Husband eats what he wants/ I'm trying to lose weight

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Replies

  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    OP was just looking for some support on here. She wasn't complaining about her husband eating what he wants. She never said she expected him to change his habits. I can't believe people read so much into it that she didn't say. It clearly looked like she was just asking for some friends to support her.

    Everyone is giving their best support here. It is giving the bottom line, what helped me most in even getting ON this journey to begin with was the realization that nobody is going to do it for me, it's all on me to either do it or not do it. Now maybe that isn't what the OP needs to hear or wants to hear, but it worked for me. Maybe it will work for someone reading this.
  • Adahbaby
    Adahbaby Posts: 14
    I know right! I thought the same thing when I read the responses she got. Like calm down ppl we all need a little support. Geez.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    My husband is incredibly supportive but he eats whatever he wants.

    I think that's key.

    being supportive is one thing.

    not eating what you are or how you are is not "not supportive"

    two totally different subjects.
  • floridakathleen
    floridakathleen Posts: 2 Member
    thanks everyone. I needed to read these positive comments today. It is tough going when others can eat what they want, and you struggle just to lose 1/2 pound. Good luck to you.
  • 19TaraLynn84
    19TaraLynn84 Posts: 739 Member
    I know right! I thought the same thing when I read the responses she got. Like calm down ppl we all need a little support. Geez.

    I think everybody was just fired up and ready for one of those, "My husband sabotages me by eating ice cream in front of me" threads. Lol!
  • foryoublue
    foryoublue Posts: 24
    People everywhere are going to be eating gross stuff you shouldn't be eating. It's more difficult when it's *in your home* and the food is there to eat, but your husband is not the source of the problem. You're just in a situation where you need to learn to be strong and really focus on your commitment to being healthier. Eventually you won't crave processed snacks and whatnot, and if you do, you'll have the control to allow yourself a treat here and there. But please don't put this on your husband, as long as he is emotionally supporting your decision to be healthy, and doesn't need/want to do the same, that's where you need to keep your focus. Not on his eating habits, unless he's really unhealthy in which case he needs to get on a good plan for his own health, not for your personal peace of mind.

    Also, I had my husband hide snacks from me that I knew would be extra difficult for me to stay away from. He happily complied. I felt like *that* was amazing support. I didn't need him to abstain from his own food choices.
  • mic_ie
    mic_ie Posts: 5 Member
    I totally know where you are coming from. Even though my fiance isn't necessarily being unsupportive, it doesn't help when he is eating pizza, fried chicken, and fast food all the time around me. It makes my chicken breast or salad seem so much less satisfying. Just smelling it makes me think I want it so bad.I am just getting back in the band wagon after losing 35 pounds when I got off kidney medication a few years ago and now have gained about half of it back. My goal weight is 15 pounds lighter than I am. A few things I am doing this time is eating a salad or other vegetable first and then whatever the main course is second. I use a small plate and even sometimes just put one thing on my plate at a time and get up to get the second thing just so I can trick myself into thinking I am eating seconds when I am not. You just need to find the little things that work for you. Don't get discouraged with a bad day and start out slow. Don't try to eat only healthy foods at once. Start slow until it's a habit and keep adding something new every week or two. Good luck!
  • luvmybabeez
    luvmybabeez Posts: 56 Member
    I have no support but the support I make or ask for. I am trying to surround myself with like minded individuals who are in it for the long haul.

    My husband eats what he wants to eat and that's just the way it is. I cook healthy, heart smart meals for my family and am trying to teach my children all of the things that I was never taught. I have learnt to turn a blind eye when it comes to hubby. It is super hard especially on weekends when he pulls through a drive through and orders what ever but I manage to do it. I bring healthy snacks for myself and lots of water.

    Please feel free to add me as a friend if you would like additional support. Good luck on your journey. <3
  • littlelaura
    littlelaura Posts: 1,028 Member
    that was my excuse for years, then finally I had to get over it because it doesn't matter control you , control what goes into your mouth and body and don't focus on excuses because one day your life might depend on you eating correctly. While it is nice to get support from a husband, partner, or anyone , sometimes you don't have that and just have to work around it.
  • Jeffs_Jess
    Jeffs_Jess Posts: 28
    I was watching a great documentary on weight loss the other day and it shared a phrase that I thought was very important.
    Change your thinking from "I want it but I can't have it" to "I can have it but I don't want it".

    It's hard when we don't have the support. My boyfriend eats a bit of junk and it's hard for me. Sometimes I give in. But ultimately, you're in control of Your body.
  • Collier78
    Collier78 Posts: 811 Member
    Men are pigs


    If men are pigs...does that make them bacon??? My husband might get a little more action if I thought he was made out of bacon...
  • lavaughan69
    lavaughan69 Posts: 459 Member
    I was watching a great documentary on weight loss the other day and it shared a phrase that I thought was very important.
    Change your thinking from "I want it but I can't have it" to "I can have it but I don't want it".

    It's hard when we don't have the support. My boyfriend eats a bit of junk and it's hard for me. Sometimes I give in. But ultimately, you're in control of Your body.

    Love it! I rarely feel like the "tortured" dieter that can't have the things I want anymore. The reality is, I can have what I want, I just have to decide if I want to use up all my calories in one place or not. It's much easier once you realize you have a choice and you're not being told you can't have something.

    I sometimes wonder how our significant others feel about our healthy choices? Do we inadvertently make them feel bad about themselves for not having the willpower or the drive to eat healthier?
  • denisegunnels
    denisegunnels Posts: 43 Member
    Do what you need to do and ignore the pookie out of him. I've been doing this since August 2013. HE has eaten what he wanted the whole time. I still cook for him and never took it personally. I am doing this for ME. After seeing what I've done the last few months....guess who joined MFP last weekend? :love:

    That said, my DH has been nothing but totally supportive the whole time. If yours is picking on you and trying to get you to eat what/when you know you shouldn't then he is a jerk you have other issues way beyond a diet. :noway:
  • SephiraRose
    SephiraRose Posts: 766 Member
    My husband is supportive of my weight loss, my complaint is that he has lost 18 lbs since Jan with very little effort... so jealous.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    People everywhere are going to be eating gross stuff you shouldn't be eating. It's more difficult when it's *in your home* and the food is there to eat, but your husband is not the source of the problem. You're just in a situation where you need to learn to be strong and really focus on your commitment to being healthier.
    People eating "gross stuff" isn't a problem for me at all. Why would it be? I have zero temptation to eat "gross stuff".
    Eventually you won't crave processed snacks and whatnot, and if you do, you'll have the control to allow yourself a treat here and there.

    Wait, what? I'm beginning to think I don't fully understand what's going on in here.
    But please don't put this on your husband, as long as he is emotionally supporting your decision to be healthy, and doesn't need/want to do the same, that's where you need to keep your focus. Not on his eating habits, unless he's really unhealthy in which case he needs to get on a good plan for his own health, not for your personal peace of mind.

    Also, I had my husband hide snacks from me that I knew would be extra difficult for me to stay away from. He happily complied. I felt like *that* was amazing support. I didn't need him to abstain from his own food choices.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Oh... this thread....again. :yawn:
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    I was watching a great documentary on weight loss the other day and it shared a phrase that I thought was very important.
    Change your thinking from "I want it but I can't have it" to "I can have it but I don't want it".

    It's hard when we don't have the support. My boyfriend eats a bit of junk and it's hard for me. Sometimes I give in. But ultimately, you're in control of Your body.

    How is "a bit of junk" a problem for an overall calorie deficit???

    I'm beginning to think that people are arguing completely different topics.

    Or perhaps people have completely unrealistic expectations for everyone around them.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    I was watching a great documentary on weight loss the other day and it shared a phrase that I thought was very important.
    Change your thinking from "I want it but I can't have it" to "I can have it but I don't want it".

    It's hard when we don't have the support. My boyfriend eats a bit of junk and it's hard for me. Sometimes I give in. But ultimately, you're in control of Your body.

    How is "a bit of junk" a problem for an overall calorie deficit???

    I'm beginning to think that people are arguing completely different topics.

    Or perhaps people have completely unrealistic expectations for everyone around them.

    yeah I'm not sure how we derailed off to that- oh wait- it's MFP...everything turns into a clean or not argument LMAO
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    TL;DR all the responses, but FWIW...

    My husband wasn't very supportive when I started my lifestyle change. I think he thought it was gonna be rabbit food and rice cakes forever. Until he realized we can still have chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes w/ gravy and all his other favorites. I just eat 6oz of meat, 1/2 cup potatoes, no gravy and a bunch of steamed green veggies on the side. Once he realized I wasn't gonna
  • mehitabel83
    mehitabel83 Posts: 13 Member
    Lol, yep. He is amazing, and I love him. The point is, we are LOSING weight, which means we don't have our *kitten* together yet, especially early in the process. As we lose weight, the hope is that we develop the muscles that allow us to make the right decisions, but first we have to get to that point. A little help from the loved ones in the beginning goes a long way.

    You wouldn't ask someone who's been hanging out on the couch eating Doritos for years to bang out ten pullups on the first visit to the gym---you'd have them do australian pullups, or gravitron, or add some bands and a little human assistance, or lat pulldowns...so why would you expect the flabby willpower and decision-making abilities to be at full strength in the beginning?

    Even the amazing people in your life can have blinders on about their own actions and how they relate to you. Each and every time, my husband was like, --'Oh! I didn't know!" He meant it--he was just saying what was on his mind, and didn't realize that early on I needed some filters that helped me do right and be right...
  • mfnavarro
    mfnavarro Posts: 1
    Girl I know how you feel, I lost 65 pound when I was living at home but now I live with my bf and it has been so hard to lose weight. I have gained weight and feel horrible about it because it took me for ever to lose it. And like you I don't feel support at home because I'm the one alway trying to eat healthy.

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