Husband forgot a double anniversary!?!?!?
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I've forgotten my OWN birthday before. :blushing:0
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He still thinks he has it right.
Now I will enjoy what he has planned and not give him an earful for this, I love him and the thought counts a ton. I'm simply trying to understand how he could've forgotten...
I can understand how he would have trouble remembering the date. I have a harder time how people get through life without calendars. I use a Google calendar and it even emails and texts me reminders. Come on. It's not 1990 any more.0 -
On my divorce papers my husband at the time wrote the wrong marriage date. We even had a blanket on our bed which was still on it with our wedding date... he also got the color of my eyes wrong. We were married for 6 years...0
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if he loves you 365 days a year, I don't think one day matters
and it seems to me if someone loves you 365 days a year, vilifying them for being "off" by a day is punishment for doing things right.0 -
Without details, I'm not going with mafia, i'm going with insider trading or embezzlement just based on OP's tastes and his willingness to proceed regardless.
I fear OP that since this was a traumatic day in his life he may WANT to forget and if you want to stay with him, you might want to have a recommitment ceremony or whatever they call those like second wedding or something. I think he and you both probably need to redefine and solidify your marriage post his mistake and it will also give you the opportunity to select a NEW wedding date which you will celebrate.
When you select the church to renew your vows I'd suggest asking them to provide you the same counseling they make new married couples take, just to see if your high expectations and demanding nature in any way led him to take such drastic measures willingly as to end up in handcuffs. You never know you might come out MORE committed, honest and bonded to one another than ever before once you suss out how that predicament really came about from you two and where his heart truly is despite the consequences of his mistaken actions.
Good luck OP hope you stop focusing on the minutiae which might be easier than dealing with the big fish you two have to fry.:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
im horrible with numbers. ill tell you its 10.5 and its probably closer to 6 (maybe 6.5 if its really humid)
if i say it was 45 minutes its probably closer to 5.36 minutes
im just bad with numbers all around, dates or otherwise0 -
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He's cheated on me and taken his ring off... so not so funny. cause he did that already
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He's been arrested, and has cheated on you. Not remembering an anniversary date seems to be the least of your/his troubles.
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What she said!0 -
I love this answer. Instead of making it a test by waiting to see if he remembers, this is a way to work around this minor fault. If he has the same attitude, I predict a long and successful marriage.gracielynn101 wrote: Mine has trouble remembering both my birthday and our anniversary. I remind about a week in advance by saying, "So for my birthday next Tuesday, I thought we could...". Whatever. That gives him a heads up and let's him know what I would like. Double win!0 -
Jumped right out at me, too.My husband planned an anniversary outing, but forgot when our anniversary was and planned it on the wrong day... why does this bother me so much... because a year ago on our anniversary he was apprehended and questioned by investigators, regarding something I am not at liberty to talk about, and i remember how sad it made me because I had big plans for our day (luxury car, massage, spa, private room in a nice restaurant, night out in a nice hotel, etc... all cancelled). Therefore I asked him to plan this year, because of the fiasco of last year, I just wasn't feeling up for it. And so he planned, and even with that more recent reminder, he still forgot what day our anniversary is! Knowing how much it means to kind of make the day special again and happy, especially following last year's disaster.
I asked him when did we get married and he rattled off the date, the wrong one, with such confidence... I asked when did the investigators take you away, and he does the same thing...
He still thinks he has it right.
Now I will enjoy what he has planned and not give him an earful for this, I love him and the thought counts a ton. I'm simply trying to understand how he could've forgotten...
So, let me get this straight...he was apprehended and question in what was likely one of the worst days of his life and you were sad because you had to cancel dinner???
Let's make it all about MEEEEEEEEE. Geesh lady. Give the poor guy a break now and again.0 -
See previous comment
Oh and I made my choice a year ago to stay with my husband, people make mistakes and we are all fallible, and ALL worthy of forgiveness.
He's a man, get over it0 -
Haha, my dad sent balloons, flowers and called me to say happy birthday a few years ago on September 30th. Um...my birthday is September 29th. For that matter, I am an only child, so it's not like he has several kids to keep track of. I actually found it humorous and laughed about it. At least he was close and made a strong effort. Love my dad.
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Wow you are getting some harsh commentary here. As someone who hates birthdays, forgot my own anniversary, and generally thinks most hallmark moments are BS, I can't really relate. On the other hand, if this was important to you, and you made that clear, I can understand your disappointment and I think you have a right to it. If I let my husband know something is important to me WHATEVER that may be, and he blows it off, gets it wrong, or doesn't appear to care - I am pissed and let him know. And believe me, after 25 years, it is a two-way street. I don't think this is about your anniversary, honey. It is about your disappointment in your marriage. And that sucks.0
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Give the guy a break. Dates, no matter how important are hard to remember year after year. I have to use my yahoo calender to remember all my dates and our anniversary. Doesn't make me or him a bad husband. my wife doesn't remember the date all the time. She might be off by a day or so. Who cares? It doesn't change the fact that we have a great relationship and I wouldn't trade her for anything in this world.0
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I got my date wrong too but my husband did not mind. We laughed it off. That was 25 years ago. Been maried 25 years now.0
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Wow you are getting some harsh commentary here. As someone who hates birthdays, forgot my own anniversary, and generally thinks most hallmark moments are BS, I can't really relate. On the other hand, if this was important to you, and you made that clear, I can understand your disappointment and I think you have a right to it. If I let my husband know something is important to me WHATEVER that may be, and he blows it off, gets it wrong, or doesn't appear to care - I am pissed and let him know. And believe me, after 25 years, it is a two-way street. I don't think this is about your anniversary, honey. It is about your disappointment in your marriage. And that sucks.
Wow! That is reaching pretty far to tell her she is disappointed in her marriage.0 -
If I want my husband to remember a date-I tell him... If he needs reminding, I will tell tell him again. It goes both way in communicating what we want. It makes for a stronger marriage. 28 years and counting!
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I say give the guy a break. I always have to check if mine is on the 20th or 21st. It's a mental block. I can't remember!0
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Without details, I'm not going with mafia, i'm going with insider trading or embezzlement just based on OP's tastes and his willingness to proceed regardless.
I fear OP that since this was a traumatic day in his life he may WANT to forget and if you want to stay with him, you might want to have a recommitment ceremony or whatever they call those like second wedding or something. I think he and you both probably need to redefine and solidify your marriage post his mistake and it will also give you the opportunity to select a NEW wedding date which you will celebrate.
When you select the church to renew your vows I'd suggest asking them to provide you the same counseling they make new married couples take, just to see if your high expectations and demanding nature in any way led him to take such drastic measures willingly as to end up in handcuffs. You never know you might come out MORE committed, honest and bonded to one another than ever before once you suss out how that predicament really came about from you two and where his heart truly is despite the consequences of his mistaken actions.
Good luck OP hope you stop focusing on the minutiae which might be easier than dealing with the big fish you two have to fry.:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
This is honestly some of the best advice I have seen!
We are celebrating our 6 years of being married, and were hoping to renew our vows at year 10! What a great way to set a date that doesn't have anything to do with the unhappy situation (you guesses are actually incorrect, my tastes are just expensive when it comes to surprises for him, I'm actually quite frugal).
We have been seeing our chaplain, pastor and a couple of counselors since the "incident" regularly and that is a wonderful idea to go through re-pre-marital counseling before we renew! Though I doubt they will lower my expectation of fidelity and demand for honesty in all things.
Looking forward to a great weekend... oooooo that's right, I can just make it our Anniversary Weekend!!!!!!
OP out - tata!0 -
I just lost my husband to cancer after 35 years of marriage. Don't sweat the small stuff. It's all over Before you know it and all this little carp doesn't mean carp in the big picture. :frown:0
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Did he forgot your anniversary when you were dating?0
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Wow you are getting some harsh commentary here. As someone who hates birthdays, forgot my own anniversary, and generally thinks most hallmark moments are BS, I can't really relate. On the other hand, if this was important to you, and you made that clear, I can understand your disappointment and I think you have a right to it. If I let my husband know something is important to me WHATEVER that may be, and he blows it off, gets it wrong, or doesn't appear to care - I am pissed and let him know. And believe me, after 25 years, it is a two-way street. I don't think this is about your anniversary, honey. It is about your disappointment in your marriage. And that sucks.
Wow! That is reaching pretty far to tell her she is disappointed in her marriage.
What could possibly be disappointing about being married to a criminal who cheated and took his ring off? :noway:
If mixing up the dates for an extravagant celebration of a day he probably no longer enjoys is the disappointing part, you just might be staring at a tree and not notice you're in a dark forest.0 -
He's cheated on me and taken his ring off... so not so funny. cause he did that already
And he's a criminal...sorry but NO. You should be heading to divorce court, not a hotel and limo, IMHO.
If she is still with him, that is up to her. Don't every women start telling her what she should be doing. This isn't your marriage.0 -
I just lost my husband to cancer after 35 years of marriage. Don't sweat the small stuff. It's all over Before you know it and all this little carp doesn't mean carp in the big picture. :frown:
This really puts things in perspective. So sorry for your loss.0 -
I really think it's a "guy thing" not to offend any guys on here though!
Nope. My wife can remember the date, but she can't remember the year - and thus, can't remember how long we've been married. BTW - it was 1998, so 15-1/2 years.
OP: It could be worse. He could forget he's married. :laugh:
He's cheated on me and taken his ring off... so not so funny. cause he did that already
OMG!
Just break up!0 -
My husband planned an anniversary outing, but forgot when our anniversary was and planned it on the wrong day... why does this bother me so much... because a year ago on our anniversary he was apprehended and questioned by investigators, regarding something I am not at liberty to talk about, and i remember how sad it made me because I had big plans for our day (luxury car, massage, spa, private room in a nice restaurant, night out in a nice hotel, etc... all cancelled).
So, let me get this straight...he was apprehended and question in what was likely one of the worst days of his life and you were sad because you had to cancel dinner???
That's honestly just a miniscule part of it... but like I said I can't go into details.... likely one of the worst days of his life = he knew what he was doing and still did it and got caught and ended up hurting his wife and 3 kids in the process
Please...
Just break up!0 -
If it wasn't for facebook my husband wouldn't know I have a birthday. Yours remembered to plan something to make you feel special. Even if its on the wrong day, just take it and be happy.0
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The only reason we can remember our wedding anniv is because its 9/11.
My husband remembers my birthday because its the same day as his brothers.
He has trouble remembering our kids birthdays though.0 -
What's a "double" anniversary?0
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