Warning: This is a rant
Replies
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Why are you asking for advice if he only goes once a month? Why don't you ask a member of staff for help? that would have been more sensible that asking someone that clearly knows nothing about lifting and doesn't want to learn.
And find a better bloke!
Also if you really want to learn save up and get a trainer or find a gym buddy.0 -
Why are you asking for advice if he only goes once a month? Why don't you ask a member of staff for help? that would have been more sensible that asking someone that clearly knows nothing about lifting and doesn't want to learn.
And find a better bloke!
Also if you really want to learn save up and get a trainer or find a gym buddy.
lifting heavy won't make you bulky. If you're eating a calorie deficit (or just maintaining) then what it will do is tone you.
Get lifting!!!!
Oh, and ditch your BF he sounds like a prat!0 -
Um, is it possible he cant teach you because he really doesnt know how himself? He isnt a frequent lifter, so he may not really know. Also, he may feel threatened or feel like a gorgeous woman in the free weight room is attracting too many guy stares.
Call the gym. Sometimes, they will do one introductory for free for safety reasons.
I was thinking the exact same thing! He probably does not know the correct form or what type of exercises to do. I agree to call your gym and have a trainer introduce you to some exercises and correct form.0 -
Frankly, he doesn't sound like a nice or kind person.0
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You better sit your *kitten* down on something comfy because this is going to be a doozey.
tl;dr- Bf doesn't want me to lift. And he believes in spot reduction leeewwll
First of all, someone PLEASE send me links that proof you can't spot reduce. More on that later.
Let me start by saying my boyfriend is the worst gym buddy ever. Firstly, he goes to the gym like once a month. Secondly, he's wildly unsupportive. Today I went into the weight room and he looked at me like I was completely psycho. After doing some arm workouts I already knew how to do, I asked him to help me with my form and teach me some things. He did so by grabbing my forearm and kinda just flexing it. Real useful, sweetheart. I ended up going on the treadmill for the rest of the time there because I ran out of things to do and I wasn't about to hurt myself using improper form.
After the gym he could tell I was pissed. I told him why I was mad and he said just Google some videos for weight lifting. I asked why he couldn't just show me. Like, watching a video is totally different than having someone physically there to walk you through it. He told me I shouldn't be lifting because it's "for guys anyways" and I should look up some "female workouts"...what? I told him I don't like doing "girl" workouts and that I wanted to lift. He told me if I started lifting I would get "bulky" and my boobs would shrink. I wish you could spot reduce, buuut you can't. He didn't believe me. He likes to ignore science. Then he said something like, "Just do some crunches and you'll get a flatter stomach. The muscle burns all the fat surrounding it."
...no
But seriously, he should be happy that I want to lift considering as of right now, I can't lift more that 20lbs above my head. I'd hire a personal trainer but alas... I am broke.
Well that's my rant. If you actually read all this, holy **** I am so sorry. :flowerforyou:
You arent really sorry are you. Ranting is often a heat of the moment event. You sat down, turned your computer/phone/device on, searched for MFP and wrote a whole piece which you probably took at least a few minutes to write.
Apology not accepted...0 -
You better sit your *kitten* down on something comfy because this is going to be a doozey.
tl;dr- Bf doesn't want me to lift. And he believes in spot reduction leeewwll
First of all, someone PLEASE send me links that proof you can't spot reduce. More on that later.
Let me start by saying my boyfriend is the worst gym buddy ever. Firstly, he goes to the gym like once a month. Secondly, he's wildly unsupportive. Today I went into the weight room and he looked at me like I was completely psycho. After doing some arm workouts I already knew how to do, I asked him to help me with my form and teach me some things. He did so by grabbing my forearm and kinda just flexing it. Real useful, sweetheart. I ended up going on the treadmill for the rest of the time there because I ran out of things to do and I wasn't about to hurt myself using improper form.
After the gym he could tell I was pissed. I told him why I was mad and he said just Google some videos for weight lifting. I asked why he couldn't just show me. Like, watching a video is totally different than having someone physically there to walk you through it. He told me I shouldn't be lifting because it's "for guys anyways" and I should look up some "female workouts"...what? I told him I don't like doing "girl" workouts and that I wanted to lift. He told me if I started lifting I would get "bulky" and my boobs would shrink. I wish you could spot reduce, buuut you can't. He didn't believe me. He likes to ignore science. Then he said something like, "Just do some crunches and you'll get a flatter stomach. The muscle burns all the fat surrounding it."
...no
But seriously, he should be happy that I want to lift considering as of right now, I can't lift more that 20lbs above my head. I'd hire a personal trainer but alas... I am broke.
Well that's my rant. If you actually read all this, holy **** I am so sorry. :flowerforyou:
Girl get you a trainer, I'm sure your gym has some on staff that may help get you started and low or no cost.... Also the gym may also supply someone to show you how to do some things or look for someone in the gym doing stuff you want to do and ask them if they mind showing you some things, most would love to show what they have learned! .. And RANT AWAY, thats what we are here for
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Wait, why'd you rant about your bf and then get mad about people telling you to find someone who treats you better?
LOL
"My bf is treating me like this and I don't like it"
"So, break up."
"What? OMG He's a great bf you guys are so rude"
:laugh:0 -
See the funny thing is, he KNOWS how to lift. Early in our relationship he use to go to the gym all the time and boy was he ripped. Then he just stopped. I asked him to help me because I know he knows what he's doing. From what he said, it's like he doesn't want to help me because he's afraid I'll look like a man or something. "Girl workouts"? Please.
Whatever, I'll just ask one of the lady lifters to help me. :grumble:
That's stupid of him. I'm sorry. He should care more about you, your health, and your goals than your appearance. I doubt lifting would make you ugly, anyhow. I don't like it when guys are so critical of things like that. Just my opinion, he doesn't sound like a keeper. There have to be some guys who would love to have a gf who is supportive of their fitness hobbies, and are supportive back.0 -
Honey
I've heard and given a lot hotter rants than this!
You might just in the end go and trade that BF for a brand new one. Nobody, I mean nobody in this life needs to put up with that!
I'm no expert on spot reducing but I know that last time I shed 45 pounds I included a lot of sit ups and my tummy really went flat. I think that a person can concentrate on one area and find at least some results. A lot of the rest has to do with genetics. Some of us can't get that old washboard tummy or tight butt. We can exercise and get a flatter tummy or a smaller butt.
Most of all, I just want to say don't let someone upset you like this. I was married to one (*&%#) guy a long time ago. I lost a ton of weight A TON of WEIGHT and he kept on criticizing me even after I could look in the mirror and see one very pretty lady.
I went for a long time alone. Then I met someone who was supportive and accepted my efforts without criticizing me. Life is so different now and I know I am on my way to getting this weight off.
People allow themselves to stay in relationships which are toxic. Life is too short to live like this. Try to imagine life with a person who does not treat you this way. Now, what are you thinking??? Uh huh. :flowerforyou:0 -
Not worth the effort. Like I said. Life is short. There are a lot of wonderful men out there. I got one!0
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start lifting behind his back get super ripped show him what your momma gave ya and then dump his *kitten* for a real man. haaha but srsly he sounds like a douche.0
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that's easy look for someone fit on the gym and ask for advice and remember to go at your own pace0
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Break up with him, and give him this link.
http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/
Was a very informative article for me.0 -
Strong self confident women are very attractive to strong self confident men. He is not one of these. Good Luck to you. I'm on your side.0
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Why are you asking for help with lifting from someone who doesn't work out? I feel like you're setting yourself up to be disappointed.
Find a plan that works for you - StrongLifts or NROLFW and do your thing. Once your boyfriend sees the great results you're getting, he'll come around. There's a lot of misinformation out there in the real world, so he's probably just telling you what he hears on a daily basis - I know I avoided lifting for a long time because everyone told me I'd "get bulky", so I can't say I blame him for worrying.0 -
Actually it's been tested and there is evidence spot reduction can happen. The problem is that the amount of work one has to do to see a micrometer of loss isn't feasible. Here's the study:Re spot loss. Its difficult to prove that spot reduction doesn't work - its like saying prove green fairies don't live at the bottom of your garden :-)
http://ajpendo.physiology.org/content/292/2/E394
So in actual truth it can be done, but training one leg for over 1 hour to lose less than a millimeter of fat isn't significant enough to even notice, therefore the term "spot reduction isn't possible" is used.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
If he doesn't want to help you, then you could probably find someone in the gym that will.You better sit your *kitten* down on something comfy because this is going to be a doozey.
tl;dr- Bf doesn't want me to lift. And he believes in spot reduction leeewwll
First of all, someone PLEASE send me links that proof you can't spot reduce. More on that later.
Let me start by saying my boyfriend is the worst gym buddy ever. Firstly, he goes to the gym like once a month. Secondly, he's wildly unsupportive. Today I went into the weight room and he looked at me like I was completely psycho. After doing some arm workouts I already knew how to do, I asked him to help me with my form and teach me some things. He did so by grabbing my forearm and kinda just flexing it. Real useful, sweetheart. I ended up going on the treadmill for the rest of the time there because I ran out of things to do and I wasn't about to hurt myself using improper form.
After the gym he could tell I was pissed. I told him why I was mad and he said just Google some videos for weight lifting. I asked why he couldn't just show me. Like, watching a video is totally different than having someone physically there to walk you through it. He told me I shouldn't be lifting because it's "for guys anyways" and I should look up some "female workouts"...what? I told him I don't like doing "girl" workouts and that I wanted to lift. He told me if I started lifting I would get "bulky" and my boobs would shrink. I wish you could spot reduce, buuut you can't. He didn't believe me. He likes to ignore science. Then he said something like, "Just do some crunches and you'll get a flatter stomach. The muscle burns all the fat surrounding it."
...no
But seriously, he should be happy that I want to lift considering as of right now, I can't lift more that 20lbs above my head. I'd hire a personal trainer but alas... I am broke.
Well that's my rant. If you actually read all this, holy **** I am so sorry. :flowerforyou:
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Get this book - I just read it on my past two night shifts - it explains it all in simple terms (even a man could understand lol jk)
http://www.amazon.ca/The-New-Rules-Lifting-Women/dp/1583333398
edit: it will also give you an exercise program if you so choose0 -
Just 'cause he's a man...doesn't mean he know's what he's doing with weights.0
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http://www.amazon.com/Anatomy-Strength-Training-Essential-Exercises/dp/1607102048
The only book you will ever need. You don't even need a gym for it. Tell your boyfriend that you have a spare bra for him & then get on with your workout.0 -
I was in the same boat, only my fiance admitted he didn't know what he was doing either. Long story short, I picked up new Rules of Lifting for Women. This book changed my life. I didn't make my fiance read it either. I did my thing & he did his. For people who say "ask someone to help you," really? In my gym there's like 0 girls lifting. 3 if you include girls holding the 2.5 pound weights. & I've only seen 2 guys doing deadlifts!! There's a million guys doing arm curls or bench pressing. It's intimidating to be in the weight room. Guys stare & I'm not about to talk to any of them about anything, especially about form lol. Really?
1) Go get this book. It breaks everything down from nutrition to instructions on exercises.
2) YouTube & bodybuilding.com
Good luck girly 0 -
Just break up.
Took you long enough.... 12 posts in, I think.
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I would suggest asking one of the trainers at the gym to help you with your form. Like you said he is a bad gym buddy, so maybe leave him at home while you're busy looking awesome.0
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First of all, someone PLEASE send me links that proof you can't spot reduce. More on that later.
http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/research-review/are-blood-flow-and-lipolysis-in-subcutaneous-
adipose-tissue-influenced-by-contractions-in-adjacent-muscle-in-humans-research-review.html0 -
I've heard that the book "New Rules of Lifting for Women" (I may have the title wrong) is very informative. Maybe pick it up, first off, for proof that women lift, too, and for help with form? Also, just leave him at home when you go to the gym. The attitude he has will bring you down and take away from your gym experience.0
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My partner was very much like this for about a year. I explained it doesn't work that way and then just got on with my thing. The results speak for themselves after awhile so he came around. I know sometimes he still wishes I did less, but he has fully admitted that he was wrong and was being an *kitten* LOL.
I have no links, but IMO, once you've explained your thoughts on the matter don't converse about it anymore, just do your thing.0 -
I would lose the boyfriend0
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Also I am now training my partner, so how's that for a turn of events lol.
Obviously I disagree on the breaking up if the rest of your life is sweet, just keep your gym life separate0
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