posts: 840 Member
    nice shoes wanna ****
  • SaintGiff
    SaintGiff Posts: 3,679 Member
    I've answered this in more descriptive terms elsewhere, but the just the line itself was "You'll do".
  • ajlandon
    ajlandon Posts: 115 Member
    In the check out line at Trader Joe's, surrounded by a disturbingly high number of women with infants:

    "It looks like there's a sale on babies, today. Would you like one, too?"
  • leaner426
    leaner426 Posts: 89 Member
    In the parking lot of Five Points Bar in Atlanta (I think that was the name). It was one of those places where people hang outside rather than inside. Three sweet looking, kinda innocent guys come up to me and a co-worker and say "How would you and your friend like to go to bed with me and my two friends tonight?" Nope, sorry.

    Then with a little more desperation he asks "Any two of us?....Any one of us?"
  • Trechechus
    Trechechus Posts: 2,819 Member
    I had this online dating profile, and they needed a tagline or whatever. My tagline was, "Teach me something new."

    This guy sent me a message that said, "I'll teach you to fu*k really good."

    Despite the horrible grammar, I responded -before blocking him- "By showing me what not to do?"
  • MissSaturday
    MissSaturday Posts: 784 Member
    no need of talking! jajaaj
  • leaner426
    leaner426 Posts: 89 Member
    I must not look very pickupable. No one ever uses lines on me.

    You and me both I don't get chat up lies used on me either...but i'm pmsl at the ones i'm reading on here!

    Don't knock it, I'd say you're both hanging out at the right places!
  • seanwatteau
    seanwatteau Posts: 1
    "hello"
  • KristinaB83
    KristinaB83 Posts: 440 Member
    My favorite to this day is:

    "Nice shoes! Wanna fu*k?"
  • mgorham13
    mgorham13 Posts: 168 Member
    I must not look very pickupable. No one ever uses lines on me.

    "damn girl, you thicker than a snickers bar. I'd like to satisfy your hunger"

    My gift to you.....I actually heard this used on my sister. I told the guy he looked like a whatchamacallit
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    I tend to walk late at night.. no traffic so I can walk in the street. The sidewalks in my neighborhood are too uneven... anyway one night at about 3am a guy in a black sports car passed me twice then turned around and stopped asked if I was single and would I give him my number.
    The line wasn't bad, but the time and place sure was.
  • waytobeduck
    waytobeduck Posts: 82
    I actually had this on used on me recently "Is your father an astronaut, because he took the stars out of the sky and put them in your eyes". I really had a hard time not laughing! I really didn't know what to think.
    - Asking me if it hurt when I came down from heaven
    - The whole "have you seen my beach ball? I think it went that way" flexing muscle thing
    - I think he was taking the piss because I was being really rude but, "I want to write a story about you! tell me everything!"
    - One asked me if i want ice-cream... he would not give up and I was trying to be so nice... it didn't end well for him :P
  • rach41413
    rach41413 Posts: 82 Member
    I was working front desk at a hotel at the time, he was a guest...

    Him: Hey, how are you?
    Me: Just fantastic, how are you?
    Him: Terrible!
    Me: Oh no, why is that?
    Him: Because I don't have you on my arm! (Holds out his arm in a gentlemanly way.)

    If he hadn't been 25 years older than me and extremely creepy looking, it totally would have worked! ;)
  • Gym_E_Choo
    Gym_E_Choo Posts: 4 Member
    "Are your parent bakers?"
    "No?! Why?"
    "Cuz they sure made a cutie-pie!":noway:
  • dysonspacz
    dysonspacz Posts: 76 Member
    "You know what they say about guys with big feet? They wear big shoes!" <---Not a pick up line but something i said in the first 2 minutes of talking to a girl. Four years later, she still has yet to get a restraining order against me! :)
  • bridgew24
    bridgew24 Posts: 143 Member
    'Hey you look like my ex-girlfriend ... want a drink?'

    Said by my actual ex-boyfriend. Too drunk/high to realize I WAS his ex-girlfriend!
  • paintlisapurple
    paintlisapurple Posts: 982 Member
    Ahahahaaaa! There are so many funny ones in here. If I had to pick, mine would have to be when I was at the beach (quite some time ago) and I was wearing a strapless one piece. These two guys walk up to me and one of them asks me, "Hey...is that your cat?" I just rolled my eyes and gave them the old, "whatever" because the cat was a picture on the suit. Seriously?!
  • Ophidion
    Ophidion Posts: 2,065 Member
    Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?











    Because it looks like you landed on your face!
    ETA: I kid, I just love that line.
  • ItsMeGee3
    ItsMeGee3 Posts: 13,254 Member
    You have a great *kitten* and legs, you should try running.
  • 2_6y_4_U
    2_6y_4_U Posts: 96
    "Are you from Tennesse?"(is that how you spell it?)
    "No, why?"
    "Cause you're the only ten I see!"

    It was a really stupid line but it got me into his bed.. may i mention, i was very drunk and thought "a gold sticker for trying!" xD
  • strops1965
    strops1965 Posts: 4
    chat up line used on me once in a night club. guy walks over to me and says your dress would look good one my bedroom floor how about ti then. lol
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,064 Member
    Another one but not mine....friend from high school was waiting at a bus stop in the shady area of our city and this guy came up to her and offered her $40 bucks for a good time.
  • JJHnIOWA
    JJHnIOWA Posts: 48
    For the licked-a-lot-a-puss line, the actual joke is what do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

    See, makes sense then. :-)

    What do u call a gay dinosaur?

    Mega-sore-*kitten*.

    RELAX PEOPLE, IT'S A JOKE.

    Here is one that always works for me:

    Excuse me, but do you wash your clothes in Windex?

    No, why?

    Because i can see myself in your underwear. *rimshot*
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    I think my favorite one that has been used on me was, " you have amazing 'posture.' " lol, real clever.
  • RadkaPrager
    RadkaPrager Posts: 190
    nice butt, wanna dance?

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