Teenagers and random room inspections

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  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Coming from a good kid who had her parents snoop and find birth control I was on for endometriosis, which, in turn, caused them to change their will instead of being freaking adults and talking to me about it... I'm against it, unless mine gives me a reason to.

    Why didn't your parents know you were medicated for endometriosis in the first place?
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    I'm 53 and don't know what the coffee filters are for. Please explain.

    For the "special grind"
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    I would not do that unless I suspected my daughter was doing drugs or lying about something significant.
  • mariepreston1995
    mariepreston1995 Posts: 221
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    I think teens should have some privacy... I would at least warn them that you're going to do it first.
    I'll be in my room on my laptop or something and my mom will burst in out of nowhere to try and catch me doing something haha
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
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    Right now she's 11, but if she turns out to be anything like I was as a teenager, YES. Of course, I was always smart enough not to leave anything in my room. The worst that ever happened to me with a room inspection was that my parents bagged up all the clothes that were laying around on my floor and they wouldn't let me have them back for about a month. I had to prove I could do my laundry and keep my room nicer.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I'd be pissed he was using coffee filter's in lieu of some very less costly materials available...

    Really? Coffee Filters??

    Yeah, my son would get a beatin' for wasting good coffee filters. That is what your stinky gym socks are for. Sure, they get a little crusty and are a dead giveaway of what you've been doing but... nobody voluntarily grabs a good handful of a dirty sock. Even when I started doing my own laundry I dressed like I was on a HAZMAT team.

    *hi five* Right on, brotha. My mini isn't there yet... I should start teaching him how to do his own laundry now to avoid it all together.
  • Rosplosion
    Rosplosion Posts: 739 Member
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    Coming from a good kid who had her parents snoop and find birth control I was on for endometriosis, which, in turn, caused them to change their will instead of being freaking adults and talking to me about it... I'm against it, unless mine gives me a reason to.


    *giant sigh* I didn't think it was possible to hate your parents more.

    My mom found my birth control too. I was 16 and it was a friggin huge deal that I was having sex with my serious boyfriend. So my mom interrogates me...my whole life she said that sex is for people who love each other. So I find someone who I love and it's not good enough for her that not only I'm having a loving relationship, but I'm doing my best to make sure I don't get pregnant. I'd clearly already been lying to her for a long time, but this type of **** is why you have to talk with your kids.

    Don't make assumptions. Sit down with them. LISTEN TO THEM. Try to understand, you remember what it was like to be a kid. Don't lie. You're still a friggin kid.
  • pawnstarNate
    pawnstarNate Posts: 1,728 Member
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    I'd be pissed he was using coffee filter's in lieu of some very less costly materials available...

    Really? Coffee Filters??

    Yeah, my son would get a beatin' for wasting good coffee filters. That is what your stinky gym socks are for. Sure, they get a little crusty and are a dead giveaway of what you've been doing but... nobody voluntarily grabs a good handful of a dirty sock. Even when I started doing my own laundry I dressed like I was on a HAZMAT team.

    Very true but, what if he's really doing Oragami's? If I took the coffee filters, would I be damaging his creative side? (and no, I've never seen one oragami that he has done..lmao)
  • jaynalawayna
    jaynalawayna Posts: 80 Member
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    I grew up the daughter of a Marine Corps drill sergeant who conducted weekly barracks inspections in our home. Now as a single mother of a 17 year old girl - I respect her privacy. I only go into her room with explicit permission and only remove anything from her room with explicit permission. The discarded pregnancy test in the trash can of our shared bathroom - that's something I definitely brought up.
  • threefancy
    threefancy Posts: 93 Member
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    No inspections. There are few things that are worse than having my privacy invaded. I wouldn't do it to anyone else.
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
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    If my hypothetical kids were like me as a teenager, they'll be sleeping in the living room under full spotlights with motion sensors embedded in the floor.

    My sisters had it a lot easier with my parents because let's just say... if there was something to try and get past them, I did it. I love them very much and always have, I just had an, erm, authority issue.

    :laugh:
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,592 Member
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    against it

    my mom would never ever had done it...she had no reason too id tell her anything and I mean anything because I knew I could

    no matter what it was.......drugs,sex,rock&roll
  • Dewymorning
    Dewymorning Posts: 762 Member
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    Only if I suspect something.
    I occasionally would "clean their room" for them if their rooms were messy, and it gave me a chance to inspect.
    They hated that.

    Probably this.

    My mum did sometimes clean my room, though she never touched my desks or drawers, as I would get annoyed at her if she did. (("Mum, I can't find my Latin assignment, did you move it?"))

    I think parents should give their teenagers a degree of freedom, but if they suspect something more serious going on, time to investigate.

    Also, someone mentioned phones, I certainly agree that for children with phones, parents should keep an eye on what is happening, as a protection to the child. As they get older the parents should step back more.
  • Ely82010
    Ely82010 Posts: 1,998 Member
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    What is the point of this, to make your kids feel violated? No. This is a bad idea. It's only going to make them become more inclined to hide things from you. Better liars, better at hiding things from you to avoid embarrassment humiliation and shame.

    The point I'm trying to make is you need to talk with your kids. If you make your home a safe environment where your children fell trusted it might work out better for you and them.
    [/quote

    That is a logic that escapes some teenagers' minds. I preferred to have my kids feel "violated," that find them in trouble or dead.

    Besides, privacy has to be earned, some kids are not open to talks, specially from parents/adults, and learning by example doesn't work with them all the time; at least it didn't with mine. And by the way, they had an excellent, safe, and transparent environment, which they now as adults, regret not to have benefited from.

    You never know what is going on inside a teen's mind (Or room).
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    When I was a kid, my mom went through my stuff constantly. But she didn't mind that I had books, music & magazines meant for much older teens, which was my only "secret". She also would not let me clean my own room or sit on my made bed. She was a control freak!

    From ages 13-18 I lived with my dad & stepmom. Very surprisingly, they didn't go through my stuff once I was about 14. When I was 13 I had a couple of very adult books (sex guides) in my closet and my stepmom cleaned my room while I was on a church-sponsored amusement park trip (LOL) and she threw those books away but never said a single word. After that they didn't go through my things at all. I'd have known if they did because at any given time I had a stash of liquor, clove cigarettes, X-rated materials, and many adult books and "explicit lyrics" cds/tapes (it was the 90s). They had someone clean the house weekly but she was never to clean my bedroom. I vacuumed and washed my linens every Sunday without being asked. We were all good.
  • KristinaB83
    KristinaB83 Posts: 440 Member
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    My parents tried to go through my stuff when I was a teenager... Until they found a vibrator. Then they stopped.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    My parents tried to go through my stuff when I was a teenager... Until they found a vibrator. Then they stopped.

    BWAHAHAHA! Awesome.
  • mariepreston1995
    mariepreston1995 Posts: 221
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    against it

    my mom would never ever had done it...she had no reason too id tell her anything and I mean anything because I knew I could

    no matter what it was.......drugs,sex,rock&roll

    This. Kids should be able to go to their parents for anything. Kind of hard to do when they search your room for answers.
  • pawnstarNate
    pawnstarNate Posts: 1,728 Member
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    against it

    my mom would never ever had done it...she had no reason too id tell her anything and I mean anything because I knew I could

    no matter what it was.......drugs,sex,rock&roll

    This. Kids should be able to go to their parents for anything. Kind of hard to do when they search your room for answers.

    True but, when they don't go to their parents for anything and they use a "follower" mentality with the wrong crowds. There is a fine line

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