ladies, late 20s childless? feelin pressured/stress?

*currently childfree, but wanting children*

I'm 28 and I want to have kids when I get the pounds off that I gained last year. However, I don't know how long it'll take and if I'm even ready... and I feel at 28, that I need to hurry up! Especially if I'm planning on having 2! I just feel like 28 years stuck up on me. The thought of waiting or having a child at 30 (my first) scares me. I know women do it more and more these days though.... I think if I knew I could handle it and get my body back, I wouldn't be so scared. Anyways, just a random post about my current dilemma.

I had both my kids in my early 30's. Currently working on getting in shape again. Just about all of my work outs include taking them with me but I'm able to do something every day. It can be done. I started about a month ago and I've lost 4 kilos already.

I have four children, but I'd just like to mention that my last two were conceived when I was 32 and 34 and I got pregnant within TWO weeks of trying for both of them, and they were both healthy, normal babies with no medical issues. And my mom was married at 30 and had eight kids in the next ten years (all of whom were healthy, normal babies as well.) So I'd say you still have some time, OP.


Edited to add: you won't get your old body back. Ever. But you can get a strong healthy, good-looking body after having children. I'm 42 and I constantly get told how I don't look like I have four kids, or how I look like I'm in my late twenties. So it's not impossible.

You need not rush, women have kids as late as 40, although I wouldn't recommend waiting that long.

I have friends who had planned for children and those who didn't (like myself). The reality is that you are never really ready. Babies are hard work and no one really tells you how hard it will be. Kids don't come with instructions, they scare the crap out of you, they make you smile, they worry you and bring joy. Most all once you have kids you will never get enough sleep ever again as long as you live. Mine is now 19 she is in college. A couple weeks ago phone rings at 1am, she is hysterical, why? she realized what the date was and she misses her Pop-Pop, my dad who had died 3 years earlier, it was his birthday. This was on a weekday at 1am, I had to calm her down and then of course I was sadder and missed him so couldn't fall back to sleep.

So you will never be prepared for kids and what they throw at you. also the weight, you can do whatever you want, I bounced back after the baby, I slowly gained the weight after that because I had to eat fast or I didn't get to eat dinner, or I had to grab whatever cause baby crying, running from work to a play date, running from work to dance, etc. So don't obsess over losing it before (btw if you are heavier you are less likely go gain as much), focus on learning healthy eating, especially while pregnant and try to keep that focus after the baby, you habits will teach the kid their habits.

If you want a baby, just go for it. Weight or not, scared or not, just grab for it. You will never be ready, but everyday is worth the journey and all the pain and discomfort is worth when your child says "I love you" or in my case while I was in Greece "I miss you". Honestly is the hardest and most rewarding thing you can do.

FYI, I don't think you must be a mom to be complete. I don't think anything should be forced. Make the best of the journey and just enjoy it all.

... I still NEVER WANT CHILDREN, despite all those people my WHOLE LIFE saying "one day you will" well guess what, not every woman on earth wants children.

^^^THIS x a googolplex.

Yep yep. I am 37 years old and my husband and I opted for permanent sterilization because we both have always known that we NEVER wanted to become parents.

And BTW it is only "childfree" when you make that decision as your lifestyle. It's "childless" when you DO plan to have kids later on or if you really want them but can't have kids for some reason.

ETA: It does not get easier as far as the Q's about "when are you gonna have kids?" I still have people telling me it's not too late and I have plenty of time, even though I am clearly in my mid 30s and there would be risks (if I had ANY desire to have kids, which obviously I do not). Women in my demographic are popping out babies 24/7 at this age. I kind of thought once I hit my 30s it would stop but nope...

I'm 27 and I hear ya! I can't tell you how many times my mom has told me she is ready for grandkids so I need to get out more. I want kids too but I'm still single and want to make sure the guy I pick is right before anything else. I suck at dating so it may never happen for me lol but that's ok I figure if it's meant to be it will happen when it's supposed to.

I think it is a huge difference between not wanting kids ever or maybe not jut right now.
If you never want children , who care shrug the comments off..
However if you do want kids, and has been happily married for a couple of years, thabis different. After 30 fertility rates goes done steadily and after 35, it is sinking. . Yes there are lucky women who get healthy babies, easy pregnancy in their 30's , but more often than not they struggle with conception more than people know around them. Many couple hide their infertility struggle from even the most immediate family, becaue it hurts so much and people can not help them anyway, and they may say thin tha hurst even more.

We started trying when I was 30 , had the first kid when I was 33, but already as a result of in- vitro fertilization. The very first treatment worked as I had like 60 % change for this as I was 32. We had our second when I was 37 , and it took us 4 invitro to have her an we were given like 30% chance per treatment. The pregnancy was much much harder, and the sleepless first year took a much bigger toll on me as well. Plus. Of to mention the fertility treatments 15K per in- vitro. Modern medicine can help a lot, but most couple do not have tens of thousand of dollars lying around to throw away just to have kid. Sometimes it maddens me that he money we spent on fertility treatments , could have been paid full education tuition + spending for our kids if we had put them into education funds, instead of paying medical expenses.

I agree with the other poster the longer you wait the more difficult is it to get pregnant especially after 35. I am glad I had my sons at 24 and 26 because at 40 I was full on menopause.