my son took down a bully today
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Good for your son! *high fives*0
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They call first :bigsmile:0
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I had to deal with something similar with my Son.
He was terrified to fight back because he didn't want to get in trouble.
I finally explained to him that, if he fought back, he probably WOULD get suspended but, he would not get in trouble at home.
I would ask the teachers for all the schoolwork and he would do the work at home and turn it in.
Well, two weeks later, it happened.
Kid knocked him off his bike at the bike corral and the fight was on.
He got three days suspension.
True to my word, he did his schoolwork at home. Funny enough, it only took him a few hours to complete.
This year, he is home schooled.
That bully taught him several things:
1: Life isn't always fair.
2: Sometimes you need to defend yourself even if you will get in trouble for it.
3: Homeshcooling is WAY better then public schools.0 -
They call first :bigsmile:
Hahaha. Good to know. Im getting over food poisoning. My house is a wreck thanks to my 4 and 2 year old.0 -
Bully dynamics are so complicated. yes it is wrong to respond to violence with violence. But I remember my mom telling me a story about how she dealt with a girl who was taunting her when she was a school girl. Basically as you said, "she took her down" she had no more problems with that girl, nor her minions that were egging her (the bully) on. basically that is how my parent's generation dealt with stuff like that. You had to stand up for yourself or be marked. The other option was to bring your big brother/sister in to set things straight. Now things are so different, but I bet that kid won't mess with your kid anymore. Somethings never change
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My son, 8 years old, has been having issues with a particular kid all year. There have been 4 instances so far, with today being the 5th. The 4th incident is when the kid kept pushing him off the playground equipment. My son went to find the person who was supposed to be supervising recess. He couldnt find her, and the entire time the kid was following him around punching him in the back and pushing him, leaving my kid in tears. I raised hell, was told the staff were between shift change, it wouldnt happen again, and the kid was given a referral and made to sit out recess the next day.
Today, basically the same thing happened again. And yet again, the person who was supposed to be surpervising was in the bathroom. According to the principal, my kid and I quote "grabbed him around the neck and took him down". He was given a referral, which was expected, but she wanted to make sure I was going to punish him. I informed her that I certainly would NOT punish him for defending himself. And that if her staff were where they were supposed to be, we wouldnt be having this discussion. She seemed shocked, informed me that of I wont punish him, then they would make him miss recess. And that they dont condone using violence in response to violence. Then she gave me a veiled threat insinuating that a call to CPS may be warranted. I just responded with, "do what you feel is appropriate, as will I" and walked out.
High five son.... high five...
Now Im waiting for a call from CPS. Or do they just show up?? I guess I better pick up the house.
If no one was there, how did they see what your son did? Is it just hearsay from other kids? Well, kids often lie, especially to protect someone like that bully who would beat them up if they didn't.0 -
Awesome. Your son did the right thing, went for help, none was around then protected himself. The principle can shove it.0
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My son, 8 years old, has been having issues with a particular kid all year. There have been 4 instances so far, with today being the 5th. The 4th incident is when the kid kept pushing him off the playground equipment. My son went to find the person who was supposed to be supervising recess. He couldnt find her, and the entire time the kid was following him around punching him in the back and pushing him, leaving my kid in tears. I raised hell, was told the staff were between shift change, it wouldnt happen again, and the kid was given a referral and made to sit out recess the next day.
Today, basically the same thing happened again. And yet again, the person who was supposed to be surpervising was in the bathroom. According to the principal, my kid and I quote "grabbed him around the neck and took him down". He was given a referral, which was expected, but she wanted to make sure I was going to punish him. I informed her that I certainly would NOT punish him for defending himself. And that if her staff were where they were supposed to be, we wouldnt be having this discussion. She seemed shocked, informed me that of I wont punish him, then they would make him miss recess. And that they dont condone using violence in response to violence. Then she gave me a veiled threat insinuating that a call to CPS may be warranted. I just responded with, "do what you feel is appropriate, as will I" and walked out.
High five son.... high five...
Now Im waiting for a call from CPS. Or do they just show up?? I guess I better pick up the house.
If no one was there, how did they see what your son did? Is it just hearsay from other kids? Well, kids often lie, especially to protect someone like that bully who would beat them up if they didn't.
The principal said they both admitted to it.0 -
Great job to your son for standing up for himself! I think i would have missed recess next day too, since i would have punched the principal too0
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Good for your son ! and good for you !!!
My son has been bullied since Kindergarten , he is now in his last year of Middle school … I have gone to school to talk to teachers and here the same crap - it will not happen again . No tollerance for bullying yet we are to teach our kids to walk away when they are bullied… they poke you and poke you, pinch you and pinch you and you are to walk away ??? I WISH I HAD TAUGHT MY KIDS TO SWING BACK AND MAKE IT HURT DOUBLE ! I son has come home with more black and blues on his arms because of this non sense to just walk away rule crap.
I commend you for sticking up like that , I wish I had . All the trips and letters I wrote to the school where for nothing. The bully just kept on bullying more to the point my son was afraid to tell me because that would mean I would go to the school and the bullies would hurt him even more.
I have wondered if you could press charges on the kid?? with the police?
Do what you have to to protect your son!!0 -
If the principal calls CPS, then the school and the principal open themselves up to a lawsuit for filing a false claim and retaliation. Clearly the principal does not think your child is endangered and is, in fact, bullying you into punishing a small child for acting in self defense.
Next time something like that is said, say so. The media would love to jump on this, and a hungry lawyer might have fun with it, too.0 -
:laugh: that's awesome0
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Being a mom of 4 boys and my oldest also being 8, I absolutely agree with your and yours sons approach. If my son was being the bully he'd def get disciplined a lot harder than him just defending himself! I can't believe the school actually told you they'd call CPS!0
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I'm not saying do this but it'd be funny to put this on 4chan with the school's number and let them get bombarded with calls.
Just the more I think about the principal threatening you ..just grrrr0 -
Yeah, the fact that the school official made any comment about how you raise your child would be enough to make me want to sit down with the principal and hash things out. They have no right to threaten you or try and discipline you as an adult, much less insinuate that you are raising your child incorrectly. My brother had to deal with this kind of crap growing up, constantly getting picked on (so did I but his was worse) and we are both lucky to be here after the pain we went through. My parents raised me to never start a fight, and I never did... but one day my dad told me, "If you can't end the bullying by finding an adult or with your words, you need to defend yourself." The kid 4 years older than me ended up with a broken nose after I piledrived his **** into the dry, hot blacktop like a *****. Worked for at least 5 years haha!0
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LOL ... My son has been instructed on how to take out bullies. Now they leave him alone. Good for your son! I guarantee the little **** will not bother him again! When administration came to me with the situation, I told them I was going to file suit for not providing a safe environment for my son. I had all of the instances of us trying to take care of it the "right" way documented as did I the effects of the bullying on his well being. Needless to say, no action was taken against my son.0
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Call the Superintendent and report the principal. Explain the issue -- there is no need to call CPS because of a situation like this, and threatening to do so is actually a form of bullying in and of itself. Also, obviously the school itself is incapable of handling bullying and supervising of kids, since this continues to occur. The district office and superintendent are the next logical step.
My experience with CPS was that they just showed up, without any warning, because they don't want to give you time to prepare (my ex-husband figured it would be a great way to get even with me for not being a properly submissive wife and staying miserable forever). It was a pleasant visit. She walked in, spent about 5 minutes talking to me, I called the sitter and had her bring the kids home early, she talked to them briefly, pulled me aside and said she could tell from the minute she walked in that her call was bogus, thanked me, and left. He apparently tried it one other time when we were in court (per documents released via court order during a later court time), but the notes on that file show that they didn't give it any credence and weren't going to investigate.
More than likely, the principal won't call, as s/he knows it's completely stupid and a false report. If she does, more than likely CPS wouldn't bother to respond unless she REALLY blows it out of proportion and twists everything. And if they respond, it will probably take about thirty seconds for the social worker to realize it was idiotic (unless you're a complete idiot and living in filth and come off like an abusive jerk....and you don't seem like that. LOL).0 -
I'm sorry this happened to your son.
I'm sorry the principal threatened you with something way out of left field.
It happens. Stay strong. I wish you were not now suddenly in an adversarial position with the principal due to her trying to force what goes on at home. I wish she would have noticed it is totally within her wheelhouse to enforce any discipline she sees necessary at school but not to tell you that IF you don't do something at home X or Y will happen.
Unfortunately all this takes the focus off the children who are the real ones who need the attention and solutions to make things work.
I imagine volunteers at recess time to oversee the kids and just have more eyes present might help as it seems the bully boy is opportunistic in his bad behavior as it seems from your stories that TWICE at least he is offending when others are not present.
There are probably a myriad of possible solutions that might help but they will be hard to get to now that the principal has taken her stance and you have taken yours. I hope something changes to correct that so that you can both focus on solutions that will work for both your child and the one instigating the problems.
:flowerforyou:0 -
I was bullied by a particular "tough girl" in high school. She would wait until after gym and corner me in the locker room and call me names. I finally got sick of it one day and got up in her face and told her if she wanted to fight then take a swing and we'd see what happened after that - that ended the bullying. She was only doing it because she thought she could get away with it and never thought I'd defend myself. My two sons have been told that I will not punish them for defending themselves.
If you have Netflix, take some time to watch "Bully" - a documentary about bullying in school. There are scenes where the school staff are saying they can't do anything. In another scene, a boy is bullied and does the "appropriate" thing and tells a teacher. The teacher finds the bully and then tries to force the kids to shake hands. The kid who was being bullied refused because he was sick of the school doing nothing about it and the teacher then called HIM a bully for not shaking hands. The school staff are pretty much inept and/or too saddled with policy to make much of a difference.0 -
They say they want kids to tell if they're being bullied. But when/if the bullied kids tell someone, they get in trouble for tattling in some schools!! I know this for a fact! Good for your son for taking care of himself when no one else was around to help him. Give him a high five from me!0
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High five for your kid!0
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The person who advised you to call the superintendent and notify him/her of the situation is right on the mark. Also find the name of the school board President and bring the incident to his attention. To further make certain that this principal gets the message loudly and clearly that (1) unsupervised children on the playground will not be tolerated and (2) bullying will also not be tolerated I would certainly make it known to the parents' organization that these things are going on and that the principal seems more interested in disciplining the students than taking responsibility for the situation.
The fact that the playground was unsupervised two times that you know of, means that these are not isolated incidents, but most likely a chronic condition. As another person posted, if there had been an emergency, the lack of supervision could have proven deadly. This is not the way to make certain that the students are safe in school.
Having been a teacher for many years and also having to perform playground duty, I can honestly tell you that there was never a time when only one person was watching over that playground. Too much can happen when children are unsupervised or undersupervised and I am not just talking about incidents between children.0 -
How dare the issue that no one was there to supervise not be addressed. Then again who's to say a blind eye wouldn't have been turned anyway?
As someone who was bullied too, I congratulate your kid for laying down the law with his bully. Maybe now that kid will think twice about messing with him.
That Principal's a joke.0 -
How dare the issue that no one was there to supervise not be addressed. Then again who's to say a blind eye wouldn't have been turned anyway?
As someone who was bullied too, I congratulate your kid for laying down the law with his bully. Maybe now that kid will think twice about messing with him.
That Principal's a joke.
Sadly the bully is now likely to turn his focus on another kid. They really need to address his issues/needs.
Apparently Principal badges are now being dispensed at random as cracker jack prizes. I thought it was just Cali.0 -
My kids haven't been the victim of a bully. But I remember telling them when they were in 2nd grade, after discussing this topic in school, that they first should find an adult. If they can't, tell the bully to stop in a loud and clear voice, not giggly and quiet. If that doesn't work, try to move away from the bully. If those three things fail, and they're still being bullied, then they need to defend themselves! Well, DD was 7 at the time and she told her teacher that her mom said she could hit back. Um...no, not exactly. When everything else fails, what's left?? Just take it? NO!! I also told DD's that they would NOT get in trouble if they has to resort to that. I'm sorry your son had to go through that, but good for him for NOT putting up with it one more time. He tired everything else, and this was what he was left with.0
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That's the problem with this country, YOU are in the wrong if you try to defend yourself.
Kudos to your kiddo.
This !0
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