How to be polite?

Thimbelinda
Thimbelinda Posts: 34 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
Is there a polite way to ask a "sexual" grunter to tone down the noise?

Here is the situation. Guy is grunting, sighing and moaning. He is doing this for every lift no matter weight size, even when doing pull ups. I felt very uncomfortable. My iPod volume was maxed out. I was about to leave when he packed up to leave. I believe grunting has its purpose. I believe in his right to grunt. I also believe we both should have the opportunity to utilize the gym without molestation.

Not looking for a debate, just some "friendly" advice. Is there a way we can coexist in harmony? I am hoping there is a way to work this out politely, rather than having to leave whenever he is there.
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Replies

  • jeneferphillips89
    jeneferphillips89 Posts: 268
    Bump, I need to see what others will say about this
  • chelso0o
    chelso0o Posts: 366 Member
    Tell a staff member that it is making you uncomfortable. They hear this all of the time and will most likely be able to take care of it.
  • jkestens63
    jkestens63 Posts: 1,164 Member
    All I can say is god luck with that. Personally I would move out of the general area. My plan is always to avoid and ignore. There will always be someone irritating nearby... The guy that gets on the treadmill next to you who smells like he hasn't showered in days, the two women getting into a screaming match over their favorite elliptical, the guys who can't seem to have a conversation in a normal tone of voice and with the f-word every two seconds, the chick in body combat who thinks it's the Olympics... And on and on. I just worry about me and do the best that I can, adapting as needed.
  • Thimbelinda
    Thimbelinda Posts: 34 Member
    All I can say is god luck with that. Personally I would move out of the general area. My plan is always to avoid and ignore. There will always be someone irritating nearby... The guy that gets on the treadmill next to you who smells like he hasn't showered in days, the two women getting into a screaming match over their favorite elliptical, the guys who can't seem to have a conversation in a normal tone of voice and with the f-word every two seconds, the chick in body combat who thinks it's the Olympics... And on and on. I just worry about me and do the best that I can, adapting as needed.


    That is all great advice. I appreciate it, however it doesn't answer the question.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    i got nothing. i've been around a few people that regularly make loud, disturbing noises while lifting. i just ignore them. it's a big gym, and i'm rarely in the same area with them for longer than 5 minutes. 20 years in gyms and i've never figured out a way to tell a guy that he sounds like an *kitten* without opening the door for a fight
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
    I honestly don't understand why it bothers you to the point where you would leave the gym because of it.
  • Thimbelinda
    Thimbelinda Posts: 34 Member
    I honestly don't understand why it bothers you to the point where you would leave the gym because of it.

    We all have different tolerances. My limit, apparently, is hearing "sex" noises from a young man about the same age as my son. I am sure other women would love hearing those noises.
  • LadyGodaimee
    LadyGodaimee Posts: 14
    I joined an all women's gym...that way its more comfortable.
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
    Humorous but harmless.

    Only way to go about it is to be a total jerk, I'm guessing? Record him and then play it back over the loudspeakers for him. He'll get the message.
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
    I honestly don't understand why it bothers you to the point where you would leave the gym because of it.

    We all have different tolerances. My limit, apparently, is hearing "sex" noises from a young man about the same age as my son. I am sure other women would love hearing those noises.

    I don't know about other women, but my brain doesn't register gym grunting as "sex noises".
    Perhaps the issue isn't with the actual noise, but with the way you think of it.
  • TallDave4296
    TallDave4296 Posts: 3
    I would love to hear you making similar noises at the gym!!! :)
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    I agree. i think you should make the same noises when he makes them...LOLOLOL

    might make him realize.

    and record it for us.

    mmkthxbye
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    I joined an all women's gym...that way its more comfortable.

    you prefer to listen to the sex noises of females instead of from males? me too! *high fives*
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I think you are the one with the problem. I would suggest that you desensitize yourself to such noises that you associate with "sex" IN YOUR MIND, by watching lots of LIFTING and other workout videos where sounds are made so that you may begin to associate those sounds with working out.

    I hope this will help you be a more tolerant gym goer. It's not surprising that until now you've only heard those sounds in a certain context but I assure you they are the natural emissions of exertion done through workouts.

    I would hesitate to talk to the gym staff because if there were ever a "for every finger you point, three point back at you" scenario ....THIS. IS. IT.

    I would not disclose that it sounds like sex to you b/c they might wonder how much porn you watch in your off time.

    I get it though, I really do. I'm just saying gym people are more used to those noises than you might be and it might speak more ill of you when you complain than of the offending grunter.

    Alternately, may I suggest doing some heavy lifting of your own so that his grunting might be drowned out by your own?
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    I agree. i think you should make the same noises when he makes them...LOLOLOL

    might make him realize.

    and record it for us.

    mmkthxbye
    Is this like that scene in Rain Man?
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I joined an all women's gym...that way its more comfortable.

    you prefer to listen to the sex noises of females instead of from males? me too! *high fives*

    ...and now I will add to my checklist when gym shopping "all male for the noises" which will be a difficult list to achieve b/c I also want it to have sparkly weights, rose scents piped in through the vents, fancy shampoos and towel service.
  • SaintGiff
    SaintGiff Posts: 3,679 Member
    I honestly don't understand why it bothers you to the point where you would leave the gym because of it.

    We all have different tolerances. My limit, apparently, is hearing "sex" noises from a young man about the same age as my son. I am sure other women would love hearing those noises.

    I don't know about other women, but my brain doesn't register gym grunting as "sex noises".
    Perhaps the issue isn't with the actual noise, but with the way you think of it.

    Exactly what I was about to say. Only you said in much more politely. I mean, seriously, who is OP having sex with that they make noises like someone doing deadlifts???
  • Thimbelinda
    Thimbelinda Posts: 34 Member
    Being a former Army Combat Medic, I have spent a lot of time around men, in and out of the gym. I assure you I can tell the difference. Thanks anyway for your "friendly" advice.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    maybe joining a new gym would be a better option. i know if i were approached by someone asking me to be quiet (and we're not in a library, church or classroom) then i would make MORE noise.

    and i agree with the person who said they dont associate grunting with sex noises.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Being a former Army Combat Medic, I have spent a lot of time around men, in and out of the gym. I assure you I can tell the difference. Thanks anyway for your "friendly" advice.

    Oh i see, so then it seems you are actually saying that the young man is PURPOSELY making DISTINCTIVELY sexual sounds? Is that right? If so, no need to be polite.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    Being a former Army Combat Medic, I have spent a lot of time around men, in and out of the gym. I assure you I can tell the difference. Thanks anyway for your "friendly" advice.

    army combat medics listen to a lot of men having sex? seems weird
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    Join Planet Fitness?

    I think they have the lunk alarm for that.
  • BostonStrong617
    BostonStrong617 Posts: 117
    Talk to the girl he's banging?
  • ModernNerd
    ModernNerd Posts: 336 Member
    Channel your animal instincts and out-grunt him

    ...but this could be perceived as a mating call *rubs chin thoughtfully* though I suppose not everyone would see that as a bad way to settle things...

    Whatever floats your boat OP, I'm not one to judge :flowerforyou:
  • TallDave4296
    TallDave4296 Posts: 3
    Nope, they sounded sexual and not like typical lifting noises!!!
  • LadyGodaimee
    LadyGodaimee Posts: 14
    I joined an all women's gym...that way its more comfortable.

    you prefer to listen to the sex noises of females instead of from males? me too! *high fives*

    LOL NO! It's just more comfortable and cleaner. Plus none of us don't really make any form of noise lol.
    Totally unclassy! ha
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    i got nothing. i've been around a few people that regularly make loud, disturbing noises while lifting. i just ignore them. it's a big gym, and i'm rarely in the same area with them for longer than 5 minutes. 20 years in gyms and i've never figured out a way to tell a guy that he sounds like an *kitten* without opening the door for a fight

    pretty much this …

    just turn the music up in your headphones..

    there are a few guys at my gym like that …I just mentally laugh and ignore them.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    Maybe try a Planet Fitness. They don't allow lifting weights there.

    FIFY
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    The way I see it you can politely say, "Ahem...could you please stop making your sex grunting noises when you lift. Thank you." To which he (if he is young and arrogant) will probably reply with louder, more obnoxious grunting.

    Really...don't bring it up to him. Speak to management.

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