Why does everyone seem to be doing better then me?

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  • Preesy
    Preesy Posts: 37
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    Don't think they don't notice. They're just too afraid to say anything! Right now your friends, family, coworkers, whoever are looking at you and thinking... Gosh, I think she lost some weight, but I really hate to say something if she didn't, because if she didn't, well then she's going to think I thought she was fat!

    Just keep going and before long they're all going to be falling over you with the great job pats on the back and you'll be loving every minute of it. Just keep the chin up and keep doing what you're doing because it's obviously working.
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
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    This reminds me of a Kurt Vonnegut story: on a certain planet they liked to publish statistics about average height etc. When an alien race decided to take over, all they had to do was switch those statistics to inachievable figures and the whole societiy's self esteem plummeted so badly that they let the aliens take over without a fight.

    OP, your weight loss has been better than average. Just as the figures you are seeing on your newsfeed destabilise you, you saying that you are unhappy with your considerable loss will be shaking someone else's self-confidence, as they question whether their 2lb a week is good enough or not.

    I've turned off the weight loss notifications because I don't want to be convinced that faster is better. I want sustainable weight loss and to know I can say goodbye to certain clothes sizes forever.
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
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    I'm very unmotivated at the moment. I've lost 24 pounds in two months and not only am I feeling unaccomplished, especially considering that on this websites' home page they have people boasting (rightfully so) that they have lost twice as much as me in the same amout of time, but also in the fact that no one has noticed. I understand that it's only important for me to notice the difference, but it's disheartening to think that I could gain 24 pounds right now and no one would notice that either. I just wonder if people will only see me as "fat".

    I know this is a bit of a pity party, I guess I'm just reminding myself to keep at it, "It's not a sprint, it's a marathon." Anyway, any stories of how you seem to stay with it would be greatly appreciated.

    24lb loss when you need to lose 100 won't be noticeable. Give it a few more pounds but truly: enjoy the time when they don't notice. When they start noticing they start saying things that can really mess with your motivation and your head. :D

    As to the only 24lb in 2 months... that's 12lb a month. That's 3lb a week. That's as fast as anyone can go. Nobody can go faster than that! What are you on about woman! that's stellar progress! If I can lose 12lb a month I'll consider myself the diet queen.

    there's a huge diff between 'oh, i've lost 4lb this week, it's my first week' and 'i have consistently lost an average of 1 1/2lb over a period of 2 months.' Huge.

    Don't compare apples to oranges. :)
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
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    Oh - and don't worry about the notifications that say 'x has lost 5lb since her last weigh-in' - she might weigh once a month. :p
  • alisonlynn1976
    alisonlynn1976 Posts: 929 Member
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    I'm only losing about 5 pounds a month, and I think I'm doing great. I think that slower weight loss is more sustainable.

    I do get encouraging comments from people I've told that I'm working on weight loss, but I don't get comments from people who don't know. That's a little disappointing, but I'm doing this for me, not them.
  • lovejoydiva
    lovejoydiva Posts: 5 Member
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    I'm losing about a pound a week. Sometimes I think that more should be coming off too but I realize that it took a while to gain all of this weight and it's gonna take a while to come off.
  • Darcie45
    Darcie45 Posts: 52 Member
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    I think that is a great loss! I've lost 19 pounds since the middle of July. My husband didn't even notice til last week. My closest friends have commented, but other friends and acquaintances haven't commented so much. I bet you are seeing the difference, and although we love to hear the comments and encouragement from our friends, that is important too!
  • GymPoet
    GymPoet Posts: 107 Member
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    I've lost around the same amount and got my first comment this week. I went from wondering why no one noticed to remembering how intrusive those comments can sometimes be.
  • lunaphilia
    lunaphilia Posts: 16 Member
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    Don't be dishearten!! This is about you!! :) Don't mind how people are progressing, just make sure that You are a better You each day!! ♡ Stay strong and motivated!!!
  • BonnieandClyde29
    BonnieandClyde29 Posts: 1,026 Member
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    It took losing 30 pounds for people to notice. I kept plugging away for me.

    Next time you're at the store, grab a 25 pound bag of potatoes and carry them around the entire shopping trip. You will quickly see what you have done for yourself.

    I figured I must have carried my weight well.

    Edited to fix typo

    That is a great idea from when your feeling discouraged!!! Think I may try that!!! Only lost 10 pounds myself and constantly no changes so I know the feeling....but we just got to keep at it!!!!
  • frommetobetterme
    frommetobetterme Posts: 124 Member
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    I know this is a bit of a pity party, I guess I'm just reminding myself to keep at it, "It's not a sprint, it's a marathon." Anyway, any stories of how you seem to stay with it would be greatly appreciated.

    I haven't read responses, so forgive me if I repeat.

    You remind yourself that it's not a sprint, it's a marathon, but you must also remember that a marathon is very much about being all by yourself, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other and not on what everyone else is doing. If it might help, instead of the race analogies, as that implied competition, also remember that losing weight is not a race.. it is a long and slow process... like moving mountains one rock at a time.

    From what you said, you've been losing about 3 lbs a week. Recommendations are to aim for 1-2 lbs, so you are doing quite well!

    As for other people noticing, sometimes it takes quite a while. Remember that most people are selfish and focusing on themselves, so they may not notice, or sometimes people just don't want to say anything because they're not sure.

    When I lost weight last time, it took a long time for people to notice the first big chunk of weight, but after that, they tended to notice smaller increments.

    Just focus on you, you're doing this for you, not for how others see you.
  • ckspores1018
    ckspores1018 Posts: 168 Member
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    It isn't a race or a competition. What you have lost is a big deal and you should celebrate it instead of feeling bad because of what others are/aren't doing.
  • billh50
    billh50 Posts: 2
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    The other thing is that they may have GAINED in the mean time and just lost the gain and maybe a bit more. MFP does not report the gains, only the losses. THANK GOODNESS! :-)
  • Anonycatgirl
    Anonycatgirl Posts: 502 Member
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    I can't speak for everyone, but I know I'm always cautious about congratulating someone on a weight loss unless it's a good friend and I know s/he's been trying to lose. Their body isn't my business, ya know, and I don't want to sound like I'm judging their heavier self. So maybe your friends and co-workers are just a little socially awkward (like me!) and not quite sure how to compliment the new you without dissing the old you.

    BTW, you're doing awesome work. It's bound to slow down a bit, but 24 pounds? I've lost 8 in just over a month and I'm thrilled!
  • mittenswillet
    mittenswillet Posts: 697 Member
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    you've lost a total of 54 pounds... thats insane in my books and thats something i can only dream about right now!!

    ive lost only 1 kg in nearly 2 months and right now ive put back on 7 grams of that due to trying to adjust my daily
    calories to work out whats right for me in order to lose.

    Youve lost sooo much so far, isnt that awesome in itself? i think so! =)
  • uconnwinsnc
    uconnwinsnc Posts: 1,054 Member
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    I'm very unmotivated at the moment. I've lost 24 pounds in two months and not only am I feeling unaccomplished, especially considering that on this websites' home page they have people boasting (rightfully so) that they have lost twice as much as me in the same amout of time, but also in the fact that no one has noticed. I understand that it's only important for me to notice the difference, but it's disheartening to think that I could gain 24 pounds right now and no one would notice that either. I just wonder if people will only see me as "fat".

    I know this is a bit of a pity party, I guess I'm just reminding myself to keep at it, "It's not a sprint, it's a marathon." Anyway, any stories of how you seem to stay with it would be greatly appreciated.

    Don't base your judgement of yourself on the success or failures of others.

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