Cried for 30 minutes

24

Replies

  • deviant_illusion
    deviant_illusion Posts: 32 Member
    I have good friends that tease me about my weight all the time. While it doesn't bother me because they are friends but I can see how it would hurt. On the flip side I often tease my friends when we do things like ride dirtbikes and 50 miles in they are beat and ready to call it a day I just laugh and say something like come on boys don't let this fat guy show you how to keep pushing.
  • chunkybun
    chunkybun Posts: 179 Member
    What a coward and a bully. No way he would say that to your face. I'm really sorry he was able to upset you like that.

    He probably made that comment thinking he was funny, but don't let him know he's hurt you. I have found the best way to deal with bullies like that is to kill them with kindness. (I know it's really hard because you just want to punch him in the face- rightfully so) To show you're the better person, I would just reply something like, "Yeah, a lot has changed since I saw you last. Best of luck to you." Then hit delete.
  • IAmKellOnWheels
    IAmKellOnWheels Posts: 47 Member
    A friend would say, "Wow it looks like you had a great vacation! I'm so happy you got away to relax. You deserve it!". And would never, ever, ever shame you. Disguising a hurtful comment as a "joke" doesn't make it okay.

    Friends lift you up. PERIOD.
  • rhoule76
    rhoule76 Posts: 217 Member
    Remove her from FB and untag yourself from the picture. That was definitely unnecessary on this "friend's" part.
  • PinkyFett
    PinkyFett Posts: 842 Member
    well that would be the last contact with that so called friend. what an awful comment.

    hit the nail on the head there.
  • SaintGiff
    SaintGiff Posts: 3,679 Member
    Went away on vacation and had a great time with some friends. Felt uneasy about pictures being tagged on facebook, but I'm pretty confident, despite my weight, because there's a lot more to me than how I look... so I was hopeful that all would be fine, felt like my friends would understand what I've been going through. Well, I come home and have a message from a friend of many years, who I haven't seen in a while, but who matters a lot to me. He said just this: "What happened to Corina? Did you eat her?!" And I cried for about 30 minutes. It hurt a lot.

    WTF. That's brutal. Want I should pay him a visit?
  • Remember this...

    More often than not when people cut each other down it's because they have their own insecurities that they can't handle so they take it out on others.

    Also people like him you should NOT associate with. He sounds likes a cruel, careless, rude *kitten* who does not deserve your friendship.

    Feel better.
  • That's so harsh. What an awful thing to say. Only you could really know if he would say something like that in a joking way, but it's pretty clearly rude if you don't have that kind of sarcastic banter usually. I know I wouldn't feel bad about blocking this person out for a while.

    While my selfies are usually pretty candid, I really don't like having my photo taken by others when I can't control the angles and such and I understand how stressful that might be. It's good to hear that you had a good time on vacation and I hope it shows-- if so, you've probably got a nice set of "before" photos to work with now. Chin up and good luck to you!
  • phantomjam
    phantomjam Posts: 46 Member
    I bet if you take the time to examine this friendship you would find that there was a pattern of negative behaviour. Trust me, when you see it you won't be able to "unsee" it but you'll be able to walk away with absolutely no regrets because you'll know that the person has already created his own personal hell. All this while, you were enjoying a good friendship but he was wasting his life on jealousy. The only reason "a friend" would tear another down is that they need to level the field because you have some thing or quality they can't seem to attain.

    Please realize that despite the hurt, you have lost nothing. In fact, you are now wiser to the world and will be more cautious about friends.
  • becs3578
    becs3578 Posts: 836 Member
    What an @ss! People like that ARENT friends. REMOVE from facebook. I know the dreaded FB photo tagging first hand. Back at my heaviest I had to have total control over pics that were added. THen one year my sister in law posted VERY UNFLATTERING pictures of me at the beach. I UNTAGGED all of them and then cried for the rest of the night.

    You are on a journey. It will get better and easier.. but people who aren't supportive don't need to be part of the journey.
  • You have to ignore those people, they have deeper issues and it makes them feel good to put others down. Maybe you should reconsider caring about this person so much. Stay motivated and get your body how YOU want it to look for YOU.
  • Galatea_Stone
    Galatea_Stone Posts: 2,037 Member
    I have a really thick skin, but a comment like that would enrage me. Delete her, let it drop, and be the better person. If you're ever asked why, then tell the truth about what she said. It was cruel and meant to be cruel.
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
    I hope none of you ever said anything you didn't mean without thinking. Because you sure are all ready to just drop the hammer on someone without asking why something was said. Maybe OP should try asking him why he said it? And then tell him how much he hurt her feelings? Learning and growth can be had by all.
  • jshashaty
    jshashaty Posts: 33 Member
    I'm sorry that you went through that and I know how hurtful people can be without even realizing it. I tell my daughter that people who don't think first before speaking or even typing have very small minds. If you want to vent. message me. I'm here.
  • feelingbloated
    feelingbloated Posts: 1 Member
    That is a terrible thing to say to someone. People dont think before they speak sometimes...they think they are just being funny. One day at work, the heel broke off my shoe and just as it happened a co-worker walked in and said "Gee, how's that diet working for ya!". At the time I was so embarrassed that I didnt say anything. But a few days later when my co-worker realized I was less then pleased asked if I was ok....I had to find the courage to ask her why she would say something like that when I am struggling with my weight. She felt terrible and said she was just joking and she didnt mean anything by it. I accepted her apology but havent forgotten how hurt I was at the moment. I think you should say something to your friend...it may be hard, but you will feel better getting it off your chest. Then just keep moving forward.
  • phantomjam
    phantomjam Posts: 46 Member
    I hope none of you ever said anything you didn't mean without thinking. Because you sure are all ready to just drop the hammer on someone without asking why something was said. Maybe OP should try asking him why he said it? And then tell him how much he hurt her feelings? Learning and growth can be had by all.

    Sure, I have, however, I would have noticed if the friendship had been dropped, examined my actions, had some remorse and made an attempt to make amends. (This is all assuming that there is some possible way to justify such a nasty statement.) If the friend still wanted nothing to do with me, I'd recognize it was my own fault and respect her wishes.

    I wouldn't expect the injured party to expose herself to further possible ridicule.
  • myplacetohide
    myplacetohide Posts: 25 Member
    I had a nice picture for you, but it is SO darn complicated doing it on this web site that it's just impossible. But how about this...

    How you treat me is your karma
    How I react is mine.
  • scyian
    scyian Posts: 243 Member
    People like that usually have deep insecurities about themselves and it makes them feel better to make fun of others. You know the person better than we do, you will know what to do and say. My advice would be to surround yourself with people who make you happy. We all have to put up with idiots and those who makes us feel bad in life, but we don't have to hang out with them.
  • whollybologna
    whollybologna Posts: 87 Member
    words can really hurt. I know you're likely friends with that person and they were probably trying to encourage you, but it was very cruel in how they did it. They probably didn't realize they hurt you. Talk to them. If they're open and apologetic, then forget about it and focus on your weight and being the amazing confident woman you are. If they say something like, 'Can't you take a joke?' then cut ties. You don't need that kind of negativity on your journey.

    remember: Jerks exist. but in a few months you are going to be slimmer and sexier than ever and they are still going to be jerks. Keep going!!
  • fhfreedom
    fhfreedom Posts: 35 Member
    Hey, you faced the hurt and cried it out... now use it in the gym. That's what I do :) Turn it into motivation that will encourage you to keep going. He might be the one saying nice things to you later on and you can smile and say to yourself, "I win".
  • ReinasWrath
    ReinasWrath Posts: 1,173 Member
    What a douche!!!! I don't see any reason for keeping someone like that in your life. That sounds a little too harsh to be a "joke" especially after going a while without contact and that is the first thing they say?!
  • doodlebeats
    doodlebeats Posts: 11 Member
    What an absolutely horrific comment. I wouldn't say that to a stranger, let alone a friend. Sometimes we have to reevaluate the relationships in our life in order to achieve the goals we've set for ourselves. I am sorry your friend was so hurtful. Remember, you are a work in progress!
  • jatten
    jatten Posts: 6 Member
    If he meant a lot to you, I'd let him know that he hurt you before you say goodbye.

    And don't forget, the most impressive people at the gym are the ones working the hardest, not the ones who look the best.
  • MKEgal
    MKEgal Posts: 3,250 Member
    What a mean thing to say! :angry: :sad:

    It seems he doesn't value your friendship as much as you do his. But I agree that if you want to try to keep him as a friend you have to tell him how hurtful his comment was. Let his response decide whether you continue to stay in touch, or let this be the end of it.
  • tinamariecleg
    tinamariecleg Posts: 99 Member
    That was plain mean of him. That is not being a good friend
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  • bobbijodmb
    bobbijodmb Posts: 463 Member
    That is awful, but honestly doesn't sound like a good friend. One thing I have learned is to surround myself with supportive people because its the only way for me to be successful.

    I remember being there and there is hope. Change can happen. Feel free to add me if you need support =)
  • kbmnurse
    kbmnurse Posts: 2,484 Member
    WOW! That person would no longer be considered a friend in my book. Mean spirited.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    What a *kitten* you have for a friend!!!

    Think I would cut ties and move forward.
  • That is not something a friend says, it is something an enemy would say.