I Have Never Owned A Pair Of Jeans, Until Today.

That's right. I am 69 years old, and I have gone my entire life without even trying on a pair of jeans. I was too fat for jeans in Junior High, High School, College, my 20's, my 30's, my 40's, my 50's and even now, after losing 113 pounds. Well...at least, that is what I thought. Then, something happened.

It was announced in church that next Sunday will be Tee Shirt and Jeans Sunday. My first thought was, “You’ve got to be kidding. Even Mother Bowen owns a pair of jeans, and she is in her 80’s. What was my excuse? It’s not like I am too fat anymore. In fact, I am the smallest woman in the church right now. Even the beautiful 20 years old girls in the congregation are heavier than me.

So, what was stopping me from buying and wearing jeans? It was nothing but old messages that I had been carrying around in my brain for too many years. “Fat girls shouldn’t wear jeans.” “Jeans are for cute, little girls with tiny butts and flat tummies.” “You will look foolish.” “Mutton dressed up like lamb,” as my mother would say. Which meant that old ladies should not wear clothes designed for teenagers; and obviously, jeans are only for teenagers and cowgirls. Right?

However, something clicked in my old brain on Sunday. Not even one of those church ladies felt silly wearing jeans, not Pastor Bowen or her mother. I was the only one who was afraid to be seen in jeans.

With encouragement from some of the church ladies and some Sisters on MFP, I finally realized that it was time to delete those old messages. I made up my mind to finally put my butt into a pair of jeans. I started today with that very goal in mind.

Ed took me to Walmart, where I found a sweet sales clerk to help me select some jeans to try on. I gave this lady a very clear list of must haves and must not haves for my first pair of jeans.

1. No hip huggers. I wasn’t about to walk around with a muffin top. I think that look tacky and unattractive. If you don’t have abs like Gillian Michaels, you need to rein in the extra fat that is popping out or hanging over your waist band. If your butt crack is threatening to moon everyone around you, then get your ample butt into the right size pants that cover your butt and muffin top. Noone thinks that your extra fat looks cute or sexy over the top of your jeans, but you. Stop wearing pants that stop at your pubic area, just because you want to be able to say, “I wear a size 10.” Your belly is probably a size 18.

2. No faded jeans that look like they are been worn 1,000 times. It is even worse, when they have bleach spots, worn out areas over the thighs and butt…and (Heaven forbid) no pants that are shredded over the thighs, knees and some other even worse areas. I wanted a nice pair of new looking jeans in dark navy or even black that would look crisp and clean for church.

3. Not too tight in the legs. I didn’t want to struggle to pull those jeans over my feet. After double knee surgery, I shouldn't be wrestling to get my size 8/9 feet into the legs of my new jeans on Sunday morning.

4. Speaking of wrestling with my pants. The size had to be just right. I wasn’t about to lay on my back, hold my breath and use pliers to pull up the zipper on those pants. I also didn’t want to have to hire a professional wrestler to get my butt into skin tight jeans.

5. Last but not least…I thought it might be nice to have something pretty on the back pockets, like those designer jeans…just something to make them look less like cowgirl pants.

Well…in no time at all, I was in the dressing room with 3 pair of Lee Ryder jeans in my size, which turned out to be 16 petite in jeans. You Sisters were right. Jeans run smaller than my polyester pants.

As I pulled up that first pair of boot cut jeans, I was amazed that they slid on with no resistance. They were a perfect fit. These dark blue pants will be just right for casual activities during the coming months, but they weren’t exactly what I wanted for church. That’s when, I decided to go for 2 pair of jeans today.



The next pair of Lee Ryder caught my attention, while they were just lying on display table. These were no everyday jeans. These were jeans with attitude. The dark, teal green jeans with the slim legs had something extra. Both the back pockets had a beautiful embroidered design that was set off with rhinestones. These were Lee Ryder Glitz jeans, and I just loved them at first sight. I had a little bling for my butt.

I will be honest. I had to take a deep breath to close that button at the waistband and pull up the zipper on this pair of jeans, but I did it. I kind of like that little bit of ‘snug’ over my butt and around my tummy. Best of all, I caught a glimpse of the rhinestones sparkling in the dressing room mirror. These jeans made me feel sexy. Yep. Suddenly, I was a 69 year old hottie in her tight, Glitz jeans. These were the pant for Sunday Tee Shirt and Jeans Day. I now owned not one but two pair of jeans, after all these years.



By the way…when I got home, I tried on the Glitz jeans for my hubbie Ed. He walked over to me, put his index finger on my butt, made a sound like sizzling bacon and said, “Hot Mama!”

Now, that confirmed what I felt earlier. Yep. I am a 69 year old hottie.

Here is the design on the back of those Glitz jeans.



Do your jeans make you feel sexy?