Parents who have lost a child.

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  • melindareese
    melindareese Posts: 6 Member
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart and prayers go out to you. I lost my 25 year old son a year and a half ago. I think about him every day and try to remember all the good times we had. I feel his spirit is with me so I talk to him all the time. I also think about my younger son and that keeps me going, just like your son who needs you so much. I will tell you that first year is a fog. I got counceling from my church and read a book titled Thoughts for the grieving Christian. I have read it more than once as time does let you see things differently. Just try to put one foot in front of the other and stay close to those you love.
  • Sovi_
    Sovi_ Posts: 575 Member
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    Omg omg.....my heart is with you.
  • ARDuBaie
    ARDuBaie Posts: 379 Member
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    So sorry for your loss. I have been there as I lost my second child to seizures brought on by the MMR vaccination. You will always feel the loss, but it becomes less painful over time. I recommend joining a support group for grieving parents. I found it extremely helpful during the first year after Adam's death.
  • candlechick27
    candlechick27 Posts: 14 Member
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    I lost my 16 year old son two and a half years ago from a drunk driver. The loss doesn't ever go away, but always be sure to talk about her often. We don't ever exclude him like he was never here. He was such a huge influence in everyone's life. Be sure to get counselling, as well as your other child if needed. Feel free to friend me if you would like, I am here for support!!
  • Trechechus
    Trechechus Posts: 2,819 Member
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    I have no words. I hope you find healing and peace. :heart:
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
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    Hi everyone. 3 days ago, I lost my 16 month old baby girl. It was all so sudden as she suffered from what we thought was Asthma for only 2 weeks. She was having a hard time breathing so I took her too the doctor. They gave her breathing treatments and she did good on that for about a week. She started wheezing again and the albuterol treatments weren't helping her as much. I took her back to the doctor as she was coughing all night and was having a really hard time breathing. The doc gave her a higher dosage of albuterol and a steroid. We thought she had IGE allergies like my hubby. She did great over this past weekend and I thought she was fine. We actually started thinking she just had bad allergies like her daddy and took her off of milk products. She was better so I thought she was okay now. On Monday she was crying all day and wheezing bad. I kept giving her breathing treatments but they weren;t helping at ALL. My baby girl was trying so hard to breathe. She had a gray look over her, but I thought she was having the same issues as before. My hubby came home and saw her, and ran out to get our humidifier. 20 minutes later, he got back with it, hooked it up. We were in the room with her as he leaned down to give her a kiss, and shouted "JULIE!!" She had stopped breathing. :brokenheart: :sad: I grabbed her, and did CPR on her all the way to the hospital,( I had training)which seemed like a 3 hour drive. It was only about 4 minutes at 110 MPH. I tried to resuscitate my little angel. I ran into the ER and handed them her lifeless body. I watched them try and get her back for about 5 minutes as my husband and I held each other and our son. Finally, the doctor came and told us the thing that no parent ever wants to hear. "There is nothing we could do. She was already gone." My baby girl, is gone. Just.....GONE. How can my baby girl just be gone like this. I guess I am asking any parents who ever have lost their baby, does it get any easier.?? The pain is so heavy in my heart and I don't understand any piece of this. We got the autopsy results back, and everything pointed to a lung infection like pneumonia or bronchitis. I DO NOT understand how this happened. When we were at the doctor those 2 times, they did 2 X-rays and the first one, looked like she had a patch of bronchitis, but the second looked clear. She was on a 5 day course of antibiotics. The hardest part of all of this is it could have been prevented if the doctors would have caught it. Instead, I am without one of my angels. I am asking for all of your prayers for me and my family. I do not know how to hold myself together for my son and husband. This is the hardest thing ever and my heart is broken into pieces. Hold your little ones tight, as every day is not promised. :brokenheart: :sad:
    Thank you all for reading and God bless.

    I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine. No parent should have to bury their child. While I personally haven't lost a child, my parents have and I saw what they went through and still do go through. My brother was brutally killed 7 years ago. He would've been turning 29 on the 25th of this month. You ask if it gets easier…. honestly, no. It never gets easier. You just learn to cope with the pain and sorrow. Acceptance of death is the hardest part, but when you accept that they are no longer here, you do find peace. You and your family are in my thoughts in prayers. I hope you have found some peace. I hope you know that your little girl is in heaven and watching over you every day.
  • krazyforyou
    krazyforyou Posts: 1,428 Member
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    I'll pray for you and your husband. Just remember that God loves you.
  • uconnwinsnc
    uconnwinsnc Posts: 1,054 Member
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    I am only a young man who has never had a child. My understanding of what a mother's love for her child is next to nothing, but I can offer a few works of empathy and philosophy. You lost your child. You experienced something that no mother ever wants to experience, and no mother ever should experience. I hope, at this point, a few months after you have come to some sort of peace. Nobody will ever expect you to move on completely, and you shouldn't have to. Every day for the rest of your life your baby is going to be on your mind, and you might cry. You might fall to your knees and just flat out cry. And that is completely OK. But there is something I want you to know...

    When I look at my mother I see the most amazing person in the world. I see someone who would sacrifice the world to protect me. I see someone who would, without hesitation, throw herself into danger to protect me. I am 22 years old, about to turn 23. I don't need her protection anymore, but I will always need her love and support. I might think myself capable of living completely independent, but there is a part of me that knows I will always got to her in times of struggle. And this is where your other child comes in. You have a little boy who will look at you and say to himself, "Wow, I am the luckiest person in the world." He will cling to you, he will cry to you, he will yell at you, he will laugh with you, he will smile with you, and he will get mad at you. He will express every single emotion in the spectrum of human emotions. But when the day ends, when he looks up at you, he will see the most amazing person on the face of the planet who is capable of conquering the world to protect him. Your job now, and for the rest of your life, is to love him. You need to be strong for him, whatever comes your or his way.

    In the end,love your lost baby girl. Love her with all of your heart. She is your child and will ALWAYS be your child.
  • Ophidion
    Ophidion Posts: 2,065 Member
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    This a pain and loss I would never wish on anyone.

    OP my heart goes out to you,no parent should ever have to bury their child.
  • rondaj05
    rondaj05 Posts: 497 Member
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    I have no words ... I can't imagine. Lots of love, hugs and prayers for you and your family.
  • BamaBreezeNSaltAire
    BamaBreezeNSaltAire Posts: 966 Member
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    Sweet love, go to Facebook and find the page Remembering Anne Reese. There you will find the most inspirational mother who lost her little 3 year old on Christmas Eve 2012 to a tragic swingset collapsing on her. Our hearts and prayers are with you and your family that you find the comfort you need. Through Amy, we have all found more faith in life. Through the loss of Anne Reese, we found our faith in God again.

    https://www.facebook.com/RememberingAnnReese
  • jenns1964
    jenns1964 Posts: 384 Member
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    I am so so sorry for your loss. I lost a much wanted and loved baby girl on February 28, 2000. She had to be delivered via c-section at 24 weeks to save my life, but she was just too small to survive. Some days will be better than others. It will be a struggle and you will get through it. There will come days that you think of her and smile and days you will cry.
  • glowgirl14
    glowgirl14 Posts: 200 Member
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    I have never lost a child...but my youngest (also named Riley) was a near miss. We were in and out of hospitals with him for six months. He wasn't gaining weight...so frail...so tiny...he lived, but I cried over that baby every day - praying for him to be strong, and to get through this. I was terrified that I would lose him. My heart goes out to you - the suddenness is terrible.

    I lost my mom to cancer when I was sixteen, and as someone else said - that was nothing compared to the crippling fear of losing my baby. The biggest things I can say - for grief in general - others have said also...remember your little boy. He's got to be so confused right now, and scared...and keep your husband close...turn to each other instead of shutting each other out. He comes the closest to understanding what you feel right now. Forgive yourselves...there was nothing you could have done differently. We have to trust in doctors because they have had the training we don't. They did the best they could...so did you.

    As people move on with their lives, or try to say helpful things - that aren't helpful at all...speak up. Most of them really want to help you - to do the right thing, but if they've not been in your shoes, they don't know. Some won't say anything because they don't know what to say...some will say the wrong things. All would be happy if you told them what you need. Speak up...

    Grief is weird - the intensity goes away after a while, but then it can hit you out of nowhere ten or twenty years later. The pain fresh and raw like it just happened yesterday. With my mom, I have learned to appreciate this grief when it resurfaces...it keeps her alive to me. Every time the pain hits me, I remember what an amazing mother I had, and how much I love her still.

    I won't say be strong - I'll say be whatever you need to be...just put one foot in front of the other, lean on those you can and in time, it will get a bit easier to get up and move through your days.
  • kshadows
    kshadows Posts: 1,315 Member
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    I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I lost a baby at 16 weeks pregnant but that can't possibly compare to losing a child the way you did. In my case I can only say, you can get through it, but you'll never get over it. I am so very sorry. Please reach out for support and speak with a counselor or therapist. HUGS. My heart goes out to your family.
  • BattleTaxi
    BattleTaxi Posts: 752 Member
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    "Sorry for your loss" and "my condolences" just don't seem to fit. I have not been through this kind of experience with family, so I truly cannot even fathom what you are going through. I can honestly say my heart aches for you and I wish there were something I could do to help. I have known others that have lost a child. One did not allow for anyone to try and help, they rejected and pushed family/friends away for decades and only more recently has attempted to begin healing and moving past it. It is hard to be on the outside of this and feel incapable of helping.

    I can't provide advice and I'm not sure if comforting words will even help. All I can say is allow yourself to embrace the present and move past it at some point. Don't let any tragedy ruin your life and your family. You family and friends (and some of us strangers on here!) love you and will do anything they can to support you; allow them to do this!

    <3
  • Healthy_4_Life2
    Healthy_4_Life2 Posts: 595 Member
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    There is no such words that I can even say to ease your pain. I am so sorry and saddened for the loss of your little angel. No parents should have to go through such a loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. My condolences. (((Hugs)))
  • haroon_awan
    haroon_awan Posts: 1,208 Member
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    Holy ssss. I'm so sorry. <3

    Have you seen the film Rabbit Hole?
  • tlcarolinagirl
    tlcarolinagirl Posts: 1,700 Member
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    Oh my goodness. I just read through this entire thread and I am literally sitting at my desk crying my eyes out. My heart is truly aching for all of you that have lost a child. I know what my first miscarriage did to me, so I can't even imagine giving birth and then losing him/her. My 10 year old is my world and I just can't. ....wow. Saying I'm sorry doesn't seem like enough. I am sending virtual hugs and strength to every single one of you. Much, much love! ♡
  • JoelleAnn78
    JoelleAnn78 Posts: 1,492 Member
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    My 19 month old son is my world. I cannot imagine the pain and emptiness losing a child leaves in your heart. To everyone in this thread - my heart goes out to you. I believe in God and Heaven, and I know your children play and laugh without pain and illness or injury in Heaven. I'm so very sorry for your loss.
  • MagicalLeopleurodon
    MagicalLeopleurodon Posts: 623 Member
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    I am so sorry. There are no words for the grief you feel and words of comfort are trivial at best. Hug your family tight and let them be a support system to you. I sincerely hope for you to have the strength to overcome such a tragedy. Your family will be in my thoughts.

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