Cried for 30 minutes

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  • FP4HSharon
    FP4HSharon Posts: 664 Member
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    You said this person "matters a lot to you"....he shouldn't anymore. Anyone who could not only THINK that, but take the time to TYPE it, and hit the send button....this is definitely NOT a person that should "matter" AT ALL to you. That's just outright cruelty, there's no way ANYONE could be that ignorant to think you would take it as anything other than the insult/hurtful comment it was meant to be. And if he tries to contact you later to tell you he was just joking, or whatever excuse he tries, I wouldn't respond. He's probably also bragging to his friends about how funny he is.
  • WhiteRabbit1313
    WhiteRabbit1313 Posts: 1,091 Member
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    A lot of people say / write things before thinking about it.

    I would have replied back with a few f-bombs.

    ^^Same here.

    What a d-bag! There is NO REASON to say such a thing to a friend. Your "friend" obviously has issues of their own that they might do well to deal with before speaking to you, again.
  • DirrtyH
    DirrtyH Posts: 664 Member
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    I hope you called him out on it.
  • Yomamma45885
    Yomamma45885 Posts: 5
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    What a jerk. Don't dignify his remark with an answer. If it's too awkward to unfriend him, I'd just ignore him.
    You need to surround yourself with people who lift you up. It looks like you are doing well on your weight loss
    anyway!
  • pammerz88
    pammerz88 Posts: 58 Member
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    well that would be the last contact with that so called friend. what an awful comment.

    I agree!!! Doesn't sound like a very good friend to me!
  • paxbfl
    paxbfl Posts: 391 Member
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    Don't let it discourage you. Let it become part of your motivation and drive to make him eat his words!

    ^^^THIS!

    A comment like that would have fueled my workouts for several months. It's one thing to say F*#% YOU, it's another to demonstrate it by your actions.

    I lost 40 pounds in 4 months when I was at my heaviest. You can do it too - and totally look awesome by May.
  • SapiensPisces
    SapiensPisces Posts: 992 Member
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    Those comments make the person making them much worse than you. Don't let it get to you. She's been out of your life for a long time, and perhaps it should be permanent now that you know her true character. Surround yourself with good people.
  • AmyZ46
    AmyZ46 Posts: 694 Member
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    I 'm sorry that your feeling got hurt -

    I have a few friends that would say that to me . They are jokesters but at the same time would want to wake me up to reality ... I had a freind tell me point blank that I was going to be a blimp again if I kept eating like I was eating ... this was 12 years ago and I had lost 45 lbs -- she was right I gained that 45 lbs + 55 more . She was blunt ( I didn't listen) and she still is a really good friend of mine that I can trust not to let me go out with cloths that are not flattering on me .
    I think of that statement all the time ,It actually motivates me I will not be a blimp again !

    I hope the stupid remark came from a good place and only you know this friend well enough to interpret that . Good luck !
  • Cinnamonstickbella
    Cinnamonstickbella Posts: 7 Member
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    I usually do not post but this is worth a comment. I agree people do not always know that what they say can be hurtful. And some comments more than others.

    With that said, I understand your feelings getting hurt bc it too would crush me!

    Put the focus back where it belongs! On your success and who you are as a strong woman!

    Sometimes statements can also be motivating....I know when I hear a comment like that---private tears--then *sometimes* gives me the old "I will show you" attitued.

    Hurtful tho....
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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    friend shaming/body shaming is never okay. That being said, communicate. Let him know how much he hurt you with his offhand comment, perhaps he honesty didn't think about it before he said it. I have a couple of friends who have a tendency to word vomit sometimes, and I have no problems letting them know if they've crossed a line. If they can't accept that their behavior is not okay with me, I unfriend them. But at least communicate first; at the very least, it will perhaps be a learning experience for him to think before he types.
  • deviant_illusion
    deviant_illusion Posts: 32 Member
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    I have good friends that tease me about my weight all the time. While it doesn't bother me because they are friends but I can see how it would hurt. On the flip side I often tease my friends when we do things like ride dirtbikes and 50 miles in they are beat and ready to call it a day I just laugh and say something like come on boys don't let this fat guy show you how to keep pushing.
  • chunkybun
    chunkybun Posts: 179 Member
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    What a coward and a bully. No way he would say that to your face. I'm really sorry he was able to upset you like that.

    He probably made that comment thinking he was funny, but don't let him know he's hurt you. I have found the best way to deal with bullies like that is to kill them with kindness. (I know it's really hard because you just want to punch him in the face- rightfully so) To show you're the better person, I would just reply something like, "Yeah, a lot has changed since I saw you last. Best of luck to you." Then hit delete.
  • IAmKellOnWheels
    IAmKellOnWheels Posts: 47 Member
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    A friend would say, "Wow it looks like you had a great vacation! I'm so happy you got away to relax. You deserve it!". And would never, ever, ever shame you. Disguising a hurtful comment as a "joke" doesn't make it okay.

    Friends lift you up. PERIOD.
  • rhoule76
    rhoule76 Posts: 217 Member
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    Remove her from FB and untag yourself from the picture. That was definitely unnecessary on this "friend's" part.
  • PinkyFett
    PinkyFett Posts: 842 Member
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    well that would be the last contact with that so called friend. what an awful comment.

    hit the nail on the head there.
  • SaintGiff
    SaintGiff Posts: 3,679 Member
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    Went away on vacation and had a great time with some friends. Felt uneasy about pictures being tagged on facebook, but I'm pretty confident, despite my weight, because there's a lot more to me than how I look... so I was hopeful that all would be fine, felt like my friends would understand what I've been going through. Well, I come home and have a message from a friend of many years, who I haven't seen in a while, but who matters a lot to me. He said just this: "What happened to Corina? Did you eat her?!" And I cried for about 30 minutes. It hurt a lot.

    WTF. That's brutal. Want I should pay him a visit?
  • bradXdale
    bradXdale Posts: 399
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    Remember this...

    More often than not when people cut each other down it's because they have their own insecurities that they can't handle so they take it out on others.

    Also people like him you should NOT associate with. He sounds likes a cruel, careless, rude *kitten* who does not deserve your friendship.

    Feel better.
  • BeanQueen3000
    BeanQueen3000 Posts: 161
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    That's so harsh. What an awful thing to say. Only you could really know if he would say something like that in a joking way, but it's pretty clearly rude if you don't have that kind of sarcastic banter usually. I know I wouldn't feel bad about blocking this person out for a while.

    While my selfies are usually pretty candid, I really don't like having my photo taken by others when I can't control the angles and such and I understand how stressful that might be. It's good to hear that you had a good time on vacation and I hope it shows-- if so, you've probably got a nice set of "before" photos to work with now. Chin up and good luck to you!
  • phantomjam
    phantomjam Posts: 46 Member
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    I bet if you take the time to examine this friendship you would find that there was a pattern of negative behaviour. Trust me, when you see it you won't be able to "unsee" it but you'll be able to walk away with absolutely no regrets because you'll know that the person has already created his own personal hell. All this while, you were enjoying a good friendship but he was wasting his life on jealousy. The only reason "a friend" would tear another down is that they need to level the field because you have some thing or quality they can't seem to attain.

    Please realize that despite the hurt, you have lost nothing. In fact, you are now wiser to the world and will be more cautious about friends.
  • becs3578
    becs3578 Posts: 836 Member
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    What an @ss! People like that ARENT friends. REMOVE from facebook. I know the dreaded FB photo tagging first hand. Back at my heaviest I had to have total control over pics that were added. THen one year my sister in law posted VERY UNFLATTERING pictures of me at the beach. I UNTAGGED all of them and then cried for the rest of the night.

    You are on a journey. It will get better and easier.. but people who aren't supportive don't need to be part of the journey.

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