Negative people AFTER your success??

Jessicalg1981
Jessicalg1981 Posts: 51 Member
in Motivation and Support
Has anyone had negative encounters with people AFTER you were successful losing weight? Don't get me wrong, I'm THRILLED with my results and I'm SO much happier and healthier now. I just really wasn't expecting as much negativity from this. A lot of people have flat out avoided mentioning my transformation (which is crazy because I lost nearly 100 lbs and went from a size 20 to a size 6 so it's not like it was a subtle transformation) and then the other day while I was having a conversation with someone about weight loss I was accused of being a bully because I made the comment that in a lot of cases (not all) being overweight is a result of choices people make (be it food choices or general life choices).
«1

Replies

  • annie61702
    annie61702 Posts: 120 Member
    Yes, I think it comes from jealousy. It's a reminder of how they have not changed. I have experienced this, also. Wow, what a great job! That's a huge lifestyle change. Well done!
  • mactaffy84
    mactaffy84 Posts: 398 Member
    Congratulations on your success! Awesome job! Don't let anyone get you down. Jealousy causes strange behavior at times. And given that many people are insensitive and downright stupid, cut them some slack. You are better than that!
  • Brina4777
    Brina4777 Posts: 40 Member
    Maybe they are just plain jealous.I think your weight loss is inspiring and helpful to others. Losing weight is very hard in today's society and I agree that it has a lot to do with the choices people make. You don't have to eat those fries or drink that milkshake. People tend to have addictive personalities and it can be very hard to change those choices. I wouldn't worry about the negativity, you have accomplished something amazing.
  • Jessicalg1981
    Jessicalg1981 Posts: 51 Member
    :blushing: Thanks guys!
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,519 Member
    I got this a LOT. Sometimes I still get bs like, "you can stay in shape, b/c you don't have a job." I am a stay-at-home mom with a 3 & 5 year old...so I do plenty of physical work. I've also got the "bullying" comments, if I refused food...if I made any remotely "negative" comments about food...the list goes on.

    Oh well, I feel good about myself, so I don't let the idiotic comments bother me anymore. I chalk it up to insecurity or jealousy or maybe I am a bully and I don't know it.
  • rowlandsw
    rowlandsw Posts: 1,166 Member
    I agree. I think a lot of it comes from the fact that they either realize they can't do what you did or they're just jerks and found a new reason to be annoying.
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
    Yup, it's jealousy and their own insecurity. I lost a couple of "friends" when I lost weight. You are beautiful, the negative people are not.
  • Jessicalg1981
    Jessicalg1981 Posts: 51 Member
    I got this a LOT. Sometimes I still get bs like, "you can stay in shape, b/c you don't have a job." I am a stay-at-home mom with a 3 & 5 year old...so I do plenty of physical work. I've also got the "bullying" comments, if I refused food...if I made any remotely "negative" comments about food...the list goes on.

    Oh well, I feel good about myself, so I don't let the idiotic comments bother me anymore. I chalk it up to insecurity or jealousy or maybe I am a bully and I don't know it.

    I can really relate to this! There is one lady I work with who always says things like, "Oh, it must be nice to have the time to run." Like she doesn't realize I force myself out of bed most days, sometimes when the sun isn't even up yet so that I can get a run in before my husband and kids wake up.

    Another big one is if I make the choice to have any sort of fatty snack while celebrating or something I usually get a comment something like, "well, the people I know that are thin eat healthy ALL the time." Like they're just waiting for me to pack on the pounds again. I've maintained for about 6 months now with ease, I think I'm doing ok.
  • Jessicalg1981
    Jessicalg1981 Posts: 51 Member
    Yup, it's jealousy and their own insecurity. I lost a couple of "friends" when I lost weight. You are beautiful, the negative people are not.

    :blushing: :blushing: thank you!!
  • derkin2005
    derkin2005 Posts: 282 Member
    Yes I have, Most have been supportive but there are some that accuse me of taking drugs and or surgery. Neither of which is true, reality is results take a LOT of hard work and sweat equity period.
  • JMel86
    JMel86 Posts: 124 Member
    I got this a LOT. Sometimes I still get bs like, "you can stay in shape, b/c you don't have a job." I am a stay-at-home mom with a 3 & 5 year old...so I do plenty of physical work. I've also got the "bullying" comments, if I refused food...if I made any remotely "negative" comments about food...the list goes on.

    Oh well, I feel good about myself, so I don't let the idiotic comments bother me anymore. I chalk it up to insecurity or jealousy or maybe I am a bully and I don't know it.

    I can really relate to this! There is one lady I work with who always says things like, "Oh, it must be nice to have the time to run." Like she doesn't realize I force myself out of bed most days, sometimes when the sun isn't even up yet so that I can get a run in before my husband and kids wake up.

    I can totally relate to this. I too, am up before the sun or after everyone is in bed to get my jogs in. My exercise doesn't cut in to anyone's time or my mommy & wife responsibilities. It cuts into my sleep, if anything ;) I think people really are just jealous. It's sad coz when others have huge life changes, I am happy for them & proud.

    Amazing weight loss, btw! You're awesome! :)
  • Jessicalg1981
    Jessicalg1981 Posts: 51 Member
    I got this a LOT. Sometimes I still get bs like, "you can stay in shape, b/c you don't have a job." I am a stay-at-home mom with a 3 & 5 year old...so I do plenty of physical work. I've also got the "bullying" comments, if I refused food...if I made any remotely "negative" comments about food...the list goes on.

    Oh well, I feel good about myself, so I don't let the idiotic comments bother me anymore. I chalk it up to insecurity or jealousy or maybe I am a bully and I don't know it.

    I can really relate to this! There is one lady I work with who always says things like, "Oh, it must be nice to have the time to run." Like she doesn't realize I force myself out of bed most days, sometimes when the sun isn't even up yet so that I can get a run in before my husband and kids wake up.

    I can totally relate to this. I too, am up before the sun or after everyone is in bed to get my jogs in. My exercise doesn't cut in to anyone's time or my mommy & wife responsibilities. It cuts into my sleep, if anything ;) I think people really are just jealous. It's sad coz when others have huge life changes, I am happy for them & proud.

    Amazing weight loss, btw! You're awesome! :)

    Yes!! I said that exact thing to my husband! He was like, "yeah, you didn't think anything like that would happen?" and I said, "No! I would NEVER react like that over someone's weight loss! I would only be truly happy for them whether I was fat or not!" And THANKS! :blushing:
  • BurnBabyyyBurn
    BurnBabyyyBurn Posts: 79
    Yeah...ignore them!!! That negativity usually comes from what kind of people? People who are less fit than you are. So...yeah... Continue doing your thing, girl!
  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
    This can be difficult because you are dealing with issues that are very personal. Some people carry a lot of pain around due to their weight. Be aware that almost anything you say to them can cause them to feel insecure or uncomfortable. If you've lost weight, and they haven't, it can feel like a slight.

    I see a lot of people in multiple threads who will call these people "haters" and suggest you ignore them. Just remember that no one is perfect, and that it's possible that you really have offended them in some way. I have done this myself, certainly without intending to do so.

    True story from today: My wife and I just ran into an old friend who appeared to have gained all the weight that I have lost. She was certainly very positive toward me, but my wife, in an attempt to make her feel better, said that "It's much easier for men! They just think about losing weight and the pounds drop off!" Now, I literally worked my @$$ off, and work hard to keep it that way. At first I was kind of angry about this - that was belittling my achievement! Is my wife a "hater?" Of course not -- she was just trying to be kind to our friend. I know that in fact she is very proud of me and supportive.

    I've had a lot of these kinds of incidents as a formerly fat person. I guess what has worked for me is to be as generous as I can toward others, and to NOT bring up the topic of weight loss and fitness unless I'm explicitly asked.
  • sue_langley
    sue_langley Posts: 63 Member
    This can be difficult because you are dealing with issues that are very personal. Some people carry a lot of pain around due to their weight. Be aware that almost anything you say to them can cause them to feel insecure or uncomfortable. If you've lost weight, and they haven't, it can feel like a slight.

    I see a lot of people in multiple threads who will call these people "haters" and suggest you ignore them. Just remember that no one is perfect, and that it's possible that you really have offended them in some way. I have done this myself, certainly without intending to do so.

    True story from today: My wife and I just ran into an old friend who appeared to have gained all the weight that I have lost. She was certainly very positive toward me, but my wife, in an attempt to make her feel better, said that "It's much easier for men! They just think about losing weight and the pounds drop off!" Now, I literally worked my @$$ off, and work hard to keep it that way. At first I was kind of angry about this - that was belittling my achievement! Is my wife a "hater?" Of course not -- she was just trying to be kind to our friend. I know that in fact she is very proud of me and supportive.

    I've had a lot of these kinds of incidents as a formerly fat person. I guess what has worked for me is to be as generous as I can toward others, and to NOT bring up the topic of weight loss and fitness unless I'm explicitly asked.
  • sue_langley
    sue_langley Posts: 63 Member
    yes I agree, were so excited we think they will want to know but it doesn't seem to be welcomed unless they ask
  • rkkid
    rkkid Posts: 8
    I don't get much of it because I tend to intimidate people too much for them to outright say it (in all my 5'6" glory) but I do get the passive aggressive comments like "why are you losing weight?" "you shouldn't lose so much" and these weird glares. I lost weight because I was fat, goddamnit, I'm allowed to do what I want with my own flubber!
    On the other hand too much positive attention also makes me uncomfortable. There's a few people who are always on about it while bemoaning that they can't lose it themselves and harassing me for weight loss tips. I wish they would back off a bit, I'm not really up to discussing this stuff.
  • firelight4321
    firelight4321 Posts: 60 Member
    Girl, the haters are flat out jealous. Just let them know that with some hard work they can look as good as you!
  • Jessicalg1981
    Jessicalg1981 Posts: 51 Member
    This can be difficult because you are dealing with issues that are very personal. Some people carry a lot of pain around due to their weight. Be aware that almost anything you say to them can cause them to feel insecure or uncomfortable. If you've lost weight, and they haven't, it can feel like a slight.

    I see a lot of people in multiple threads who will call these people "haters" and suggest you ignore them. Just remember that no one is perfect, and that it's possible that you really have offended them in some way. I have done this myself, certainly without intending to do so.

    True story from today: My wife and I just ran into an old friend who appeared to have gained all the weight that I have lost. She was certainly very positive toward me, but my wife, in an attempt to make her feel better, said that "It's much easier for men! They just think about losing weight and the pounds drop off!" Now, I literally worked my @$$ off, and work hard to keep it that way. At first I was kind of angry about this - that was belittling my achievement! Is my wife a "hater?" Of course not -- she was just trying to be kind to our friend. I know that in fact she is very proud of me and supportive.

    I've had a lot of these kinds of incidents as a formerly fat person. I guess what has worked for me is to be as generous as I can toward others, and to NOT bring up the topic of weight loss and fitness unless I'm explicitly asked.

    well put. I really do try not to say anything to anyone most of the time because I know this is a hard road to travel. Usually nothing gets to me. I was just really upset about someone telling me I was a bully when we were discussing the issue. I mean, I know none of you know me personally but I am so far from that type of person. It just really threw me for a loop.
  • GaleHawkins
    GaleHawkins Posts: 8,159 Member
    Negative people will always find something/someone to be negative about. When we eat/live in a way that reduces health risks like strokes, cancer, heart attacks, Type 2 diabetes, Alzheimer's, and on and on the list can go that is great for us and our families.

    I just read where developing Type 2 Diabetes triples our risk of cancer. Showing our kids how to prevent diabetes by example is being a good role model for an example.

    @Jessicalg1981 keep up the great job and being a role model for other true friends and family members.

Categories