Call me IN§AN€..but I want MFP comedian/jokers to stand out

13

Replies

  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    does sarcasm count, or is this just a forum for want to be stand up jokesters/pranksters….

    Sarcasm always counts if it's funny. Or if it's cat gif related.
  • PghPensFan69
    PghPensFan69 Posts: 2,393 Member
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  • branflakes1980
    branflakes1980 Posts: 2,516 Member
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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Holy Hell! Thank you for this! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Capt_Inzane
    Capt_Inzane Posts: 733 Member
    I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

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  • jennyjcss
    jennyjcss Posts: 439 Member
    GooD Evening/Good Day all!!

    Here's something I wanna share with everyone:

    As a chinese asian,who lives in Borneo,dense jungle, I never come across the words 'Happy Humps Day'. My curiousity had gotten me, so I asked my great buddy, what is Humps Day? Is it a Public Holiday?or a Special Day that everyone celebrating? Do you guys go around and greet 'Happy Humping Day' ,like how we give greetings to everyone as a good day.
    I am certainly sure the word 'hump..ing' has another meaning for those dirty-minded. Somehow my question had poked his funny bones on his tall body.

    He LOL!! at my lack of knowledge on american culture. He had kindly explained that humps day is a term applys to middle of the week. So I guess I better greet everyone in advance

    " Happy Humps Day" :happy:
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

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    You used capital letters at the beginning of each sentence. I can't take this seriously! Oh. Never mind.
  • AKcanookie
    AKcanookie Posts: 230 Member
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    Every time i see this I *giggle* .. and pee a little..
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Laughter is the best medicine :happy::happy::drinker:

    Lies.


    ...vicodin.
  • AKcanookie
    AKcanookie Posts: 230 Member
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  • AKcanookie
    AKcanookie Posts: 230 Member
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  • jennyjcss
    jennyjcss Posts: 439 Member
    I recalled my happy hours with my great buddies (mostly guys and few ladies)

    This one guy was making a beer jokes on us. He said "You know, we have a house specialty, we can have a send me a girl".Then he shouted loudly to the waitress and said "Hey!! send me a girl". For those who dont drink beers or didnt recognised the beer brand available in Malaysia,may never be able to get his jokes.

    My good lady friend,she's not a frequent drinker,so her expression was priceless. Her response was "Wat!! You gonna have a 'paid lady' to sit with us?" " And you shout that loud!! My Gosh..everyone will think we are also being paid to sit with you guys" I laughed so hard on that remarks of her until my tears came out.

    When the bottles of beers arrived and put on our table, her face was totally red..the bottle's name is San Miguel (one of beers produced in Philippines). Whenever we have newcomers to join our group, I will always tease my guyfriend," Hey!Bro..order me the house specialty, send me a guy..make sure he is cool" You can imagine the expression of newcomers when they heard that words out from my mouth :laugh::laugh::laugh:
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    -bookmarks for later-
    I got nothing, I'm sleepy right now.
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    -bookmarks for later-
    I got nothing, I'm sleepy right now.

    WHAT! I am so disapointed right now :tongue:
    RIGHT?!
    I'm going to go hide now. Have to put on my smurf mask so I'm not recognized.
  • jennyjcss
    jennyjcss Posts: 439 Member
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  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member
    i love reading things like this, i wish i was this witty just to troll someone

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    I am going to copy this and send with Every FR on MFP from now on. LOL Brilliant
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    Oh and HAPPY HUMP DAY!

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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    This is something i would buy if a friend of mine is expecting a child

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    Ohhhhh, me likey!! Lmao
  • jennyjcss
    jennyjcss Posts: 439 Member
    Oh and HAPPY HUMP DAY!

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    HAHAHA!! That reminds me my own situation here


    As a chinese asian,who lives in Borneo,dense jungle, I never come across the words 'Happy Humps Day'. My curiousity had gotten me, so I asked my great buddy, what is Humps Day? Is it a Public Holiday?or a Special Day that everyone celebrating? Do you guys go around and greet 'Happy Humping Day' ,like how we give greetings to everyone as a good day.
    I am certainly sure the word 'hump..ing' has another meaning for those dirty-minded. Somehow my question had poked his funny bones on his tall body.

    He LOL!! at my lack of knowledge on american culture. He had kindly explained that humps day is a term applys to middle of the week. So I guess I better greet everyone

    " Happy Humps Day" :happy:
  • jennyjcss
    jennyjcss Posts: 439 Member
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  • jennyjcss
    jennyjcss Posts: 439 Member
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  • jennyjcss
    jennyjcss Posts: 439 Member
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  • Blacklance36
    Blacklance36 Posts: 755 Member
    Ok I got one.

    Guy walks into a bar and sits down. He is an alcoholic and his disease is tearing the family apart.

    Great, just the kind of reply we have come to hate from MFP trolls.
  • littlebutlean
    littlebutlean Posts: 2,159 Member
    Ok I got one.

    Guy walks into a bar and sits down. He is an alcoholic and his disease is tearing the family apart.

    Great, just the kind of reply we have come to hate from MFP trolls.

    Annnnnnddddd you've embarrassed yourself.
  • jennyjcss
    jennyjcss Posts: 439 Member
    This is funny and impressive at the same time (imo)

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    Hehe..makes me recalled my moment, being challenged to drink a bottle of carlsberg like that..by a guy.Next hour, i know I got dragged by two lady buddies of mine to car...What a shame, I had been called drunktard every since.

    I dont happy hours all the time,just a couple of times in a month. Never a heavy drinker myself
  • jennyjcss
    jennyjcss Posts: 439 Member
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  • jennyjcss
    jennyjcss Posts: 439 Member
    I used to be able to drink quite a lot. But since i've stopped drinking alcohol almost completly (i think i drink maybe 12 beers a year and perhaps 1 whiskey) i get tipsy very easy. Best decision i made to stop drinking alcohol and never looked back actually.

    I almost drive all the time when we go somewhere, so makes it easy not to drink cause i have 1 rule.

    NEVER, EVER! drink 1 drop when i need to drive

    One happy hours, abt 7-8 bottles,330ml,I can handle..more than that, might as well have ladies drag me.
    Nope..no guys allow to carry me, I am feisty, I swear like a guy, which makes guys freak out a lot ;P~

    So far so good, I never vomit like some do..its disgusting for lady to puke all over on someone
  • WonderCort
    WonderCort Posts: 123 Member
    Let me just say I LOVE your sense of fashion. Let me take a look in your wardrobe....I promise I will return anything I borrow. Even if that's your entire closet.
  • jennyjcss
    jennyjcss Posts: 439 Member
    Let me just say I LOVE your sense of fashion. Let me take a look in your wardrobe....I promise I will return anything I borrow. Even if that's your entire closet.

    DON'T touch my wardrobe ..You dont want to know whats inside my wardrobe..You will freak out! ;P~
  • jennyjcss
    jennyjcss Posts: 439 Member
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  • jennyjcss
    jennyjcss Posts: 439 Member
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    LOL! That is always a good one

    LOL!!! A guy do that to me..he gonna earn 3-inch heels on his rear..thats insulting to women