How to stay motivated while being depressed/after a relapse?
nenshali
Posts: 331 Member
I thought I'd open up this thread because I didn't see a similar one around; if I overread it, I'm sorry!
I am recovering from an eating disorder and have dysthymia (not fulfilling all signs of a depression, but the symptoms I have, exist already a couple of years) and it's sometimes really hard to maintain strong.
A huge problem is the sleeping factor. I switch from insomnia (not being able to fall asleep; not being able to sleep through the night; waking up pretty early, around 5 am, and falling back asleep several times without feeling rested) and hypersomnia (sleeping 10-14 hours a day, still feeling crappy, and if I try to sleep less, I'll fall asleep over the day, sitting on a chair on something).
When you have symptoms of a depression, it's hard to continue being active, because your head (and your body) screams for rest. All you want is lie down. But the point is, it's the wrong thing to do.
Because you won't get any energy back, you'll simply start feeling even more worn out.
So I thought I'd just sum up a few things I collected over time and if you want to correct me or add something, feel free to do so! Many of the things I want to post are by the way also helpful if you had a relapse and binged again/stopped going to the gym or whatever
The first ones are mostly about being active.
1. You don't need to feel motivated to get something done.
While it is important to listen to the borders your body is telling you, a tricky thing is to ignore the voice that wants you to lie on that couch and eat a package of chips. You don't need to finish a super- intense workout, but getting active in the first place is really important! Be it going out for a long walk, ride to school/work/university by bike, doing some yoga in the morning. Start slowly- but start!
2. Don't expect the very best if you start again!
Especially if you have sleeping problems, have eaten unhealthily for a longer period of time or if you haven't exercised for a week or longer, your body will propably notice. You will feel sleepy, not being able to do as much as you want.
I was really disappointed when I wanted to go for a run and I barely managed to run 2km on the treadmill instead of my usual 5km. It was annoying. But patience is the key.
Give yourself time to recovery properly, to find strength and motivation again, to build up some muscles etc. It'll help!
3. Don't change everything at once.
If you are a starter and you haven't lived quite healthily until today, I can only suggest you not to change all of your habits at all. Why not? Because you'll go to that for 1 week, 2 weeks, maybe a month, but eventually you might fall back into old habits. If a diet or your workout plan feels like punishment, it's not very likely that you'll stick to it.
4. Search for workouts you enjoy.
Sometimes it is necessary to go through things we don't really enjoy. Because they are effective, for example. But if you are a beginner and/or you are feeling depressed, it's hard enough to get yourself to the point to actually getting active again. So many kinds of sports exist; watch out for a type of sport you can really enjoy!
Be it swimming, spinning, lifting weights, pilates, zumba etc. There are many different kinds; sports you can do alone, with a friend, in a group. Start with something you feel comfortable with.
And eventually, you can try to bring up some variation and combine some things (lifting weights + cardio is quite effective, for example). But first of all, try to learn how to LIKE sports. It shouldn't be a punishment or something you need to endure to get the body you want.
5. Do something every day.
This is a tough one. Especially when I am "in my hole", my muscles hurt quite easily and the sore muscles won't be there for 1-2, but fo 5-6 days, even if I chose a light workout. So I really mean it; do something every day. It does not need to be a 50 minute workout every day. As I said before; it is okay do start slowly, just DO it. Do something. Go out for a walk. Take the stairs. Do some yoga while you're brushing your teeth. Everything helps! And day by day, it will be easier to include sports in your daily life (again).
6. Don't change your eating habits too radically.
While it now depends how you are eating in general, I can only suggest you, not to cut out too many things at once. Step by step. Your eating habits will slowly change, and so will your cravings. But if you cut out all of the bread, rice, noodles and chocolate at once, it can become hard to stick to it.
Instead, try to change your meals into healthier meals. For example: Instead of spaghetti (130g raw) with tomato sauce and cheese, you could try cutting down to 70g of spaghetti (raw), adding some fresh tomatoes, zucchini, paprika, whatever you like, and choose a sauce which is not filled with sugar.
If you combine the meals you are used to and you love with things that are healthier for you, you'll slowly start to prefer the healthier options, because you get used to them without the feeling that you have to cut out everything you love.
7. Eat enough - try not to overeat.
Having a mental illness can cause you both to loose your appetite or not feeling full and craving many foods. The problem with this is not only that it's unhealthy for your body, but that you often numb your feelings with food.
Try eating enough every day, even if you don't feel like it. And if you feel like overeating/bingeing, try to think about what you really want right now. It will take some practice, but eventually, it will become easier for you to realize that you are not really craving the whole box of chocolate, but instead you are feeling rejected because your boyfriend cancled your date.
And while trying to eat healthily (and this way, taking care of your body and getting all the nutrition you need), I'd add some treats here and there. Add some chocolate sprinkles to the oatmeal you are eating in the morning. It's okay, as long as you don't feel like you MUST eat it now. And if a binge happened; try not to worry too much about it. Simply try to continue with all of it as if the binge did not happen.
8. If you tend to have binges, try to find out which kind of binges you have.
I, for example, have a sweet tooth and 80% of my binges are focussing on chocolate, cake and stuff like that. If you crave for the same things over and over, there are two possibilities
1. your body is missing some nutrition. If you are craving for chocolate constantly, it could be that you need more magnesium.
2. it's an emotional craving. in this case, the chocolate could mean that you feel rejected and that you are craving for love, affection and intimacy.
I like to take a look at this page: http://www.martinechin.com/3167/food-cravings-and-what-they-mean/
I don't know whether it is really (on a scientific basis) 100% accurate, but my personal experience was that I found this page helpful when dealing with binges.
If you get to the point that food is simply food.. something you can enjoy, something that tasted good, that gives you energy, and you let go of the idea that food will change about anything you feel (anger, fear, sadness etc.), you will eventually stop having those cravings and it'll not only be easier to eat healthy, but it'll also be easier to eat some of the food you really like (in moderation, but more often).
9. Try to eat regularly.
My doctor told me I should try to eat 3 main courses and 2 small courses (like a yogurt, an apple or something). between the main courses shouldn't be more than 6 hours time difference and I should eat breakfast within 2 hours after getting out of bed.
I never liked to have breakfast and wasn't much a fan of this idea, but I must say, it was quite helpful. You tend to feel satisfied through the whole day and the structure gives you more safety. If you are not a fan of preparing meals, try to prepare 2-3 meals at once, so you simply have to make it warm again!
10. Cut out the diet/light products!
Simply because they can trigger the depression (several studies exist for this, I can search for some reliable sources if anybody is interested, I just don't have any links around right now, it was about diet coke and similar drinks) and it messes up your blood sugar.
If they cut out the fat %, they have to add either sugar or sweetener to maintain an acceptable taste. And after they want to keep down the calories, they'll often use sweetener. The same, of course, goes with sugar- reduced things.
To have some low-sugar or low-fat food here and there is okay, but it'll propably satisfy you for a longer time if you choose the full- fat- yogurt; and no risk of falling back into the depression.
I hope those information were helpful for some of you. Please keep in mind that I am not a specialist, just a girl who collected both her own experiences and the once of friends who struggled and/or general stories about weight loss/activity/depression.
I cannot promise you that everything I said is correct and if you are unsure, please search for a reliable source.
Thank you all
I am recovering from an eating disorder and have dysthymia (not fulfilling all signs of a depression, but the symptoms I have, exist already a couple of years) and it's sometimes really hard to maintain strong.
A huge problem is the sleeping factor. I switch from insomnia (not being able to fall asleep; not being able to sleep through the night; waking up pretty early, around 5 am, and falling back asleep several times without feeling rested) and hypersomnia (sleeping 10-14 hours a day, still feeling crappy, and if I try to sleep less, I'll fall asleep over the day, sitting on a chair on something).
When you have symptoms of a depression, it's hard to continue being active, because your head (and your body) screams for rest. All you want is lie down. But the point is, it's the wrong thing to do.
Because you won't get any energy back, you'll simply start feeling even more worn out.
So I thought I'd just sum up a few things I collected over time and if you want to correct me or add something, feel free to do so! Many of the things I want to post are by the way also helpful if you had a relapse and binged again/stopped going to the gym or whatever
The first ones are mostly about being active.
1. You don't need to feel motivated to get something done.
While it is important to listen to the borders your body is telling you, a tricky thing is to ignore the voice that wants you to lie on that couch and eat a package of chips. You don't need to finish a super- intense workout, but getting active in the first place is really important! Be it going out for a long walk, ride to school/work/university by bike, doing some yoga in the morning. Start slowly- but start!
2. Don't expect the very best if you start again!
Especially if you have sleeping problems, have eaten unhealthily for a longer period of time or if you haven't exercised for a week or longer, your body will propably notice. You will feel sleepy, not being able to do as much as you want.
I was really disappointed when I wanted to go for a run and I barely managed to run 2km on the treadmill instead of my usual 5km. It was annoying. But patience is the key.
Give yourself time to recovery properly, to find strength and motivation again, to build up some muscles etc. It'll help!
3. Don't change everything at once.
If you are a starter and you haven't lived quite healthily until today, I can only suggest you not to change all of your habits at all. Why not? Because you'll go to that for 1 week, 2 weeks, maybe a month, but eventually you might fall back into old habits. If a diet or your workout plan feels like punishment, it's not very likely that you'll stick to it.
4. Search for workouts you enjoy.
Sometimes it is necessary to go through things we don't really enjoy. Because they are effective, for example. But if you are a beginner and/or you are feeling depressed, it's hard enough to get yourself to the point to actually getting active again. So many kinds of sports exist; watch out for a type of sport you can really enjoy!
Be it swimming, spinning, lifting weights, pilates, zumba etc. There are many different kinds; sports you can do alone, with a friend, in a group. Start with something you feel comfortable with.
And eventually, you can try to bring up some variation and combine some things (lifting weights + cardio is quite effective, for example). But first of all, try to learn how to LIKE sports. It shouldn't be a punishment or something you need to endure to get the body you want.
5. Do something every day.
This is a tough one. Especially when I am "in my hole", my muscles hurt quite easily and the sore muscles won't be there for 1-2, but fo 5-6 days, even if I chose a light workout. So I really mean it; do something every day. It does not need to be a 50 minute workout every day. As I said before; it is okay do start slowly, just DO it. Do something. Go out for a walk. Take the stairs. Do some yoga while you're brushing your teeth. Everything helps! And day by day, it will be easier to include sports in your daily life (again).
6. Don't change your eating habits too radically.
While it now depends how you are eating in general, I can only suggest you, not to cut out too many things at once. Step by step. Your eating habits will slowly change, and so will your cravings. But if you cut out all of the bread, rice, noodles and chocolate at once, it can become hard to stick to it.
Instead, try to change your meals into healthier meals. For example: Instead of spaghetti (130g raw) with tomato sauce and cheese, you could try cutting down to 70g of spaghetti (raw), adding some fresh tomatoes, zucchini, paprika, whatever you like, and choose a sauce which is not filled with sugar.
If you combine the meals you are used to and you love with things that are healthier for you, you'll slowly start to prefer the healthier options, because you get used to them without the feeling that you have to cut out everything you love.
7. Eat enough - try not to overeat.
Having a mental illness can cause you both to loose your appetite or not feeling full and craving many foods. The problem with this is not only that it's unhealthy for your body, but that you often numb your feelings with food.
Try eating enough every day, even if you don't feel like it. And if you feel like overeating/bingeing, try to think about what you really want right now. It will take some practice, but eventually, it will become easier for you to realize that you are not really craving the whole box of chocolate, but instead you are feeling rejected because your boyfriend cancled your date.
And while trying to eat healthily (and this way, taking care of your body and getting all the nutrition you need), I'd add some treats here and there. Add some chocolate sprinkles to the oatmeal you are eating in the morning. It's okay, as long as you don't feel like you MUST eat it now. And if a binge happened; try not to worry too much about it. Simply try to continue with all of it as if the binge did not happen.
8. If you tend to have binges, try to find out which kind of binges you have.
I, for example, have a sweet tooth and 80% of my binges are focussing on chocolate, cake and stuff like that. If you crave for the same things over and over, there are two possibilities
1. your body is missing some nutrition. If you are craving for chocolate constantly, it could be that you need more magnesium.
2. it's an emotional craving. in this case, the chocolate could mean that you feel rejected and that you are craving for love, affection and intimacy.
I like to take a look at this page: http://www.martinechin.com/3167/food-cravings-and-what-they-mean/
I don't know whether it is really (on a scientific basis) 100% accurate, but my personal experience was that I found this page helpful when dealing with binges.
If you get to the point that food is simply food.. something you can enjoy, something that tasted good, that gives you energy, and you let go of the idea that food will change about anything you feel (anger, fear, sadness etc.), you will eventually stop having those cravings and it'll not only be easier to eat healthy, but it'll also be easier to eat some of the food you really like (in moderation, but more often).
9. Try to eat regularly.
My doctor told me I should try to eat 3 main courses and 2 small courses (like a yogurt, an apple or something). between the main courses shouldn't be more than 6 hours time difference and I should eat breakfast within 2 hours after getting out of bed.
I never liked to have breakfast and wasn't much a fan of this idea, but I must say, it was quite helpful. You tend to feel satisfied through the whole day and the structure gives you more safety. If you are not a fan of preparing meals, try to prepare 2-3 meals at once, so you simply have to make it warm again!
10. Cut out the diet/light products!
Simply because they can trigger the depression (several studies exist for this, I can search for some reliable sources if anybody is interested, I just don't have any links around right now, it was about diet coke and similar drinks) and it messes up your blood sugar.
If they cut out the fat %, they have to add either sugar or sweetener to maintain an acceptable taste. And after they want to keep down the calories, they'll often use sweetener. The same, of course, goes with sugar- reduced things.
To have some low-sugar or low-fat food here and there is okay, but it'll propably satisfy you for a longer time if you choose the full- fat- yogurt; and no risk of falling back into the depression.
I hope those information were helpful for some of you. Please keep in mind that I am not a specialist, just a girl who collected both her own experiences and the once of friends who struggled and/or general stories about weight loss/activity/depression.
I cannot promise you that everything I said is correct and if you are unsure, please search for a reliable source.
Thank you all
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Replies
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I saw a few threads about depression and dieting, so I'll bump this one up again, maybe it's helpful for someone 0
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Well stated. Thanks. Too many people wait for MOTIVATION as if it were a magic cure. By pushing through and doing what you know you must inspiration and motivation come eventually.0
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This is really well put. I think everyone struggles with "motivation" because results don't happen overnight. That's why starting slow and not making drastic changes is more sustainable: you don't feel like you're giving up everything (or doing things you hate) but not getting anything back (i.e. not losing weigh immediately).1
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In my case, a big problem was that I wanted to be "perfect". And this "perfect" was a fixed point in the future which was never achievable in real life.
But now that I am simply trying to give my best, I'm achieving more than I ever did, even though it's not perfect. I don't need to workout and eat perfectly every day! But a short workout is better than the one I only imagine
If we open up more and stop wanting those drastic changes as you said, then it's actually possible. 2 -
bump1
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Good common sense reminders for the not so newbie anymore !!!!
Newbies reading will find this simple straight forward advice very helpful!!! Good job.0 -
I love this. Thank you. 0
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These are all awesome points. I'm pretty much doing most of these things now. One thing I want to mention about the movement/exercise tip is to know that exercise (no matter if it's a good walk or a hard workout) will probably help noticeably when dealing with a depressive episode. I find it helps with the fatigue aspect which in turn helps me run out of steam normally in the evenings and sleep at a decent hour instead of being overtired insomnia-girl. I'm guilty of ignoring my own advice and finally just reached the point where I know something has to change or I'll be selling myself short, which is why I've kicked my butt into gear and signed up with the site. My holy trinity for coping with depression (and chronic pain) has usually been good diet, trying to have good sleep hygiene and trying to be physically active. Sometimes when I feel myself slipping into my black hole, getting on track with these things can jump start the ability to see things with positivity again.
*edited because I can't type.1 -
I am bi-polar and a recovering alcoholic. Over the past several years I have gained 57lbs and am struggling to loose the weight and live healthy. I started using MFP again in January and lost 6lbs in the first two weeks. The third week I gained 3lbs back and the scale hasn't budged since. Thank you for the tips it helps to see advice from someone else who knows what it feels like. Right now every movement I made feels like I'm in quick sand. Of course I'm on medication. I was off meds and that when the weight loss happened. On meds - weight gain.
Sarah1 -
Argh I totally forgot to mention medication!
Of course, medication can have a huge impact on your weight gain/loss! Some make your appetite grow like hell, others mess your metabolism up. There is not much you can do about it (as long as you need to take them, and most of the time, they are necessary!), but you should always keep in consideration that you can NOT expect from yourself what a 'healthy' person could expect, because it's an aspect you have no control over.
All you can do is, after all, try to follow the advice I gave (and maybe there is more I forgot to mention), because that's what YOU have power and control over!
@sad_kitty, I must confess that it's the same with me, I can greatly give advice but sometimes, I lack at following my own advices. That was one reason for me to create this thread, to remind MYSELF what is important. I think it's a common thing to slip off now and then, but as long as you get back on track and take care of yourself, it will be fine. You are doing great!
And Sarah, I'm so proud of you! It has been a tough way for you. I know it's not always easy, especially with meds in mind. But better times will come, it will become easier and you can improve your condition. It's not about being better than anyone else; it's just about being a better, healthier, happier version of yourself!
And no matter how many times you might fall, you are in the position to decide to continue going forwards again. Don't let the scale discourage you. Don't think of it as a weight loss journey. It's a journey of health. It's about getting to know yourself better. It's about how you can improve yourself and your situation. It's about loving yourself.
And the weight loss is just a bonus side product, because the better you treat your body, the greater will your results be in the end!
I wish you all so much luck! I know you are all fighting very hard 1 -
bump 1
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I need to read this everyday0
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And you should!
I think it's really, really important to remind yourself over and over that you are doing okay, that you need to take care of yourself. And this can mean that you get off that couch and take a lang walk; but sometimes it means that you need to cuddle up with many blankets in your bed and drink a hot milk with honey.
It's not a competition, it's a journey, so take your time and do your best, that's all you need to be proud of what you do! 0 -
I have clinical depression & generalized anxiety disorder; I'm recovering from self-injury. The best thing for me has been to focus on the food and not force myself into activity. I wouldn't be performing at my best anyways & I recover more quickly when I allow myself rest (instead of forcing myself into activities).1
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Resting is definitely very important, yes!
I wanted to underline the importance of activity because many people who are depressed, feel empty and powerless and they feel like they need to caught up on sleep and rest all the time. But lying down and sleeping the whole time just makes it worse and gets you into a vicious cycle.
Of course, individual conditions always play a role and I do not say that it HAS to be this way for everyone. And I assume, if this helps you best, that this propably falls under the category 'Taking care of yourself', which is perfectly fine! 0 -
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Bumping cause I need this in my life....0
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♥♥♥0
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Thanks! This is such really good advice. It made me feel good reading it- like l can do this. Thanks again:)0
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Great post OP! :flowerforyou:
I think #1 is so important. I wasted a lot of time waiting to feel motivated to do stuff. Sometimes you just have to do it. Easier said than done, depending on the severity of depression, but for me, if I can manage to get up, showered, and go to work, then I can manage to fit in some exercise too.
Personally, I find exercise a really helpful tool in managing my moods, but there are so many days when I really can't be bothered. I work with a "bare minimum" standard that I commit to. So, if I'm going for a run, I'll tell myself I'll run for a certain minimum time before I get to go home again. 90% of the time I end up running for longer. If I'm lifting weights, I have certain lifts that I commit to, and optional extras if I feel up to it. That way, if I'm really down, I may not be getting the best workouts in, but I'm doing something.
I don't follow # 9 myself, and find intermittent fasting works quite well for me, but I can definitely see how "little and often" would work for some, especially for keeping blood sugar stable.
I think this is an important point too. I think it's important to find a balance between pushing yourself to do what you need to do for your health, but also not being too hard on yourself, especially if that's part of your history anyway. It's hard to know the difference sometimes though.I have clinical depression & generalized anxiety disorder; I'm recovering from self-injury. The best thing for me has been to focus on the food and not force myself into activity. I wouldn't be performing at my best anyways & I recover more quickly when I allow myself rest (instead of forcing myself into activities).0 -
Yeah, #9 was/is important for me because I have a dysfunctional relationship with food in general. I do know about the health benefits of fasting and in general I think it can be a good thing; I forgot to mention it (+ is my list kind of a lot about structure. structured days, structured sleep, structured fitness and eating etc) and even though fasting can have good benifits, it can mess the rest up a little bit (if you are too focussed on food, I mean.)
and I think having some days where you do simply nothing is absolutely fine (and sometimes NECESSARY), I absolutely agree! Sometimes you NEED the rest and it's especially for your mind.
I just stressed the 'small but daily' exercise so much because while working in a psychiatry I got to know how many people struggled with getting out of bed. It was not about a workout, it was not even about a 5 minute walk in the park.
And I know that feeling, both the one where your body feels so eternally heavy that you cannot get up and simply the lethargy.
And the regular activity is simply for breaking out of this vicious cycle of lethargy.
But it's hard to tell the difference, sometimes. And I agree that I have my days where I don't want to do ANYTHING and where it's perfectly fine to do so. It's not always about pushing myself. And if you have a slight idea of what you REALLY need right now, I think it's perfectly fine to listen to whatever your body tells you
and thank you all so much for these awesome replies :blushing:0 -
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Thanks for sharing :-)0
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I came in here fully expecting to see something much less positive than this. Living with some conditions myself it drives me insane to see them used as crutch or excuse. That is not at all what I found here.
Thank you so much OP for these workable reminders and motivators. Well done :flowerforyou:0 -
I have a loved one who suffers from dysthymia as well. Thank you for posting this, I will be forwarding it to them!0
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Aww I'm so thankful for all of your positive reactions :flowerforyou:0
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I really wish MFP have a "like" button! 0
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Thank you so much ♥0
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Such a good post. Definitely going to come back and read this every now and then. Thanks OP!0
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Anyone on here using fitbit? Need some buddies on there too
Thanks0
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