Am I the only one who HATES comments on my loss?



  • I thought I was the only one who felt that way also. Not from people on this site but in life work and social. I had someone who would keep saying, I'm so jealous. You lost sooo much weight. How much weight did you lose? I find people do not know that that is not an always polite thing to do. They would make me feel uncomfortable because they kept bringing it to attention. Like a broken record. I would use this as one of my excuses for messing up. I sometimes wish I could do what I need to do, lose the weight but other people wouldn't be aware of this. Silly I know. But it would be less stressful for me.
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
    Do you think the comments in the real world put to much pressure? That's what I feel . If I gain some back because of a bad week then I'm conscious of their comments.

    On here I love the support it's very uplifting. I guess the difference is most people here are on the same journey.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
    I think people have gotten a bit too sensitive.

    We live in society, and not everyone can read your mind to check and see what your personal pet pieve compliments are to avoid.
  • amy32lynn
    amy32lynn Posts: 157 Member
    Yeah! The nerve of some people, thinkin' they can just walk around complimenting people! Keep it to yourselves, jerks!!
  • larrodarro
    larrodarro Posts: 2,512 Member
    I like it when folks tell me I'm looking good. But as I lost weight, {almost 50 lbs so far} I have had to buy new clothes. Now I'm wearing nicer clothes to work. As the baggy jeans and t-shirts got too baggy, I replaced them with slacks and dress shirts. So they are complimenting my wardrobe as much as my weight loss. Now the how are you doing it question can get tiresome. Since I'm doing two low calorie days a week, it can get hard to explain. And if people seem to truly want to know, I will tell them. But as far as my view of myself, I have always been that 160 lbs, 17 year old boy in my eyes, even when I was at 250. I never give much thought to what others think. That is beyond my control, so why worry about it. I like myself, and that is all that matters.
  • aluethi1
    aluethi1 Posts: 97 Member
    I love when people notice. It lets me know that even though I don't see the change, other people do. And it's nice to be noticed for doing something good once in a while. :)
  • nenshali
    nenshali Posts: 331 Member
    It made me angry when the first comments (from my family) came.
    Comments like "omg you look like you lost 20kg!" (it were 3-4kg)
    and that my face looks "much less fat than before"

    it just makes me think "okay, obviously I have REALLY been that disturbingly fat and hideous and ugly as I thought if everybody notices and comments in such a nasty way."

    But fortunately I have also gotten entirely harmless, purely nice comments, that I lost weight and that it's noticeable, that I didn't HAVE to lose any more weight and that I was already amazing before, but that my current body suits me great and that I look much more healthier and happier than before.
    I don't get many comments like this, so that's when I'm really happy about it.

    But most of the time, it feels like an offense, that's why I prefer it people shut up about it most of the time.
  • MarlaVSings
    MarlaVSings Posts: 66 Member
    I'm not crazy about the comments either. Especially at work. If someone pays me a quick compliment it doesn't bother me, but the ongoing commentary (is THAT all you're having for lunch?) is irritating.

    That said, if anyone were to ever show genuine interest in advice on eating or workout regimen I don't mind offering up what works for me. But in my experience when people have asked me that question, they are usually looking for some fad diet or quick fix for an answer.
  • SMarie10
    SMarie10 Posts: 953 Member
    Just lie and tell them you haven't lost any weight and don't know what they are talking about. End of conversation.
  • lemur_lady
    lemur_lady Posts: 350 Member
    Sometimes yes. While I like that they are noticing my loss in my head im screaming 'nooooo im a work in progress dont look at me till I am done!' lol
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,771 Member
    Sometimes yes. While I like that they are noticing my loss in my head im screaming 'nooooo im a work in progress dont look at me till I am done!' lol

    Now, I do understand this. When they ask how much weight loss, I tell them 35-40lbs. And I want to tell them there's another 35-40 to go, but I don't want to come across as self-deprecating.
  • dunnodunno
    dunnodunno Posts: 2,290 Member
    There are times I really hate people commenting on my weight loss or weight in general. I work with the public & hear everyday that I should stop losing weight, people asking what I am eating or doing to lose weight, if I had weight loss surgery, or they don't want to hear that I am losing weight just by counting calories for the most part & some exercise. I swear this one person every time I see them they say, "wow you're losing weight," as if they forgot they told me that the last time they saw me.

    I especially hate when people ask me how much I weighed before as if that's any of their business? How would they like me to ask them how much they weigh?

    I had someone today say, "wow you must've ate around 5,000 calories," when I told them that I eat around 2,000 now & not some low calorie diet.
  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,224 Member
    Yes, I look very different. Yes, I'm much healthier. No, you may not touch me and no it's not your business to broadcast my weight loss to the world. I can't believe people would not understand how this violates someone's personal space. My wife can touch me (and is encouraged to do so :bigsmile: ) to verify the loss. All others...HANDS OFF!

    And yet, they do it anyway. Not everyone. Most people just say something and move on-and that's nice. The ones that make a public spectacle and start touching and stuff make me feel like a carnival attraction. That is the kind of commentary that is uncomfortable. Everything else is really just fine. It's nice to get compliments. It's not nice to be manhandled.
  • I feel the exact same way, but for a different reason. My fathers side of the family is extremely overweight, and they all suffer from diabetes. My mom is obsessed with me not becoming like them. Even though I get tested regularly for diabetes and I'm no where near their weight, she is constantly worried about it because I'm in a wheelchair and can't exercise.

    I understand her concern and where she's coming from, but she takes it to the extreme. And if I lose weight, she hounds me about keeping it off, and wants to know what I'm eating and etc.

    My friends and family know this is a sore subject for my mom and I, so if I lose weight everyone wants to comment on it, but in reality I just wish they would ignore the subject. It's embarrassing for everyone to know my issues with weight/food, but it's hard when weight is such an external visibility.
  • kar328
    kar328 Posts: 4,135 Member
    I swear this one person every time I see them they say, "wow you're losing weight," as if they forgot they told me that the last time they saw me.

    This^^ I have a coworker who tells me this every time she sees me. We work 12 hour shifts, her on days, me on nights so there are times she'll tell me this on two shift crossovers twelve hours apart! While I appreciate the support, it kind of loses something there lol. Most of the time I"m fine with it, not overly fond of the coworkers in general, but their comments have mostly been supportive and not intrusive. There's one who will now ask "is that chocolate you're eating?" as I walk by and I simply answer "Yes." She tries to tell me what's good and what's not on occasion. I do like her and try to give her a pass as English isn't her first language and having worked with lots of people over the years from other countries, I know there are cultural differences in the way we say and do things. I know she means well.

    The overall comments are fine as it took me a long time to see the difference in myself so when people started commenting it was some validation to me that it was working. I didn't tell anyone what I was doing but I have enough weight to lose that eventually it started to show. They know I'm on here but nothing specific. I keep my "friends" list full of people I don't know in real life so I can be honest with myself, talk about numbers, etc. And I fully appreciate the support of my online friends.
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
    I am an introvert by nature. I don't like people up in my business.
    I'm sensitive about this too. I'm proud if they notice (and a couple did - but in a respectful not up in my kool-aid kind of way that I appreciated). I warned them that I'm not comfortable about the crazy attention (that some love - and that's ok) and didn't want to talk about it or I'd start feeling weird about it and stop. They understood. Others probably wouldn't. Others would project their extrovert selves onto me and make it into a "thing."

    This, ^
    and this v came to mind....

    Do you think the comments in the real world put too much pressure? That's what I feel . If I gain some back because of a bad week then I'm conscious of their comments.
  • Praying_Mantis
    Praying_Mantis Posts: 239 Member
    I agree with you, OP. Comments on my weight are not compliments.

    A compliment is "That shirt is a great color on you", not "You've lost weight". My size or shape is not open for commentary.

    Thinking of it -- why do people think they're complimenting, when they're just stating a fact or asking a question?
    "Did you get your hair cut?" is NOT a compliment. "Cute haircut" is a compliment.

    /end rant
  • shanpwn
    shanpwn Posts: 66 Member
    I don't love it, it makes me feel like my body is public property. I know most people are paying me a compliment, but I'd prefer they just said I looked healthy.
  • bettyjoburdett
    bettyjoburdett Posts: 120 Member
    How about the comment " Oh you have such a pretty face" and inside they are saying, too bad your so fat! It's like people had to find something to say and that was all they could come up with.

    Oh, and I used to have an Aunt who I saw maybe once a year would always offer me money if I would lose weight. That made me feel really bad!
  • littleburgy
    littleburgy Posts: 570 Member
    It's possible that people that ask about what you eat are also wanting to lose weight and just want a little advice.

    But usually I try not to discuss someone's weight loss unless they mention it themselves. People lose weight for a variety of reasons and I'd feel dumb if I told someone "you've lost weight, you look great" and it turns out they had just been very ill, stressed out, or something like that. Awkward.