To Tell Or Not To Tell

Options
ScifiGirl1986
ScifiGirl1986 Posts: 104 Member
in Getting Started
Earlier, I posted on a thread that I'm leery about telling my family about trying to lose weight and I was wondering if this is something others have felt too. I'm afraid that if I tell my family about this and I don't lose the weight that they won't understand and will be unsupportive. That's just who they are--at least when it comes to me; anything i do is never good enough.
«13

Replies

  • bambishealth
    bambishealth Posts: 133 Member
    Options
    It's entirely up to you who to tell. You could tell the part of your family you live with...they may be able to help you with your eating habits. Otherwise, it shouldn't be something "to tell." If you lose weight and they just start to notice, all the better!
  • rainydays5
    rainydays5 Posts: 217 Member
    Options
    I do this with many things. I think it actually comes from not wanting to disappoint anyone. I have struggled with this all my life. This time its a little easier because my hubby decided to take this journey with me. While he has lost quite a bit compared to me, he is still very supportive and I do not feel like I am disappointing anyone.
  • lindabeth333
    lindabeth333 Posts: 130 Member
    Options
    Trust your instinct - they will see your results as time goes by - if you dont feel comfortable talking to them - you can share here. Maybe when they see you doing well - they will be supportive!
  • blackmax78
    blackmax78 Posts: 28 Member
    Options
    For me I told my dad, the most supportive and understanding of the bunch... I'm sure whatever you decide will be right for you.
  • psmd
    psmd Posts: 764 Member
    Options
    It's hard to know exactly without knowing you and your family, but I do think its good to be accountable to someone. If your family ( or whoever) is disappointed that's their problem. But hopefully you'll succeed in a way that at least you're happy with yourself. Good luck!
  • daw0518
    daw0518 Posts: 459 Member
    Options
    I can totally understand why some people would not want to tell family. I'm really close to my parents & talk to my mom at least once a day, so I told them & they've been great. They were actually my inspiration to get started, because when my dad was diagnosed with diabetes a few years ago, they totally changed their eating habits & both lost a ton of weight almost by accident. I was so amazed at how much can happen just by eating in moderation & decided to try it myself!

    Other than family, I've only told maybe 2 of my close friends who are also here on MFP, and some of my cohort-mates in grad school. It's hard to secretly diet around people you see every single day - especially since you're often asked to go out to eat, etc. I had to tell them so I didn't look like a total jerk turning down homemade cookies & cupcakes when people make them & bring them in. I purposely haven't said anything on Facebook or any other social media site because I intend to just lose weight quietly and let any pictures that show up throughout the year speak for themselves.
  • michellewelch2010
    michellewelch2010 Posts: 147 Member
    Options
    I tell people who will cheer me on through the race. Negative/pessimists mo way. It's the same with quitting smoking. You are supposed to tell people so it makes you accountable, but at the same time you want to tell people who will support you "if" you fall, not snicker.
  • Cameronbear
    Cameronbear Posts: 7 Member
    Options
    If you don't feel they will be supportive, and that their negativity would impact you in a bad way, keep it to yourself for now.
  • krawhitham
    krawhitham Posts: 831 Member
    Options
    The only person I told was my boyfriend because I live with him! Everyone else will get to see once I lose a considerable amount of weight. If they notice or ask, I plan on just telling them "oh I'm not doing much of anything" and changing the subject. I don't think my weight or weight loss should be a topic of conversation. Everyone around me should just accept me for me no matter the size.
  • MizMimi111
    MizMimi111 Posts: 244 Member
    Options
    Do you mean extended family or immediate like husband, boyfriend, SO? It took me about a week and a half to tell my hubby and kids. They've been very supportive.

    My extended family I've said nothing about it and they have not mentioned any changes they've noticed. Me? I like it that way.

    If they won't be supportive, don't tell. You're doing this for you, not them.

    Get your support here and from people you know will be positive.
  • elansc
    elansc Posts: 24 Member
    Options
    I agree with an earlier post -- share here and tell whomever you think will be supportive. At the beginning I only told a few people and as I lost more weight I told more people and then eventually people started noticing -- it is a great way to be accountable I am losing 1 lb/week so this is a LONG term goal and I have found that lots of friends and colleagues have been very supportive which really helps me to keep on track. It is very interesting to me that there are people who think they should have an opinion about your weight loss (I was at -30 lbs and someone was telling me not to lose any more -- and I definitely needed to lose more so I just ignored that advice -- at -68 lbs it is still an "issue" but I have learned to ignore (still annoying but I don't let it get to me). IF you do tell your family and they are not supportive then find someone that you can talk to about it so that you don't get yourself off track There are lots of supportive people here -- who have been through this!
  • hedomommy
    hedomommy Posts: 5 Member
    Options
    It is a hard decision, I don't discuss with family members. I did have a body fat analysis done in January.( I skipped the waist & hip measurement). With another body fat analysis on the 17th of this month, I struggle if I have lost enough weight or if I should have done more. I know I should only have to be accountable to myself but the trainers response weighs heavily on my mind.
  • ScifiGirl1986
    ScifiGirl1986 Posts: 104 Member
    Options
    Thanks for all the replies. I have told my mom because she is the one buying the food (I'm unemployed and living with my family until i can move out), but I don't think I'm going to tell anyone else--maybe my brother or my cousin, both of whom wouldn't have anything to say either way. My family (I have 2 aunts, grandmother, cousin, my mom and my brother that i live with) have always been rather vocal about anything they don't approve of--my weight being one of them. A few years back, my aunt decided I was too heavy (I was fine with where I was) and tried to get me a Jenny Craig subscription because I didn't fit her idea of pretty. I know that if I said anything to her, she would just smile smugly and make a comment about how she told me to lose weight 5 years ago, so I won't say anything to her until I've lost enough for her to notice (although it took her a week to notice I got my hair cut--chopped several inches off--, so it will take a while for her to notice anything).
  • No_excuses_nikki
    No_excuses_nikki Posts: 16 Member
    Options
    I lost 10 pounds before telling anyone about my lifestyle change. I did it this way because I tried so many other times and failed.
  • AwesomeGuy37
    AwesomeGuy37 Posts: 436 Member
    Options
    You will lose the weight. The worst thing about telling someone is when they make negative comments about you or your diet. I do hope when buying your food, she isn't the kind to look at what you get and criticize. I eat all kinds of stuff that someone on a "diet" shouldn't eat according to popular beliefs. I still will lose the weight because I'm on a deficit.
  • happyfeet1993
    happyfeet1993 Posts: 138 Member
    Options
    I have struggling between telling my boyfriend and not telling him.
    It's been over a month and I still refuse to tell him.
    Part of it is because I've tried to lose it so many times and told him and then failed so I feel like he just wont take me seriously if I tell him again, and I want it to be a surprise this time. Kinda like I wanna see how long it will take before he notices and says something like "babe you look different.."
    I've told my mom but she's not really supportive at all. I find the most support to be from everyone on MFP to be honest.
  • spicegeek
    spicegeek Posts: 325 Member
    Options
    if you think telling people will help you stay on track because it is making you accountable - tell them - if you think it will put unnecessary stress on you each time you eat a little too much or you plateau in your weight loss - don`t tell them
  • RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle
    RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle Posts: 1,349 Member
    Options
    I didn't tell
  • rondaj05
    rondaj05 Posts: 497 Member
    Options
    if you think telling people will help you stay on track because it is making you accountable - tell them - if you think it will put unnecessary stress on you each time you eat a little too much or you plateau in your weight loss - don`t tell them

    ^This
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
    Options
    It's entirely up to you who to tell. You could tell the part of your family you live with...they may be able to help you with your eating habits. Otherwise, it shouldn't be something "to tell." If you lose weight and they just start to notice, all the better!
    I agree with this.

    When I joined MFP, I didn't tell anyone except my husband (then boyfriend) and my best friend, who was using a similar site to help get her diet in check due to diabetes.

    This may sound really bad. But I have just known so many people (usually, but not always female) who make a really, really big production about their latest diet, exercise habits, or weight loss product they are using. And it always just kind of annoys me. So I didn't want to be that annoying person and I definitely didn't want to set myself up to feel ashamed and embarrassed if it didn't really work...or if my progress stalled after like 5 lb or something.

    I'd rather be that person causing their friends, family, and coworkers to say "Whoa, have you lost weight?" It is much more satisfying. But I know there are many people out there (including here on MFP) who seem to be motivated even more by sharing as much as possible. Some people talk about weekly facebook posts sharing their progress and so on. I can't even imagine. I was shy to do a "year end" random Q's thing and include the detail that I'd lost 58 lb in 2013.

Categories