Do you ever wonder, why bother?
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I see my aging relatives and friends, with their little plastic pill boxes full of pills to take throughout the day. With their walkers, glucose meters, canes, several Dr. visits a month, oxygen, wheelchairs, shots...
This is so true. I love my dad, but man, he really let himself go, starting in his 30's. He was blessed with an incredible body but abused it. He used to play baseball with and sometimes against Mickey Mantle in the minor leagues. But to be honest, he just wanted to sit in his chair and watch tv. Now he can hardly get around. Like I said, I love my pop but abused his body so much to the point there's so many things he can no longer do and hasn't been able to do for years.0 -
Nope, it won't make you happier. But there are are a lot of positives though... I have much more energy and endurance. I don't lose my breath when I bend over. My reflux is mostly gone, same with my random stomach pains. My skin is clearer. I don't have to worry about getting a heart attack or heart disease anytime soon, or have to take cholesterol medication.
It's NOT torture though. Honestly it's what I thought too before I found this site. But I realized that I don't have to go hungry... I can still eat things I love... I have no guilt because I can still eat the things I love, and if I go over once in a while... not a big deal. If guilt is something you're worried about though, surely you're not totally ok with being 40 lbs overweight? Don't you feel bad about it too? Don't you feel bad when you go to the doctor? Seriously I didn't go for 2 years because I didn't want them to tell me that I was too fat... that's not exactly a great situation to be in either.
The biggest revelation for me is that I used to day dream about being thinner. Then one day I caught myself doing that and realized that it's not a dream anymore. No, I'll never have my dream body because I have a lot of loose skin (and if I had done this when I was only 40 lbs overweight I could have avoided it), but it's still so much better... and now I can actually wear cute clothes (I'm still a cheapskate and have only bought comfortable things so far, but yeah. I guess I could buy nicer ones).0 -
I walked away from my desk and came back to all these responses! Thank you!!
I'm not really a "newbie" at weight loss and exercise. I've lost weight before and then regained it all. That really put a damper on me, the fact that I did that to myself after all my hard work and dedication. Almost four years ago and I'm still hard on myself.
Another thing is that I lost someone very close to me. It got me to start thinking about what is life really about.
I am seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist and I have been on Wellbutrin and Prozac for a number of months now. Not really sure if it's doing any good. I hate taking meds.
I do understand wanting to be healthy as I get older. I see many elderly people that are so energetic, I want to be that way at that age!
Now to start. I need to start with positive thoughts first. I have to work on getting that negativity out of my mind0 -
Congratulations and I think you'll do fine. Couldn't find a LIKE button, but if there was once, I would have hit it several times.0
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All of the "torture" and "guilt" just doesn't happen for me, I guess. I go at my own pace, and as long as I'm losing, no matter how slowly, I count it as progress towards my goal. I think I will be happier when I get to where I want to be, and that's not to say that I'm unhappy now but there are things I focus on about my body at this weight that I'm looking forward to not noticing anymore.0
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As far as weight loss, there is a balance point. If you're healthy, then that's all you need. But, if you have high blood pressure and other problems, you might have to think about if you'd rather be making trips to the doctor and pharmacy and the expense that carries with it into old age, or if you'd rather spend that time caring for your health and spending your money and time on caring for yourself in that way. It's a trade off.
Just find the good in it.
We all die. That's non-negotiable to the point where it's not even important. It's how you live that matters.
I don't have any medical problems, just mental one's right now ;-]
I do notice that my knees hurt more and it's no fun carrying this belly around. I read all the wonderful success stories and I just feel so happy for these people. I feel motivated and inspired and then it vanishes.0 -
What I've been thinking about is how much we beat ourselves up in during the weight loss process. Until we get to the understanding that with food there is not a right or wrong, not a good or bad, not should or shouldn't, we will continue to encourage our negative self-talk. It is time to recognize that we are human. Our energy is much better spent accepting ourselves and doing some analysis about the actual circumstances in which we find ourselves. Instead of telling ourselves:
"I totally screwed up. I ate the whole carton of ice cream (or the whole bag of chips, or the entire chocolate cake, or the extra serving of dinner...). I might as well just give up and realize that I'm always going to be fat. I've been so bad, and have eaten so much, I might as well forget this whole diet thing. I'm weak, and I suck."
Really? Do you believe you deserve to be berated like that for over eating? Would you say the same to someone else if they behaved the same way you just did? Not likely. Instead of looking at it as being bad, or doing wrong, we need to look at our actions and say, wow. That is not what I meant to do. Now that it has happened let me think about a few things.
1) why did I do that? Are you eating because you're bored? Are you an emotional eater? Are you punishing yourself for something else?
2) what made my actions possible? Is there too much junk food in the house? Are there no better choices available? Are you dipping into the kid's snacks?
3) how can I create a different outcome in the future? Can I agree that I won't take food out of my child's mouth anymore? Can I choose different foods the next time I go grocery shopping? Can I decide not to eat unless I'm sitting at the kitchen or dining room table?
4) what can I do differently if the circumstances repeat themselves? Was my behavior the only possible reaction to the situation? What other options did I have? Did I think about stopping but couldn’t find the strength?
You don't suck. You didn't ruin the rest of your life. Sure you didn't make the best choice, but how many people do you know who always makes the best choices? If you're honest with yourself and spend some time thinking about why you made poor choices, you may discover that you learn something deeper about yourself and your relationship with food. You might discover that you have to work a bit harder or focus a bit more to move forward with improving your food selections. You might even find out that you do have better motivations for losing weight than you knew. Introspection is a powerful tool.
Good luck in your journey.0 -
All of the "torture" and "guilt" just doesn't happen for me, I guess. I go at my own pace, and as long as I'm losing, no matter how slowly, I count it as progress towards my goal. I think I will be happier when I get to where I want to be, and that's not to say that I'm unhappy now but there are things I focus on about my body at this weight that I'm looking forward to not noticing anymore.
When I lost some weight a few years ago, I didn't look at it as torture. Exercising was great. I was running 5k's, I hired a personal trainer... God only knows what happened after that.0 -
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Motivation is not the reason. Motivation is stupid and fake. It doesn't really exist, it's a ghost.
What is real is habit. Habit breeds excellence. The fit people are not motivated, but rather they have made exercise and diet their habit. It is practice, patience, and habit. Motivation has nothing to do with it.
Don't you need motivation for it to become a habit?0 -
Is it worth all the torture we put ourselves through? All the ups and downs of dieting, the guilt when we over eat, feeling hungry....
I am not torturing myself this time. I am not doing ups and downs or guilt or hungry.
I am relearning what a 'normal' day of eating looks like, eating at a reasonable deficit with more healthy choices along with my personal favorites including pizza and ice cream. I am realizing that, if I eat well most of the time, I can still indulge in my steak and shrimp with baked potato and butter without getting fat (Losing weight, in fact).
I'm finding a comfortable place where I can eat the foods I enjoy without guilt or being fat.
This. Exactly. I'm learning that a piece of pizza is as satisfying as half the pizza. I'm learning that exercise is better for me than any antidepressant. I'm learning how to fit chocolate and other delicious things into a reasonable eating plan.
I'm bothering because I want to be healthy for myself and my family. So I can avoid a heart attack or sudden unexplained death, both of which run in my family. So I can deal with autoimmune disorders, also genetic. It's worth it.0 -
I completely understand! I've been having this same conversation with people. I'm probably going to get pregnant in the next year and i'm scared to death. I haven't had kids yet, and i'm scared that I'll gain 1000lbs and have to try to start this crap all over again.
And then, there's the low success rates. Seems like just about everyone puts the weight back on. It's really discouraging. Luckily, i've never been "overweight", but I was unhappy with my body to the point where I felt like I needed to make a change. The weight doesn't come off as easy for smaller women and seems to take FOREVER. I sometimes wonder wtf i'm doing this if i'm just going to gain it back anyway.
But I keep going because it's not like I have anything else better to do lol. And there's always a CHANCE I'll keep it off and stay healthy. That chance is what keeps me moving, I guess.
I'm sorry you lost someone. My heart goes out to you:flowerforyou: I hope things get better0 -
You have to love yourself how you are or even after losing weight, getting that hairstyle, getting a new wardrobe, or getting that job or whatever... You'll be unhappy if you're unhappy, no matter what size. The point is doing it for you, because you deserve it and want it. Otherwise, what IS the point0
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I completely understand! I've been having this same conversation with people. I'm probably going to get pregnant in the next year and i'm scared to death. I haven't had kids yet, and i'm scared that I'll gain 1000lbs and have to try to start this crap all over again.
And then, there's the low success rates. Seems like just about everyone puts the weight back on. It's really discouraging. Luckily, i've never been "overweight", but I was unhappy with my body to the point where I felt like I needed to make a change. The weight doesn't come off as easy for smaller women and seems to take FOREVER. I sometimes wonder wtf i'm doing this if i'm just going to gain it back anyway.
But I keep going because it's not like I have anything else better to do lol. And there's always a CHANCE I'll keep it off and stay healthy. That chance is what keeps me moving, I guess.
I'm sorry you lost someone. My heart goes out to you:flowerforyou: I hope things get better
When it comes to pregnancy, just don't fall for the typical "eating for 2" line of thought and give in to every craving. Keep on track eating for yourself, and you'll be fine.0 -
For me getting healthy and losing weight will allow me to do the things I already do much easier. I want to perform better on my bike, backpack, and not get told "wow you are in prety good shape for being a bigger guy". You just have to find that "thing" that drives you. Always remember, What do you have to lose? 5 months are going to come no matter what, I am sure most people would love to be healthier when that 5 months come.0
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Motivation is not the reason. Motivation is stupid and fake. It doesn't really exist, it's a ghost.
What is real is habit. Habit breeds excellence. The fit people are not motivated, but rather they have made exercise and diet their habit. It is practice, patience, and habit. Motivation has nothing to do with it.
Don't you need motivation for it to become a habit?
I think you need decision to make it become a habit. You decide you are going to do it, no matter what. If we rely on external motivation, then we fail. This goes along with my #1 motivational phrase: Nobody can do it for me.0 -
Never stop trying, I definitely feel better already just by losing 20 lbs. With my new healthier diet I have lowered my cholesterol from 189 to 159 in 4 weeks. I still have a long way to go, 70 lbs. until my goal. But things can only improve further. Good luck.0
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I completely understand! I've been having this same conversation with people. I'm probably going to get pregnant in the next year and i'm scared to death. I haven't had kids yet, and i'm scared that I'll gain 1000lbs and have to try to start this crap all over again.
I gained 60 lbs with my first pregnancy and 50 with my second, my starting weight at the time was 120. I was so stupid. I got back down to 125 but that was 20 something years ago.
Don't let pregnancy scare you into gaining. I ate all the wrong things and was constantly eating. I don't know why. You don't have to let that happen.0 -
For me, a part of it is to look better, but the bigger part is to be healthy. My mother's parents died of heart disease very young, 36 and 45. My father has diabetes. I donated a kidney to my husband 2 years ago this May. I need to take care of myself and stay healthy for me and my family so I can be around for them.0
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Hey everyone. I'm new here, well, kinda.
I created an account today and I picked a positive name and an inspirational photo but in reality I always wonder why I bother worrying about losing the weight. So lets say I drop my 40lbs, now what? Will I be happier? Will I really feel that much better? Will I think I look better? When I was younger and weighed 120, I thought I was fat back then!
Is it worth all the torture we put ourselves through? All the ups and downs of dieting, the guilt when we over eat, feeling hungry.... sorry to be so negative but I really think about these things.
I would love to hear your responses, hopefully positive ones as I have been in such a slump for almost a year now. I wasn't always like this. Fitness was my life and very important to me at one time.
I've been thinking of this also, recently. I think, for me, I need to shift my focus to being healthier, not thinner. Easier said than done, though.0 -
It's worth it. I've been big, and I've been small... and even small I thought I could be smaller... BUT, my brain and body are so much healthier when I'm at a healthy weight and in shape. I enjoy feeling strong, and it's nice to be able to feel comfortable in my body (even if it's mostly in work or work-out clothes!). My attitude is better after I work out and it clears my head.
Now, what's NOT worth it is losing and gaining in cycles... which I've done a good decade of my life. That's why it really needs to be a life change and maintainable. Maintaining is actually harder in some ways than losing, b/c you forget how it feels to be heavy... I had to remind myself recently how far I'd come so I could keep going (check out my profile pictures if you'd like).
It's worth it to be healthier and happier... and lighter helps a bit too!0 -
In the last thirty years I have been a couch potato carrying sixty extra pounds, seven percent body fat uber-fit and everywhere in-between. When I was miserable, being able to leg press 800lbs didn't make me happy and when I was okay with who I was, rebuilding after a setback didn't bum me out. These days - when I am once again starting over - I just count myself lucky to have the choice to take care of myself.I created an account today and I picked a positive name and an inspirational photo but in reality I always wonder why I bother worrying about losing the weight. So lets say I drop my 40lbs, now what? Will I be happier? Will I really feel that much better? Will I think I look better? When I was younger and weighed 120, I thought I was fat back then!
Is it worth all the torture we put ourselves through? All the ups and downs of dieting, the guilt when we over eat, feeling hungry.... sorry to be so negative but I really think about these things.
I would love to hear your responses, hopefully positive ones as I have been in such a slump for almost a year now. I wasn't always like this. Fitness was my life and very important to me at one time.
So I don't experience taking care of myself as torture even when I am not making the kind of progress that I'd like, or I realize (duh!) I will never again look like the ripped thirty-year-old that I was. If getting fit becomes a form of torture, why bother? Life is too short!
If you are asking for advice, here's mine: reflect on why you do what you do. If losing weight is about pleasing someone else, meeting some photoshop'd idea of perfection, or fixing yourself in some way because you think you are broken, work on your motivation before you step into a gym or log a meal. You'll get a lot more out of it and will have something to fall back on in the tough moments.0 -
I know where you are coming from but I feel it will be worth it...I have three young children who depend on me to play with them, keep them busy and entertained...so I better be in best health and the best shape is just a bonus that comes with it
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Also I bother because...
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The motivation to create change in your life is different for everyone. Me? I do it because, of course, I want to look and feel better, but I have watched my family go through so many health issues. Eating well and exercising is one way I can be sure that this is a legacy I do not pass on to future generations. I have listened to my mom talk about eating better and exercising for years, but she has never manged to follow through on that. She is now battling a variety of health problems, many related to her obesity. My dad was diagnosed with diabetes when he was around my age. It hurts me to see that their health is not important to them. The truth is, I know that they are miserable, my mom especially, but they lack the motivation to make the changes required.
I don't really have much support in this journey. To my family, health is not really a big deal until the medical bills start piling up. I do this for myself. I do this because I know it is my right to be the best person that I can be. I do this so that my future children will not have to watch me go through the various medical emergencies I have had to witness with my parents. In the end, everyone has to find that one thing that motivates them to get started and to keep with it. From there, the change becomes habit, and I don't think there are many people who look back on that decision to change and regret it.0 -
I completely understand! I've been having this same conversation with people. I'm probably going to get pregnant in the next year and i'm scared to death. I haven't had kids yet, and i'm scared that I'll gain 1000lbs and have to try to start this crap all over again.
And then, there's the low success rates. Seems like just about everyone puts the weight back on. It's really discouraging. Luckily, i've never been "overweight", but I was unhappy with my body to the point where I felt like I needed to make a change. The weight doesn't come off as easy for smaller women and seems to take FOREVER. I sometimes wonder wtf i'm doing this if i'm just going to gain it back anyway.
But I keep going because it's not like I have anything else better to do lol. And there's always a CHANCE I'll keep it off and stay healthy. That chance is what keeps me moving, I guess.
I'm sorry you lost someone. My heart goes out to you:flowerforyou: I hope things get better
When it comes to pregnancy, just don't fall for the typical "eating for 2" line of thought and give in to every craving. Keep on track eating for yourself, and you'll be fine.
Yea, that's good advice and I hope I can stick to it. It's just SO scary that it almost makes me not want to have kids. I mean, I want them, but I don't want them killing my body either. I see so many women that go through the struggle and put on massive amounts of weight after having babies, and then I see those women who look exactly the same, or better, and it gives me hope. I just don't want to be naive about the whole thing and then end up blaming weight gain on the fracking babies lol!
Then I get scard that i'll be so obsessed about it that I won't eat enough and end up with an underweight baby. UGH. horrendous thoughts, I tell ya.
OP, that is amazing that you managed to at least get back down to your original weight At least you know you CAN do it. Maybe you can slowly work your way back into it? Find something fun to do, maybe become more social with people who have the same goals! You might even find people on here near you that are in the same situation! I'm not endorsing meeting strangers online lmfao but just in case, you never know, i've met some great people on here that I would totally hang out with if we were closer.
It does get better. It sounds like though, that with your depression, you're having a hard time figuring things out, and that's what depression does. I hope you can get some relief soon from it and are able to enjoy your life FULLY again. It's not going to be perfect. But it can also be better. :drinker:0 -
I have no valuable input apart from; it's been great listening to everyone's stories/advice/personal experience.
Personally, I'd say it is worth it. At times it can definitely feel like 'what is the point?' and like far too much effort to make the healthy food choices or to exercise, but the sense of disappointment in myself when I make the wrong choices makes me feel worse, so I might as well try and make the right choices and benefit from them.
Will I be happier at a lower weight and a healthier body? Maybe, maybe not. But I know being how I was before sure wasn't making me happy, so there's no harm in trying and seeing what the outcome is.
Good luck!0 -
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