Tell your best joke!

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2

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  • JenniTheVeggie
    JenniTheVeggie Posts: 2,474 Member
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    A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

    The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to **** your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

    Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

    He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
  • smokeyg01
    smokeyg01 Posts: 1,064
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    A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

    The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to **** your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

    Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

    He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
    that's freakin funny
  • Deestrong68
    Deestrong68 Posts: 119 Member
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    A man is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet.

    "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet".

    He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in her other hand and takes a close look, and says "There is nothing wrong with them!"

    Finally, the man pulls off his oxygen mask and replies, "That was very nice but, are... my... test... results... back?



    LOL I could see that happening
  • missafan202
    missafan202 Posts: 16 Member
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    All I got are dead baby jokes...
  • JenniTheVeggie
    JenniTheVeggie Posts: 2,474 Member
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    Q: Why don't witches wear underwear?
    A: For a better grip on there broomstick!
  • tlcarolinagirl
    tlcarolinagirl Posts: 1,700 Member
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    Q: Why don't witches wear underwear?
    A: For a better grip on there broomstick!


    :drinker: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • smokeyg01
    smokeyg01 Posts: 1,064
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    Q: Why don't witches wear underwear?
    A: For a better grip on there broomstick!
    are you a witch?
    I've got a broom!
  • tlcarolinagirl
    tlcarolinagirl Posts: 1,700 Member
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    oh boy....and heeeere we go.....bahahahahhahaaha. Love it!!
  • JenniTheVeggie
    JenniTheVeggie Posts: 2,474 Member
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    Q: Why don't witches wear underwear?
    A: For a better grip on there broomstick!
    are you a witch?
    I've got a broom!

    Show me.
  • Sarasjourney
    Sarasjourney Posts: 24
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    Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands. I love this joke, it never grows old.
  • smokeyg01
    smokeyg01 Posts: 1,064
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    That's a different thread. Lets keep this one going lol
  • Annie81503
    Annie81503 Posts: 43 Member
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    How can you find Will Smith in a snowy forest??

    You follow the fresh prints!
  • sarkazm
    sarkazm Posts: 104
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    Wife steps out of the shower and her husband grabs her *kitten* and says... If you firmed these up a little you wouldn't need a girdle!
    The next day, wife gets out of the shower, her husband grabs her boobs and says.. If you firmed these up, you wouldn't need a bra!
    Next day... The wife is pissed! The husband steps out of the shower and his wife grabs his penis and says... If you firmed this up, I wouldn't need your brother!
  • I_am_Kara
    I_am_Kara Posts: 2,593 Member
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    There was this old man sitting on a bench when a teenage boy with a very brightly multicolored Mohawk comes and sits on the bench across from him. The old man stares at the boy, and continues to keep staring for a long time before the boy finally says,

    "What? You've never made a mistake before?"

    The old man replies, "Well, I had sex with a parrot once and thought you might be my son."
  • jennyjcss
    jennyjcss Posts: 439 Member
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    Wife steps out of the shower and her husband grabs her *kitten* and says... If you firmed these up a little you wouldn't need a girdle!
    The next day, wife gets out of the shower, her husband grabs her boobs and says.. If you firmed these up, you wouldn't need a bra!
    Next day... The wife is pissed! The husband steps out of the shower and his wife grabs his penis and says... If you firmed this up, I wouldn't need your brother!

    HAHA!! Harsh..I like her :wink:
  • HDHogger
    HDHogger Posts: 764
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    darkon.
  • jennyjcss
    jennyjcss Posts: 439 Member
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    So now we have 2 threads going on for joking around, can i copy paste all my jokes just to get this thread going?

    Haha!!! You joker!
  • HDHogger
    HDHogger Posts: 764
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    second best jole
    status
  • HDHogger
    HDHogger Posts: 764
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    you got to wait because it's Leg en dary
  • nickowastaken
    nickowastaken Posts: 751 Member
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    I just bought some aftershave that smells like breadcrumbs.

    The birds love it.

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