Depression

First and foremost, you are not alone. Next, you are vastly more strong than you give yourself credit for being. The emotional fortitude it requires to be honest about how you feel - even in an online forum - means you have the WILL and HONESTY you need to persevere and live a life of happiness.

I have suffered from intense depression at different times in my life and can completely relate to your situation. For me, low-dose medication has proved beneficial. It isn't a cure ... but it does help take the edge of what I call the "lows" so that I can stop the constant ticker-tape of self-hatred that seems to run through my mind during every second of every day.

Like you, I've been at the bottom when I've lost loved ones - my father to suicide and then my mom to lung cancer. I've been through a messy divorce and custody battle.

In the dark moments, when our hatred for everything we are makes us crawl out of our own skin, the best advice I've ever received is just to breathe. In. And out. To focus on breathing. To be aware of our own heartbeat. To know that we are alive. As someone who lost a loved one to suicide due to extreme depression, I know that there is a place of gratitude in my soul where I am, even though depressed, grateful to be breathing. To have a beating heart.

Remember that change is lots of little decisions strung together. Everything doesn't have to magically transform. Just one thing can be different and that is forward progress.

Please, please, keep the faith that life has so many gifts in store for you and that you CAN and WILL find your way into the light.

***hugs***

I've had depression myself, and I actually found that getting out of bed and doing something even if it's a little thing will bring back the motivation. You might not believe me but if you literally force yourself to do something, you will have a sense of accomplishment. That problem where you feel frightened and loathing yourself is just the depression talking, you can get through this, you just have to believe that in yourself. You can do this and lose the weight, and feel amazing again, but you have to want it.
The bad diet is probably comfort food, although I would suggest rather than changing everything overnight, do one thing at a time. If say tomorrow, what you achieved was for example going for a walk, then you've done something, you've achieved a goal, and you've made your first step. Then you take it from there, just baby steps.

I'm not very sure if this is helpful, but feel free to talk or message me anytime

I'd never have been able to pull myself out of my hole by myself...find a therapist. For some of us, we can't "just do it" alone.

It's totally okay to need help! Very few of us are able to find it within to be motivated 100% of the time. Just remember that you're never alone and it's okay to ask for help.

I have Bipolar type II, which includes many cycles of deep depression that come on suddenly, out of nowhere.
For me, the one thing that has helped me IMMENSELY is Transactional Analysis. Google it. It's a form of therapy, however I've never actually had therapy, I just research it all myself, and apply it to my own life and situation. Luckily, I have the ability of being truly honest with myself, and I love Psychiatry/Psychology/Medicine, so this works brilliantly for me.
I hope you find something that benefits you and your situation soon though

My biggest suggestion to you would be to seek help. I've lived with someone with depression and being able to talk to a professional makes all the difference in the world. Find a good therapist who you can talk candidly to. If you need to, get on medication to help you control it. There's nothing wrong with seeking help.

As you say the sudden weight gain is a bit of a surprise! I used to run 10km each day, until it hit, then i just couldn't find the motivation to do anything, and then there was the extra weight that suddenly made me feel even worse. What i found helped me (it may be different to some people) is to exercise. The endorphins generated from exercise allows our bodies to feel better and give you a little happiness boost though some exercise may seem like a dread to do like having to run or swim etc, I've found that Zumba has been a life saver! its so much fun! I've found my moods have become better and the weight is shifting as well (in the way i like) and you don't have to drag yourself to do it each time! But as they say, each to their own, I've just found that it helps me :happy:

I find at least part of depression stems from habit. You get into habits that give you a feeling of comfort, but tend to be counterproductive. So, I am working on developing new habits. One of which is going to the gym. Just the very act of
committing to going somewhere and doing something helps immensely. The actual exercise will then reinforce the
new habit by helping your mood. Oh, and I take vitamin D now too, that seems to help.

I think having a therapist/friend/doctor to talk to can also help immensely. It's not a route I've chosen to go myself. I find when I talked to friends about it it just became a negative feedback loop.

As someone who has suffered depression and comes from a family where mental health has been an issue I highly recommend seeing a Dr. Having a safe place to heal is so important. For me low-dose medication was key. Be prepared that it will not fix everything. Contrary to public belief there is no happy pill. It will however provide an emotionally stable place for you to start putting in the work to get better. Fighting depression is just as hard as living with it, but I promise you it's worth it.

Please feel free to friend me if you need support. Sending you love and courage.

It sounds like you've been through a lot. I found myself in a similar place over the last few years... that deep, dark depression. I am taking some antidepressants now and I'm getting ready to start talking with a therapist, as my doctor told me that the medication only helps so much but you have to do the work to pull yourself out. I noticed after starting the antidepressants that I had just enough energy to make some small changes (not too much to overwhelm me at first), but right now I'm starting with eating healthy. Over the last few years I have been using food as a means to comfort myself as everything around me falls apart. I want you to know that you aren't alone.

So start small. Really small. If its just too much to tackle an exercise program, set a manageable goal every day. Maybe it's only a 10 minute walk, but its still a success.

YES! this is EXACTLY what I did. We can handle pretty much anything for 10 minutes, right? The great thing about this is that if you just make it for those 10 minutes, you can feel that as a success,...but very often once we get up and moving, we realize it's not as bad as we thought it would be, and we can go for more...and that feels even better (which makes it easier the next time, because you remember that feeling)

Hello!
God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. Please first and foremost, pray to the God you believe in. It is powerful and it works.
I lost my job recently, I am a mother of two small children, high bills, and in a terrible relationship I am in the process of ending. The first thing I did was run to the gym. I am the heaviest I have ever been, and I have ignored it by allowing all of my accomplishments to make up for it.
The gym (since 1/16/2014) has helped me to release my frustrations, fight my fears, and continue working toward accomplishing a goal while going through the issues that I am going through right now. So far the scale has told me that I have only lost 5 pounds, so I turned to measuring different parts of my body with measuring tape. I have lost inches in areas that have bothered me for years! I see my body proportioning out, and it has only been a few weeks.
I joined Lucille Roberts and I only do the classes. All of the women there have a way of coming together and supporting one another as we go on our weight loss journeys.
YOU CAN DO THIS! YOU ARE STRONG! YOU WANT IT! DO NOT GIVE UP! PUSH YOURSELF TO NEW LIMITS! PRAY!!!!!
I promise you, once you begin to make the progress you are looking to make, there will be no turning back, just remember to say thank you! Praying for you!

Hi there, I think so many others on here can empathise with your circumstances. I honestly believe for a lot of people with weight problems, the weight is a symptom of other underlying issues like depression.

Personally, I've probably had depression and anxiety for a long time. I say probably because I never realised it and never got help until I had my son last year. Everyone around me and even I assumed it was post natal depression. It's only really since getting the treatment for this that I'm coming to realise it's been around a lot longer than that. I really would suggest getting some medical help, which is easy for me to say cos we have the NHS here. Although saying that all I really got from them was anti-depresents. The rest has been a combination of self help and I'm now having counselling sessions with occupational health at work. I've found the medication helps lift the fog so I can see things clearer for myself. Someone once described it as the first step on a ladder which you then have to climb yourself. It just takes the edge off so you can look at thinks more objectively. As for the self help, I've read some excellent books (I'll have a look on my amazon and post back with details!) which have given me good points to think about and work through myself. I write a journal and use that as my therapy too.

Be kind to yourself. You've had a rubbish time of it. You're whole life has turned upside down, you've lost your identify, support network and your self esteem has taken a battering. It's ok to feel angry at your OH and it's ok to feel pain and sadness at losing those close to you. It's just about not letting it consume you. I'll go and find those books now.

Your situation is so hard! I've had situational depression, too. But not for as many excellent reasons as you. Here's the good news: it can get better! I do think counseling could help you. Also, even if you begin anti-depressants, it doesn't mean you'll always have to take them. They can be a tool to help you get to your normal again and back on your feet.

I love the advice you've gotten about making a very small goal. Perhaps getting out of bed and brushing your teeth is even enough sometimes. Once you have one thing under your belt, try something a bit more.

I love that your asking for help here, but don't be afraid to ask friends or family or a therapist, too.

I've had depression from PTSD

take the fat loss slow and steady. Don't cut fats out of your diet, there's a link between insufficient dietary fat and depression, also, between vitamin D deficiency and depression, and vitamin D is a fat soluble vitamin. You do need to be careful with fats re portion control, because they're calorie dense, but include them as part of your diet. I aim for 40% carb, 30% protein 30% fat (i.e. by number of calories, not volume of food, as fat contains more calories per gram than protein or carbs) - also, aim to get most of the fat from high quality fats, i.e. those that contain omega 3s and/or fat soluble vitamins. Deep frying etc destroys a lot of the nutrients in fat. By all means have a little deep fried food if you really want to and can fit it in your calorie goal, but generally go for better quality fats: egg yolks, oily fish, fresh dairy (if you can digest it), nuts, avocado, cold pressed oils, etc.

Aim to get all the nutrients you need while staying within your calorie goal. The brain is an organ and just like your other organs needs sufficient nutrition for it to function properly. If you have depression (whatever the cause) this is all the more important.

Don't have too big a deficit. You only have 30lb to lose, so it's important for your physical health to take it steady. 1lb a week is a good rate of loss to begin with although as you get closer to goal you should switch to 0.5lb a week. Eating too little can make people feel tired and run down which is the last thing you want if you're trying to recover from depression. If you think that your diet is making the depression even a little tiny bit worse, then slow down your fat loss to 0.5lb a week or do more exercise so you get to eat more.

Do exercise. Personally, I've found strenuous exercise to be the best thing (after therapy) for keeping PTSD and depression at bay. The more strenuous the better, although even just going for walks has a positive effect. Lifting heavy weights has the most dramatic effect, and it's not just the thing of using up stress hormones and releasing endorphins etc, it's also because PTSD left me feeling extremely weak and vulnerable, and being able to squat and deadlift more than my body weight makes it hard to carry on feeling weak and vulnerable.... anything that makes me feel strong and capable is good for me

Getting enough sunlight is really important, try to get sunlight on your skin. This makes vitamin D (which helps fight off depression) and also just being outdoors in natural light is very uplifting. Depression often strikes in mid winter, because of this, even in people who don't have SAD (seasonal affective disorder - i.e. depression when the only cause is lack of natural light)

Do whatever you can do to reduce day to day stress, and as your depression is caused by a whole bunch of nasty life events, any ways that help you to express your feelings, like talking to a counsellor, beating the crap out of a punch bag, writing about it, whatever works for you, do this a lot. just so long as it works for you and you're not bottling up your feelings.

If you do all these things, the balanced diet, calorie counting + exercise should get rid of the extra lbs and leave you feeling much happier about yourself. Personally, i sometimes have issues of self-hatred (which comes from the PTSD) and it's easy to blame these kinds of feelings on being fat or whatever, but if they come from an illness then they don't go away when you lose weight, and you need to get rid of them through learning to accept yourself as a person, and other stuff that counsellors can help with.

God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. Please first and foremost, pray to the God you believe in. It is powerful and it works.

Totally agree!! Losing a loved one is so hard. Lost my oldest son almost 4 years ago. I started reading a daily devotional called "streams in the desert". Also started writing in a couple of journals. One was a grateful journal. Daily, my youngest son and I would write 3 things that we were grateful for. We soon discovered how much we had to be thankful for. My other journal was filled with things I wanted to say to my son that passed. It was hard to write in this one without crying. Also starting going to a support group, called grief share. Not sure if it's in your community? It was at our church.

I also understand about the husband/betrayal--other woman situation. (It happened a month after our son died). Really thought I was headed for a mental breakdown. If it wasn't for God's love, wouldn't have gotten through it.