Husband eats what he wants/ I'm trying to lose weight
Zayzaysmom
Posts: 5 Member
It's hard when you don't have a support system at home. Looking for ppl that are in the same situation as me w. no support system at home or work. Looking to lose 25-35lbs. I know i can do it... i've lost 55lbs in the past but have had a hard time after having my son which is now 2. I can't seem to stick to any food plan especially on the wkend. Looking for a dedicated Buddy!
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Why do you feel your husband doesn't support you just because he's not overweight? Why does he need to watch what he eats if he's not trying to lose weight?0
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Sorry, this might not be the supportive feedback you were looking for, but it shouldn't matter if your husband eats what he wants. He's not the one trying to change and lose weight, you are. I've lost nearly 50 lbs since last March and I did it by myself and I'm a mother of two teenage girls that also eat whatever they want. Are you the one making the meals and doing the shopping? If so, then just make healthy meals and make sure your portions are smaller than your husbands and fit in your calorie goals. When your husband reaches for a bag of chips, make yourself a bowl of popcorn or some other healthy snack. If you're truly dedicated to losing weight then what other people do shouldn't matter. You are in control of your own eating.0
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You don't have to eat special foods to lose weight. It's all in the portion sizes.0
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Are you trying to restrict yourself too much?
please open your food diary if you would.0 -
Based on the title of your post, I feel like I am in the same boat. My husband buys chips and cookies for snacks for work, and I am over here like "yummy protein shake!" I have, in the last year and a half, lost 50 lbs, but I have another 15 to go to reach my goal. This might be my hang up. I have a 5 and 2 year old who like to eat like dad. I try to encourage the healthy habits for everyone, but it's difficult to change a guy's mind after 25+ years of eating a certain way. My motivation?: That eventually they will see how happy I am being fit and be encouraged to try it themselves. One Day. :-) And keep up the habits around the house so my kids think snacking on fruits and veggies is more normal than always snacking on chips.0
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Well I would not say that I have No support system. My family truly is supporting me the best they can, but they do not alter their eating habits if they do not have to.
My husband is actually under weight and can pretty much eat whatever he wants and not gain. It gets frustrating, but if he does not want want I am eating he is on his own to make him something else, order something or have a bowl of cereal. I do not make 2 meals to fit him, I worry about me.
You focus on you and let us be your support system. Tell your family your feelings and that this is what you want to do. Let them know that you do not want them pushing food on you and that if you go to gatherings you may bring your own food, or if you go out to eat pick a place you know you can eat healthy.0 -
Men are pigs0
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My husband is incredibly supportive but he eats whatever he wants. He's slim and has a fast metabolism (and it just hasn't caught up with him yet though I'm always telling him it will eventually) so I have to always watch him eating stuff I can't even touch. My advice to you is do this for yourself. Not for him, not for anyone else. Focus on you. If I were in your shoes, I would ask him for emotional support and motivation but really, what he eats is really up to him and the same goes for you!
Good luck!0 -
Since when does eating what you want equate to being unsupportive?
Am I in bizarro land, or should I feel guilty because I run almost every day and eat like a pig?0 -
You will find it easier to stick to a program if: (a) you take some time to write down the particular reasons you want to get healthier; (b) you pick a food plan that is not super restrictive and, for the most part, does not require you to eliminate your favorite foods (noting that fried foods would be tough to keep in the plan); and (c) you learn to stop eating when you are full, and not continue eating just because your mind tells you its yummy.
You can find some of my (a) on my profile page. So, this is me applying (b) and (c)....I love pizza and don't plan to give it up. I know 2 decent sized pieces of cheese or veggie pizza are enough to fill me up AND generally fit within any calorie limitations. I know I will want more than 2 pieces sometimes, but that wanting more than 2 pieces is a mental thing and not a physical need to fill me up. I also know that there are healthier things than pizza so I don't eat it more than once a week (sometimes twice a week and sometimes not for a few weeks)....but I'm good knowing I don't eliminate pizza from my food options.
Remember, this works best when you're not trying to follow an overly restrictive food plan because following an overly restrictive food plan for the long haul is not realistic. Instead, this is a lifestyle and in life, we eat foods we love and sometimes we over indulge. The key is to try to eat healthier food options, and eat indulgent foods in moderation.
If you want to send me a FR, I'm cool with that.0 -
The key is inside you. Once you make the commitment to lose the weight - nothing and no one will be able to stop you. As others have said, it's about portion control more than what you eat. My husband doesn't need to lose weight. He's supportive of me, but I would never deny him what he wants. We eat the same meals - I just eat less. It works.0
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This calorie counting has gone on for 2 years with me so I am not even bothered what he eats anymore. Do this for you and be stern.0
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Sorry, this might not be the supportive feedback you were looking for, but it shouldn't matter if your husband eats what he wants. He's not the one trying to change and lose weight, you are. I've lost nearly 50 lbs since last March and I did it by myself and I'm a mother of two teenage girls that also eat whatever they want. Are you the one making the meals and doing the shopping? If so, then just make healthy meals and make sure your portions are smaller than your husbands and fit in your calorie goals. When your husband reaches for a bag of chips, make yourself a bowl of popcorn or some other healthy snack. If you're truly dedicated to losing weight then what other people do shouldn't matter. You are in control of your own eating.
^^^^ This.
Yeah, it would be great if everyone everywhere supported everything we did, but that's just not practical.
Sometimes it sucks when the people you're closest to seem to be sabotaging you, but trust me, they're not. They're not the ones with the food problem, we are, and they should not be expected to change their lifestyles because we are. EVERY DAY you're going to be faced with these temptations and you're going to need to learn how to develop coping mechanisms. Working it out with your loved one seems to be the best way to me!0 -
p.s....do not allow your husband's eating habits to be an excuse to your own healthy goals. and that's all it is....a stumbling block to I CAN. Keep in mind that YOU CAN make healthy choices regardless of what choices your husband makes. It comes down to how important it is TO YOU to get healthy...and making sure you know those reasons (see (a) in my previous post).
The only reason you can't be healthy is because of your choices0 -
Can you be more specific regarding what behaviors are unsupportive? Maybe we can offer some practical suggestions.
My husband is six feet tall, and I'm 5'2" and he just plain "gets" to eat more than me. If he's eating what I'm eating, the guy is going to starve.0 -
Since when does eating what you want equate to being unsupportive?
Am I in bizarro land, or should I feel guilty because I run almost every day and eat like a pig?
This is a great point.
I do a lot of running, in addition to triathlons, so I eat lots of carbs according to the distances I run. My husband avoids carb, eating a low carb diet. Does make me insensitive and unsupportive? Nope! It just means I'm doing what's right for my health and body. Does it mean I'm sabotaging him when I bring home a loaf of bread? Nope! Just making my dinner!0 -
I feel your pain. I've been watching my weight since I was 8 years old and, even though I've been maintaining for years, I have to be vigilant with both my exercise and eating habits to hang on - and I weigh myself every day.
My other half, however, all 188 lbs of him, is naturally lean and tight. He weighs himself "every so often" and controls his weight range (185 - 192 lbs) by "just eating a bit more, or a bit less sometimes." That's it - that's his whole plan - that's all he has to do.
I just keep reminding myself that killing him would be wrong . . . and I'd miss him, so I've had to learn to live with it.0 -
I'll be your buddy.0
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Men are pigs
:laugh:0 -
I agree; everything is about choice. I'm trying to live a positive healthy lifestyle, my hubby does his own thing I don't sweat over it. I've given up on some certain foods before him, and still limit what I take in. I've given up alcohol and that's the one things he still tries to peer pressure me on, but I'm holding my ground and he's excepting that.
Don't let others around you effect your choice, your taste, your goal! And Don't beat yourself up if a little slip slides through, just aim again and continue....
It took practice for Robin Hood to hit the bullseye0 -
Although we go through life alongside our spouses... We don't need to want the same things 100% of the time. Your weight loss journey is your own and you have to work through what motivates you to stay on track. This motivation shouldn't be coming from your spouse, it should be coming from you. His support can be telling you you look smoking hot as you continue to lose weight. Or giving you space to do your workouts.
I buy my husband cookies, ice cream and chips because he shouldn't have to live without them because I am watching what I eat. On top of these "treats" I force feed him protein smoothies and snacks so that he does not lose weight because he has different caloric needs than me. He is 6'2 and 150 lbs... he needs to eat way more than me, bottom line. I make dinner for both of us and modify mine to a lower carb option... I'll make myself spaghetti with spaghetti squash while making him regular spaghetti with garlic bread and ceasar salad. Oh well, this is the lifestyle I chose because I know my little body can't overeat.
Try to find some of your own treats that you can eat so you stop condemning him for eating. Get an acti-fryer and make yourself some sweet potato chips. Make meringue cookies with stevia. Nibble on some dark chocolate. If you are restricting yourself too much you won't be able to sustain this lifestyle.0 -
Since when does eating what you want equate to being unsupportive?
Am I in bizarro land, or should I feel guilty because I run almost every day and eat like a pig?
This is a great point.
I do a lot of running, in addition to triathlons, so I eat lots of carbs according to the distances I run. My husband avoids carb, eating a low carb diet. Does make me insensitive and unsupportive? Nope! It just means I'm doing what's right for my health and body. Does it mean I'm sabotaging him when I bring home a loaf of bread? Nope! Just making my dinner!
Your sense of personal accountability is not welcome here so please alt+⇐0 -
My husband eats whatever he wants too. I have asked him, though....if I am on the treadmill, please don't sit and eat a bowl of cookies and ice cream where I can see you. That doesn't help. He is all for going for a walk or bike ride whenever I want to go though, so that helps too. I don't give up anything....just measure it out and it is ok to have a cheat meal sometimes. It keeps you on track. Good luck and friend me if you would like.0
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I get it - my husband is 5'11" and about 150# - he tries to be supportive, but sometimes without thinking he suddenly gets a sweet tooth or wants to go out for ice cream and actually says 'lets go' forgetting that I shouldn't have it.
He is really good about meals - and we can adjust and eat as a family (and my kids are little skinny minis too - thanks daddy!) So sometimes its hard when he wants to go out for a treat - or something. I've told him to try to get it out of his system at lunch when I'm not around - but that doesn't always work either.
I try to be EXTRA careful at breakfast and lunch when he isn't around, so that I can have some small stuff or make a crazier dinner when he and the kids are around.0 -
I get it - my husband is 5'11" and about 150# - he tries to be supportive, but sometimes without thinking he suddenly gets a sweet tooth or wants to go out for ice cream and actually says 'lets go' forgetting that I shouldn't have it.
He is really good about meals - and we can adjust and eat as a family (and my kids are little skinny minis too - thanks daddy!) So sometimes its hard when he wants to go out for a treat - or something. I've told him to try to get it out of his system at lunch when I'm not around - but that doesn't always work either.
I try to be EXTRA careful at breakfast and lunch when he isn't around, so that I can have some small stuff or make a crazier dinner when he and the kids are around.
I'm curious if you understand what he has done where he now finds himself at 150#.
(Not picking on you personally...but I suspect at least a few people in this thread won't actually know the answer to this.)0 -
I also eat what I want whenever possible.0
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I will fix my husband whatever he wants. I don't have to eat when he's eating. I have a goal to achieve and make myself healthy. This is ALL ABOUT ME! It's all about control. You can do this....IF...you want to be healthy and feel good about yourself.0
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I'm definitely doing it for myself... he could care less if i stayed the same or if i weighed more... when we met i weighed much more.0
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@Jtick - I'm not saying that he has to watch everything he eats but i'm saying it would be helpful if he were considerate of the things he brought into the house knowing that i'm trying and he could also stand to lose a few lbs0
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